“Not here,” I said with a smile. It wasn’t as if we hadn’t had our PDAs (public displays of affection) in the halls before, but I couldn’t explain. I guess he was content with my surprise kiss in the parking lot because he didn’t protest. But when he leaned in again, I was sure he’d do it anyway. Instead, he gave me his signature airbrush kiss. Who knew that it could light my fire more than the real thing did.
“Later,” he said with that one word filled with future promises. I watched him walk away. I couldn’t help it. The view was absolutely wonderful. I was starting to believe that Flynn wasn’t the hottest guy in school after all.
Just a bit early for class, I decided to stand where I was even after I watch him make his way down the hall. My breath caught in my throat when the unexpected rough hand around my arm pulled me from the wall to drag around a corner. The hand led me to a hallway that dead ended.
I looked up into the eyes of the owner of that hand. I was taken by surprise to see who it belonged to. “What the hell was that all about?”
I peered into the eyes of my capturer. His eyes were stone cold and his face was tight. It wasn’t an expression I’d ever seen on his face. In a way it scared me. “What are you talking about Paul?” I asked.
“That little demonstration outside,” he said voice tense and breathing heavily.
Indignant, I said, “I kissed my boyfriend. What’s the problem with that?”
His eye brows dropped and his mouth turned from the tight straight line to an upside down scowl. “He isn’t dead,” he said slowly in a low dangerous voice.
The words didn’t match the boy I knew. “And you want him to be. That doesn’t sound like the Paul I know,” I said softly and just as slow as if the pace of my words would make him understand better.
“I thought you couldn’t do that. I thought,” he began but changed course. “You didn’t kiss me like that.” His words were full of accusation and hurt. Jealousy was a better word. He was actually jealous. Just when I thought I had things all straighten out, it seemed maybe I had opened Pandora’s Box yesterday after school. I pulled the tube from my pocket and flash it in front of me like that alone would solve everything.
“Flynn’s dad is going to marry my mom. He gave this to me from his company. He said it would protect others from me.” It was the condensed version, but the bell would ring soon. “I called you last night to tell you about it but you didn’t call back.”
He snatched the tube from my hand. Inspecting it, he opened it and took a sniff. I felt angry at his lack of trust. “I was busy,” he said answering my statement from before.
“Oh, sure it’s ok for you to be busy but not me. I should just sit around these last two years and wait for you.” Oops, I shouldn’t have said that. But the words were out and I couldn’t take them back.
“I waited for you,” he said, his voice gone low and soft. Damn, he said it. The unspoken words were out. Now what? I shouldn’t have asked.
The next thing I knew he’d opened the top of the tube and spread the balm on his lips and pressed them to mine before I could comprehend what was happening. It wasn’t a French kiss. Which by the way I never understood why tongue exchange warranted the term French. Still his mouth was firm on mine with his hands on either side of my face. I can’t lie and say I felt nothing but before I could grasp what I did feel he’d pulled back and handed the tube back to me.
“It works,” he announced bristly and stalked off leaving me baffled with the turn of the events. I almost felt like a slut. I just kissed two boys in a matter of minutes. But then again I hadn’t asked for the second. God knows however, I didn’t stop it either. Thankfully, the hall was dimly lit. The only thing down this way was a janitor’s closet. This hall was frequently used by students who wanted privacy. Whoever designed the layout of the school hadn’t thought about the other uses of this alcove. Nobody saw, I hoped. When the bell rung, I pushed myself from the wall I nearly melded with. I stepped out into the hall and into Flynn. Things weren’t getting any better.
“Late, huh,” he said. “We should talk.”
His hand was wrapped around my forearm and frankly I was getting tired of being manhandled today. “I need to get to class,” I said snatching my arm from his grasp.
“I bet you’ve never been late nor skipped before,” he said mockingly.
He was right I hadn’t. “No. And I’m going to rectify that now.”
“Don’t brush me off,” he said with his face impassive. He was good with changing emotions fast.
I walked by him. “Call me tonight and we can talk.” I grinned to myself because I knew what his response would be.
“I don’t have your number,” he said.
I turned around to deliver the crushing blow. “Get it from Luke,” I said coldly. The smile was gone from my face before I turned to duct into class. I hoped for mercy from my teacher because I’d never once been late.
Score two for me which wasn’t bad odds out of three. But there was no happiness in my victories because I didn’t know what to do about Paul. In class I found myself drifting again trying to put all the pieces together. It should be simple. I love Paul and have for two years. He obviously had some repressed feelings for me as well. So we should just be together. But then there was the matter of two very nice people we would hurt in the process, Amber and Luke.
One could say we were hurting them by having feelings behind their back. But truth be known, I didn’t date Luke in spite of Paul. I genuinely like Luke a lot. I was sure that Paul dated Amber because she was really pretty and nice. They were compatible. So Paul and I should just let things be. High school relationships don’t last forever excluding Jay and Kathy. And they were not normal. Being together since middle school was unheard of. I kept flashing on Paul’s angry face and the revelation in his words. Silently we’d both waited for each other this long. He could have said something. I wouldn’t take the blame for this. I’d nearly killed him. I couldn’t have asked him to be with me and not ever kissed like a normal couple. Luke had taken the initiative and told me he’d wait. Paul never said or tried to be anything more than my friend. How dare he be mad at me?
When the bell rung signaling the end of class, I headed to my next period intently watching the faces not wanting to run into Flynn or Paul. Gratefully I made it through to lunch without anymore incidents. My hope not to see Nina worked. I was certain my little display this morning had gotten back to her, if she hadn’t seen it firsthand.
At the beginning of the lunch period, I headed to my locker as usual to deposit all my books. Maggie showed up moments later. Before she could speak and dive into the latest gossip or let me know she and Paul had spoken, I beat her to the punch.
“Maggs, I’m in big trouble.” I said. I recited the whole story again omitting any supernatural references like the tube of special lip balm. I really needed to let her in on the secret. So much more of the story would make more sense if she knew.
“Shit, I knew this would happen,” she said while leaning on her locker.
“What do you mean?” I asked. I made a beeline for the girl’s bathroom. Inside the drab gray fortress with faded coral colored stalls that tried to infuse the space with color and failed miserably, I stared into one of the industrial mirrors. I needed to apply some balm. I just had a feeling I might need it. Better safe than sorry.
“I’ve seen the way the two of you have looked at each other a long time. It was only a matter of time. What are you going to do?” She was looking at my reflection in the mirror as I applied one coat balm and one coat gloss.
I was never surer of my words then the ones that I said to her now. “I don’t want to lose my friendship with Paul.”
Her green eyes were fierce on mine. “What are you going to tell him because obviously that little display of yours this morning struck a nerve with him?”
I’d forgotten about the look on everyone’s face after my kiss with Luke. “What was the problem with me kissing Luke this
morning? You’d think no one else kisses anyone on school grounds.”
“Eme, you looked like you were about to have sex in the parking lot.” I wanted to say if that were true she and Brent mirrored that look at school on a regular basis. But I kept that thought to myself because it would only start a fight. My eyes grew big anyway because I thought more about how she and Brent looked. It embarrassed me to think that I looked like that. “It did not,” I said.
She nodded understanding my question. “It did.”
I didn’t remember that at all. Heck we’d only kissed a few seconds. Our conversation continued with her impressions of my make out session while we headed to lunch a lot later than usual. Looking around I felt safe because Paul and Amber were MIA. This was true during lunch the last two weeks according to what Maggie said yesterday. So I got in line only worried that Flynn might say something stupid.
When we finally made it to the senior table, Paul and Amber both sat there looking very unhappy. Damn, they were here. Maggie eyed me but said nothing. I sat next to Luke as usual. He was talking with Flynn I think about an interview on ESPN with some pro football player. At least that’s all I got from the conversation as I nibbled on a dry cheeseburger.
Maggie sat across from me next to Brent who was listening intensely to whatever Flynn was saying. I didn’t dare look at either end of the table. Nina sat next to Amanda on one end and Paul and Amber were at the other. I felt trapped. If it was true, I looked as though I was sexing up Luke in the parking lot, the news would have gotten around. I still wasn’t sure why I felt responsible for her feelings.
I’d drifted inward into my own thoughts when Luke leaned over and whispered in my ear. “Let’s get out of here.”
I smiled weakly. Leaving with him now would only fuel the gossip train. But I too wanted to be alone with him. I did. I also desperately wanted to be away from four nameless people at this table. Getting away was more important than the rumors that would spread about me regardless of me slipping away from lunch early.
He stood and helped me up taking my tray of barely eaten food. “Not hungry today?” he asked while I got to my feet.
I shook my head no not wanting to speak. I thought we’d make a clean escape when Jay spoke up. He said what I would have expected to come from Flynn’s mouth. “Are you two going to finish what you started this morning?”
The statement brought a round of laughter from the table and a rush of heat to my cheeks. But I had to smile when Luke answered. “There isn’t nearly enough time for that. I’m not sure what Kathy’s used too.”
That brought another round of laughter. I did look at Kathy to see how the girl handled the spotlight. She was red but not necessarily from embarrassment.
Brent and Maggie also got up but they didn’t follow us. I heard Flynn mumble something but we were too far away. I assumed it meant he too was leaving with Amanda.
A blast of cold air hit me as I followed Luke outside through the side doors. I didn’t think we were headed to the bleachers. It was a popular lunchtime spot but it was too cold. Instead he took me to his car. Maybe I could have been insulted that he presumed we needed this much privacy. But frankly I wanted to be alone with him. The kiss this morning had set my hormones on fire. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t sure I was ready to take the big plunge. But a round of hot and heavy kissing was right up my alley.
Although we got in the back and he’d turned the car on along with the heater. Did I mention it was cold out? In minutes, we wouldn’t need heat from the car because I knew we’d create our own. I thought we’d head into a make out session. Instead it seemed he wanted to talk. Darn.
“What’s up? Did something happen last night?” he asked. Was this was a normal reaction from a boyfriend who was promised so much from a kiss this morning? Especially one that hung out with the likes of Flynn and maybe Brent. But Luke was different and had been since the beginning. I would expect this from Paul and actually had gotten the third degree from him. So just never expected this from Luke.
Feeling like a chastised catholic school girl, I folded my hands in my lap smoothing out my jeans. I looked at my fingers nervously moving them around. He took my hands. “No, nothing happened,” I said when I met his eyes again.
“You sure?” he asked, his face puzzled.
“No, why?” I said trying not to look as uneasy as I felt with these questions.
“Well, the shy girl who wanted to wait to kiss me proceeded to do so with vigor this morning in front of everyone. Not that I minded, it was just unexpected?”
I saw in his eyes concern. Something I wouldn’t have expected not too long ago from anyone other than Paul but Luke had proven to be the kind of guy that did care. Again, I wanted to know what happened between him and Nina.
Desperate to change the subject I ignored his statement and honestly curious, I dived into my question. “Did you go to homecoming with Nina?” I blurted out.
His face changed struck by my words no doubt. He didn’t answer right away. “You kissed me because of Nina. What did Flynn tell you last night?” he asked and I could tell he was irritated.
“He didn’t tell me anything. I just wanted to know.”
Again he searched my face before he said, “Nina has nothing to do with what’s between you and me.”
He didn’t answer my question but there was no time for anything else when he laid his hand over mine. It felt as though he lit a trail of gasoline up my arm and through my body. It created a slow burned that was all for him. My hands shot up to his head like a rocket and drew him to me. We leaned back against the car door. I kissed him with a fury that had been buried inside me since this morning. The need to be close to him was strong. My hands fisted through his soft curly hair and I couldn’t get him close enough to me to satisfy the hunger that seemed to grow. My shirt must have lift slightly because I felt his hands against my naked flesh on the sides of my hips and tighten there.
We only took a five second breather here and there in between before our mouths fused back together. His hands slowly rose under my shirt with his palms curled around the sides of me. His hand grazed the bottom of my bra with my shirt rolling up with it when a sharp rap on the window shot us apart. Moving back quickly, his head hit the top of the car as mine hit the window when he suddenly released me.
“Ouch,” I murmured with my hand on the back of my head. The windows were fogged up, so we couldn’t see out. I pulled my shirt back in place breathing hard and watched Luke look at me in utter fascination.
He moved between the seats and pushed the down button on the window I’d been leaning on. Stay strands of my hair pulled down into the door with the window. I made a small cry of pain when he looked back at me.
“Sorry,” he said rolling the window back all the way up so I could be released and move away from the window. Once I was freed, he rolled down the front window instead.
Flynn dipped his head through and looked back at me shaking his head. “What are the two of you doing? Are you undulating in there?”
I looked up at Flynn in surprise. He had a twinkle in his eye. “Yeah, I found your little phone app,” he said grinning at me. Luke looked between us. Then Flynn spoke before Luke could. “The bell rang and I could tell you both missed that. Don’t be late,” he said jovially.
“Thanks,” Luke said. He rolled up the window while Flynn’s head was still there. Flynn moved quickly not to be caught. I chuckled at that. Served him right, but he did warn us. Luke moved back and his hand moved to my hair. I thought he might kiss me again when I realized he was just smoothing my hair.
“What was that about?” he asked.
“What?” I countered.
“Phone app?”
“Oh, I’m using a SAT word of the day app to built my vocab for the test. I’ve been testing them out on Flynn to his dismay. I guess he’s on to me.”
Luke laughed and shook his head. “We should go,” he said.
I don’t know why but I felt as though m
aybe I disappointed him in some way. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I’m not normally this way,” I spewed wanting to erase the look in his eyes.
“Maybe we should slow things down a bit. I don’t want you to regret anything we do.” I closed my eyes grateful it seemed he wasn’t ready to dump me for acting like a complete slut.
“Maybe,” I said softly. Honestly I didn’t want to slow things down. What does that say about me? But I kept that thought to myself.
Maybe he saw he rejection in my eyes because he leaned down and softly kissed me. I felt the fire inside return but fought it with amazing strength I didn’t think I had. I was holding back wanting to enjoy the soft sweet kiss he gave me now instead of the hard eager one I’d initiated before.
It was over far too quickly. He took my hand when we exited the car. Par for course, he walked me to class and gave me the signature airbrush kiss in the hall. Again the temptation to do more and not was far more exhilarating than the frantic kiss in the car. Don’t get me wrong it certainly wasn’t more satisfying. I couldn’t watch him walk away this time. The halls were filled with students finding their way to class.
Next period, when I got to my shared class I had with Maggie and Paul, I sat with nervous anticipation. I had gotten their early hoping he’d be there. We needed to talk. But he didn’t show until right before the bell. He slipped silently in his assigned seat behind me. Maggie didn’t look at me but I knew what she was thinking. Paul still looked unhappy and I was sure it was because of me. I took no pleasure in that. I felt slightly conflicted.
After class he bolted not saying a word to either of us. Maggie and I left speechless heading to last period. Avoiding me wasn’t going to solve anything. I didn’t look forward to the impending conversation, but we couldn’t ignore it.
The rest of the day went by in a blur. I went over to Maggie’s after school to get ready for the game. We had to wear something for the outdoors but be prepared for the party afterwards. The after party would not be a Dewey’s this time. Instead it was going to be at Luke’s. With his mom out of town for the weekend, it was his turn to do his part for the grand entertainment for the high school senior crowd. Never having been to his house before my curiosity was peaked. I have to say I was most fascinated to see his room although being alone with him there may not be a good idea. However, seeing his personal space might reveal things yet unknown to me about him.
Beg for Mercy - kindle edition v3 Page 11
