by J. Naomi Ay
"I can afford it," Lester insisted. "It's not like I've got anything else to do with the money, now is it?"
"I think it's a good idea," Janet called. "Why is she still so blonde? Shouldn't her hairdressers tell her it doesn't look good on a woman her age? I let my hair gray out a decade ago."
"I think I'll come," Lester decided and rose to head back home. "Who knows, I may die the week after we're there. I want one last chance to visit the planet of my birth."
No, no, no! Jerry screamed inside although to Les he just smiled and said, "Great."
"I'm not going to watch this," Janet snapped, changing the channel in her room. "She still makes me sick, just like she always did. I rather tune into Dancing with Guns or Dr. Felix. This week he is discussing tooth extraction. That could be interesting. I almost went to Dental School instead of Nursing. Boy, my life sure would have turned out different if I had."
"Is that show on now?" Gladys yelled from the neighboring porch. "That's absolutely my favorite show."
"The Dancing Guns or Dr. Felix?" Les asked. "Personally, I prefer the big guns, especially that Winchester, hubba hubba. Is it built or what?"
"I like Dr. Felix, but if you come over here, Lester, I'll turn on whatever you like."
"Go on." Jerry urged Les out the door. "You never know, you just might get lucky with Gladys."
"Being with Gladys wouldn't be so lucky." Les shuffled home. "It'd be more like a death sentence without the perks. I'm going to go buy my ticket to Earth. You and me, Jer, are going to have a great time."
"Awesome," Jerry mumbled, anticipating endless discussions of shoes and how different soles affected one's posture.
"I'm glad he's going with you," Janet said when the game was in a time out, and Jerry got up to fetch a beer from the fridge. Dr. Felix was also on commercial break, so Janet was cleaning the toilets.
"Didn't you just do that yesterday?"
"Yes, but you used it seven times since then."
"Right," Jerry agreed. "Seven times." Traveling with Lester wouldn't be fun, but, on the other hand, it couldn't be any worse than staying home and watching Janet obsess.
Chapter 2
Rent Golden liked being a Mechanical Engineer. He also liked calling himself Rent Golden instead of his real name which was Rent de Kudisha. Actually, that wasn't his real name either. His real name was Revak de Kudisha which was Karupta, but Rent wasn't entirely sure how to pronounce that, so he continued to call himself just Rent.
Rent went to work every day at SdK Aerospace in New Mishnah. He had his own desk inside a cubical which he shared with two other guys and a girl. Rent had a chair. That was really nice. Back when he worked at the Spaceway Inn Motel on Darius VI, he had to stand all the time behind a counter. Sometimes, when his feet really hurt, he was allowed to sit on a stool. There was one chair there, which everyone shared, but it could only be used during break time.
Here at SdK Aerospace, it was the opposite. Everyone sat during work on their own personal chairs, and then, at break time, they all jumped up and went to stand outside. Usually, they smoked cigarettes when they stood there. Since Rent didn't smoke, he just stood there doing nothing. He'd listen to his coworkers' chatter, and he'd study the sky, or if the weather was nice, he'd walk around the campus a little.
Rent liked to poke his head in the factory door and watch the spaceplanes being built. He had to be careful not to dawdle too long as break time was only fifteen minutes. Rent could easily spend an hour staring up at an unfinished spaceplane skeleton and not realize that time had passed. When he eventually returned to his cubical and desk, he might be a full ninety minutes late which meant he'd have demerits on his record, as well as have to stay late once again after work.
Sometimes, people who didn't know him would stop and say something like, "Hey, did you know, you look just like the Imperial Prince?"
Rent would nod and say something like, "Yeah, people always tell me that. They also think I look like that guy who hosts that game show on the vid which takes place on that island."
Then, usually, the people would slap their heads and say something like, "You're right," at which point Rent would politely smile and nod as he backed away.
Nobody at SdK Aerospace except the big boss, Jimmy Mattson knew who Rent really was. Rent liked it that way. When he first came to Mishnah, when he first found out who he really was, the Palace had made a big announcement, and Rent had given an interview to the press with his mom. He hated that. His tongue got totally tied up in his mouth, and when he was supposed to speak, to say something about how happy he was to be reunited with his family, he started choking. In fact, he choked so bad, his mom had to pound him on the back to get him to stop. In addition, Rent's face had turned bright red, all the way up to the tips of his ears. At that point, his mom made them quickly end the presser and Rent vowed never to do another again as long as he lived. Or longer, if that's what it took.
Rent lived in the Palace of Mishnah. In fact, he lived in the Big House, three doors down from his parents and next to his brother's and niece's suites. Nobody at work knew that though. When they asked him where he lived, Rent told them he had an apartment in Old Mishnah, which technically wasn't a lie.
"Old Mishnah," they'd say, very impressed.
Old Mishnah was the high rent district which didn't mean there were more Rents there, but rather, it cost more. All the old buildings had been renovated, and there were tons of fancy shops and restaurants. Supposedly, the nightlife was better than most of New Mishnah although Rent didn't know because he never went out at night.
Rent's coworkers usually wondered how a guy like Rent, still working on his college degree, could afford such a place on his SdK salary.
"Inheritance," he'd mumble. "Mom, Dad, you know." Hopefully, they'd leave him alone after that. Rent didn't want to talk about his family so if anyone ever asked, he'd make a sad face and shake his head. That usually scared them enough not to prod further.
The only picture he had on his desk was of his niece, Sara. It was her official portrait and Rent thought she looked like the perfect princess. It was okay to have Princess Sara on his desk. In fact, a lot of people did. It was like putting up a pic of your favorite movie star, or the Emperor and Empress.
Once Rent walked by a woman's desk where he saw a pic of himself and his brother thumb-tacked to the carpet covered, foam, cubical wall. It was the pic made right after Steve came back from his exile. The two of them were standing next to each other in the Crystal Ballroom looking like complete fools. For some reason, a lot of women liked it though. After it was published, Rent got a note from his ex-wife, Alyssa. All it said was, "Your brother is better looking."
Every night after work, Rent took the bus home to the Palace. He had never like driving much, especially since that speeder accident when he was seventeen. At the time, he was using an old beater of his foster-father's which unbeknownst to Rent had a broken master cylinder in the braking system. While landing outside of a former girlfriend's house, Rent had gently touched the brakes to bring the craft to a complete stop when nothing happened. Rent and his speeder went crashing into the girlfriend's father's speeder, the neighbor's speeder and three others parked along the street. Although Rent was not physically hurt, his psyche and his wallet were, at the time, inexorably damaged and so Rent vowed never to drive again.
There was nothing wrong with the public transit. In fact, the bus service was quite nice. SdK paid for his monthly pass, and he could pick up the evening Old Mishnah Express in front of the campus gates. Rent would take a window seat and gaze outside at the old and new cities as they soared across the landscape, the two moons rising off in the distance.
Rent's stop was at the base of the hill on the outskirts of the old city which was the last one before the bus turned around and headed back to base. Rent could have taken the Palace Hill Express instead, and early on he did until some maids accused him of being his brother, and later himself, at which point Rent decided it was b
etter to walk the extra two miles up the hill.
Sometimes on his way home, Rent would stop and pick up his dinner. Although the Palace restaurants and catering department were always at his disposal, Rent enjoyed common fast food. Often, he would pick up a Gleeful Meal for his niece, Sara, who also preferred greasy fries and mystery meat nuggets in a paper bag over the gourmet creations presented to them on gold and silver trays.
When Rent's brother returned from his banishment to the outer banks of the Empire, he liked to take both Sara and Rent on wild excursions at night. Shika, or Steve, as he preferred to be called, knew all the best places for late-night sushi and half-priced dim sum, as well as comedy clubs and Sim Game arcades where they could play for hours on just one coin.
Katie often got upset that the brothers were keeping twelve year old Sara out late.
"I'm her father, I'll decide," Steve reminded his mother, which to everyone, including Steve, still sounded like a joke. Never the less, both Rent and Sara enjoyed these outings immensely, so Katie stopped complaining and decided perhaps, it was actually a good thing that was helping her children and grandchild to bond.
Bonding was important to Katie for she was exceedingly concerned that her husband was far too distant and insensitive to their kids. While Senya had never been an exuberant fellow by any means, his disappointment with Steve and his genuine bafflement at Rent's existence, as well as his long term employment as the Emperor of All Rehnor kept him emotionally remote from everyone but her. Sara had managed to penetrate his icy defenses only slightly, occasionally approaching to peck him lightly upon the cheek, an action which left him confused and somewhat befuddled.
"I think we should go on vacation," Katie announced one morning.
Senya was lying in bed inventorying his aches and pains. If he moved to the right, his reconstructed left femur throbbed. If he moved to the left, his damaged right clavicle twinged. If he lay perfectly straight, his thoracolumbar fascia muscles spasmed, although he couldn't recall when or if he had ever injured them.
"Why don't we go to Rozari?" His wife continued, her head lying within the crook of his arm. "We could stay at our house and bring all the kids along. It would be a good family bonding time. Rent and Sara would get a chance to enjoy the estate. We won't bring any staff or retainers. We'll make it a real vacation just for ourselves. What do you think? Will you consider it?"
Senya didn't respond as his right infra-spinatus muscle was now smarting due to the pressure of his wife's occipital bone on his arm.
"Will you go?" Now, she turned and touched him with her hand, coaxing him to do her will in the manner she had used since time began. Fortunately for both of them, that bone still worked well and without pain.
"Why must you do this to me?" Senya groaned. "You give me an ultimatum and make it impossible for me to say no."
"Oh, good!" Katie cried. "It's just what we all need to do. We'll have a wonderful time. I can't wait."
Senya could wait. In fact, he would have preferred to wait for at least another century or so. However, he was now quite distracted, and didn't bother to inform his wife that her vacation plans would never turn out quite as well as she had hoped.
Later, when Senya had time to reflect on the upcoming venture, he considered that traveling to the Planet Rozari might not be half bad. He could do a little hunting and enjoy some sporting games, whilst not having to dress every day for the office. He could don his informal clothes, and forgo wearing shoes, as no matter what, they always hurt his feet, especially those black leather Oxfords with the narrow toes.
Of course, he'd still have to do a bit of work. Running an empire required checking in every day. There were always decisions to be made, and an ass or two to threaten with extinction. In fact, there were several asses right now who required his attention, which, unfortunately, had been neglected due to more urgent Imperial business. On top of that, his multi-tasking abilities had faded a bit as he advanced into his senior years. Unfortunately, these asses, especially that Andorian one, had slipped his mind or been back-burnered whilst other matters took precedence.
Now, Senya became mildly enthusiastic, imagining all the fun he might have on this trip. He could make his wife happy by attempting to bond with his collection of odd descendants, and take care of all this business which had been postponed.
Chapter 3
When Thad Mattson, Duke of Kalika-hahr received a notice of an imminent communique from the Imperial Palace, his initial response was to panic. Thad had been reclining in a chaise next to his pool at his estate, just outside of his ducal city on Rozari, with a woman younger than his daughter, Gwen. Thad wasn't having an affair with this woman, at least not yet. This was more like an audition for the position of Thad's latest fling.
The woman had successfully passed the initial stages of said audition and was now competing in the swimming suit event. Thad was pleased with her performance, the white bikini which she wore, and the fact that she was willing to dive into the pool and emerge from the water appropriately wet.
"Lovely," Thad commented while raising his glass of Arizona Ice Tea, a relic of his youth in the aforementioned state. "Why don't you demonstrate your back stroke again?"
Compliantly, the girl paddled the full length of the pool, her long languid strokes ensuring a high score for this event. Thad drank his tea, wishing only a little bit that it could have been spiked while tallying up points for the girl.
Thad had been off the sauce for thirty-six months, three weeks, four days and two hours, not that anyone was counting. He had also been divorced from his second wife, Gina Gibson for nearly the same amount of time.
Gina had been expensive. Having been the Duchess of Kalika-hahr for several years, she was entitled to a massive alimony which included half of his estate. As neither Thad nor Gina were willing to give up the manor house, which they had built together shortly after Thad had been Imperially Upped, their choice was either to raze it completely, or divide it into two sections for each to live.
They chose to split it in half, Gina residing in one side, while Thad lived alone in the other. Like an attached duplex, they had a fence separating their two yards, each with their own swimming pool, gardens and barbeques.
Inside, on each half, the rooms were duplicated entirely, although like most duplexes, they were repeated in reverse. This meant that the master bedrooms backed up to one another and shared a common wall, fully insulated. However, the insulation was far from perfect.
Whenever Thad was auditioning a potential girlfriend, during stage four of his selection process, it took place in the bedroom which allowed Gina to hear everything whether she wanted to or not. Initially, Gina shouted, her voice usually unheard as it never reached the volume or pitch of the candidate. She was then forced to interrupt by using other means such as banging her shoes, pots or pans against the wall.
Thad and Gina did their best not to interact, other than through the walls or their attorneys. There was only one occasion where they were forced to meet each week, and that was the Friends of Bill W. meeting on Thursday night.
When Thad stood up and proclaimed, "I'm an alcoholic," it was usually followed by Gina yelling, "You're also a fucking dickhead."
When it was Gina's turn to stand and declare the same affliction, it was usually prompted Thad to yell, "You’re a stupid cunt."
Inevitably, the competing Duke and Duchess of Kalika-hahr were both tossed out of the meeting altogether. However, they were encouraged to return the following week, leaving their anger and hate at home which somehow, they never were able to do.
Back at the pool, on his side of the manor, Thad grew alarmed at the impending Palace missive, especially after what had happened to his old friend, Berkan. Knowing that he was an embarrassment to the Empire, but unable to stop or control his actions, Thad grew certain that his turn was next.
It was commonly known that Berkan's wife, Luci had placed the shot which put a bullet in the center of Berkan's brain. Since then,
Luci had been residing in a facility that was fully staffed by doctors and nurses, and living on a regime of soft foods and anti-psychotic drugs. Some days, Luci was perfectly lucid, and happy to chat about old times with her beloved, Berkie. Other days, she could do nothing but mumble about some guy named Vinz, dry tea biscuits, and her wicked baby sister, Baby.
Thad had a theory, and he was certain he was correct from having known Sehron de Kudisha as long as he had. While Luci's hand had been on the gun and her brain temporarily insane, it was the Emperor who had effectively pulled the trigger. Berkan had disobeyed the Imperial Command and had schemed against the Emperor's will, which doomed the then Duke of Korelesk in more ways than one.
"He can do that, you know," Thad had told many a shrink while receiving personal counseling for his addictions. "He can get in your head and make you do what he wants, and he doesn't have to be anywhere near you to have control. He could make me kill myself. He could make me kill Gina. If he wanted to, he could make me jump up and kill you right now."
"Now, who is this again?" The doctor invariably asked while Thad stared at the ceiling, finding all sorts of horrific images in the shadows and plaster cracks.
"The Emperor," Thad insisted. "Ron. Ron de Kudisha. He can manipulate all of us like a puppet master pulling strings."
At that point, Thad was usually prescribed more medication to control his demented notions and paranoid delusional thoughts. Despite that lack of belief on the part of everyone but him, Thad knew it was all undeniably true. He also knew that the clock was ticking louder, and the moment approaching when it would be his turn to be taken out.
"Duke!" The girl called. "Watch my backflip into the pool."
Thad blinked his eyes in the bright sunlight, and realized he had only a little time left.
