She's No Angel

by Janine A. Morris

  Charlene continued to watch the young girl and guy, intrigued and almost mesmerized by their mannerisms and behavior. Once Charlene realized how rude she was by staring at them, she looked away. She looked back one more time when she heard the girl giggle again; he had put his hand in her back pocket to cup her behind. Charlene looked the girl dead in her face and she realized that she knew the young lady. She knew her very well. She was Charlene when she was younger. She could tell from the looks on the girl’s face that she welcomed every bit of the attention and actually felt quite special that this young man was spending time with her. She knew that this girl couldn’t tell that all the groping and fondling this guy was doing to her in the store wasn’t only an inability to control his attraction to her, but also his lack of respect for her. She was just a piece of ass to him, and didn’t care whether anyone around knew that. She, on the other hand, was on cloud nine; young and clueless. Charlene felt sorry for her, deeply sorry for her. The way she had felt for herself the day she finally got a clue. It’s almost easier to live in the dark than to face reality when you’re in those shoes. It’s an embarrassing truth.

  Charlene finally managed to pull herself away from the spectacle they were making of themselves and leave the aisle. In the back of her mind she was hoping this girl would figure out what she was doing wrong. Charlene wanted to tell her but knew that the young lady would say something rude and obscene in response, so Charlene decided to mind her business. As Charlene finished gathering her things she could hear the girl from time to time, giggling in some other aisle.

  Approximately ten minutes later Charlene advanced to the checkout lane with about two hundred dollars’ worth of groceries. She waited for the customer in front of her to begin to pay for her items before she started unloading her cart. Frozen dinners, milk, orange juice, butter ... Charlene was placing each item on the counter, trying to make sure she didn’t forget anything at the same time. The sound of laughter broke her concentration. She looked over her shoulder and the young Charlene and the guy were standing on line behind her. Not wanting to be rude and stare or look sympathetic, Charlene quickly turned back around to finish. She glanced back at the young lady once or twice as she waited for her groceries to be rung up and bagged.

  Just as Charlene went to pull out her money, the young lady placed the whipping cream and some chocolate sauce on the counter. As the young grocery clerk bagged the last of her groceries, Charlene took a pen and wrote on the back of the receipt the cashier had just handed her. She waited for the boy to finish loading the cart, and before she left she folded the receipt and turned to hand the note to the girl.

  While Charlene walked away the girl looked down at the paper in her hand. Initially the girl looked confused, but she discreetly opened the paper and began to read it. The note read:

  If you don’t respect yourself, these boys never will. Take it from me.

  Charlene looked back and saw the girl reading it. Just as the girl finished she looked up and saw Charlene watching her. Charlene gave her a slight smile and a nod, turned away and walked out the automatic doors of the supermarket.

  Once Charlene reached her car, she was happy that she had done that. She felt like the young Charlene really did comprehend what it was that she was saying, and even if she didn’t change right away Charlene hoped she would get it together quickly enough to become a different older Charlene.

  Chapter 39

  She had spent some time with Isaac over the following week, but not enough to gauge if things were totally back to normal. They ran a few errands together one day, and he picked her up for work once or twice. Today he had stopped by to bring her some things that she needed and he seemed to be in an emotional place. He came up to her and hugged her for about two minutes straight. Charlene didn’t know if it stemmed from his father, her, the baby or something else. When she asked all he said was that it was nothing.

  Charlene knew that even after all they had been through, she still loved Isaac and still wanted to marry him. She prayed that his feelings weren’t too different. She was happy that she and Isaac had decided that she would do her bed rest at his apartment. She took that as a good sign, but wasn’t sure if it bode well for the future. For all she knew Isaac would request a paternity test the minute the baby was born. But she understood that she had to take things day by day.

  “I know I was supposed to give you an answer to something and I never did,” he said out of nowhere.

  Charlene was surprised he remembered, since she asked the question right before his father’s death. She got a little nervous when he brought it up.

  “I did think about it and, honestly, it is a lot to swallow. I can probably admit that if I knew when we met, we probably wouldn’t have made it anywhere,” he continued.

  Charlene looked at him and then turned away, looking down. It didn’t sound like he was saying what she wanted to hear, but still she knew that it was all real talk, and something she kind of already knew. She didn’t respond.

  “Still, now that we have all this history and a baby on the way it makes you look at things kind of different. I won’t lie, I felt hoodwinked and bamboozled but I can’t change that,” he continued.

  “Isaac, I’m sorry for that, and I really do love you,” she finally interjected.

  “I know you love me, and I love you, too. The thing is it’s just not that easy,” he replied.

  There was silence for a second. Charlene could feel herself getting jittery and nervous about what was to follow.

  “I don’t want my daughter being teased, being called Jump-off Junior. It’s like we have to move from this area altogether to leave the past here,” Isaac continued.

  “Maybe we can start over,” she said.

  “Maybe we can. We do have a wedding set and a baby on the way, if there is a reason to move on we have one,” Isaac said. Then he paused, he seemed to be really thinking. “I don’t think I’ve been saying it the right way. I thought about the question, and I can handle it. Maybe not as well as I should, and I will probably always be a little bothered by some of it, but I can handle it,” he continued.

  “Are you sure?” she asked, feeling beyond relieved to hear him say that.

  “I’m sure. Nobody’s perfect. We all have different flaws. I tried to live my life for my father and now that he is gone, I feel lost. No one has all the answers. I can believe that these were mistakes in your past and you have only been with me since we met.”

  For a second Charlene felt her heart skip a beat. She felt guilty knowing that in fact she had been with Rich a few months ago. She couldn’t afford to worry or look guilty at this point, though, so she shook it off.

  “I’m sure your father was very proud of you, as am I. I know I’m a better person because of you. I hope that you know that you’re the only man I want. I’ll never forget when you proposed to me and all the things you said, and how much I felt the same way. I knew that day that you were all I needed and if I could erase my past to make today better with you, I would.”

  “Well, let’s just try to erase it as we go forward,” he said, not appearing very touched by her speech.

  Charlene felt great being able to clear the air with Isaac, or as much as they could at this moment. She felt blessed to have another chance at happiness. The rest would have to mend over time, and she hoped that it would. Between the incident with Lacy and the run-in with Rich, it would seem that neither of them had their relationship as first priority. They both were going to have to put in some extra effort to get back to where they were. All she wanted was to have the life he had promised her that day by the pond when he gave her the ring. It wasn’t impossible, and she was willing to do what she could to get it there.

  Chapter 40

  The clock read 1:52 PM and Charlene was staring off into space as she swung her legs in impatience. Her nails tapped the table and the room’s silence absorbed the tapping sound. Finally a vibration added to the tapping noise. Charlene’s cell phone, which was
sitting on the table, started to vibrate as it rang. She looked at the display screen and pressed TALK.

  “Yeah?” she said into the phone.

  “I’m outside,” the voice said through the phone.

  “Be right out,” she said.

  Charlene jumped off the seat, grabbed her stuff and headed toward the door. She had been waiting on Isaac for an hour or so and she was ready to go. Not only was she starved, she was looking forward to a day out. Charlene waddled down the hall, slowly stepped down the stairs and continued to waddle out the door. Isaac was sitting inside his car directly in front of her building. As soon as he looked up in her direction, he began to smile. Charlene was a sight to see. She looked absolutely gorgeous as she made her way to the car. She was dressed in a turquoise baby doll top that hugged her swollen breasts and lay over her round, pregnant belly. She wore fitted jeans with turquoise beaded thong sandals. Her hair lay in curls on her shoulders, and hovered over her glowing, flawless face.

  Isaac had stepped out of the car as she got closer. He met her at the sidewalk and leaned in and gave her a soft kiss on her lips.

  “Hey, babe,” she said.

  He took her by her arm and walked her to the passenger side of the car. He opened her door and helped her sit inside. Once she was all the way in, he closed the door beside her and walked back over to the driver’s side.

  As soon as he sat down and closed his door, Charlene joked, “I feel like an old lady.”

  Isaac laughed. “No, you’re just getting older.”

  “Oooh, I don’t like how that sounds.”

  “You still look good, baby,” Isaac said.

  “Thanks, baby, even though I know you’re trying to make me feel better.”

  “No, never that,” he said, chuckling as he pulled out onto the street.

  There wasn’t too much traffic, but the cars ahead were causing Isaac to drive a steady 35 miles per hour. It was a sunny, clear day, and New Yorkers always tried to cruise in their cars to take pleasure in the nice weather because they never knew when it would be gone for good. That was the same reason why Charlene didn’t mind the not-so-fast speed. She was starving, but she, too, was enjoying the day. She had her head leaned back against the headrest and she was tapping her thigh to the soft music in Isaac’s car. That was, until she reached over and turned up the radio when she heard her song by Robin Thicke get introduced by the radio jock, Shaila. Charlene immediately started swaying side to side and humming.

  “You and that dang song,” Isaac said.

  “Yeah, the same way you are with the Young Lloyd song,” Charlene said as she snapped her fingers and swayed to Mr. Thicke’s crooning.

  As soon as she started to sing some, Isaac started laughing and reached out and turned down the volume.

  “For real, babe, where do you want to go eat?”

  “I thought you said we were going to Sea Shore,” she replied.

  “Just wanted to make sure you didn’t change your mind, you know how funny you have been with your food.”

  “No, I can go for some shrimp, I’m starving since you took so long.”

  “Sorry, my mother needed me to move something at the house, so I stopped on my way to you.”

  “No problem,” Charlene said as she turned the volume back up slightly.

  She sat and swayed to the R&B music the rest of the ride as she enjoyed the scenery.

  Twenty minutes later they were sitting inside Sea Shore. There was a decent crowd but it wasn’t congested in the restaurant at all, like Charlene and Isaac liked it. The waiter had been by to take their order and had already given them their water and bread to start with. In the section next to Charlene and Isaac sat a large party of eleven, it looked as if they were celebrating. There was a Latin couple sitting two tables away and an old man sitting alone about four tables in the other direction. Light jazz music played overhead, and the sound of forks and plates clanking together filled the area. Charlene looked around at the other patrons and wait staff.

  “You look so happy,” Isaac said to Charlene as she chomped down on her bread.

  “I’m hungry,” Charlene said with a smile and a mouth full of bread.

  “No, not that ... That makes you look greedy.”

  “Ha, ha, ha,” Charlene said sarcastically. “So what you mean, then?” she asked.

  “I mean you just seem in a really good mood.”

  “I am. Why wouldn’t I be? I am at one of my favorite restaurants, with one of my most favorite people on a beautiful day.”

  “That’s good. I’m happy to see you’re happy.”

  “Thanks, babe,” Charlene said as she delved into her freshly buttered bread.

  Charlene took a few bites and then went over his last response.

  “Why, are you not happy?” she asked.

  “Very much so.”

  “Good ... What are you so happy about?”

  “I’m happy to be spending forever with you. I’m happy that I’m with a woman that I love and that I can be proud of. I’m happy you’re carrying my child inside of you and that we are going to make a wonderful family.”

  Charlene was speechless. She had not expected him to say such sweet things, and definitely never thought she would hear him say he was proud of her when she thought she was an embarrassment.

  “Thank you, babe,” she managed to say without breaking down.

  “You don’t have to thank me ... Thank you. Thanks for choosing me.”

  “Izzy, you’re going to make me cry ... Stop it.”

  “I mean it. When I saw you walking toward the car today, I was mesmerized by how beautiful you were and how lucky I am to have you.”

  “Thank you, baby, I feel just as lucky. That’s why I look so happy,” Charlene said, giving him a big cheese smile.

  At that moment the waiter brought over their salads with ranch dressing.

  As soon as he walked away Isaac looked straight back into Charlene’s eyes.

  “I wanted you to start getting your stuff together to move in with me, so we are settled by the time the baby gets here.”

  “Oh, I thought we were waiting until after the wedding,” Charlene responded, sounding a bit confused.

  “Yeah, but we might as well get started this weekend, there’s no real reason to wait. Besides, I don’t want any more time to go by where I can’t be with you.”

  “This weekend it is, then. I will call a U-Haul truck and arrange it.”

  “Great,” Isaac said as he dove into his salad.

  Charlene had no idea where this excess of emotion was coming from with Isaac, but she wasn’t complaining. She didn’t know how to react, really, so she tried to act as if it was normal.

  However, maybe Isaac was reading her mind, because he added, “It’s like I fell in love with you all over again.”

  “What, you had fallen out of love?” Charlene asked.

  “Not at all. We all fall in love with our partners more than one time. It can be ten times throughout a long relationship. This is probably my second or third,” he answered.

  Charlene took a second and then said, “Second or third?”

  “Yeah, I think right before I proposed to you may have been the second time. I didn’t put my finger on it that time, but this time I know.”

  “Where did this come from?” she asked.

  “I’m not sure. Maybe just thinking about how great our future is going to be together, or maybe seeing you waddle to my car today,” Isaac said with a giggle.

  “Cute,” Charlene said with a hint of sarcasm.

  “I feel like I’m in heaven with you right now,” Isaac added.

  “Well, I am very flattered, and I am just as happy with you by my side. I love you so much already that I feel the way you do about us on a regular basis.”

  “Well, I’m sure when you finally move in and we are always together, the novelty will wear off,” Isaac said, chuckling.

  “Probably so,” Charlene said, laughing back.

&n
bsp; A steamy plate of shrimp scampi and yellow rice was placed on the table in front of Charlene by the waiter. Then he placed lobster tails in front of Isaac. Charlene didn’t even wait for the waiter to leave before she took her fork and stabbed at one of the pink critters on her plate. Isaac giggled at the sight of Charlene’s hunger taking over before he even picked up his fork. The two of them sat there enjoying their meal and enjoying each other. Isaac was right about one thing, Charlene was so very happy.

  Chapter 41

  The sun was about setting, and the winds were picking up. The weather called for a light jacket, but Charlene wouldn’t know because she was indoors, as she had been for several days now. She was on the Web looking up information about mentoring young girls. Ever since that day in the supermarket she felt like she’d found her calling. She’d always wanted to do more with herself, and now she’d finally found something. Charlene realized that she would feel better if she could help young girls that are misguided and use her own experiences as a guiding tool. Charlene knew that having access to someone like her when she was growing up would have been a huge help. Charlene had been too afraid and ashamed to talk to her mother or sister, and her friends made what she was doing seem like the hip thing to do. She knew that those friends had influenced a lot of her decisions, and not having a positive role model to consult with didn’t help. Her sister was out doing her own thing, and although her mother tried to keep her on the right track, Charlene always had seen that as just one more way her mother was strict and annoying.