Animal Instinct

by Kate Davidson

  “The same day my mother and I fought, I ate something that didn’t taste right. Turns out mommy dearest wasn’t going to take no for an answer on this one.” Jackie closed her eyes. She remembered waking up in someone’s garage, gagged and strapped to a metal table with her legs spread. She’d recognized a few of her brother’s friends. He’d been studying to become a chiropractor but he’d met people who would take care of unwanted pregnancies for a price. And when her mother asked, he called them. Jackie had unconsciously curled closer to Liam. He could see an old fear and pain in her eyes. It cut into him, more potently than silver. “There was a lot of pain. I remember that. I remember screaming so hard that I couldn’t talk for a few days. It’s blurry, though. I nearly bled to death in a fucking garage that belonged to a friend of my brother. I still have trouble believing that sometimes.

  “When I woke up again I was in a hospital. I knew I wasn’t pregnant anymore. I just felt… empty inside. What was worse, infinitely worse, was the fact that my brother’s idiot friends hadn’t known what the fuck they were doing and damned near killed me. The surgeons had to perform an emergency hysterectomy. So in the end I lost my baby and any chance of having a family with Daniel.

  “Once I could walk again, I ran. I never went back.”

  “You must hate Sarah’s mother more than Crawley.”

  Jackie quickly turned to stare at him, startled at the sudden change in subject. “What?”

  “Her mother - the fact that she wouldn’t protect her daughter like she was supposed to.” Liam touched Jacquelyn’s cheek with his fingertips and realized she was almost as cold as he was. “You’re freezing.”

  “You’re one to talk,” she mumbled. Jackie didn’t look away from his knowing eyes. She thought about that night when she’d had sex with him to avoid baring her soul. While it had been satisfying and incredible, it hadn’t been right. Not really.

  “I was with a vampire recently,” Liam said, letting his fingers trace the path from her cheek to her jaw then down the smooth curve of her neck. “Marguerite. We’ve had a convenient arrangement for years.” Jackie’s first instinct was to slap him and storm away. She didn’t. It pissed her off but she stayed put to listen. After all, she’d cut off communications this last week. She hadn’t demanded any sort of fidelity or promise. What right did she have? “But there was a very troubling problem.”

  “Oh?”

  “She wasn’t you.”

  “Oh.” Jackie cleared her throat. There was a sudden warmth in her stomach spreading through her body, although it mostly concentrated on that sensitive place between her legs. Death, the need to reaffirm life, the need to reclaim Liam as her territory after another woman had touched him and the fact that she always wanted him made the change in her body temperature unsurprising. “Liam, I don’t know if I can do this.”

  “I understand.” He didn’t know if he could do this, either. Not after all he knew now. Their relationship would never be a casual thing. It couldn’t be. Liam stood up and moved toward the bathtub.

  Jackie stared at him a few minutes, wondering what he was about until he put in the stopper and spun the knob for hot water. “You don’t have to take care of me,” she protested. Standing up, she winced as blood poured back into her numb legs.

  “I’m aware of that.” He looked over his shoulder at her and felt that familiar tug deep in his gut. Unfortunately it was neither the time nor the place.

  “Then why-” she began to say, reaching out to touch his arm. He moved quickly out of her reach and her eyes widened. Liam saw the hurt flash through them. He cursed himself thoroughly.

  “You need rest, Jacquelyn. You won’t get it if you touch me right now.” Her eyes remained wide but the emotion changed to disbelief. Jackie studied the tension in Liam’s shoulders and that familiar darkness in his eyes. He wanted her. Even after she’d told him about her past, even though she was damaged, he wanted her.

  “I can get rest any time,” she said. She pulled off her muddy shirt and let it fall to the floor. Liam’s eyes swept over her figure. Black flickered momentarily across those light brown orbs and that was all the invitation she needed to tug off her jeans.

  He moved too fast for her to see. In an instant his lips were covering hers, his hands resting on her hips. He made love to her mouth as Jackie pushed and pulled at his clothes until she could run her hands over his naked chest. A soft growl rumbled in his throat. The world blurred and her head spun when she realized he’d gotten them both undressed. His fingers massaged her breast slowly and his mouth briefly dipped down to taste one pert nipple. She whimpered, threading her fingers through his hair. “Liam.” He reached out with one hand to turn off the flow of water into the tub and lowered her into the water with the other.

  The water was warm but she felt cold without him pressed against her body, despite his naturally cooler temperature. It was the feel of him she needed, the weight of his bones making her feel as though she was truly rooted to the earth and not about to fade away. She reached for him and he slid into the tub beside her. Jackie wrapped a leg around his hip, pressing her mouth against the sensitive patch of skin just below his ear.

  He let out something between a chuckle and a moan. “Patience.” Liam moved down her body, touching his lips to her breasts, ribs, stomach and finally the scar over her desecrated womb. She shuddered, staring down at him while his clever hands and mouth made her blood and body hot. Then she worried. He wasn’t coming up for air.

  “Liam,” she whispered, reaching to pull him up. He tilted his head to look at her from below the surface of the water. His expression was clearly amused. It took her a moment but soon Jackie was smiling, too. He was a vampire. The rules were different for him. His mouth settled on her hot core and she forgot about rules. Both the water and his tongue caressed her. She gripped the edge of the tub. He slipped a finger into her body, feeling the wetness that was only hers and nothing to do with the bath. She moaned. “Oh, God, Liam, I love what you do to me.”

  Liam could hear her under the water. He put a second finger within her, rewarded by another long moan. He could imagine what being inside her completely now would feel like and he fought the urge to rush. He satisfied himself with the taste of her on his tongue as he took her sensitive nub between his teeth and gently tugged. Her muscles tightened around his fingers as she came, shuddering and whimpering his name. He loved the feel of her, the taste of her, the sound of her… Her. He loved her. His eyes turned black and fangs lengthened in his mouth.

  He loved her.

  Liam came up from the water with anger, fear and a dark, satisfied joy coursing through his body. He refused to think, plunging into Jacquelyn before she’d even recovered from her first climax and forcefully pushing her into the second. His fangs buried themselves in her throat. He filled his mouth with her blood and thrust, wishing he could somehow bury what he’d discovered in the act of sex. But it wasn’t sex anymore. It was making love.

  His growl was dark and dangerous as he came inside her and pressed her close against his body. The pleasure swamped his mind, barely covering the pain of knowledge.

  “Jacquelyn,” he whispered against the bleeding wound at her throat. She stroked his hair, pressed her cheek to his and sighed the sigh of a woman deeply contented. Liam closed his eyes.

  He loved her. He loved this fragile, beautiful, decaying mortal woman.

  How in the hell would he survive it?

  Chapter Eighteen

  DESPITE THE BELIEF THAT California doesn’t have weather, winter mornings could still be chilly. There were times Jackie stepped outside to be greeted with the harsh bite of ice in the air. It was better with mist. It softened the chill to something less hostile. Her breath would solidify in the air, disturbing the gray stillness. That particular morning was exactly such an example of California cool weather. The world was cloaked with a morning mist that the sun had yet to dispel. It would vanish after ten o’clock faster than a horse wou
ld spook at fire but for now the world was quiet. When Jackie had loaded up the horses at five AM, she’d been wearing a heavy sweatshirt and jeans. The temperature had not increased much in the few hours that had passed.

  It was Saturday, a day when no one should have to wake up before nine o’clock. This weekend was different than most for Jackie. This weekend there was a horse show to attend and judges to impress. This weekend Sarah would be making her debut in the show arena. The eight-year-old had disappeared twenty minutes ago to change into her show attire and hadn’t been heard from since. Jackie had a hunch that Sarah was suffering from an intense stomachache brought on by stress. She suspected this because when she had first begun to show, she had suffered from exactly the same thing.

  Jackie left Sofie at the horse trailer to keep an eye on Sampson and Ultrano while she went in search of the junior rider. Willow Ranch, so named for the giant willow tree thriving on the property, was a good facility. She’d been to a lot of ranches during her career, sometimes attending two shows during a single month if she was prepared. She generally preferred Willow Ranch because of the good judges and cleanliness. The arenas were impeccable, as were the stables. Jackie walked down the center aisle of the barn, past horses slowly munching their breakfast and solid wood walls. Most of the owners of the visiting horses were outside enjoying the free coffee. She’d spotted a few people she was familiar with from other shows. There’d even been one she still occasionally gave lessons to from time to time. Catching up with her peers was one of her favorite parts of the show process since the easiest way to get along with the horse community in general was to merely be acquaintances. The business of horses was often more dramatic than a Lifetime movie. Jackie had enough drama without adding botched sales or bad accounting.

  Finally she reached the bathroom at the middle and knocked gently on the door. There was a soft hiss of breath on the other side of the door then the sound of boots squeaking against tile.

  “Occupied,” Sarah’s voice whimpered. Jackie let out a sigh.

  “Sarah, honey, the only way it would take you this long to get dressed is if you had to hunt down your clothes before putting them on. You’ve got cramps, haven’t you?”

  “I think breakfast disagreed with me. Maybe I shouldn’t ride today after all.” Jackie smiled a little at the timid hope in the girl’s voice. She had a huge case of stage fright. It was understandable. Shows could be extremely nerve-wracking. Absolutely anything could go wrong. A horse could throw a shoe, a judge could be an ass or the rider could do something stupid in the arena that they’ve never done before and never would again. Most of that had happened to Jackie a few times in her career.

  “You had Cheerios for breakfast like you do every morning, Sarah. You’re in pain because you’re nervous. And you shouldn’t be! Intro Level is a breeze for you. You could do it in your sleep. I think you have done it in your sleep, come to think of it.”

  “I only closed my eyes for a second and he was walking slow and nothing happened,” Sarah muttered. “Anyway, I could forget one of the movements.”

  “I’ll be reading them out to you!”

  “I could forget after you say it!”

  Then she groaned and Jackie could picture Sarah wrapping her arms around her aching abdomen. The movements weren’t difficult. It was just turning at the right spots and making circles while trotting. Sarah was easily above that but she had it built up in her mind now as some insurmountable challenge. She leaned against the door, deciding to try a different tactic. “What about Sampson? We had to postpone his breakfast to get him out here and all shined up, which you know was a major inconvenience for him. His mane is braided and his nose is especially clean and pink today. You know he’s just dying to show off. But he can’t do it without you.”

  There was a long silence on the other side of the door. Jackie checked her watch. As it was, Sarah had a solid twenty minutes to warm up with Sampson before it was time to face the judge and perform. That would be enough, considering the simplicity of the test and the experience of the horse. Despite Sarah’s fears, she could easily do a more advanced test than the one Jackie had chosen for her. A few weeks ago she’d complained about how unchallenging it was. Jackie had known that once the time came, Sarah would be grateful for the simplicity. There was plenty of time for piaffe and canter pirouettes later on once Sarah had more experience with shows.

  At long last, the bathroom door creaked open and out stepped the nervous junior equestrian. The white breeches, shirt and stock tie that had been treated with extreme care fit her beautifully, as did the black frock coat. Its brass buttons shone, matching the shine in the tall black boots Jackie had polished herself. Her black show helmet was fastened securely on her head and white gloves covered still shaky fingers. Sarah gulped. “Okay, I think I can do this. For Sampson.”

  Jackie nodded. This first excursion into the ring would be about duty and friendship. After she got a blue ribbon for her efforts, every subsequent show would be about adding to her collection. Kicking ass and taking names. Sort of. “Good! Now we’ve got to hustle,” she said, pushing Sarah forward and out of the barn.

  They hurried back to the trailer. Jackie didn’t want to waste any time getting Sarah on the horse. She knew once she was on Sampson’s back, most of the nerves would go away. Her dad had told her as much when she was a beginner. Being in the saddle just had that affect on riders. There was a distinct sensation of belonging that went a long way to soothing pre-show jitters. Sofie had already clipped the show number to Sampson’s bridle and the stirrups were pulled down so once Sarah reached the horse she was immediately swung up onto his back. No time for backing out.

  “You are going to be so great, kiddo,” Sofie said, squeezing the girl’s hand and giving Sampson an encouraging pat on the neck. Jackie sent her a grateful look. Sofie just smiled then sent Sarah on her way to the warm-up ring. She gripped Jackie’s arm before she could follow. “By the way, some people dropped by to see our girl in action.”

  Jackie frowned. “Who?”

  “A certain dashing vampire and Sampson’s other biggest fan,” Sofie replied with a grin.

  “Izzy got up this early in the morning?” Jackie was stunned and not just because her friend had made an appearance so early in the day. It wasn’t so odd that she was there since she’d dropped hints about the show for the past week every time they managed to get on the phone together. She’d even mentioned it when Izzy was panicking about her bullet wound.

  The fact that Liam was there confused her. He didn’t really have a reason to drag himself out to some horse show at the crack of dawn. Admittedly, the horses being shown were his but owners who weren’t actively involved generally didn’t care about every little event. He only knew about it because she’d been legally required to ask if it was all right that Sarah was riding Sampson. He hadn’t made much fuss and said he trusted her judgment. He’d also mentioned that soon she was the only one who’d have to worry about Sarah’s safety. A few more bribes, a little more pressure on the Crawleys and Sarah would legally be Jackie’s daughter.

  After that announcement, Jackie was embarrassed to recall that she’d had sex with Liam on the desk in his office. Twice. And she had the bite marks to prove it. There was something ridiculously arousing about a guy who offered you everything you thought you couldn’t have.

  Lately, however, Jackie’s relationship with Liam had become much more than sex. She had shared the truth of her heart with him. He knew why she hurt inside. Since then he’d been around far more than normal. It was actually kind of nice to have a guy around the ranch and he seemed to enjoy being there. He said he liked to get away from business and the drama of vampire life. Apparently he was the one who had been looking into a lot of the recent murders involving donors and even a few random killings that were clearly the work of his kind. Liam hadn’t been terribly specific about his reasons or motivations. Jackie found that she didn’t want to speculate. It was enough to
know only a little about that side of his life. She just liked having him around more often. Of course, she didn’t really want to think about why that might be.

  And she was not going to think about the “L” word. Not at all. Not once. No.

  “Jackie!” Izzy called out, waving from the fence around the warm-up arena. Jackie walked a little faster and waved back. The fabulous Isabelle was wearing designer jeans and what looked like a cashmere sweater. And, of course, those infamous cowboy boots. Jackie continued to smirk even when she had Izzy wrapped in a tight hug.

  “Thanks for bringing your stylish self out here, Izzy,” she whispered in her ear. Izzy squeezed the older woman tight.

  “Hey, I wouldn’t miss Sarah’s first time. And Sampson is my very favorite horse in the world. He was the first one to ever tolerate my presence on his back. I’ll love him forever.”

  “It’s the pink nose. It woos all the ladies,” she joked.

  “Luckily Sampson is a gelding so I have no competition.”

  Jackie pulled away from her friend and smiled at Liam. It was always refreshing to see him out of suits and silk. The dark wash jeans, black shirt and leather jacket were flattering but practical. The jacket probably wasn’t necessary since he was a vampire but he did have an appearance to maintain. “I wouldn’t say that. Ultrano is a stallion and extraordinarily handsome,” Jackie said, fighting back a chuckle at the disgruntled look on Liam’s face. “Don’t worry. He’s not my type.”

  “Good.” Liam slid one hand into her braided hair and gave her a thorough ‘good morning’ kiss that left her a little weak in the knees. “Now, you’d better go see to your little equestrian before she makes a break for it.”

  She slapped his arm, not bothering to be gentle. It wasn’t as if she could hurt him anyway. “She’s just nervous, Mr. Emotion Smeller. She’ll be okay.” Jackie actually did follow Liam’s advice, but not for his reasons. She was her trainer. It was her job to coach her before she entered the ring. After that there wasn’t anything more she could do except read out the test and hope. She’d already done the best she could by picking a show where the judges were known to be fair. There wouldn’t be any stupid prejudices like preferring warmbloods to any other type of horse to ruin Sarah’s first score. “Start trotting him, Sarah!” she directed once she got to the fence around the warm-up ring. Sampson immediately broke into a brisk trot and Sarah guided him around in twenty-meter circles. “Keep his weight back!” Sampson liked to keep all his weight in the front, which made it a lot harder for Sarah to get his head up. It was just a matter of making him work. Once he realized he was stuck in the arena no matter how much he wanted to go take a nap, he’d do his job.