Nurse Saxon's Patient

by Marjorie Norrell

  Garth looked at her in surprise and she realized she had made a mistake. He was not worrying about the speed at which they were travelling, a speed, she realized, which was reasonable enough, considering their vehicle, nor the competence of Bailey’s driving. In fact, it was obvious that his thoughts had been very much elsewhere.

  ‘No,’ he answered her with a quick smile. ‘It isn’t that. I’m loving every second of this, I always do. If you’re thinking the accident has unnerved me, please forget it, Nurse. What is worrying me is how long are my hands going to be like this?’ He moved his head, indicating the bandaged hands lying on his knees. ‘Useless, helpless...’

  ‘Not for much longer,’ Julie assured him. ‘You’re making splendid progress, but these things won’t be hurried, you know. One simply can’t hurry them, or the whole effect is spoiled and all the effort has to be made a second time ... and you wouldn’t want to start right back at the beginning, would you?’

  ‘I want these,’ he moved the bandaged limbs restlessly, ‘free again as soon as possible. I want a pencil between my fingers again. I have a great deal of work to do ... there’s so much extra yet necessary detail I’ve thought of ... if only there were someone with whom I could discuss all this, someone who’d be interested enough to make notes for me so that I shan’t forget by the time I call use my hands again.’

  ‘Perhaps I could do that,’ Julie offered. ‘I’d like to, if you could tell me exactly what you wanted and then read it over to make sure I’d done exactly as you asked.’

  ‘Would you?’ There was no mistaking his glad acceptance. ‘If you would I’d be everlastingly grateful,’ he told her. ‘When can we begin? Tomorrow? This afternoon, when we’ve seen Aunt Lavinia and Uncle Andrew?’

  ‘As soon as you like,’ Julie assured him, ‘once you’re settled in at Woodlands and recovered a little from the journey. We must make certain there are no bad effects, you see.’

  ‘There won’t be,’ Garth said gaily. ‘Everything’s going to be fine now we’re at Woodlands. I always got better from childish illnesses here more quickly than anywhere else, and this isn’t an illness, only a nuisance.’ He looked out of the window as the big car swung round a curve in the road. ‘Here we are,’ he announced. ‘Woodlands’ gates ... now the drive. You’ll see the house in a moment.’

  Julie looked about her in obedience to his gesture. To either side of the wide drive green, velvety lawns lay, carefully tended, bordered by brilliant flowers. The house came into view, long and low, white-painted and with green shutters set back against the white walls, the roof a pretty rose-coloured tile.

  Mrs. Crossman came out on to the flagged terrace to greet them, and only afterwards did Julie learn she had been sitting at the long window for half an hour or more, watching for their arrival. Only the nurse could guess what an effort it cost the old lady not to reach out a helping hand to this boy she loved as if he were her own, but she watched with pride as, accepting Julie’s hand to help his injured ones, he descended from the car and went up the steps to meet his aunt and to press a kiss on the delicately tinted cheek.

  ‘Safe and sound, you see,’ he joked. ‘Bailey’s a careful driver. You knew I’d arrive all right.’

  ‘And luncheon is just ready,’ Mrs. Andy smiled. ‘Just a quick drink and a freshen up and then we’ll eat.’

  Julie found herself conducted by a pleasant-faced maid to a beautifully-proportioned room at the head of the stairs.

  ‘Mrs. Crossman put you in here,’ the girl told her, ‘because Mr. Garth is next door, and there’s a small communicating dressing-room if you should have to attend to him during the night.’

  ‘That was very thoughtful,’ Julie said. ‘I still have to help him dress, shave and so on, you know.’

  The girl laid out a dress for Julie, but the nurse shook her head.

  ‘I’m here on duty,’ she said quietly. ‘I only brought a dress because Mrs. Crossman said she couldn’t face a uniform over the dinner table.’ They smiled at each other, united in respect for and admiration of the mistress of the house. By the time Julie was ready to go down she and Edna, as she discovered the girl’s name to be, were quite good friends.

  Julie felt a little shy on entering the huge dining-room, but Andrew Crossman came to meet her, carrying a glass.

  ‘Sherry?’ he asked pleasantly. ‘My wife’s choice for you ... if it doesn’t suit—’

  ‘That will be perfect,’ Julie assured him, accepting the glass and allowing him to conduct her to the wide window seat where they chatted amiably about the journey, the garden and all manner of such topics until the low-toned gong sounded and Lavinia rose, placing her hand on Garth’s arm.

  And ‘perfect’, Julie thought later that evening, was the key word for the entire evening. If only the remainder of her stay at Woodlands would be the same?

  CHAPTER VI

  When Julie awoke on the Thursday morning her first feeling was one of indefinable relief. She lay for a moment, ‘wondering why, after days of tense anxiety about Garth, she should suddenly have this sensation of freedom, this lightness of heart, and then laughed aloud, softly, at herself.

  It’s because of this place, she thought, and the whole atmosphere here. It’s made a difference to me ... and I know it will to him. He’ll begin to get really well again now, he can’t help himself, and Mr. and Mrs. Andy are anxious to do everything and anything to help.

  She hurried through her dressing and went to see what she could do to assist Garth. She found him in high spirits, exclaiming about the song of the birds under his window at dawn that morning and the lovely scents of the garden which had greeted him on waking.

  ‘I feel much better already,’ he confided as they were ready to go down for breakfast. ‘If you really meant what you said about helping me with my work I suggest we take some notepaper and things down to the summerhouse and start work before lunch.’

  ‘That will be fine,’ Julie assured him, ‘but you must take things steadily at first.’

  ‘You’re the nurse,’ he laughed, ‘and I promise I’ll abide by whatever pace you set!’

  The summer-house, Julie discovered, was a pleasant, well-built rotating little arbour by the side of the small ornamental lake. It did not take them long to settle down, and soon the pencil was flying in Julie’s fingers as Garth’s quick brain detailed all the ideas which had been piling up in his mind during his enforced spell of inactivity.

  They worked until Edna came to tell them that lunch was about to be served. As they entered the dining-room Mrs. Andy’s face lit up with pleasure as she saw the bright, alert gaze of her favourite nephew, the new lightness to his step, the gay note in his voice.

  ‘You seem much better already,’ she observed. ‘The next step is to get your hands free of those plasters, and then,’ she smiled at Julie, ‘I expect Nurse will be busy with the wax baths, the massage and all the rest of it that will help to give you your own freedom of movement once again.’ She frowned suddenly, looking at Julie and adding: ‘I really can’t go on calling you Nurse while you’re more or less a guest in my house, dear. I know you so well by this time, all the cases in which I’ve had a particular interest appear to have been in your care. Would you mind very much if I used your name?’

  ‘Of course not,’ Julie smiled. ‘It’s Julie. But please don’t be surprised if I don’t respond at once, just at first. You see, since Roger has been away I so seldom hear my name ... in the course of a usual day, I mean. I’m more accustomed to being just “Nurse”, and,’ she gestured down at her trim uniform, ‘somehow it wouldn’t seem right to be “Julie” in these.’

  ‘And that’s another point.’ Mrs. Andy began to pour their coffee. ‘I do appreciate the need for discipline, uniform and all the rest of it at the hospital, but here I see no reason why in this lovely summer weather you shouldn’t wear some light, cool dresses.’

  ‘I’m here on duty, Mrs. Crossman,’ Julie reminded the old lady gently. ‘I don’t think Matron wou
ld be pleased...’

  ‘I’ll telephone her this afternoon.’ Mrs. Andy disposed of that objection almost before Julie had time to voice it. ‘I have to ring her, anyway.’

  By the time she and Garth returned to the summerhouse Julie had more than grown accustomed to being ‘Julie’ on duty, and smiled to herself as she reflected how, in her own home as elsewhere, Mrs. Andy had a charming way of getting things to go the way she wanted them. As they settled down Garth looked across at her, gesturing for her to light him a cigarette.

  ‘Am I allowed to call you Julie too?’ he asked. ‘I’d feel a great deal better if I were, not so much of an invalid and so on. I don’t feel like an invalid,’ he explained, ‘and indeed I’m not one, but to have to call for “Nurse” repeatedly makes one feel that way.’

  ‘Then by all means call me Julie,’ she laughed, but she felt a faint stirring of unease as she spoke. What was Tansy Maitland going to think when, tomorrow evening, she arrived at Woodlands and found her fiancée and his nurse on terms of Christian names, and on such a very friendly basis?

  I hope she’ll realize it’s none of my doing, Julie thought anxiously. If she thought I was trying to ... attract Garth I’m sure she’d be angry ... and I wouldn’t do that, not when he belongs to someone else.

  ‘Penny for your thoughts, Julie?’ Garth was watching her through spirals of smoke from his cigarette. ‘You look worried.’

  ‘I’m not.’ Julie told the little lie with more ease than she had expected. ‘Just wondering how long it will be before Mr. Greensmith comes to take your hands out of plaster.’

  ‘Can’t be too soon for me,’ Garth remarked feelingly. ‘I’ve never felt so helpless in my life before. I expect I was, when I was a baby’—he tried to make light of the matter, but she could sense the underlying frustration in his tone—‘but that’s a long time ago and I don’t remember much about it. It’s not a nice feeling, Julie, to be dependent upon others all the time for every little thing I need doing ... things one uses one’s hands for all the time and doesn’t normally even notice.’

  ‘Be thankful there are people willing to help you,’ Julie chided gently, ‘and that it will be, God willing, only for a little while. I’m not preaching, but try to remember there are men who were wounded in the war years who still haven’t their limbs or the proper use of them. They are the ones who should grumble, and yet they seldom do. I know, I did a spell in a rehabilitation hospital once, and they had a lesson for all of us, even people like myself.’

  ‘Why did you become a nurse?’ he asked. ‘It’s something I’ve often wondered about girls like yourself. Fancy wanting to spend all your days amongst the sick and maimed, when you’re young and healthy and should be enjoying some of the best years of your own life ...’

  ‘That’s partly why,’ Julie told him gravely. ‘It’s because I’m young and healthy and strong I feel I ought to help those who are not. I can’t explain it, there aren’t words ... or else I don’t know enough to express what I mean, but I feel those who can help should ... and in some strange way that sort of seems a “thank you” to the Almighty for one’s own good luck...’

  ‘I know what you mean,’ Garth said slowly, and she knew that he did understand, that he knew what she was trying to say, no matter how inarticulate she believed herself to be on the subject. ‘That’s Aunt Lavinia’s philosophy too, and a jolly good one, in my opinion. I’m lucky to have her as an aunt and you as a nurse,’ he grinned at her disarmingly. ‘In fact I’m lucky all round. Now, are we ready to go back to work?’

  They worked steadily on until Mrs. Andy came to call them for dinner. Edna had brought out a tray at teatime and they had eaten the dainty sandwiches and enjoyed their tea, relaxing in the shade. After dinner they watched a play on lie enormous television screen since Garth could not take part in a game of cards because he could not as yet use his hands. They went to bed early, and Julie, helping Garth to undress, felt a glow of satisfaction as he gave a tired but contented sigh and commented: ‘A few days like this and I’ll have caught up on all the notes and things I wanted to write and be ready for the actual work on the drawing-board as soon as I can use my hands.’

  ‘You won’t do much at first,’ Julie cautioned him. ‘You’ll have to get back into it gradually,’ but her heart was singing with thankfulness for him when she left him and retired to her own room to slip between the cool, lavender-scented sheets and relax, falling quickly into a deep, refreshing sleep.

  Friday began in much the same way, but shortly after lunch Edna came in to say that Miss Maitland had telephoned and would be along a little earlier than she had anticipated. Would it be all right if she arrived in time for dinner?

  ‘Tell her yes, of course, Edna,’ Mrs. Andy said promptly, but in some strange way it seemed that a constraint had fallen over the little party. Garth did not mention the other girl until he and Julie were once more back in the summer-house and she was waiting for him to tell her what it was he wanted written down next. Folding his bandaged hands in his lap, he began to speak, but it was not about the Civic Development he began to talk.

  ‘Tell me something about Miss Maitland—Tansy—will you, Julie, please?’ he begged. ‘It must sound foolish to you, but I can’t remember her at all. I know I’ve met her, that she’s vaguely familiar, but nothing more than that. Yet the ring she’s wearing—the one on her engagement finger—Mr. Greensmith says I put it there, that she’s my fiancée, so it doesn’t really make sense that I don’t remember more about her, does it?’

  Except, Julie thought swiftly, that Ian was right when he commented that perhaps Tansy was something, someone, he subconsciously wants to forget, and his subconscious is taking this way of obliterating all memory of her and that incident just before the trailer hit them ... Aloud she commented: ‘I agree it doesn’t appear to make much sense, Garth, but I know very little about things like loss of memory, amnesia and so on. I only know there are often cases with even more peculiar reactions than your own. I know that often the whole memory returns suddenly, some incident, maybe a few words, will bring everything back to you, but nobody can guarantee when and how that will happen, or even if it will happen at all.’

  ‘We must wait and see, then, as some famous person or other once remarked,’ Garth rejoined, smiling, then he was suddenly serious again. ‘But please help me through the beginnings, Julie; I’m a little nervous of what’s going to happen. I don’t know why, but somehow I got the feeling Aunt Lavinia isn’t too pleased about something or other in connection with ... Tansy.’

  ‘Sheer imagination,’ Julie scoffed, trying to restore his lightness of mood, but although he responded at the time it was not difficult to sense the strain through which he was passing when at length Tansy did arrive.

  It was partly the girl’s own fault, Julie told herself a little while later. Tansy had arrived looking very attractive but wearing a dress far more suitable for a day at Ascot than for a simple country weekend. She had crowned her curly head with an enormous hat weighed down by a collection of exotic, artificial flowers, and beside Mrs. Andy, in her cool, lilac-shaded dress and Julie still in her trim uniform, she looked like some exotic flower from a hot-house or a tropical garden. That the girl was nervous there was not the slightest doubt. Her normally husky, low-pitched voice was high and shrill, sounding completely unnatural. Her words came in little breathless rushes, and her conversation was a series of exclamations.

  Watching her patient, Julie felt sorry for them both, for the young man to whom this meeting was so evidently a strain and for the girl who was trying too hard to cover her own nervousness and to act towards him with a proprietorial air which sat oddly on her shoulders and which he so obviously resented.

  That evening there was no quiet watching of the television. One of Tansy’s friends was appearing on a show on the other channel, and out of deference to her desire to watch the somewhat noisy show the rest of them sat in silence, the only person who apparently enjoyed the performance be
ing Tansy herself, although Andrew did laugh now and then at some of the more subtle jokes.

  It was a relief when Edna brought in the supper drinks, and although Tansy protested that it was ‘too early for bed ... I couldn’t sleep for hours and hours yet ...’ Julie felt quite justified in being firm in her statement that, as yet, Garth must rest as much as possible.

  He was by no means relaxed as she helped him prepare for bed, and it had been no help that Tansy had offered to take her place. Before Garth could voice the somewhat vehement response Julie could sense trembling on his tongue, she had made herself intervene placatingly.

  ‘I’m sorry, Miss Maitland,’ she said, ‘but Mr. Holroyd is my patient, and I’m responsible to Mr. Greensmith for his physical care while we’re here. Do try to understand.’

  Tansy gave in with ill grace, and at last, worn out emotionally, Julie retired to her own room, wondering why she was already looking forward to Sunday evening when Tansy’s visit would be ended and she would be left to care for Garth in her own way once again. The old story, she chided herself, turning restlessly. I’m getting too involved. But the thought was cold comfort as she sought in vain for sleep.

  If Friday evening had been a strain Julie was to find there was worse to come when Tansy was with them throughout the whole of Saturday. Accustomed to early rising, Julie was awake and dressed by seven o’clock, awaiting Garth’s summons to his room to help him dress. Somehow some of the exuberance had gone from him that morning, and he scarcely made any comment as she deftly fixed his tie and gave him a final, approving glance.

  ‘How much longer do you think this will go on?’ He waved his hands helplessly. ‘Tansy thinks I ought to be able to do a little more for myself by this time, and so do I,’ he ended defiantly.

  Julie summoned all her years of training to her aid as she made herself smile and comment lightly: ‘Perhaps Tansy would care to take up that point with Mr. Greensmith when next she sees him. I only obey orders, because I know I’ve been given them for a very good reason—your benefit!’