Clarkesworld Magazine Issue 84

by Greg Mellor

  Thanks for doing this interview.

  Thanks for chatting with me. It’s been a real pleasure.

  About the Author

  Jeremy L. C. Jones is a freelance writer, editor, and teacher. He is the Staff Interviewer for Clarkesworld Magazine and a frequent contributor to Kobold Quarterly and Booklifenow.com. He teaches at Wofford College and Montessori Academy in Spartanburg, SC. He is also the director of Shared Worlds, a creative writing and world-building camp for teenagers that he and Jeff VanderMeer designed in 2006. Jones lives in Upstate South Carolina with his wife, daughter, and flying poodle.

  Another Word:

  I am an Endangered Species

  Alethea Kontis

  Sometimes, I read reviews people have written of my work. Sometimes I don’t. It’s no big deal. I do like to make comments on people’s blogs thanking them for their time—they do appreciate it, and I’m prepared to take the bad with the good. I recently found a perverse pleasure in responding to people who auto-Tweet their reviews (good and bad) from Goodreads. I giggle at the mental image of them freaking out (good and bad) because THE AUTHOR IS WATCHING.

  My favorites are the three-star reviews, those bastions of subjectivity! Based on the reader’s experience, three stars can mean that they couldn’t put it down, or that they dropped it in the tub. One of the best wondered, “Was the author tripping on drugs?” But my favorite to date asked, “Three days to fall in love with a frog? How realistic is that?”

  The question references my fairytale novel mash-up that opens with a retelling of “The Frog Prince” by the Brothers Grimm: A fifteen-year-old introvert writer wanders into a glen and finds a frog who’s actually interested in her work. We find out in the course of the novel that there were magical forces at work that not only orchestrated their meeting but also facilitated their affection but let’s put that aside . . . what fascinates me most about the comment is its willingness to suspend disbelief for the fairy tale world problem but not the actual life experience.

  Has our concept of “reality” come so far that we’ve begun to question real life? Or worse, have young people really become so jaded that no one believes in love at first sight anymore?

  Consider the science, both chemical and psychological.

  Limerence is defined as an involuntary state of obsessive-compulsive longing for emotional dependence, and is a result of biochemical processes in the brain.

  A “look of love” must last 8.2 seconds, and no less. Love at first glance is the very science behind Speed Dating.

  Attraction happens within the first three minutes of conversation.

  Infatuation—the thing often born from raging hormones and imagined, unrealistic expectations—is a less mature form of limerence, but does not always mean it’s not love.

  This love you speak of. It is a thing. People have it. We can PROVE it.

  I fall in love with people all the time. All. The. Time. I mean, yeah, I was once a boy-crazy preteen who had pictures of actors all over her walls and made up all sorts of grand futures for myself and the Boy-of-My-Dreams-At-the-Moment, but I’m talking real love in real life. It doesn’t have to be the romantic kind.

  Mary Robinette Kowal locked her keys in the car while we were introducing ourselves, and I’ve loved her ever since. Casey Cothran and I watched “Poltergeist II” at the same church lock-in. Edmund Schubert and I sat on a bench at a convention and ate granola bars. Catie Murphy and I happened to be taking the same shuttle bus. I was in the front row when John Scalzi crashed my friend’s reading. John Ringo and I shared cheesecake at a publisher dinner. Sammie Bitner bumped me in a busy food court and cried, “Oh, my god, I love you!” I yelled back, “Oh my god, I love you too!” We’ve been great friends ever since.

  All of these people are friends so close I consider them family. They inspire me. They increase my endorphins and raise my serotonin levels. I love them all—real love—but each instance definitely started with infatuation—silly, fifteen-year-old-girl-type infatuation.

  So . . . what does it take to make a society disbelieve the idea of infatuation?

  I blame two things: Fear and loss of hope.

  This world we live in is scary. Even scarier than it used to be. Terrorists are real and soldiers go to Afghanistan and angry people with guns shoot up food courts and movie theatres and elementary schools. There are people honestly preparing for the zombie apocalypse. Love, too, is a scary thing. When you open yourself up to the possibility of love, you also open yourself up to a possibility of pain. Once that person gets inside your head they know how to hurt you worse than anyone else. Is it a stretch to imagine that a child who grows up afraid of being hurt physically would similarly be afraid of being hurt emotionally?

  And then there’s hopelessness. In the eighties, popular culture was filled with books and stories of how one man/woman/child could Make a Difference and Save the World! We now live on a planet in the throes of global warming with seven billion other people, and the pop culture icons that save the world only do so with inhuman abilities and catastrophic damage of public property. Legions of apathetic teenagers would much rather sit around and play Call of Duty. Make a difference? But that takes WORK.

  So does love.

  Fascinating, isn’t it, that this random three-star review could open my eyes to the dystopia in which I already appear to be living—a world that might consciously be evolving away from infatuation and love at first sight. I must face the very real possibility that I, and optimists like me, have become a dying breed. Perhaps I should be more careful when proposing silly ideas like cerebral infatuation leading to a healthy relationship and a happily ever after.

  Happily ever after! That’s right! I said that!

  But I’m probably just tripping on drugs.

  About the Author

  New York Times bestselling author Alethea Kontis is a princess, a goddess, a force of nature, and a mess. She’s known for screwing up the alphabet, scolding vampire hunters, turning garden gnomes into mad scientists, and making sense out of fairy tales.

  Alethea is the co-author of Sherrilyn Kenyon’s Dark-Hunter Companion, and penned the AlphaOops series of picture books. Her short fiction, essays, and poetry have appeared in a myriad of anthologies and magazines. She has done multiple collaborations with Eisner winning artist J.K. Lee, including The Wonderland Alphabet and Diary of a Mad Scientist Garden Gnome. Her debut YA fairy tale novel, Enchanted, won the Gelett Burgess Children’s Book Award in 2012.

  Born in Burlington, Vermont, Alethea now lives in Northern Virginia with her Fairy Godfamily. She makes the best baklava you’ve ever tasted and sleeps with a teddy bear named Charlie.

  Editor’s Desk:

  Post-Apocalyptic Publishing

  Neil Clarke

  In anticipation of our seventh anniversary issue next month, I’ve been trying to compile my thoughts on what we’ve done and where we’ll be going. It’s been a fairly chaotic time for magazines and publishing in general. I suppose that’s one of the reasons I’ve enjoyed it as much as I have. In the grand scheme of things, Clarkesworld is still a child, but digitally speaking we’re older than most.

  My mind wanders sometimes when I think of these things. It can be dangerous when your imagination runs wild and casts digital publishers in a post-apocalyptic series as a rag-tag group of kids adapting to a new world in which no one thinks they can survive . . .

  Episode 0: A New World—Pilot, Unreleased

  Only available as a bonus feature on the Director’s Cut DVD. This episode was considered too harsh by executives due to its gritty portrayal of the high mortality rate amongst the children in the early years. Some footage from this episode was later retooled for use in flashbacks throughout the series.

  Episode 1: The Elders

  Originally scheduled as episode two, “The Elders” was moved because network executives felt that this would make a more accessible entry point in the absence of the pilot. The story centered on the children’s discover
y of a bunker in the ruins of a city. Upon exploration, they are captured by “elders” and introduced to a shadowy corporate-type figurehead that was supposed to become the big baddy of the series arc. Several minutes are spent on his Paper Empire monologue. This speech provided many fan favorite quotes, including “Bow down, you pixel-stained technopeasant wretches!” and “Webscabs! Each and every one of you!” With the help of a few sympathetic elders that had been waiting for someone to show them the way, the gang escapes, but only after a lengthy chase scene.

  Episode 2: Exposure

  Since this episode was originally scheduled to be before “Elders of Publishing,” none of the characters introduced in that episode are featured in this one. Instead, the gang crosses paths with a Love Cult that keeps its followers in check by addicting them to a blue and glowy drug called “Exposure.” The gang spends most of the episode trying to corner various members and convince them that there is more to life than exposure. Originally, this episode was to feature a cameo by Harlan Ellison as the owner of a rehab clinic, but his deprogramming scenes were considered controversial and inevitably cut. Fans of the show have developed complex conspiracy theories about this still lost footage.

  Episode 3: To Serve for an Eternity

  The first episode shown in intended order, “To Serve for an Eternity” features the kids coming across one of the Elder camps and discovering the evils of contractual slavery. Network executives uncomfortable with the portrayal of the conditions insisted on edits that would eventually lead the director to resign. What results is a mish-mash of corporate propaganda and pontificating on the rights of others, but no real resolution. Universally disliked by fans.

  Episode 4: Utopia

  Mercifully, “Utopia” was the last episode of the series to be filmed. By this point in the series, most of the writing staff had resigned over professional differences caused by network micromanaging. The inclusion of a performance of “Pixels of Sunshine” by failed boy band Digitally Speaking, was the direct result of a five-minute air time shortage and network nepotism. The band’s vacant lip-synching had the unanticipated effect of making their portrayal of the Shangri-La society a bit creepy and uncomfortable. As the show’s original Director said, “Like a gift from the gods, the show’s executives screwed up so badly that the fans finally got to see what we had originally intended for this series.”

  As you can see, I’m having some focus issues today.

  Where was I? Oh yes. Let’s just leave that for next month, when we can celebrate Clarkesworld’s seventh anniversary, reminisce about where we’ve been, and speculate on where we’re going.

  About the Author

  Neil Clarke is the editor of Clarkesworld Magazine, owner of Wyrm Publishing and a 2013 Hugo Nominee for Best Editor (short form). He currently lives in NJ with his wife and two children.