The First 400 Days (Book 1): We Are What Remain

by Taja Kartio

  I rested my elbow on my pillow and laid my cheek on my open palm, "It was weird but... it was nice. I didn't know you had feelings."

  I grinned at the eye roll that comment received, "You're an asshole."

  "Thank you, though. For... you know, telling me that."

  Kale leaned his head back on the couch cushion, holding a soft semi-smile for a fraction of a second. I almost missed it, "You're still an asshole."

  I nodded once acceptingly, "I'll take it."

  A quietness followed for a long time. I waited for Kale to ask me what happened again but now he remained silent with his eyes on the ceiling. This time it was on me.

  Well... Screw it, right? Might as well spill out my guts.

  So I told him. I told him everything, and he didn't interrupt. No comments, no questions, no nothing. I watched him carefully as I explained the incident. There were crucial points where a pained expression grew on him, especially about bashing on the last Infected skull with the wood from the frame of the mirror I'd broken. I finished with finding him, Beckett, and Alex back at Holiday, and when I finished that, I decided to tell him about the nightmare. Again, there were no remarks. He just listened. And after I told everything that needed to be told, I didn't feel much different. I admitted it was nice telling Kale what had happened, but in a way, I felt that it was a bit useless. I thought that after all of Kales persistence and sweet talk that I would have some kind of heavy weight lifted off my shoulders and I would feel like a new person but instead, I thought I felt a little worse. Kale now knew everything and I was sure he would take it all to heart. He would blame himself and as he said earlier, he would feel worse. Overall, I was more upset that I told him then I think I would have felt if I hadn't ever told him.

  Kale didn't even say anything after I was done. He exhaled heavily a couple of times but other than that, he was speechless, so to say. I could see he was thinking hard about what I'd just told him but without a response, it was hard to tell what was going through his head.

  The only noise was the movie playing on the TV, but neither of us were really paying attention.

  Twenty One

  "Dani! Look! They left their PlayStation behind!" Alex was half deep in a closet underneath the stairs of the basement.

  "They did not," I dropped the random bottle opener I was holding by the bar and came up behind Alex at the entrance of the closet.

  "Look!" He held up an old black box and sure enough, the word PlayStation was written in blue lettering on the top.

  "Ancient," I breathed excitedly as he handed the surprisingly heavy console to me.

  "There's a whole box of games too," Alex lugged at an obviously heavy cardboard box, "Let's hook it up to the big screen."

  Alex and I were bored and the basement was a nice spread of space. The carpeting matched the dark walls and the tile flooring in the bar area. There was a dome hockey table and a pool table, and on the far side of the room, one of the walls had been painted white for the projector screen on the ceiling. On the wall of the closet Alex had opened up were a few old board game and few dozen more movies.

  I was fairly certain Alex and I would be spending quite a bit of time down here.

  "Do you know how to hook up a PlayStation?" I asked, setting the console on the couch as Alex set the big box down.

  "Uh, ya... At my house. I don't own a projector, though."

  "Can you try?"

  He gave me a look, "Well, of course I'm going to try. I want to play video games."

  Alex seemed more and more like an overgrown kid. He got giddy over the nerdiest things; books, comics, games, movies. He did look like the kind of guy, not to be stereotypical or anything, but I didn't realize he had an eight-year-old comic-con junkie living inside of him.

  I watched him untangle cords and game controllers. It was kind of weird that the house had something like this hiding in the back of a closet. It wasn't necessarily that the house was empty, it was just that there was nothing that we'd seen so far, other than the movies upstairs, that sparked our interest. We both knew that at some point in time, kids had grown up in this house. There were framed picture evidence on the walls but those kids must have grown up awhile ago as all the bedrooms were either empty or very dull like a guest bedroom would be. There were still plenty of sports equipment like items in the garage but we couldn't do much with them inside the house.

  "Can you try to turn on the projector?" Alex asked me.

  I did as he asked, standing on the back end of the large couch to reach the power button of the large white gadget on the ceiling. The bulb on the inside was dim at first but soon was bright and casted on the white wall with a blank blue screen. Alex started pressing buttons on the multiple remote controllers, finally able to change the input. HDMI 2 and there was a change in color, blue to black.

  Alex laughed excitedly, "I got it!" He slid across the floor to the cardboard box and started shuffling through the games.

  I jumped down from the couch, "What are you going to play?"

  "I don't know. There's so many! Spyro. Metal Gear. Crash Team Racing. Final Fantasy. There are even some Tomb Raider ones in here."

  I sat crisscrossed on the edge of the couch above him, "Play a Tomb Raider one for sure."

  He chuckled, taking a disc out of a case and sliding it into the PlayStation, "These are so old."

  I let him take the controller since the game was only made for one player and I watched. For a while, I totally forgot that we were in some kind of an end of the world catastrophe. It was nice to string up a conversation about something other than the Infected and what big city was currently being overrun.

  After some game time, I heard a voice behind me, "Those graphics suck."

  Alex huffed irritably at the comment, taking it as some sort of insult, "It came out like twenty years ago or something. It's not going to be as pretty as newer games."

  "Sassy," Kale snorted, "We're going out later to go find some supplies. Just an FYI."

  "Okay, boss."

  Beckett, who'd been standing beside Kale, watched as the eldest walked off back toward the stairs rumbling low mutters before looking at me and throwing his head toward the back of the room. An indication to come talk.

  "So... Kale told me what you told him this morning,"

  I nodded, waiting for him to say more.

  "I'm sure he tied you to a chair and made you tell him what was going on so I'm just wondering if you're okay?"

  That was one nice way to put it, "How much did he tell you?"

  The tip of Beckett's lip twitched, quirking for a second, "Enough."

  "He's not taking it well."

  My brother shook his head, "No. He's not."

  There was a brief silence before I looked up to see Beckett watching me carefully, "I'm okay."

  It took him a moment as he was still studying me. I was worried he would start some kind of interrogation of his own but he only nodded softly, "Okay."

  Twenty Two

  Beckett, who was sitting on the couch with his elbow rested on the armrest of the couch and his chin resting on his palm in an annoyed manner, sighed, "We already decided she's coming with, both for us and for her own reasons. Do we really have to go through all this again?"

  Kale slowed himself in an attempt to calm down but I wasn't sure that it worked so well, "Look. I just think this is a bad idea. She could get attacked, just like the last time! She could get hurt again! Or worse!"

  "You guys wanna stop referring to me in third person? I'm standing right here!" I threw arms up. He was talking about me like I wasn't in the same room as him, "Do you think I'm the only one who could get attacked? You think the Infected will run past all of you and go straight for me? You're not that damn special! And if I remember correctly, I took three of them out by myself. I'm perfectly capable of watching my own back for thirty seconds."

  Kale looked over at Beckett, probably in an attempt to ask for backup but he just casually shrugged, "She's got a point."<
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  I held a hand up in his general direction in a way that said, 'Thank you!'

  Kale huffed and turned his eyes back on me. He scanned me like he was trying to analyze every mangling way I could be torn apart and chomped on in every possible scenario. He was scared. I got that, and I honestly felt pity for him but at the same time, I really wanted to knee him straight in balls. He was by far, the most stubborn man I've ever known. And most annoying, might I add.

  "You stay by one of us the entire time. In a line of sight."

  I exhaled heavily, my head rolling backward, "You both say that every time we go somewhere. Not to mention that the last time you said that, you ended up telling me to go find Beckett and then Beckett told me to run away, so..."

  "She has a point," Beckett repeated himself in the same monotone voice as before.

  "Shut up," Kale said irritably. He then sighed defeatedly. I knew he was giving in for the second time, "I mean it. Stay in our line of sight. Got it?"

  I nodded, "Got it."

  "Then go get Alex."

  I didn't know why I was so jittery. My excitement rose as I ran down the steps all the to the basement where Alex now spent most of his time. He had another one of the Tomb Raider games playing on the big projector again and there was were three Mountain Dews next to him.

  "Alex!" I practically cried and the sudden shrill of my voice startled him so badly that the controller in his hands flew.

  "Jesus Dani! What are you doing?"

  "Apparently scaring the crap out of you,” I giggled.

  Alex's eyes narrowed, “That’s not funny.”

  “Well you’re no fun.”

  Alex stood to grab the controller that was lying a few feet away, “You know what else is no fun? A heart attack, which is what I’m going to have if you pop up like that again. What do you want?"

  "Remember that we were going to scope out the neighbor's houses for food and supplies?"

  Alex’s annoyed frown disappeared and was replaced with an amused smirk, "So you and Kale finally stopped fighting?"

  "It was a disagreement,” I corrected.

  Alex laughed, "Was it the same disagreement as last night?"

  "Yes," My muttered tone set off another short chuckle.

  My brothers were by the door off the downstairs living room that led off to the garage. Both had the same sports equipment that they'd taken from the garage the first day we came here. Kale with the metal baseball bat and Beckett with the golf club. The hockey stick Alex had was on the couch. I, once again, was weaponless.

  "What?" Kale asked when I gave him a look.

  "Can I have a bat or something this time?"

  It almost seemed like he was going to consider it when he didn't answer right away. His fingers flexed around the grip and he had started to raise his arm to hand his bat over to me but it didn't get too far. An alarming screech broke in the air.

  Another scream followed but this one didn't sound like it belonged to an Infected.

  "Outside," Beckett said quickly and darted for the window. The curtains were shut and I followed my brothers lead in taking the fabric and pushing it aside just enough to peek through.

  There was only one Infected. A ragged-looking woman who was yards behind another individual who was smaller in all aspects. A child and it was no Infected.

  I wasn't sure what I was thinking. One minute I was standing in the living room and the next, I was sprinting through the door with Alex's hockey stick. It all came down to a small defenseless kid against a beast. I didn't even remember hitting the Infected across the skull with the hockey stick. There was a thud against the pavement and bits of blood on the white tape on the sticks blade. Despite the hit, the Infected rose back to its feet easily and didn't sway a second before lunging in for a second attack. I luckily didn't have to worry about it. In that moment, Beckett and Alex forcefully pushed the Infected down by the throat with the golf club, the back of its head slamming against the pavement. It fingers clawed at the barred restrictment at its throat but couldn't lift it up in time for the hard down-swing Kale executed on its head. Metal against bone, the entire skull concaved in a gory shambles of blood and flesh.

  "Woah!" Alex said after a moment, "It's like we rehearsed that!"

  Beckett cringed at the mess in front of him and Kale completely ignored the comment. Instead, his dagger like eyes found me and his mouth opened, most likely to chew my ass out but then he stopped himself and his expression softened.

  A timid gasp behind me turned my gaze away from my brother and the body before us. A little boy. I couldn't pinpoint an exact age but he had to have been between seven and ten years old. The terrified expression on his innocent little face was heartbreaking, especially as he stared at the Infected lying in a motionless heap not five feet away from him. His eyes then stared up at me with a look I could only place as fear and I watched as his nimble fingers tightly curled around the stuffed lion he clutched close to him.

  I held the hockey stick back and felt it get taken away from me before I dangled one arm at my side and used my opposite to raise up in a way that showed I meant no harm. Swallowing hard, I attempted a smile, "It's alright. We won't hurt you," My voice made him flinch, so I paused for a second before continuing, "My name is Dani. What's yours?"

  The little boy's face seemed to soften slightly and his stricken posture appeared to relax, if only an inch. His fingers remained to hold onto the stuffed lion securely, though he eyed me with hesitation as he processed my words. I, along with the spectators behind me, waited patiently for an answer and when he did, I had to strain to hear his soft and timid voice,

  "Hayden."

  Twenty Three

  He was reluctant at first, but I was able to convince Hayden to follow Alex, my brothers, and I into the house. He kept to himself for the journey, hugging the stuffed lion close to his chest with so much pressure that the lion's head looked like it was about to burst.

  As we walked through the garage, Kale pulled me aside, "Happy now?"

  "What are you talking about?"

  "Putting yourself in danger like that. What were you thinking?"

  That was a rather astonishing question, "I was thinking that there was a tiny kid who needed help because if we hadn't, he'd be torn apart right now."

  "We didn't need to help him!" He whispered angrily, "We don’t know him!”

  “He’s a kid Kale!”

  I would have hoped Beckett and Alex had brought Hayden inside the house but it was only when I heard a noise that sounded something like a whimper, that I knew that Hayden was still close by. I looked downwards toward the small figure and sure enough, tears ran down his cheeks. I glanced back at my brother and elbowed him in the side before kneeling down in front of Hayden.

  "Hey, don't cry," I urged, "You're okay."

  He didn't say anything, only clutched the lion tighter to himself. I looked him over from the position I was at, wondering if he was hurt in any way but all I could really tell was the exhaustion that was coated in his sickly pale skin. I watched his bottom lip quiver as he tried to contain himself from crying even more. I wasn't really sure how to go about stopping him. He was obviously scared, maybe more so of the hostility he just witnessed before him rather than the fear of being chased by an Infected not five minutes ago.

  "Let's go inside,” I wasn't sure if holding out my hand would do any good. It was certainly dancing on the boundaries of how much trust I had already gained with this young one. His fingers were trembling but after a few moments, I noticed how he unlatched one hand from his lion and clasped his little fingers around mine. I broke a weak smile and stood to lead him inside.

  Passing by Beckett in the doorway, I muttered that I was going to bring him into the kitchen to find him something to eat and I wanted only him to follow. Alex looked a bit uncomfortable around the boy's water works and Kale had already made a bad impression.

  He sat at the counter quietly and I let go of his hand to find something in the many
plastic bags on the table. Beckett rummaged through the fridge and cupboards. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Hayden watching me uneasily. After rummaging through the bags, I found a box of dinosaur shaped fruit snacks. I brought the box back to the counter and opened it, holding a package out to Hayden. He eyed it carefully but didn't make an effort to take them. I could tell he wanted them but it looked he was resisting by better nature.

  "I'm sorry about my brother Kale. He's kind of stressed right now, but I swear he's not like that all the time. He's a real softy on the inside. Just like your lion."

  A soft smile lit on Hayden's lips as he looked down at his stuffed lion. After that, his delicate fingers reached for the fruit snacks.

  I was really unsure what to say next and with a glance at my brother, I knew he was in the same position. It was a strange situation and there were so many questions I wanted to ask. Where did he come from? Did he live around here? Who was he with before? Why is he alone? How did he become alone?

  "I want my momma," His small voice said suddenly, then sniffed loudly. His blue eyes were beginning to well up again, "She said to run away because of the monster. I don't know where she is now."

  I felt so helpless, "It's alright. You're safe now and that's all that matters."

  Hayden didn't make any acknowledgment that could have been an answer or that he even heard what I'd said at all. By the look on his face, I could see something was going through his mind. His mother. The monster. Probably both. His body trembled lightly.

  "Hayden," Beckett spoke up softly. The new voice broke the boy from his trance, "My name is Beckett. I'm one of Dani's brothers. There's a bed upstairs if you want to try to get some sleep?"

  Hayden's eyes went wide, "But-"

  "You look super sleepy Hayden and you'll feel a lot better after some rest," I said, "You can tell us everything tomorrow morning."

  He opened his mouth to protest but seemed to stop himself. There was tiredness in his expression and I knew he was beginning to accept it. I held my hand out to him again and he took my hand without question this time, quietly following me upstairs. I felt that if he took one of the spare bedrooms off the upstairs landing, no one would be too upset. He could have the room across from Alex. It was beside the bathroom and close by where I would sleeping with Kale and Beckett.