Hopeless Heart (Regency Romance)

by Rebecca King

  Bracing herself, she quickly divested herself of her underthings. She was shocked and thoroughly appalled at how wantonly she enjoyed standing in the open air completely naked. It was thrilling, reckless, hedonistic, and terrifying. The only time in her life she was completely naked was in her room, with the door locked and the shutters closed tightly. Her nipples on her up-tilted breasts peaked at the same time that goose bumps broke out all over her body. In spite of this, she wasn’t cold; she was scared. Scared of being caught and scared of what might happen once she got into the water. Scared of being naked out in the open and scared that she might never find peace in her life and skinny dipping might not give her with the answers she craved.

  Aware that she would never get any answers while dithering at the side of the lake, she slowly began to walk into the water. The frigid liquid immediately stole all trace of warmth from her skin and made her breath hitch in her chest. Still, she forged onward and, step by tentative step, submerged herself into the silken embrace of the water.

  Will remained frozen in place and stared. He should stop her but didn’t want to startle her because he couldn’t do anything to help if she fell beneath the water. Stunned, he stared blankly at the pile of her clothing before he slowly turned his stupefied gaze back to the woman who should be wearing them.

  The sight of her in all of her naked glory was now indelibly printed on his mind. Each time he blinked, the image of her was there, waiting to haunt him. The sight of her made his body react with an eagerness to that he had never expected. He had certainly never experienced this invisible pull of attraction toward any woman as strong as it was toward Georgiana. He was stunned, appalled, horrified, and downright intrigued to know why it was there. Why now? Why her? Why was it so difficult to ignore?

  While he waited for her to finish her swim, he scoured the trees surrounding the lake for anyone else who might be watching this wonderful display of feminine brazenness. As he did, he became aware of an overwhelming surge of possessiveness that swept through him with startling ferocity. It left him staring at the woman in the water in disbelief because of the new emotions she drew forth within him. He should leave, for her sake as much as his own. But, now that he had seen her in the water, it would be irresponsible to leave her all by herself.

  “She might drown,” he murmured quietly as he studied the deep blue of the clear water. Strangely, it rather felt as though he was the one at risk of being submerged.

  Georgiana shivered. It was foolish to loiter. Her toes were already numb. If she wanted to skinny dip without catching a cold she needed to go deeper into the water. With that in mind she took a deep breath and ducked beneath the surface. Thankfully, the resultant discomfort was temporary, and she was soon able to enjoy her first foray into skinny dipping.

  “How wonderful,” she murmured as she began to splash about in the water.

  She rolled onto her back and stared up at the blue sky. Watching birds flutter this way and that, she floated from one end of the lake to another. When she became aware of the looming bulk of the stone border at her head, she flopped over and tried to put her feet on the bottom. Her toes barely touched the soft sand but she was able to tip-toe tentatively from one side of the lake to the other. She contemplated getting out and jumping in again like she had watched her brothers do on many occasions but didn’t want to leave the luxury of the water and so contented herself with trying to swim.

  Suddenly, the loud snap of a twig shattered the silence. Georgiana spun around, her narrowed gaze scouring the trees for an intruder. There was one. Only a person would make that sound.

  “Who is there?” she called. “Show yourself.”

  The soft rustle of leaves drew her attention to the trees just beyond her clothing.

  “You!” she gasped in dismay, her eyes wide with horror.

  “What on earth are you are doing?” Will demanded. He worked hard to keep his expression devoid of life, and lifted on arrogant brow while he waited for her to reply.

  “That is glaringly obvious, isn’t it?” Georgiana snapped indignantly. “More importantly, what on earth are you doing here? Do you intend to try skinny dipping yourself?”

  As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she wished she hadn’t spoken. Her cheeks flamed with mortification. A part of her scandalously wanted him to do just that while inwardly she was still battling with the realisation that he had seen her undergarments. He had to have seen them; they were only a few feet in front of him. Given the clarity of the water, he would be able to see her if she ventured any closer.

  “Where have you been all day? Your parents are worried,” he admonished.

  “I don’t see that is any concern of yours, or theirs. I am one and twenty now. I don’t need their permission to go out,” she retorted.

  “You are under your father’s protection, Georgiana,” he replied patiently but firmly.

  “I am not on a lead,” she snapped. “I don’t see why I should run to them for permission for everything I want to do.”

  “Do you realise how reckless you are being?” Will prompted, ignoring her protest.

  He was trying to keep his mind off the fact that every time she moved, or even breathed, the water swished around her and he was blessed with a tantalising glimpse of pale feminine flesh that was simply captivating.

  “Now turn your back,” she ordered, eager to get her clothing back on.

  “Why?”

  “Because I wish to get out,” she replied pertly. “Unless you want a personal view of everything God gave me, turn around.”

  Will promptly did just that.

  Georgiana studied his back suspiciously, her eyes narrow. “Just how long have you been there?”

  “I just got here,” Will replied, desperately trying to ignore the sound of swishing water that belied her departure. “Get out. I will take you home.”

  “I don’t need you to take me home,” she snapped. “I can get there myself.”

  Will sighed. “You are not ten years old any more, Georgiana. This is highly inappropriate behaviour,” he chided, trying to keep the heat out of his voice. “Your mother is back at that house fretting. Your father has locked–actually locked–himself in his study and refuses to come out. Your brothers went to see your father but he refused to speak with them. They then refused to take tea with your mother and left, which upset her even more. If that hasn’t caused enough problems, you-” he pointed one accusatory finger at her over his shoulder, “-you are out here like a recalcitrant child completely oblivious to everything but your own selfishness.”

  He realised then that he had temporarily forgotten his need to keep his back to her. The arresting sight of her petticoats clinging desperately to her dampened flesh made sweat pop out on his brow. Although he quickly turned back around, he couldn’t ignore his body’s instant reaction.

  Georgiana wrestled her dress over her head. “How dare you call me selfish?”

  Her voice was temporarily muffled, but she knew he heard her because she kept her gaze trained on him the whole time. His shoulders tensed the way she had seen them do on many occasions in the past when he was angry or deeply offended about something.

  Well he can be offended. I don’t care anymore, she mused waspishly, and took a moment to squeeze her hair out while she tried to decide how to handle the situation.

  “I dare because you are,” Will replied. He leaned one shoulder nonchalantly against a tree in a casual pose that belied the tension within him.

  “You arrogant swine,” she snapped. She was so incensed that she didn’t notice his startled glance as he pushed away from the tree and turned to face her. Nor did she notice the long, sweeping look he gave her. Instead, she stalked up to him and poked one finger into his chest.

  “Every day of my life I get told what to do, what dress to wear, where I am going, which social function I simply positively have to attend, and I am given no choice in the matter. I am told what I should wear for God’s sake, and I am one and
twenty!” She was yelling at him but something in her refused to stop. “All the time I push aside what I want to do, and where I want to go, just to live a normal and relatively peaceful life–and you have the audacity to call me selfish? What I want to do doesn’t feature in anybody else’s selfish world, especially yours. Nobody bothers to ask me. Now, I have heard that you are to marry someone of your choosing, yet I have to sacrifice every second of my bloody day looking at material, ribbons, bows, shoes, and material for dresses while listening to Cecily carp on and on incessantly about what she wants, where she should consider we go, what she wants me to wear. I am never consulted, I am told that I have to do it yet you have the utter contempt to stand there and tell me that I am selfish?”

  For the first time in her life she wanted to hit someone–more importantly, she wanted to give Will the smack upside the head she believed he needed. Not least because he had chosen to marry sodding Penelope Smedgrove! When he merely stared at her as though he had no idea who she was she glared at him in complete disgust.

  “You, sap that you are, listen to Cecily’s utter tripe and swallow it while she manipulates you into doing her running about for her. I am sure she has blistered everyone’s ears about how wayward I am for going out with my friend and taking a walk because she wants to sit inside and making bloody wedding preparations for your stupid wedding.” Once again she poked him in the chest. “What about what I want?”

  She didn’t wait for him to respond. Instead, she spun on her heel, swept up her boots, and walked into the trees to put them on before she hurt her feet. Riding high on a tide of fury, she battled with trembling fingers while she tugged on her laces, completely oblivious to the blissful warmth that stole over her as soon as her chilled toes were covered.

  “Damn him,” she muttered. “Damn them all.”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  “What’s wrong, Georgiana?” Will followed her to make sure she came to no harm while so furious about everything. He had never seen her like that before, and it was as disturbing as it was revealing.

  Georgiana snorted. “You have to ask? You try living your life with everyone telling you what to do all the time. Even you tell me what to do and blithely ignore me. You are no different to them. You are always following me around, telling me off when I do the same things you have done all of your life.”

  “I was eight the last time I went skinny dipping, Georgiana. You are a young woman now. It isn’t safe for you to do such things alone,” Will replied reasonably and calmly.

  “Oh, I can just see how that goes. What do you expect me to do, ask Cecily if she wants to come with me?” Georgiana shook her head and glared at him. “I can just imagine how that conversation would go.”

  In spite of his tension, Will’s lips twitched. Still, now was not the time to tease her about it. From the baleful look in her eye, Georgiana was likely to smack him

  “I didn’t realise you were so discontent with your life,” he sighed. “What can I do?”

  Georgiana shook her head. She hated the devastation that was left in the wake of the anger and hurt but seemed helpless to stop it building.

  “Go away,” she whispered. “Get on with your life and stop trying to tell me what to do. What I do with my own life now is no concern of yours or my parents.”

  “While you are under your father’s roof you are in his care,” Will said firmly. “You are duty bound to honour his wishes.”

  “Well, not for long,” Georgiana snapped. “I am leaving first thing in the morning and I won’t be back.”

  Will blinked and stared at her. “You can’t leave.”

  “Yes, I can. I am one and twenty now; of the age where my father ceases to be my legal guardian. You are right in that while I live with them I have to abide by their rules. So, if I move out then I have to sacrifice myself to nobody.”

  “But where will you go? What will you do?” Will demanded, desperate to find a way to persuade her to change her mind. It was clear that she meant every word. “You can’t leave.”

  When she tried to walk around him he caught hold of her shoulders and turned her to face him. “I am not going to let you do this,” he snapped, and he shook her to get her to listen to him.

  “You don’t get to have a say in what I do,” Georgiana protested as she shrugged him off. “What are my parents going to do? Send me to my room like I am eight years old again? Lock me in my room like I am ten? Or send for you or my brothers so you can bully me into doing what you want me to do while you have the indecency and utter gall to call me selfish? Well, I won’t stop here. I am not going to stop here. This is your home, Will, not mine. Mind your own business. Now leave me alone. I was enjoying my swim until you came alone and ruined it. Now that you have succeeded in your goal and drained my life dry of even the mildest of enjoyment, you are free to toddle back to my parents and inform them of how wayward I am. Then you can all commiserate together. After all, I am nothing more than a selfish female who is too young and stupid to do anything for myself, aren’t I?”

  The fact that he didn’t deny it made her want to slap him again. While he stared at her in shock, she took the opportunity to step around him and storm out of the woods. The silence she left in her wake should have been rewarding, but instead left her with a grief unlike no other. It was the first time in her life she had ever spoken to another person like that. It was also likely to be the very last time because the guilt that now weighed upon her was heavy. But, if she succumbed to it, Will would succeed in forcing her to change her plans, and she would be made to watch him marry Penelope Smedgrove.

  “Georgiana, wait,” Will called. When she didn’t slow down or stop, he raced after her and grabbed her elbow to make her. “Just think about this for a moment. While I understand you are angry, you are in no different a position than any other young woman of your age who is unmarried and lives with her parents. It is what is expected of you that is all.”

  “Well, I am sick of doing what is expected of me. I have done what is expected of me all of my life and what has it brought me? Nothing! That’s what it has brought me - nothing at all. You can get on your horse and trot off to wherever you decide to go whereas I cannot even step outside of the door without a leash on that hauls me back within the hour. As long as I sit upon a chair only a few feet from my mother listening to her endless ramblings about stupid things then that is fine. As soon as I take a breath for myself I am being selfish, but that is alright as long as you and Cecily can do what you want. How self-centred can you possibly be? How self-serving? How ungraciously arrogant? Well, I have no intention of spending the rest of my life like this so refuse to listen to anybody scold me - even you. Go home. Go about your business as you have every right to do. Go to your fiancé. I don’t care. Just leave me alone!”

  Georgiana turned around and started to walk away when the faint echoes of her conversation with Theresa prompted her to reconsider. She instinctively slowed her pace while she considered the next several hours. They were already going to be difficult if Cecily was in a snit–did it matter all that much if she made them just a little worse?

  Before she could talk herself out of it she looked over her shoulder, a little surprised to see Will standing where she had left him, staring at her. She spun on her heel and retraced her steps, but this time didn’t keep her distance. Instead, she walked straight up to him and stared him in the eye.

  “Tell me what is going on,” he asked calmly. “Don’t lie to me, Georgiana. I won’t have you not being completely honest with me.”

  “I am leaving,” she declared firmly. “And I won’t be back. There is just one thing I need to do before I go, though, just so you understand.”

  “Understand what?” he asked in confusion. His answer came when Georgiana stepped forward and closed the distance between them.

  Georgiana’s boldness was fuelled by her determination that for once, for this one last day at least, he needed to realise that she was no longer a little girl. She wanted to
experience, just once, what it was like to kiss him. Given that he refused to accept she was an adult in her own right, and probably never would, she knew that it was now or never. After all, she wasn’t likely to see him again. If he was angered by what she was about to do, then she didn’t have to face him. He was never going to be hers anyway.

  Planting her hands firmly on either side of his face, she stood on tiptoe and kissed his startled lips. His swiftly indrawn breath was captured by her lips but she made no apology for it. Instead, she did what she had yearned to do for so long now, and leaned into his solid strength. What she hadn’t expected him to do was instinctively slide his arms around her waist and hold her against him. She could feel every ridge and hollow of his solid masculinity nudging against her every time he took a breath, and revelled in the glorious sensuality of it.

  Georgiana had no idea what she was supposed to do now so she put every ounce of love she had for him in that one searing kiss. She was shocked. She was mortified but still brazenly unwilling to stop and apologise for what she did.

  He, gentleman that he was, tried hard not to encourage her. It was wrong; so very wrong but also very, very, right. Something he had never expected to experience began to filter through his shock and, in spite of his best efforts not to, he allowed the barriers to fall and kissed her back. At first, he held her steady against him. Then, when the flames of desire began to engulf him, he tightened his embrace and returned the kiss with all of the raw need he felt. Her untutored movements made it quite clear she was inexperienced in the art of kissing, so he set about showing her what she should do.

  She is a quick learner, damn it, he moaned as he struggled to hold on to his self-control.

  “We need to stop,” he whispered when he found the strength to tear his lips away from hers. They didn’t go far, though, and peppered kisses down the side of her neck while he waited for her response.

  Although she heard him, Georgiana remained undeterred and tugged his head back up to hers. She was thrilled when he came back to her willingly and returned her kisses with equal fervour.