Yawning, I found myself drifting on a calming sea of sleep. A part of me wanted to open my eyes and explore the library. I shouldn’t have given up so easily. If these books existed surely there may be others in the many shelves of book relating to succubus. But it was too late. I knew I was asleep when I heard the faint echo of my name. I think I shook my head because it felt like I should follow the voice to the present.
Opening my eyes I found myself in a dense gray mist. I could barely see my hands in front of me. My bare feet touched the cool earth as I stumbled forward not sure of my direction. When I heard my name again I cried out for Sebastian because voice had called out for Kayla. No one else called me that. In fact no one called me either Kayla or McKayla so it had to be Sebastian right? But It didn’t sound like him. Even though the voice was pleasant and inviting, the voice was all wrong. It tried to use a soothing tone. Then I remembered. The voice.
Running now, I felt arms around me and I was lifted off my feet. I cried out No soundlessly as nothing escaped my throat. I wanted to thrash and fight as I glided through the mist in invisible arms. The voice although further away grew stronger and more insistent. Before I could reason that I should tell Flynn or Luke about this something clicked in my brain.
I found now that I wanted to run to the voice. I was sure I was headed up a mountain even though I still couldn’t see. The voice gave chase in strength as it grew fainter in the distant. The mist parted when we reached the top. Whoever held me turned a bit and I had a view below through the haze that had clouded my vision before. I was high above the earth below like I had a bird’s eye view or a view from an airplane on a cloudless day.
It turned me forward again and I saw with clarity it was Luke’s house. Not the house in the Hamptons, but the home he and his mother shared. We drifted past and through the door like ghost. Once inside I found myself instantly in his room. He was laying me down on the bed with that angelic look of his captured on his face.
Tenderness spread through me and I could do nothing else but reach up and touch him. He leaned down in utter slow motion for the kiss I was compelled to receive. I had a momentarily flash that this dream would turn into a nightmare. Where had the voice gone? I hadn’t heard anymore. Frighten beyond belief I opened my eyes.
“Luke,” I said.
He kissed me briefly before laying on the bed next to me. His strong arms wrapped around me in a warm embrace.
“Get some sleep, Mercy,” he said.
“But,” I said. Gently, he turned my face back to his and kissed me again.
“Sleep,” he said. Like a command my body obeyed without choice. I slept.
Much later I woke or something woke me. I think it was morning, but it didn’t matter. I found myself tangled in Luke embrace with my hand frantically searching for the hem of his shirt, I knew what had woken me. The succubus was in control. Waking with her heat I found that maybe I too wanted what coming as much as she did.
She found her way underneath his shirt. When her hands touched his bare skin and solid muscles, even I relished the feeling. But fear gripped me as I realized her intentions. ‘Do it,’ the voice said.
Luke’s eyes opened when her hands dipped lower than his stomach to the drawstrings of his pants. He caught her hands and I couldn’t help but let escape a sigh of relief which sounded more like a wounded moan for hers. She gave him a wicked smile as she pressed herself firmly against him until our bodies align like stars in perfect coordination. She nipped at his lower lips and he released her hands. She moved them to his face to pull him closer if that had been possible.
I felt all that she felt. It was my body too but I was powerless to stop her. Luke was smart and he had to know this wasn’t me. But then again how much did he know about what Flynn and I were. ‘Stop thinking,’ the voice dictated. The kiss was passion with everything heighten in between. His eagerness was obvious. I felt it pressed to my lower body giving me understanding just how amorous he was feeling. I wanted to flush but my blush turned more to heat in the hands of the succubus.
The voice wasn’t affecting my reactions this time. Was it controlling Luke or directing my demon? But I was sure my succubus needed no encouragement to act in the manner in which was.
Touching lightly at first, his hands dipped under my shirt. His fingers were on my back and tingles of delight ran oddly through my belly. I could feel it as real as if I was in control of my actions. They traced the contours of my back before descending lower to my hips. I knew if he didn’t stop we would reach the point of no return. My hands or her hands were frantically in his hair as she arched forward prompting him to have a firm grip on my bottom as a sound escaped his own mouth.
“Mercy McKayla,” I cried out in an inaudible voice in my head in a roar. It was strong and loud and I found myself being propelled back in the driver’s seat. As I took control I made evasive maneuvers and rolled myself away which resulted in me landing my ass on the floor. Don’t get me wrong, at this point I wasn’t sure I didn’t want to be with Luke that way. But no matter what I felt, with no sure control over what was inside me, I could risk his life over sex.
“Mercy, are you ok?” Luke said from his position leaning over the bed looking at me on the floor.
I couldn’t quite answer because I was breathless and flushed all over from his touch. Fear shown in my eyes I was sure. I still wanted him. Crab walking backwards from him, I scrambled to my feet. I ran to the bathroom and shut the door locking it behind me. Inside I was able to tell I was still in the Hampton’s. In fact I’d showered in here earlier unless all the bathrooms were decorated the same. So this was the room he’d claimed to belong to him. Evidently, that part of the dream was true in a way. I sat with my back to the door trying to figure out how much of this had been a dream. I wasn’t for sure and couldn’t trust myself.
He didn’t call to me but I heard him on the other side of the door. Maybe it was the slight creek of his weight that was an indication if I could trust my hearing over the pounding in my heart. I didn’t blame him. But his silence led me to believe if it wasn’t a dream he was sorry.
For the first time, I now believed maybe my mother was right. I should have stayed the course and left boys alone. I had to be hurt him at least emotionally because I was hurting myself.
I opened my mouth to speak and tell him it was my fault but fear closed it. If he knew I had so little control over the demon in my body would he feel safe to continue to stay with me? So I closed my mouth and again fought tears I wouldn’t let come. Drawing my knees to my chest, I covered my head in my hands and pressed them to my knees.
Chapter Thirty
compelling (adj.) forceful, demanding attention
A while later a knock came on the door at my back. I was still sitting in a pool of myself loathing when Flynn voice broke the silence in the room.
“Merce, open the door.”
I turned and put my hand against the door frame. Where had Luke gone? I hadn’t heard him leave. Did I imagine him next to me on the door? Was I losing my mind?
“Come on, open up?” he said.
Still I made no move to open it. I wasn’t ready yet to face my demons. The door knob turned and I moved sliding across the floor as he opened it inward. Flynn had a way about him which always conflicted with his outward personality. He knelt down and scooped me in his arms giving me comfort and understanding I didn’t feel I deserve.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
I let him hold me but I didn’t return the move. I was like Playdough in his hands. “Luke went to get Maggie,” he said. “She is going to ride back with us since Brent will be in the hospital a few more days.”
I said nothing. I wasn’t ready to admit what I’d almost done. I hadn’t yet admitted it to myself.
“Are you and Luke fighting again?” he asked. “I offered to pick her up but he insisted. He had the same haunted expression you do.”
So it wasn’t all a dream and Luke was just as horrified as I w
as. Yet he hadn’t stayed to talk to me. He’d left which could only mean one thing. He was going to break things off with me if his actions weren’t words enough.
I pulled away from Flynn realizing I couldn’t hold the tears any longer. Standing, he set me on my feet. I would excuse this transgression of tears. I was losing the boy I maybe loved. My heart breaking sure felt like I loved him, but it felt so different from what I felt for Paul. Before now I was sure I loved him. It didn’t matter, I would never have the chance to love Luke anymore. I stood and went back in the room getting a few things from my bag.
Flynn followed me back in the room shadowing my movements. After I had what I needed, I headed back to the bathroom shutting the door between us locking it this time. Oh, I was sure he could get in if he wanted. So I headed to the shower and turned it on hoping he would get the message.
When the knocking stopped, I assumed he did. I showered and changed. Dressed in the bedroom I found myself alone again. I did the only thing I could. I packed and left the room. Downstairs, I ate a bagel out of a bagel left on the counter saying nothing and made myself scarce. I found the library again and explored the bookcase until Flynn came for me to tell me it was time to go. My own inner voice was yelling at me to tell him what had been happening. Frozen, I didn’t speak. Truth was I was ashamed.
Finding no more succubus titles or any other strange books like the ones I found last night, I exited the library. I’d check the tables and they were still there so I was sure I hadn’t dreamed them.
The drive home was pretty quiet after Maggie gave us an update of Brent’s progress. The doctors were pleased with his healing almost to the point of being impressed. They were pretty sure he’d be released with his current progress in just a few more days. Maggie had been holding a vigil by Brent’s side until now and fell asleep fast. I had been afraid to sleep, but in the silence drifted off.
I woke to Luke’s gentle voice. When my vision cleared I realized we were the only two left in the car. More surveillance showed we were in front of my house.
“Mercy, I’m sorry,” he said. There was a sadness in his voice. I could hear the words he was about to say.
Sitting up in the backseat, a thunderous panic ran over me. Were we about to break up? “No, I’m the one that’s sorry and I understand,” I said in a feeble voice.
His face changed from sorry to one of confusion. “What do you mean you understand?” he asked.
I kept my eyes on him, even though I desperately wanted to look away. “I understand why you want to break up with me,” I said.
In seconds, he maneuvered his way in the back seat with me. I’d been looking at him in the driver seat with me planted in behind the passage seat one moment and the next I was in his arms somewhere in the middle.
“I don’t want to break up with you,” he said. “And you have nothing to be sorry for.”
I heaved in a gulp of air in response to my need to hold back the wave of emotion. Overlooking the obvious moral issues, I was concerned with the fact I most certainly would have killed him if we’d gone all the way. “I could have killed you by losing control,” I said.
He stroked my hair calming me. “I have no one to blame but myself for nearly giving into temptation. It felt like I woke from a dream and didn’t know it,” he said.
“So you’re really not breaking up with me,” I said.
He held me tighter, “No, I was sure you were going to break up with me for violating your trust,” he said.
I looked up at him and even though I was sure we both wanted to kiss, we refrained. “You should go inside,” he said. “Your mother’s watching.”
I pulled back and surveyed the front of the house. I didn’t see her. Somewhere in the back of my head, it reminded me of the strange comment Tom had made letting me know Luke was coming when I hadn’t heard the car. But I chucked this to my mom moving away from a window before I saw her. “Do you want to come in?” I asked hopefully. “There are some things I need to tell you about. Like the voice I’ve been hearing in my head,” I said.
Alarm rang in his eyes. “Voices,” he said in a rush.
“Yeah, it’s weird.” I began.
He looked up expectantly. Then his face turned to stare at my house. “Look, I’ll call you later. You need to tell me everything. In the meantime, don’t be alone, ok?” he said.
I nodded. Again he looked at my house. I couldn’t read his expression. Then he looked back at me. I was sure he wanted to stay but he said, “I should probably get home.”
I nodded and we got out of the car. He carried my bag and held my hand in the other. We walked like that to the door. With my hand on the door knob he gave me a kiss just not the one I longed for. He gave me the airbrush kiss. Before he left, again he stared at me like there was more to say. Instead he promised to call me later.
Inside, I headed up to my room dropping my bag on my bed before turning around to go back downstairs to the kitchen. I’d heard my mom down there. Maybe it was time to talk. She was fussily banging around the kitchen as she always did when she was trying to prepare a meal.
“I’m home. I can make lunch,” I said.
She jumped as if she wasn’t expecting me. But how could that be if Luke had seen her.
“I see you made your way inside. Is he here too?” she asked, visibly not pleased with the idea. She hadn’t yet looked back at me.
“Luke went home, so it’s just you and me,” I said.
She stood and turned around. “Mercy, I really don’t think it’s such a good idea for the two of you to be together,” she said.
A ball of anger churned in my chest, but I had to try really hard to control my emotions around her. “Mom, Luke and I are together so you’ll just have to deal with it. You could help the situation by telling me how to protect him.”
“You’re the one that needs protecting Mercy,” she said. Her blue blazed truths not yet told.
There were times like this one that I wanted to shout at my mother but out of respect I’d kept quiet. I mentally counted to ten so the next words out of my mouth wouldn’t be disrespectful. Somehow I held it together. She wasn’t stupid. Luke was human and I was the succubus. I was the threat.
“Stop changing the subject and act like my mom. I can’t compel you to tell me. So be my protector and teach me what I need to know,” I said, vaguely holding my temper in check.
She looked at me with sympathy that confused me. I expected anger not the expression she had on her face. I looked away from her eyes and noticed she was dressed in her nurse scrubs. She was going to work tonight. I glanced at the oven clock to see it wasn’t yet noon. Had she just gotten back from work or was she headed out? Because we weren’t talking as much I didn’t know her schedule for this week.
“Mercy, there are things that I can’t yet explain. You need to trust me and give me time. It’s obvious you have the basics if you are dating,” she said.
I narrowed my eyes. I wanted to tell her the only reason why I was dating was because Luke unbelievably understanding and hadn’t pushed me. Yeah, we had a few close encounters but I was starting to believe the voice in my head may have something to do with at least some of my troubles. Then there was the balm David gave me but based on her mood I didn’t want to bring him into our fight. So I said something that in retrospect I may have kept to myself. “Yeah, thanks to Flynn,” I said half-heartedly.
Her eyes grew wide. “What have you and Flynn been doing? Isn’t Luke your boyfriend?” she asked.
I understood her implication and let her stew in it a bit more with my answer. “Luke is my boyfriend, but Flynn is my teacher,” I said sarcastically. “If you would teach me I wouldn’t need a substitute.”
“Mercy McKayla, I’m still your mother,” she said. It had been quiet sometime since she used my middle name against me.
“Well then act like it,” I said. This was not the daughter she was used to but ignoring and avoiding the topic wasn’t working.
She stepped away and began to continue mulling around the kitchen. “I know you deserve the truth,” she began. “But promises were made that I have to keep. I need time Mercy, please give me that.”
She turned to me when she delivered the last sentence. I saw the truth in her eye. Her utter sincerity had me still my tongue. I looked away when I saw her eyes glisten. I wasn’t going to cry, so I hoped she wouldn’t either. “Fine,” I said. Then I did something I don’t think either of us expected. I hugged her. She placed one hand around me and we found a truce.
“There was another woman found dead this morning,” she said over my shoulder.
I let her go taking a step back. “What’s going on?” I asked because all of a sudden I thought I could read her like a book. She knew more than what she let on.
“David and I are going to handle it but in the meantime, he wants us to stay at his house,” she said. “So I’ll drop you off there on my way to work. Pack a few things to last you a couple of days.”
“Where was she found?” I asked fearing I knew the answer.
“South Hampton,” she said. Her expression said everything.
I was stunned. I didn’t bother to ask for answers. It was clear she nothing more needed to be said. Planning in my head, I would ask Luke or Flynn tonight. David was much more of an open parent and most likely would have given Flynn more details.
Kicking my mom out of what I deemed my kitchen, I threw together a healthy lunch. Content that our relationship was in a better place, we ate making small talk about what she and David did on our trip. We both left the subject of the missing women alone. It was clear more so than ever wherever I was, so was the killer.
After eating I’d packed a bag which wasn’t hard because the essentials were already packed from our recent trip. I just swapped out clothes. With nostalgia, I looked around my room and knew it was unlikely I would be in it much longer. David and my mom were getting married. It was it was probable that once we made his house our temporary home, rationale would be given why there was no compelling reason for us to leave.
Beg for Mercy - kindle edition v3 Page 29
