Beg for Mercy - kindle edition v3

by Shannon Dermott

  I didn’t answer soon enough before she continued on.

  “So that’s why you haven’t dated all this time,” she accused.

  What could I say? I couldn’t tell her the truth even though I wanted to.

  “You need to make up your mind before things go too far with Luke,” she continued.

  “Don’t worry, Maggs. I’m not getting together with Paul. We’re just friends.”

  She turned to glare at me. “Friends my ass! Lie to someone who doesn’t know you.”

  I closed my eyes. Maggie knew me in ways better than I knew myself, but there were secrets that I couldn’t explain. “Drop it ok, I have enough to think about with this dinner.”

  She started watching the road and became quiet. I thought maybe the conversation was over. It didn’t last long as much as I’d hoped.

  “I like Luke, Eme and Paul’s like my best friend too. You have to choose,” she said firmly.

  “I’ve already chosen,” I said trying to sound as though I sure. “I want Luke.”

  She seemed to let go a breath she’d been holding onto. “Then you need to tell Paul.”

  That comment threw me off. Why would I need to tell Paul anything? He had a girlfriend. “Why?” I said.

  “I saw it in his eyes too. Hell, I’ve seen it there for years.”

  I tighten my eyes feeling the torch burn for Paul that I had since our kiss. “Drop it ok?” I asked pitifully. I can’t think about this right now. Everything was going great with Luke and me. Heck, tonight I would find the secret to how I can kiss without killing. It was that plan, I’d been holding on to. But a flittering thought passed through my brain. With that secret I could kiss anyone. My heart felt torn in two. Although it had only been nearly a week since Luke and I became Luke and I the couple, in high school years a week felt like an eternity.

  Maggie turned up the radio and we drove in silence the rest of the way. I’d wanted to talk to her about my dinner but it seemed almost as if she were mad at me.

  When I got out of the car her departure was awkward at best. She’d given me a half smile as if it pained her to do so and an empty good luck when I mentioned the dinner. Then she was gone and I felt as though I lost my best friend.

  Chapter Twelve

  pulchritude (n.) physical beauty

  Wind whipped was the word to describe how I looked through the mirror in my hallway after I dumped my backpack and Luke’s jacket on the chair in the living room. I was confused by my feelings over Paul and the darkness that lived inside of me. I was trying to understand the person I was becoming when there was a knock at the door.

  Dropping my hands to my sides I walked casually to the door. I opened it thinking Flynn had made a return to stalking me. I was wrong. Paul stood there shifting in his stance. He looked a bit nervous and I thought about what Maggie said.

  “You coming in or what?” I said, cheerfully trying to keep things light.

  He stopped shifting and looked at me. I mean he really looked at me as if he was trying to see inside my soul. Uncomfortable, I took a couple steps back opening the door wider. When he crossed over the doorsill, I closed the door. I was about to move around him to head to the kitchen when he caught my arm stopping my forward progress.

  “Mercy, we need to talk about earlier,” he said.

  My heart sank. I didn’t want to have this conversation. If he asked the question as I thought he might, I’d have to lie. Up until now our friendship had been pure. I’d never lied to him. I had to lie to Maggie and I didn’t want to do the same with Paul.

  I smiled up at him cheerfully and snatched his hat off his head again. But this time, I rubbed the top of his head like you would a puppy. “What about silly?” I said.

  Distracted, he released my arm and I skipped away with his hat like a little kid playing keep away. In the kitchen I opened the refrigerator getting what I needed to start the marinade. I was making dinner tonight for my mom’s mysterious guests. I should have been nervous to meet my mother’s beau and son, but there were so many other things going on like the boy in my house. I’d placed his hat on one of the bar stools that faced were I’d be preparing the meal.

  He walked in and put his hat back on before sitting down. I knew I only had moments before he would brooch the topic I wanted desperately to stay away from. In my uneasiness, I didn’t think about the love monster that showed it ugly face earlier. Maybe that was a good thing because it hadn’t surface yet.

  “Where’s Amber? I was sure you’d be spending your afternoon off with her,” I said all grins in a purely plutonic friendship way. The expression was strained and I was sure he’d see through it.

  When he spoke, he stumbled a bit which was a reminder of the boy that I’d met a little over two years ago. That boy had matured into a young man so dashing and confident. No longer did he drive his parent’s car. But thanks to hard work and a help from his parents, he drove a black Mustang with white stripes slicked down the sides with the letters spelling the car’s name blazing across it. “She’s at practice I guess,” he said still taken aback by my question I assumed.

  I needed to keep him off balance so I chided him some more. “Can’t keep up with your girlfriend, can you? I know that Luke is at practice doing what he does best,” I said with a sigh and continue working to prepare dinner. A smile was plastered to my face. I was certain my face would hurt when I stopped.

  “About that,” he began. “You think it’s a good idea to be going out with Luke?”

  I stopped myself because now I was a bit pissed. Can’t I have a life? I took a breath to calm myself. Now wasn’t the time to bitch. So instead I said with the grin still on my face which was getting a bit painful now, “Don’t worry. He hasn’t kissed me, but I plan to rectify that tomorrow.”

  Well, maybe I shouldn’t have added that last bit, but it just came out. “Has something changed or is that a still bit dangerous?” he asked.

  I turn to him now. Maybe this will warn him off for good. I really didn’t want to hurt him. He was my best friend but I had to get us back on track.

  “I’ve made up my mind to get mom to teach me what I need to know, tonight.” I regretted the words while I watched him look away briefly as if I slapped him.

  See during the ride home with Maggie in certain silence, I had time to think. Never had I forced the issue with my mom after kissing Paul. I hadn’t ever really pressured her to tell me what I needed to know, damn the cost. I’d simply accepted what she said and let Paul drift out of my life in that way. He’d waited a while now that I thought about it before he dated someone else. Maybe he was upset I hadn’t done what I was about to do for Luke for him.

  But I hadn’t and I wasn’t sure why I didn’t or why now I planned to. The truth was I wasn’t sure whether I was doing this for Luke or was I doing this because I was fed up with sitting back and watching everyone else live.

  “I’m glad to hear it. You deserve to be happy,” he said. He too wore a smile on his face but it almost seemed forced. I just hoped with those words, we were back on track.

  My mom came trudging into the house. It’s almost comically how almost every time a boy came over these days, my mom comes through the door with groceries. The only exception had been Luke’s visit. I couldn’t help but smile thinking about it.

  “Hey Paul,” my mom said. He helped her with her bags and muttered a reply to her I didn’t hear.

  “The steaks are in this bag,” she said to me handing it to me.

  “You staying for dinner?” she asked Paul.

  I turned to give her the evil eye. For her, that had been a normal question because Paul often ate dinner with us. But with his job and new girlfriend he hadn’t been around much lately. As much as it might have been nice to have an ally for dinner, I knew things weren’t quite resolved as much as I hoped with him.

  “No, I can’t tonight. I’m actually leaving to go pick up my girlfriend from practice,” he said while looking at me. Actually I wasn’t looki
ng at him but tending to the steaks. I did catch a view of him out of my peripheral vision.

  “She’s got more pulchritude than us, “ I teased.

  My mom narrowed her eyes at me. “Is that another one of your SAT words?”

  I grinned. She rolled her eyes. Paul just ignored me.

  “Another night,” she said exiting the kitchen and then headed upstairs.

  He stood and I continued to work trying not to let it bother me that he was leaving.

  “See ya, Merce.”

  “Yeah, see ya.” I said not looking up. In fact, by this time, I had my back to him. When I heard the front door close, I stopped and took long deep breaths. Mission accomplished but it hurt. Still, I did love him. I popped in my ipod in the sound system dock and rocked some upbeat tunes. I’d sung along to distract my thoughts while I prepared dinner. Halfway through I nearly moved past all that’s happened.

  Everything was in various stages of preparation waiting for the exact time to finish, so dinner came out hot when everyone was ready to eat. I headed upstairs to my room to get ready.

  I showered and changed. In my bathroom mirror, I put on a bit more makeup than usual to take me from girly to sophisticated. I put on a top I could have worn out to a club if I went clubbing and paired it with my usual look of jeans. I had that not too overly dressed look.

  I was in the last stage of cooking when the doorbell rung. My mom was still upstairs no doubt planning to make an entrance, so I headed to the door seriously curious about the man that would be on the other side.

  I wondered what the man that caught my mother’s attention looked like. With no further ado, I opened the door and was stuck by the pulchritude of men that stood in the doorway.

  Chapter Thirteen

  vestige (n.) a mark or trace of something lost or vanished

  David McCallister stood like a hulking presence just outside the door frame. The man was tall. I had to look up to meet his warm deep brown eyes that match his dark chocolate brown hair. His smile was warm and inviting and I wished I could have returned the sentiment. I recognized him instantly from the cover of a hospital newsletter my mom brought home. In the picture, he’d worn a tailored suit. Tonight he was causal in a fleece pullover perfect for the cold night with jeans. Even casual he was still refined. Based on the newsletter cover he was currently the CEO of a local pharmaceutical company and sat on the board of the hospital my mom works at. Everything made sense all at once. My ignorance was simply a vestige now.

  “Hi,” I said casually. “Please come in,” I said as graciously as I could even though I didn’t quite feel it.

  “Good Evening, Mercy,” David said, holding out his hand. His face was still inviting and I knew he was sincere.

  “And to you,” I replied taking his hand in a quick firm shake. “My mom should be down shortly.” I wished she would hurry. I wasn’t sure how long I could keep up the pretence.

  He was an attractive man. If he’d been a teacher at my school all the girls would have a crush on him. Was there a term for the reverse of jail bait or cougar? That surely would be the term for all the teenage girls that would fawn all over him. His picture hadn’t done him justice at all. His son looked a lot like him and it was a wonder I didn’t put it together before now. He walked through the door with sure steps. He had a quiet confidence about him. His son who followed him could surely learn from the father.

  “Hey Mercy,” said the son with a grin full of teeth.

  “Flynn,” I said through clenched teeth.

  “You look really good tonight.” Flynn said eying me up and down in a slow sweep. I just rolled my eyes wishing I hadn’t dressed up for this.

  “David,” a voice like honey came from behind me. I’d never heard my mother use that tone before. It was dripping sweet and my stomach rolled. Who likes to know their parents have lives? Not me especially since I wasn’t supposed to. My mom made her entrance down the staircase.

  “Julie, you look amazing,” David replied. Flynn eyed my mother with approval. I turned from him to see my mother’s smile shine bright. She wore a pale yellow baby doll top more summer like than nearly winter with skinny jeans. Her short blond hair was styled slightly spiky on top. The light makeup she wore enhanced her beauty and I secretly wished I looked more like her.

  A whisper from behind me confirmed what I knew. “You’re mom is hot,” Flynn whispered. I turned back and narrowed my eyes.

  “If you will excuse me, I have to check on dinner,” I said while closing the door behind Flynn and ignoring him. I walked by my mom and David, with a smile so familiar from this afternoon with Paul, it was automatic and very fake. Once I got in the kitchen I began with the finally preparations for dinner. My mom came in behind me.

  “So what do you think?” she asked, all cheerful as if I should be happy about this situation.

  I could have given her total grief but instead I answered truthfully. “He’s good looking, but a little advanced warning would have gone a long way, Mom,” I said giving her a lift of my eye brow. Now was not the time, but letting her know I was displeased would go a long way towards my plan after dinner.

  Flynn came in and my mom handed him a Coke and headed out with two glasses and a bottle of wine. I kept focused on dinner and tried to ignore my company in the kitchen.

  “I heard you were a good cook,” Flynn said. I sat up from where I was looking in the oven at my baby potatoes roasting under the broiler.

  “You knew and never said anything,” I said, still gritting my teeth and trying to keep my voice low. I was pissed and decided to take it out on an easy target.

  “I knew something was different with you on Friday and tried to talk to you about it, but you never gave me the chance.” I turned away knowing he was right, but I was still angry anyway.

  “I only found out on Monday night when my dad told me about you, your mother and dinner plans for tonight.”

  So that answered one question. I wondered why he had let up on bothering me so dramatically. Then it hit me that his dad told him but my mother hadn’t told me. Why, was the only question I could think of? At every turn she seemed to hide things from me. I couldn’t help but wonder what else she was hiding. Dinner couldn’t end soon enough because mom and I needed to talk.

  Flynn stayed in the kitchen, but I ignored him. Steaks were delicate. If you cooked them to long they would be awful. If you under cooked them they could be dangerous. I steamed fresh green beans blanching them so to preserve their rich green color just when dinner was ready to be served.

  We were sitting around the dining room table well into dinner when David decided to make a toast. Politely I lifted my glass with everyone else. “I want to make a toast to our amazing chef, Mercy,” he began. Everyone lifted a glass and murmured their agreements.

  “I like to make a second toast to our beautiful host, Julie,” he said. Again we lifted our glasses.

  David seemed to be on a roll because he continued speaking. “I also have question for Julie,” he said.

  He got up and moved towards her. I looked over at Flynn, who didn’t seem to be at all surprised by what was going to happen next. Looking toward me he smiled. My mouth dropped because I feared what was coming. Neither of them caught my gaping mouth because they only had eyes for each other now. His words seemed to jumble in my ear. It didn’t matter because him on one bended knee could only mean one thing. My world was spinning and I could have fainted.

  A rush of questions crossed my brain because everything seemed to be happening so fast. How long had they been dating that this was the next step? Why hadn’t she told me about him? Absolutely nothing.

  Faintly like background noise, I heard her say yes. That is when the room really began to spin. I focused hard not to say or do anything. I needed to get some air.

  A phone chirped and I looked up to see Flynn pull his cell out of his pocket. He checked the display before getting up and excusing himself from the table.

  A flash of something s
parkly caught the corner of my eye. I turned in time to see my mother grinning ear to ear. Never had I seen her so happy. I felt ashamed at my own discomfort.

  “I’ll just go get desert,” she said. When she left the room I realized that should have been me leaving so I could just breathe. Nonetheless, I didn’t think I could move anyway. My world had changed with a few simple words right before my eyes and I had no say in the matter. When my mom left the room, I took a deep swallow on nothing trying to pull it together. Clearly, this was shock I was feeling. Shattering my mediation for control, David spoke.

  “Mercy, I understand this is a shock for you.” That was an understatement. “But I want you to know I’m not trying to ruin your life or step in as your father,” he began and pull a tiny tube of something out of his pocket and reach it to set it in front of me. The tube was indistinct. I wasn’t sure what to make of it.

  “I just hope in time we can be friends,” he said. He looked at me as if he was expecting a reaction, but I had none. So he continued speaking.

  “Flynn told me about Friday,” he said. I think at this point I began to turn every shade of red known to man because I felt the heat rise in my face.

  He continued the conversation as if I’d really been participating. I could tell he could feel my discomfort. “I’ve been working on a barrier, a kind of protection from people like us for the normal person.”

  Now I was suddenly interested and picked up the tube which reminded me of Chapstick. I turned it around and around in my hand. The white tube was in descript and generic with no writing on it. “It only last as long as it is not absorbed or wiped off the skin. I’m not advocating teen sex not that this would provide any protection from that obviously. But certainly in the situation you found yourself in Friday, you might not have felt so out of place,” he said carefully.