She's No Angel

by Janine A. Morris

  “Whatever, hooker. I just don’t like that song.”

  “I love it,” Paige replied.

  They both sat in silence for a minute watching the half-naked girls shaking their butts and tatas all over the screen, while Ludacris just stood there getting groped and caressed by them.

  “I would die for her body,” Paige said as this one girl strutted across the screen wearing nothing but two strings.

  “Yeah, she does have a nice body. But we both know that won’t get you but so far.”

  “I know, but it definitely gets you further than most.”

  Once again, they both started laughing. It had been a while since the two of them had spent this type of time together. Neither of them rushing to be somewhere, no one else around, no purpose to their meeting, just the two of them hanging out chilling. Charlene needed this, and she was kind of happy that Paige did take her chances and stopped by.

  There was a time—for several years, actually—that there was tension between Charlene and Paige. Charlene felt angry at Paige for not being there when she needed her most, and Paige felt guilty about abandoning Charlene. There was a point where Paige was embarrassed by Charlene and her reputation in the neighborhood, and she didn’t hesitate to let Charlene know. It made it even worse that their strict mother turned them against each other so many times. As time went on, those issues settled. Still, it took years for them to mature to see that all of that was no reason to keep them from loving each other the way they should. So, year after year they got better and better at being good sisters to one another.

  As Charlene and Paige sat sprawled out on the couches in Charlene’s living room, they laughed and talked. They watched all their favorites, some Flavor of Love reruns and an MTV Cribs episode or two. They watched television so late that Charlene never did wash her hair and she never did call Isaac back.

  Chapter 18

  The night with Paige left Charlene feeling refreshed and positive the next morning. She had needed that night to get her mind off of everything. When Charlene showed up to work the next day she was just as jolly as she wanted to be. Of course, most people would think that she had gotten some good stuff the night before, but that was far from it. She had just gotten a dose of therapy.

  Once she sat down at her desk, as usual she checked her messages and e-mails. She had a message from Isaac.

  “Hey, this is Isaac ... What happened to you last night? I ended up falling asleep pretty early, but I thought you would call me back. Call me when you get this, I had to ask you a question.”

  Oh, boy, Charlene thought to herself. Another question.

  Charlene continued getting settled at work. As she moved some paperwork from one in-box to another she couldn’t help but think about what it was Isaac wanted to ask her. As usual she didn’t call him back right away, she wasn’t that eager to find out. Whenever Charlene could get a chance to prepare herself for what she might need to say, she took advantage of it. Whether it was the time before they called one another back, or while she waited on hold because he got another call, or telling him to hold on so she could buy time—Charlene sometimes needed to think before she spoke. She learned the hard way that freestyling could lead to getting caught saying something contradictory.

  Charlene had finally decided that whatever the question was, if it related to this pregnancy thing she was sticking to her story and saying she didn’t know all of the medical facts behind it. She was hoping it wasn’t anything else. She had no idea of what else it could be, unless Isaac had found out about the ride home with Rich the previous week after she had told him she hadn’t seen Rich in months. She didn’t know what it was, but from the sound of his tone on the message, it didn’t sound like a frivolous question. After she gathered her thoughts, she went ahead and called her fiancé.

  “Hello?” Isaac answered.

  “Hey, babe, good morning,” Charlene replied.

  “Hey, sweetie. What happened to you last night?” he asked.

  “Paige stopped by, and we were talking for hours ... It got so late by the time she left I just went to sleep.”

  “I thought you were going to call me,” he said.

  “I was, babe, but I figured you were asleep because you didn’t call me, either,” she replied.

  “All right ... Well, no big deal ... I was just making sure you were OK.”

  “I’m fine; I actually really enjoyed Paige last night.”

  “Did you tell her?”

  “Tell her what?”

  “About what the doctor told you,” he asked.

  “Yes, I had told her before. She came with me to the doctor, so I told her the results as I found out.”

  “Why did she come with you?”

  “Just to come with me.”

  “That was nice, I guess, I never knew girls needed company to go to those doctors for regular checkups.”

  “I didn’t need her to come, she just did.”

  “Mmm. OK ... Anyway, speaking of the appointment, I wanted to ask you ... Why did the doctor check to see if you are fertile?”

  “What do you mean why?”

  “Why? Did you request her to check that?”

  “No ... Why do you ask me that?”

  “From what I understand, doctors don’t just test that. You have to ask to be tested for that, and even then, they won’t test you until you’re trying and you’ve tried the other normal practices. The only way they will do it otherwise is if the patient has some unusual circumstances.”

  “I don’t know about all of that. I just know she told me that,” Charlene said with a slight attitude.

  Charlene had been caught off guard. It seemed as if Isaac had been doing his research. She wanted to just say, “well, that’s not the way my doctor does it,” but she wasn’t sure where he got that information. What if Isaac called her doctor’s office and got that straight from them? Of course it could have been just some general information he heard, but she didn’t want to risk it. He was clearly in an investigative mode, trying to see if he could catch her in a lie. It was obvious, since he had a new question just that fast from last night and he was waiting for her answers before he would tell her why he was asking. Charlene was no fool; she wasn’t going to fall into his trap that easily.

  “So, she just told you ... Did she even tell you she was testing for that?”

  “She told me she was going to run some tests, and she was going to check everything out and make sure I was healthy.”

  “Mmm ... That’s interesting. They don’t usually do that.”

  Charlene was annoyed by Isaac’s little interrogation. Maybe she was wrong to be, since she should have been feeling guilty about her lies. Why was he doing research? Checking to see if she was telling the truth? Charlene thought to herself. She wasn’t feeling his research findings one bit.

  Finally fed up with him acting like he knew everything, she asked, “How do you know?”

  “I just do ... Some people who know told me.”

  “Why are you going around asking people about my body?”

  “I didn’t. I only asked one person, because I was concerned about you ... And then when I heard that I was even more concerned.”

  “I thought you said we would be fine.”

  “We will... I just wanted to make sure you would be fine.”

  “Well, no one else can tell you that information but me.”

  Isaac could tell that Charlene wasn’t too happy with his questions.

  Charlene meant what she said but she also knew it was a good way to turn things back in her favor.

  “I’m sorry, baby. You’re right. Only you and your doctor really know, anyway.”

  “It’s OK.”

  “Well, I want you to hang up with me and call your doctor and make a follow-up appointment for as soon as possible, and I want to go with you.”

  “Why?”

  “You need a follow-up anyway, and I want to ask her some questions.”

  “My follow-up is
supposed to be in six months.”

  “OK, well then, call her on three-way, then, I can ask my questions over the phone.”

  Charlene couldn’t tell if Isaac wanted her to know that there was something he didn’t believe, or that he wasn’t letting up on this.

  “What do you have to ask her, Isaac?” Charlene asked, unable to hide the frustration in her voice.

  “Just some stuff ... Like what we need to do to be successful, is there anything we can do to fix the problem, what caused it, etc.”

  “I can ask her that stuff myself, and tell you what she said.”

  “No, I’d rather talk to her. This may be an ongoing issue we have and I would feel better feeling her out and building a relationship with the doctor that will have the fate of my family in her hands.”

  Damn, how was Charlene to argue with that? He had stumped her and now she didn’t know what to say. She had to admit, Isaac did have some right to be involved with this if she was going to be his wife and hopefully mother of his children.

  “OK, Isaac. I will call her today and set an earlier appointment.”

  They spoke a tad more and then he told her to call the doctor when they hung up.

  Charlene sat there confused about how to handle this. She didn’t know if she should go through the motions of pretending to make the appointment, or find reasons to miss the appointment, or go ahead and try to stop the whole charade before it got any worse. She was trying her best to get back to her work, but she couldn’t help thinking about what had just happened with Isaac. It played back in her head. “ ... I would feel better feeling her out and building a relationship with the doctor that will have the fate of my family in her hands.” She felt like she was being punked, she couldn’t believe he was really taking it there. She did know that the next time she spoke to Isaac he would ask about it, so she had better figure out a plan before that time came.

  Chapter 19

  She had just walked out of her office door and before she could even hit the pavement, she got her cell phone out of her bag. She had noticed right before she signed off her computer that she had missed a call from Paige, and she really wanted to talk to her. She was dying to ask her what she thought she should do about Isaac’s request, but she had been so busy at work she hadn’t gotten a chance to call her earlier in the day. She immediately dialed Paige’s number and waited for her to answer. She continued down the block toward her car as Paige’s phone rang and she waited to hear her perky voice on the other end. She was looking for her maroon Altima in the midst of all the cars parked in the lot.

  Five rings later, there was her perky voice, but on a recording. Charlene left a quick but urgent-sounding message and hung up. By this point she had already reached her car, had keyed in and had put down her bags in the passenger seat. She sat there for a moment to put her hands-free earpiece in before she pulled off, and as she fumbled with it and the phone, her cell phone began to ring. She became excited because she was all ready to spend her drive home talking on the phone, getting some insight from Paige. When she turned to glance at the caller ID, it was Jasmine. She was a bit disappointed that it wasn’t Paige, but then she realized that Jasmine was the next best thing. Jasmine might have been the best thing if she had known about the whole story with the abortion years ago, but there wasn’t but so much Charlene could explain without sharing her secret with her, too, after all these years. Jasmine and Charlene had become friends about two years after it happened, and Charlene had never told her. Now, Jasmine knew that Charlene was no angel growing up; hell, Jasmine ran with her all through high school. Still, regardless of all she did know, which was a lot, she didn’t know about this little secret, and that was what Charlene really needed some advice on. But Charlene figured she would just get creative, she needed to talk.

  “Hey, girl,” Charlene answered her phone.

  “Hey, miss, what’s up with you?”

  “Just getting off work, what about you?”

  “I was off today, had to run some errands and stuff.”

  “That’s cool, I can use a day off myself.”

  “I feel you, this day went by so fast I need another one already,” Jasmine said, laughing.

  “Yeah, I can use one just to sit back and relax, and clear all of my thoughts,” Charlene replied.

  “How’s everything going? You started planning the wedding yet?”

  “Slightly. By the way, you know you’re in it, right?” Charlene asked playfully.

  “I better be,” Jasmine replied. “You need help with anything?” she continued.

  “Well, for now, I can just use your help on how to stay engaged and then we can address the wedding,” Charlene said.

  Through her laughter, Jasmine responded, “What happened?”

  “Well, let’s just say he is asking a lot of questions, and they’re questions I don’t think if he knew the answers to he would be too happy.”

  “Why he asking questions all of a sudden?”

  “I don’t know, I guess he is just being curious, and I have kept certain sensitive information from him this long, I don’t think this would be a good time to tell him.”

  “I would think not, too. Big arguments and revealing new information should be forbidden during engagements. These men don’t need much of an excuse to back out of the commitment,” Jasmine said with a chuckle.

  “So you think I should continue to keep some things from him?”

  “For now, you had a story, now stick to it.”

  “Yeah, but I’m afraid that as he asks questions, the more I try to keep up with the story the more he is going to dig, and the worst it might be in the end.”

  “How much can he dig? It’s in your past, what is he going to do? Go interview people from your high school and neighborhood or something?” Jasmine asked, laughing at the thought of Isaac out around town like a detective.

  “I guess you’re right, all he has is my word,” Charlene replied, not joining in on the laughter.

  “That’s right. Don’t go ruining that now by letting him know that your word hasn’t been that great all this time ... Just ride it out, you’ll be down the aisle soon.”

  As much as Charlene knew what Jasmine was saying was kind of foul, it did make sense. Of course, in a perfect world you should go into a marriage completely open and honest. The problem was, in the real world that same honesty can cause a couple not to go into marriage at all. It’s like when a bride or groom go too far at the bachelor or bachelorette party, do you wake up the next morning and confess? Do you just walk up to your partner on the morning of your wedding and tell them that you have slept with some stripper or some random guy? If so, then that wedding might not take place, and if it does, it wouldn’t be quite as romantic as planned. Then you have the option of keeping that secret to yourself. It was a mistake, and your partner knowing can’t take it back even if he truly wanted to. It would only make the situation worse, not better. Without that information being shared, the wedding can go as planned and it can be the fairy-tale event everyone wanted.

  So, the logical thing seems to be to keep those secrets to yourself. It’s not always a sneaky or deceitful thing, sometimes it’s in the best interest of the relationship. Jasmine had helped Charlene realize just what she meant, and Charlene knew that this was definitely one of those instances. She was only trying to keep Isaac in love with the woman she was, and not turned off by the woman she once was. Charlene knew it was best. Some people ask for honesty, but they are not really ready to handle the truth.

  After Jasmine helped Charlene decide that she wasn’t ready to risk her engagement, she went ahead and wrapped up the phone call. Before Charlene and Jasmine hung up the phone, they said one of them would call the other back after they got settled at home.

  Charlene walked in and went straight for the kitchen. All day she had her mind on the Oreo cookies that were on top of her refrigerator. She grabbed them and opened the refrigerator door to get the milk. As she poured herself a tall
glass to accompany her evening snack, she gazed at a picture of her and Isaac on her refrigerator. It made her smile and feel a sense of joy. The picture was from when they went to Ocean City, Maryland, for a little weekend getaway one summer. A man came around taking pictures on the beach and had them strike some really funny poses, and the cutest one she put up on the fridge. She continued looking at it with a smile on her face until she put the milk back and walked away from the kitchen.

  Looking at the picture made her feel confused. On the one hand she was with a great man who most women would die for, but on the other she was with a man she was so afraid to expose her entire history to. She didn’t even know who to blame for that anymore. All she knew was that it was a problem, and she didn’t know if it was about to spiral out of control. One thing she was learning the hard way was that dishonesty can be a deadly disease. It can start out as a small infection, but slowly it spreads and spreads and before you know it there is no cure.

  Just as she lay down on the couch Charlene’s thoughts were interrupted by a phone call. She thought it might be Paige, so she hurried to the phone and answered.

  “Hello,” Charlene said in an upbeat voice.

  “Slut,” the female voice said.

  “What?” Charlene responded.

  Click. The person hung up.

  Charlene was pissed for about ten seconds. She looked at the caller ID, the call had come from a blocked number. Charlene couldn’t recognize the voice but it might have been Takesha. This wasn’t the first time Charlene had to deal with stupidity like this, so it could have been any number of people. She always assumed it was a female from her past who had never gotten over that Charlene had taken their man. Still, she couldn’t wait until there were no more remnants of those days, because the calling-and-hanging-up game was so high school.

  Charlene decided to put the ignorant call out of her mind. She lay back down on the couch and started surfing the television channels. After she flicked through about three, the phone rang again. This time Charlene looked at the caller ID before picking up and saw it was a blocked number again. Charlene was tempted to answer and start breaking but instead she let it go to her answering machine. She wasn’t in the mood today, not at all.