MMF BISEXUAL ROMANCE: Phoenix Running

by Nicole Stewart

  “What?” Phoenix fired back. She nodded slowly, firmly. Ashley pressed his back against the wall and slid down until he was sitting on the floor and stared at her with glistening eyes. The seriousness of what she was saying was written all over her solemn face.

  “Yeah, I think it’s past time. Everybody got what they came for. Phoenix, I played my role and I’ve done everything I could to ensure your reelection. Ashley, thank you so much for everything you did to make NowIn the success that it is. I believe you got the excitement you were looking for the night you met us, and you experienced a polyamorous relationship. If we’re waiting for a bigger bang than what we already got, then we’re wasting our time. Let’s end this before it gets ugly.”

  Phoenix opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He ran his hands over his face and blinked at the fluorescent light above them. He wrapped his arms around his body and hugged himself as he stared at her mutely.

  Ashley broke the silence. “Why are you giving up on us?”

  “Because there is no us,” she retorted.

  Phoenix shook his head. “This isn’t what I came here to do.”

  Cee-Cee shot up from the bed and spun around to confront him. “Then, what did you have in mind? To profess your undying love? Be realistic. None of us are in a position to make those kinds of commitments.”

  “No,” Phoenix growled. “You’re not in a position to make any kind of commitment, but it’s by choice.”

  “Well, isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black,” Cee-Cee sneered.

  Ashley rose and planted himself between them. “Stop.”

  “Don’t let her do this. Tell her we don’t have to do this!”

  Cee-Cee laughed humorlessly with a toss of her head. “I don’t want to hate you, Phoenix. I don’t want to watch you rise yet again to power and grow into even more of a narcissist than you already are.”

  “What about me?” Ashley whispered brokenly. He blinked back the wetness in his eyes and squared his shoulders. “Cee-Cee, we…this deserves a shot.”

  “And we gave it that. But I don’t resent you either, Ashley. Right now your top priority is taking care of your father. After that, it’s music. Where do the two of us fit into the equation? Face it, guys. We’re three people on different journeys, traveling to places in life. Someone will have to give something up in order for this to remain as is. That’s not an option for me.”

  Phoenix chuckled wryly. “It’s like I said, Ashley. She got that email and realized we didn’t fit into her success story.”

  “Talk to me when you give up your run for reelection and you’re ready for us to be a real family, Phoenix,” she fired back. Phoenix huffed and clamped his mouth shut, brooding.

  “She’s right,” Ashley painfully acknowledged. “She’s right. We…we can’t do this forever. It’s better to cut ties while we’re still on good terms.”

  “How can you say that?” Phoenix flared. “How can you say that, knowing why I brought you two here? I’m doing everything I can to show you I love you both. Cee-Cee, what more do you want from me?”

  Ashley repeated, “Someone will have to give something up. Will that be you, Phoenix?”

  “You know I can’t do that.” Phoenix’s eyes pleaded with the both of them, but Cee-Cee wouldn’t look at him.

  Ashley replied, “Well, then, that’s how I can say that. Once upon a time, someone told me it took more than love to make a relationship work, and I believe that. This thing between us has been as much of a sham as your publicity stunt with Cee-Cee. It felt good, but it wasn’t real. It can’t be if nobody is willing to risk something for it. So, let’s just…let’s just make the most of this trip.”

  Cee-Cee nodded and put her hands to his shoulder, turning toward Ashley to hug him. She whispered into his ear, “I’m so sorry.” He kissed her tear-streaked face.

  “It’s for the best.”

  “Give me this,” Phoenix said in a low voice. “Give me the pretense for the rest of this trip. Please. I swear after that we can go our separate ways, but we can’t end like this. I don’t want to remember us this way—bickering, sniping, ugly.”

  Cee-Cee weakened in Ashley’s arms, and she swallowed down the sob that threatened. The pain seemed to intensify with Phoenix’s words. “I don’t want that either.”

  “Make love to me,” Ashley begged. “I need to be loved.”

  Phoenix grabbed his hand and pulled him to the bed. Cee-Cee came willingly as well. They made love deep into the night. It was slow, sensual sex laden with regret and yearning. She felt fulfilled in every sense of the word except the most important one. In the back of her mind, she kept seeing Phoenix with Gina. She tried to dispel the image, realizing Gina had sent her that email to inspire exactly this sort of anger and distrust, and she didn’t want to give the witch the satisfaction.

  Cee-Cee gave her body up in ways she had never done before, this time with her whole broken heart so that when Phoenix plunged inside of her, he could feel what he was giving up. Ashley whispered love words that left her hollow with sadness. Phoenix brought a desperation to the sex that was raw and vulnerable.

  When it was all said and done, they fell asleep in each other’s arms like they had in happier times, except now the impending goodbye hung over them like an anvil. Ashley tucked Cee-Cee against his chest and slept with his head in the crook of Phoenix’s arm. Cee-Cee didn’t sleep much. She lay awake wondering if she was making the right decision as she watched her lovers sleep fitfully. Ashley whined softly. She rubbed his chest. Phoenix groggily placed his hand on top of hers.

  “I love you, Cee-Cee,” he murmured in his sleep. She squeezed her eyes shut. Her hurt had forced her to say the things she had said tonight, but none of it was untrue. They needed this separation now before it was too late, before any of them gave up something they couldn’t get back in pursuit of a love that not everyone was willing to fight for.

  * * *

  Phoenix woke them with breakfast in bed. He had ordered room service while they slept. He had booked an excursion to Mayan ruins and put fresh batteries in his camera so they could take as many pictures as possible. When Cee-Cee rolled over, naked and sleepy and looking like a sun-kissed goddess, he kissed her before she could speak.

  “Good morning.” She smiled slightly, touching her lips. She gazed with surprise at the fruit tray and mimosas by the bedside. “What’s all this?”

  “I got you something. I was going to wait to give it to you on our last day, but after the discussion we had last night…Well, I just figured I’d better give them to you guys now,” Phoenix replied. He ran his fingers up Ashley’s leg and woke him, too. Ashley rolled onto his stomach, and the covers slid down his nude torso to reveal his wide shoulders.

  He clasped Phoenix’s hand and held it for a beat while looking into his eyes. “I dreamed of you. I dreamed you were gone, and I couldn’t find my way without you,” he whispered. Cee-Cee sat up and drew the covers up to her chest.

  “Hey, guys. No sadness for the rest of the trip,” she reminded them.

  Phoenix swallowed the lump in his throat at Ashley’s words, and he went to the closet to dig around in his suitcase for the gifts he had purchased ahead of the trip, and he brought back two small jewelry boxes. Ashley and Cee-Cee shared a look, opening them at the same time.

  “Oh my gosh…what is this?” Cee-Cee’s eyes watered at the glistening diamond tennis bracelet that winked from the case. Ashley held up his gift, a simpler band of platinum. Phoenix showed them his wrist where a matching bracelet glinted against his tanned skin.

  On the inside of each was a separate inscription: “We are desperate for the things we miss…” “I am with you in this dark abyss…” and “I am falling into deepest bliss with you.”

  “The lyrics to my song,” Ashley replied, smiling.

  “It’s beautiful,” Cee-Cee breathed.

  Phoenix fed her a grape and watched her chew slowly, her eyes on him. Ashley made room for him to rejoin the
m in bed. Phoenix replied, “Regardless of what we did right and what we got wrong, I want you to know that I have never felt this way about anyone else before. You’ve both touched places within me that were untouchable. I wish…I wish things could be different.”

  Ashley shushed him with a tender touch to his lips. “What do we have planned for today?”

  “We’re taking a hike to a Mayan temple,” Phoenix announced. “Better wear your walking shoes.”

  Cee-Cee beamed. “I’ve always wanted to do that!”

  They got dressed and began their day, and it was like the conversation that had happened the night before was a nightmare they had awakened from. The blue sky, the ancient stone, the deep green of the forest all conspired to say, This is life, this is what’s real, not that madness… But they couldn’t believe it. The conflicts were real; this rapturous interlude was ending. They threw their all into the next few days together and by the time the ship docked, there was nothing left to hold onto but memories.

  Phoenix had his car drop each of them off. When they got to Ashley’s hotel, he sat still and stared out the window at it. “So this is goodbye,” he whispered sadly. Phoenix dropped his hand on top of Ashley’s.

  “I’ll miss you,” said Phoenix.

  Cee-Cee murmured reassuringly, “You know I’ll be in touch.” Ashley nodded and forced himself to get out of the car. No kisses, no hugs. All of that had been done aboard the cruise ship. He walked away from Phoenix without a backwards glance, and Phoenix stared after him with a hole in his chest.

  As the car pulled away, he steeled himself to do the same with Cee-Cee. They rode in silence. He touched her fingers, but she gently moved her hand away. “Don’t make it harder than it has to be,” she murmured.

  “Tell me this. Did I make you happy?”

  She sighed and looked away. “The happiest.”

  “Then why do we have to do this?”

  “Because. You’ve also made me the saddest I’ve ever been. I don’t want to feel that way anymore.” Cee-Cee visibly swallowed, and Phoenix longed to take away whatever pain he caused her.

  “I’m so sorry, Cee-Cee. I never meant to hurt you.”

  “In matters of the heart, hurt is rarely intentional. Isn’t that what they say?” She looked away and he was struck by how young she was. He was no senior citizen, but five years….it was a lot. At twenty-two, he’d been so wet behind the ears, he was practically drowning. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter, Phoenix. I’m stepping down from PR-ISM. I just thought you should know.”

  “Please don’t. The interview is coming up, and I need you.”

  “Fine, Phoenix. But after the interview, that’s it for me.”

  “After that…will you stay in touch?”

  She twirled the bracelet around her wrist and closed her eyes. He saw her on the main deck with the sun bathing her face in golden light and the wind ruffling her feathery black hair. He saw her in a sunhat and a bikini. He saw her excitedly exploring the Mayan ruins. He would remember her like that. He didn’t want to remember the tears welling up when she opened her eyes.

  “I don’t think I will, Phoenix. I think for you and me, this is it.”

  Chapter 37

  The interview was set to start in ten minutes, and Phoenix paced the greenroom, nervous about putting this, the final piece into place. It was all for show now. Every inch of it. The emotions that had flourished between the three of them had waned, but he still had a campaign to head, and this interview was part of that campaign. So…

  “Time to play politician,” Phoenix muttered to himself. He was turning into the kind of man he hated.

  Once this live interview hit the airwaves, everyone would know Phoenix Briton proudly claimed friends from all walks of life and was a staunch ally to the QUILTBAG community. He had publicly dated Cee-Cee for long enough to dispel rumors about his own sexuality, and although the breakup put a damper on things, Gina’s parting shot had actually served to make him look all the more like a heterosexual playboy.

  As he watched the stagehands make the show run smoothly, he couldn’t shake the image of Cee-Cee telling him she was ready to break things off. He tried to picture the fun times they had had during their last week together, but her face would always reappear, distressed and tear-streaked.

  At nights, he was tormented with flashbacks of the passionate, raw sex they had had together. He would wake up reaching for Ashley, and he wouldn’t be there. It had been weeks since he had seen the rock star other than in his dreams. He followed him online but never made his presence known. It gave him some sense of connection with him.

  Phoenix saw Cee-Cee often enough, as much as her job demanded it. But other than that, they were like strangers. The main reason he had busied himself with his campaign was because he didn’t have anything left to keep his mind off the heartbreak. Staying busy was keeping him from locking himself away in his condo with a few bottles and a bad chip on his shoulder.

  It wasn’t until after they had made it back from the cruise that he had seen the newspaper write-up about Gina and him in the Yellow Lounge. Gina had set him up. She had to have known he would turn her down, and she had made sure her friends at the paper knew the couple would be out together so they could get a candid shot, but the headline spin was all her own. When he found out, Phoenix had tried to contact Cee-Cee. She didn’t want his explanations.

  “Have you had hair and makeup?” One of the studio staff breezed over to him and checked his microphone.

  Phoenix snapped out of his daze. “Hmm? Oh, yes. Can’t you tell? Hmph! I just got done with the MUA. Am I up yet?”

  “Ten more minutes, Mayor Briton. Can I get you anything?”

  He frowned when his cellphone rang and dug it out of his pocket, reminding himself to turn off the ringer before he went on set. No one had called his personal line recently, though. “No, I don’t need anything. Thank you.” He turned away and answered the call. “This is Phoenix.”

  Wallace Briton’s blustery voice greeted him with a growled expletive. “You fucking bastard!”

  “Hi, Dad. Last I checked, I’m legitimate, but please tell me you’re not my father so I can pop some champagne and celebrate the welcome news,” Phoenix replied dryly. By now Wallace had to have tuned in to Q-G TV and realized this wasn’t his step-down speech.

  “How the fuck did you get into my house?” Wallace Briton asked. “I know you were here, and I know what you took!”

  “What are you talking about?” asked Phoenix. He stepped outside for privacy and so that the patchy reception fading in and out would stabilize. “I haven’t been to your house, but now that I have you on the phone, it saves me a call later to tell you I’m not stepping down. I’m taking matters into my own hands. Stay tuned to Q-G TV to see for yourself.”

  “I see what you’re trying to do, and it won’t work in your favor. You should’ve listened to me and stepped down when you had the chance. Now you’re just making a public spectacle of yourself.”

  “Well, you’d know all about that, wouldn’t you?”

  “When I get enough evidence to tell the cops that you broke into my house, you might as well hang your political career up, and I want those pictures back!” Wallace shouted.

  “I don’t have—”

  “Mayor Briton?”

  Phoenix turned and saw the staff member hanging out the studio door, beckoning for him. “You’re up. Come on!”

  Phoenix hung up the phone mid-call and hurried into the building to get ready to take the stage.

  * * *

  Cee-Cee sat in the lounge behind set with a few other members of PR-ISM staff. As usual, she had gotten there a little late after tearing out of class and driving like a speed demon, but the show hadn’t started yet, so she wasn’t late-late.

  The team from PR-ISM stared at the live feed on the large TV mounted on the wall before them. Gina Lafitte was conspicuously absent because she had been fired after it was discovered she had manufactured that article ab
out her date with Phoenix. And as pleased as she was with Gina getting what she deserved, Cee-Cee still couldn’t get over the fact Phoenix had gone out with Gina without telling her.

  Uncle Bryan gave her a confident smile, and she nervously smiled back. “We’ve got this in the bag,” he whispered. This interview was her swan song. After they got Phoenix past this hump, she’d be wrapping up her brief stint as a social media liaison for PR-ISM Public Relations and moving on to developing more apps. She had more money than she knew what to do with after the sale of NowIn. She could afford to take time off to create something new.

  A bittersweet nostalgia washed over her as she watched Phoenix glide onto the stage and wave at the audience before Five Parker ushered him over to a big purple couch and told him have a seat. Cee-Cee pulled out of her daydreams about her future and focused on the show. He looked so handsome, it hurt.

  When she had pieced together the truth about Gina, Cee-Cee had reconsidered the break up, understanding that Gina had manipulated Phoenix, but in the end it was for the best. There was merit to Phoenix’s assumption that she didn’t want the messy relationship running interference with her career goals. More than that, though, she was afraid of the depth of pain she’d felt. Maybe her assumptions had been wrong this time…but she could never be sure of him. Not of anyone but herself. If she wasn’t willing to deal with that level of pain—and she wasn’t—maybe she wasn’t cut out for love. Not yet anyway. But despite having broken up with them, she still wasn’t her normal self. She hadn’t even pushed forward with buying her house.

  It had been two weeks since the cruise, and she mostly spent her time holed up in her room with her tech toys and favorite music playlist (which coincidentally featured half of Ashley’s album.) It’s just a phase, she told herself. I’ll get past it and be stronger than ever.

  “Alright, here goes. He’s going up,” Bryan announced. The quiet chatter at the table hushed as the opening title music for Five Parker Live on Q-G TV began to play. The host of the show sat at an oversized desk in front of a cityscape backdrop.