The Time of Her Life

by Jeanie London

  Challenging herself to learn, to discover, to accomplish, to fail, to rest, to reach.

  To love.

  The only thing that made any difference at all. A discovery that nourished spirit the way rain nourished earth.

  And trailed over her, awakening senses until she felt each warm droplet dance over bare skin, down the contours of her face, her neck, each fat droplet drawn to the next, uniting in silken ribbons that gained momentum, streamed around the bow of her shoulders, down her arms. Followed the curve of breasts in tiny cascades, making her nipples tingle with awareness.

  With the knowledge of a presence.

  Skip.

  He was there, belonging to this moment as the rain poured from a sunny sky.

  His gaze drank her in all at once, a gaze so potent she felt his appreciation as alive as the rain.

  He enjoyed her nakedness, the sight of her.

  She felt his appreciation deep within, felt beautiful beneath his gaze.

  She wanted to entice, to bring him pleasure. Letting her eyes flutter shut, she parted her lips to catch raindrops on her tongue, her hair tumbling down her back, wet strands heavy.

  Rising up on tiptoe, she lifted her hands to the skies. Warm droplets splashed between outstretched fingers, and her body stretched taut with the motion. Muscles shifted to redirect the rivulets of rain over new terrain, into the V of her waist, the slight roundness of her belly, the length of her thighs.

  A show, designed purely to heighten the physicality of this moment, his awareness.

  An invitation.

  To satisfy the ache deep within, a yearning.

  For him.

  And he knew.

  Because he yearned, too.

  Reaching out, he grazed his fingertips over the curve of her cheek, a testing touch, his skin mildly rough, creating friction along soft skin.

  All this exposed skin, and he touched her cheek.

  But somehow his touch didn’t surprise her. He was a gentleman always, thinking of others, making her desire as important as his own.

  And his teasing touch was all about desire. His touch felt as natural as the wisteria hanging from the arbors and the rain falling from the sky and the wet grass beneath her toes.

  Trailing his fingers along the curve of her jaw, he explored her face with a featherlight touch, a touch that filled the moment with breathtaking promise. One innocent touch that made her skin exquisitely sensitive everywhere, as if one small caress trailed over her body.

  An intimate caress that caused heat to gather low in her belly, awakening a response that had slumbered so long she’d forgotten how potent it might be should it ever awaken....

  Susanna jolted awake.

  For one blind moment, she only stared into the night, not a shadow or a sound striking any familiar chord through the fog of her sleep. Not the pale sheers that fell the length of the floor-to-ceiling windows, almost ghostly in the dark. Not the spindle-legged furniture. Not the fragile golden glow from some room beyond a door.

  A night-light?

  She stared into the room, eyes adjusting to the dark, too aware of her heart pounding with slow, throbbing beats. Her skin flushed until her pajamas clung uncomfortably.

  Awareness came only in slow degrees but along with it came more awareness.

  Of the nature of her dream. And her body’s reaction.

  Her breasts felt heavy in a way that only accompanied arousal. The fire low in her belly still smoldered.

  She knew this feeling, though her body hadn’t awakened in this way for so long. Rolling onto her back, Susanna flipped away the comforter, allowed the cool night air to clear the remnants of sleep and dispel the effects of that dream.

  The memory of her oh, so handsome husband made her smile. She had been many things at that time of her life—wife, mother, CFO—but Skip had never let her forget she was a woman, first and foremost, the woman he loved.

  How long had it been since she’d felt anything but fear, anxiety, worry?

  Since long before Skip died. The worry had started when he hadn’t been able to shake what they’d thought was a flu, the low-grade fever, the swollen glands. He’d gotten listless, lethargic, unable to eat or sleep normally, and he’d started losing weight. By the time he’d finally admitted that she was probably right and he should see the doctor, even he’d been worried.

  But neither had been prepared for the diagnosis.

  No, it had been a very long time since she’d paid attention to anything but survival, and savoring each and every second with everyone she loved.

  Funny, how her body would suddenly remind her she was still a woman. Was the melatonin having some weird effect?

  Fanning herself with the comforter, Susanna frowned. Hot flashes made her think of menopause, but she hadn’t even reached her milestone fortieth birthday—yet.

  But something about that didn’t feel right, either, and her drifting thoughts chased around and around, trailed over the fading images in her head. The flowers. The sun. The rain.

  The arbors in spring.

  Walter’s rich Southern drawl suddenly made an appearance, too, sharing a promise of how beautiful the arbors would be when they bloomed again. She’d only seen internet photos, yet her mind had been filled with detailed images, the blossoms in living color and amazing detail.

  The man who’d watched her.

  As Susanna stared into the quiet darkness, she could still see the eyes of that man in her dreams, eyes as green as the arbor leaves in spring....

  All vestiges of drowsiness evaporated as she realized she hadn’t been dreaming about her oh, so handsome husband at all.

  * * *

  SUSANA WAS A WRECK THIS morning. A complete wreck. Inspiring Jay’s confidence had been her main objective. Instead, she’d convinced him Northstar had sent an idiot to run this property. Northstar had rolled her under the bus, leaving a bad taste in her mouth, and the divide between corporate and private wider than ever before.

  And then there was that dream.

  The very thought sent her scurrying for cover in her office. She’d likely beaten Jay onto the property, but she had no idea what to expect from him. She could be packing her bags before lunch for all she knew, and professionalism would be her only defense.

  She didn’t have the energy to deal with stupidity today. Not when her future hung in the balance. If she failed miserably, she held Northstar partially responsible for mishandling Jay. She couldn’t be something she wasn’t, no matter how hard she worked. She wasn’t an experienced property administrator with exclusive memory-care knowledge.

  Anxiety must be responsible for the madness happening in her brain. For that dream.

  Susanna tried to find some calm in the activity of her morning routine. Hot water in a mug. VIA. A glimpse out the windows. But she was very early this morning and dawn wasn’t ready to make an appearance.

  She sat down at the computer, considered working on transferring data from The Arbors into Northstar’s software, but the reality that Jay might put the brakes on this transition period made the effort feel like a waste. She couldn’t concentrate, anyway. Not after that dream.

  Time to take action. She went online and typed into a search engine:

  What does being naked in a dream mean?

  A full page of potential explanations popped up, and Susanna clicked on the first link.
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  To dream of being naked means to be free. There is nothing restraining you, you’re free to do whatever you’d like.

  No. No. No. Too personal. Susanna wasn’t free to do what she liked. And certainly not with a business partner, a younger business partner, a younger business partner who would be leaving town soon.

  If he didn’t show her the door first.

  She tried again: What does dreaming of rain mean?

  More links.

  To be out in a shower of rain denotes pleasure will be enjoyed with the zest of youth, and prosperity will come to you.

  That was better. Pleasure and prosperity sounded good right now. That meant she might still have a job near her kids.

  And if she didn’t...Susanna could only control what she could control. If Jay decided to replace her because he didn’t like her résumé even after five weeks of working together, then she’d attempt to reason with him. That was all she could do.

  Susanna’s phone vibrated. Crack-of-dawn phone calls always made her heart miss a beat. Scrambling to withdraw the phone from her pocket, she glanced at the display, holding her breath to face yet another potential crisis.

  Karan.

  “You’re making a habit of waking up before dawn,” Susanna said, suddenly so relieved for a lifeline to someone familiar in her anxiety-riddled world. “Should I be worried?”

  “Good morning to you, too.” Karan sounded cheery and unexpectedly awake for a woman who didn’t have much use for conventional business hours. “Nothing at all is wrong with the world today. How about you?”

  “You’re up awfully early, or haven’t you gone to bed yet?” Susanna cradled the phone against her ear as another thought occurred to her. “Charles is okay? Everything good there?”

  This was the second time around for Karan and her husband. Five years of marriage, a divorce then remarriage.

  Only polite to ask. Maybe she wasn’t the only one in the world whose life was crumbling around her.

  “I saw him off to surgery.”

  “Making a habit of that. Admirable.” As a cardiothoracic surgeon, Charles’s life was dictated by his patients’ needs. Karan’s life, too, by default. “Give him a hug for me.”

  “Will do. Won’t see him until later, though. He hasn’t even pulled out of the driveway yet.”

  “And you called me instead of crawling back into bed? Really, Karan. What’s up? Can’t sleep? Maybe you should try some melatonin.” Side effects like erotic dreams wouldn’t be any problem for a woman with a handsome husband.

  A beat of silence. “Is all well? You sound...off.”

  Of course, Karan would hear past what Susanna was saying to what she wasn’t. But there was no way on this planet she could put into words that dream. Not even to her best friend. Especially the best friend who thought Susanna had a crush.

  The memory of their conversation came rushing back, and Susanna squeezed her eyes shut tight, as if she could block it out. No such luck, so she launched into a blow-by-blow of what had happened yesterday and Northstar’s betrayal.

  “Well, I’m not at all happy with your boss,” Karan finally said. “Nothing like leaving you vulnerable. Not okay. But an idiot, Suze? That doesn’t sound like you at all. You’re far too practical to get so flustered. Jay wasn’t rude, was he?”

  “No. Nothing like that. He was shocked, and unhappy.”

  “Then he’s the idiot. You’re a gem.”

  “I’m not what he asked for. He’s trying to make sure the level of care here doesn’t change for the residents or staff.”

  “If he doesn’t want things to change then why is he selling the facility?”

  “The question of the day for which I have no answer. Personally, I think he’s nuts. I can’t imagine leaving here.”

  There was a thoughtful silence on the other end of the line. Karan said, “Jay isn’t happy yet, Suze. Yet. He hasn’t had time to discover how lucky he is to get you. Your bosses sent you there because you’re perfect for the job. They should have informed Jay. You’ll just have to convince him yourself.”

  “If Jay doesn’t call off the acquisition or demand another property administrator. Northstar chose a poor time to flex its muscle, and now I’m in the middle. There’s so much riding on this acquisition, not the least of which is my career, my income, my children’s educations, my proximity to my kids and the roof above my head.”

  “Calm down, Suze,” Karan said. “Breathe.”

  “I was taken off guard, I suppose.”

  Well, that was true, even if it wasn’t the whole truth. The real truth was just bubbling up inside her, begging to burst free. She knew Karan would help make sense of what Susanna was feeling the way she always did. But the very memory of crushes and dreams made her stomach swim nauseously.

  She couldn’t give life to that feeling. Not now. She couldn’t handle one more thing.

  Not one.

  “Maybe I thought I was more ready for a change than I really am,” she admitted. “All I know is that if the acquisition doesn’t go through, I’ll be out of a job and a home.”

  “That job and that home,” Karan pointed out. “Northstar will move you if things don’t work out. The legal department won’t let them do anything else. Trust me on this.”

  “Northstar has properties on the West Coast. I could wind up in Seattle.”

  “Suze, that’s not—”

  “And will they give me another chance as a property administrator? Or would they make me a CFO again?”

  Without the property administrator salary, she’d be right back to struggling to keep up with dorm costs and meal plans and car repairs and auto insurance.

  For all she knew Northstar might be annoyed Jay had recognized her lack of experience. They might demote her into accounting. How would she refuse until she found another job? In the current economy, that thought was downright frightening.

  “I can’t tackle unemployment right now, Karan, not unless I’m planning to live off the equity from the house.”

  That equity was everything she and Skip had worked and planned for. Her only asset besides her retirement anymore. There’d be penalties for early withdrawal from her mutual funds, not to mention supporting the kids and herself would blow through her assets before Brandon was even a junior.

  No, if The Arbors didn’t work out and Northstar offered her a job in Timbuktu, she’d take it.

  And regret leaving Charlotte, because Susanna couldn’t imagine any place as perfect as The Arbors. The hotellike luxury of other senior-living facilities was no comparison to the sunrise beyond these windows, the sky streaked in deep pinks and blues, the paling horizon of the rising sun.

  She could always start up a side business, Susanna reminded herself. She was certified and could bring in good money freelancing accounting jobs, particularly around tax season, to supplement any loss of income. Karan would graciously assist with capital if Susanna would let her, and what else did she have to do besides work, anyway? Kids were gone. Dog was gone. House was gone. Husband was gone.

  “You know, Karan. I can’t figure out why this move never felt like such a gamble when I accepted it.”

  “Suze, you need to—”

  “Maybe it simply never occurred to me I might fail. Not very practical for a practical person, don’t you—”

  “Susanna!” Karan interrupted in a tone Susanna had never heard before. “You stop right now. I know exactly what you’re doing—you�
��re catastrophizing, and it’s unproductive. You’re psyching yourself out and making things feel bigger than they are. Knock it off. Now.”

  It took Susanna a moment to react. “Did you say catastrophizing?”

  “Yes, catastrophizing. I shouldn’t have to explain the concept. It’s self-explanatory.”

  Susanna wasn’t even sure catastrophizing was a real word, but the concept was indeed obvious.

  Along with Karan’s concern.

  Okay, not only was such practical advice a departure, but a bit of a role reversal for their relationship, which had endured for so many years. Years of Susanna’s practicality contrasting Karan’s no-holds-barred whimsy. The reality of need contrasting the idealism of possibility. Survival honed endurance while privilege fostered restlessness.

  Neither had been a road easily traveled; both ways had been pitted with potholes. But she and Karan had supported each other through marriage, divorce, remarriage, birth, life, death. Their friendship was still going strong, weighted now with maturity and life lessons.

  “Seattle, Suze?” Karan laughed. “You better hope not because I won’t visit. That weather destroys my hair. But, I’ll tell you what. If you wind up jobless and homeless, I’ll pick up a place on the outer banks so you can be near the kids. Charles keeps mentioning getting something further south so we can travel more easily to his family in Tampa. You like the beach, and so does my goddaughter.”

  Okay, the world was right again. Real estate as the solution to all life’s problems. Classic Karan.

  “You want me to call the real estate agent?” she asked.

  “No. But you’re right. I’m catastrophizing. Thank you for pointing it out.”

  “No thanks necessary. Just stop.”

  “I will. Promise.” A promise she intended to keep.

  The sun chose that moment to emerge over the horizon, shafts of gold shimmering across the lake’s surface, penetrating the mist rising from the water.

  The start of a brand-new day.

  A fresh start on a day where anything was possible.