Parker's Island

by Kimberly Schwartzmiller

  “Delaney, may I come in?”

  I knew there was no use in saying no, so I invited him in.

  I was standing by the window trying to figure out how to explain to him what I was feeling, when he handed me a cup of hot chocolate. “Thank you,” I said, and smiled at him. I knew that he wanted answers as to why I was so upset and suddenly I had a knot in my stomach and set the cup down on the window sill.

  “So, are you going to tell me what this is all about?” he asked, sitting on the edge of my bed.

  I stared out the window and said, “Do you know how many strangers come up to me and touch my belly?”

  “People like pregnant bellies. They don’t mean to offend you,” he said.

  “I know. I don’t usually mind.”

  “But you did today?”

  I felt the tears start and he was instantly by my side. “What is it?” he asked, putting his arm around me.

  “She looked at me like you and I had shared this beautiful secret. I’m having a baby and she assumed that we were in love and that we had shared this wonderful…moment together. But the truth is, there was no wonderful moment. There was only a horrible image of…his face, leering at me before I passed out again. Every night I go to sleep and I see his face. Every night I wake up terrified; every night!” I sobbed.

  “I’m so sorry,” he said, pulling me into his arms.

  He let me cry for a few minutes. “It’s not just the nightmare, and the lady at the beach didn’t do anything wrong. She was sweet. Of course she would assume that the baby was yours. Everyone does. Even Hailey thought she was yours. But that’s not fair to you, either.”

  “I told you a long time ago that I don’t care what anyone thinks, except you. But there’s something else bothering you, isn’t there?” he asked.

  “Sometimes it’s just too easy to pretend that this really is our life. I keep trying to ignore the obvious, to find some peace, but I know that in a few months I’m going to have to leave. I don’t know if I can leave you. Not again.”

  “You don’t have to leave. I want you to stay, both of you.”

  “And what, play house? This isn’t your problem,” I said, looking down at my growing belly.

  “Is that what you think we’re doing now? Do you think I just want you to stay because I need a cook or a maid?” he asked, offended.

  “No, of course not, but it’s just been so easy to forget…”

  “Forget what?”

  “This,” I said, rubbing my stomach and thinking of Chad.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I told you; sometimes it’s just too easy to pretend that this life with you is real, and she’s…ours.”

  “It is real.”

  “No, it’s not. We’re sharing a lie.”

  “Delaney, there are no lies between us. We’re just…”

  “We’re just what, Logan…friends?”

  “You know how I feel about you.”

  “And you know how I feel about you. We spend every day together, convincing everyone that we’re a happy young couple. At night we share dinner and a movie, and then we each go to separate rooms.”

  “That has to be enough for now. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t think about following after you every night. I promise you it won’t be like this forever.”

  “I know I don’t have any right to ask, but I need…you.”

  “I’m right here,” he said, pulling me close.

  I looked into his eyes, “Please make me forget,” I begged.

  “Delaney, oh God, I can’t. You don’t know how much I want you, but I can’t. Not yet,” he said, finally understanding what I was asking of him.

  “Please? Just one night?”

  “That won’t be enough…for either of us. I’m not free to give you that moment. Not yet.”

  I took a step back from him and said, “I had no right to ask you to break your vows. It was wrong.” I was shaking, not sure what to do at that moment.

  “You think I won’t make love to you because of Martina?”

  “I know you don’t love her, but she is your…wife.”

  “I don’t give a damn about Martina, or honoring that stupid vow. I care about you and what you need.”

  “I told you what I…need.”

  “You need me to be free from all of this…this mess, first. I can’t let you bear anymore guilt than you already needlessly place on yourself. I could give in, and we’d share something wonderful tonight…but what happens in the morning? You’d hate yourself, and I can’t let that happen. I love you too much to sleep with you tonight, knowing that I have a wife. I can’t make you the other woman, even though to me, you’re the only one.”

  I thought about what he said, and knew he was right. “I know you’re right. It’s just…so hard being so close to you and not being able to…”

  “Delaney, I love you more than anything, and believe me, if I was a free man tonight I wouldn’t have hesitated. It’s killing me to have you here and not be able to touch you and hold you all night, every night. But I swear to you, I will make this right.”

  He took my hand and led me to my bed. “You need to sleep,” he said, and pulled back the blankets.

  “I can’t. I can’t close my eyes.”

  “Slide in,” he said, taking his shoes off.

  “What are you doing?” I asked, praying he had changed his mind, not caring what the morning would bring.

  “Just scoot,” he said.

  I slid over to the middle of the bed and stared up at him with such longing. I ached for him, all the time. He slid in next to me and wrapped his arms around me. “Can you close your eyes, now?”

  “Yes. Now I can,” I said, snuggling into his warmth.

  “Try to sleep. You’re exhausted.”

  I rolled to my side and laid my head on his chest. I was so tired, and he was so comforting. I finally drifted off to sleep. I awoke a few hours later, screaming. Logan was gone. I looked around and realized it was still dark. I knew he couldn’t have left yet; the ferries didn’t run that early.

  I ran downstairs needing to see him, but he wasn’t in the house. “Logan?” I called, wondering where he had gone.

  I turned on the lights in the kitchen and decided I’d make some tea and wait for him. He came in a few minutes later, dripping with sweat. “Are you okay? What happened?”

  “Nothing. I was just jogging on the beach. I do it all the time.”

  “I’ve never seen you go jogging,” I said, wondering when he found the time.

  “I um, I usually jog…late at night,” he said, looking a little nervous.

  “Why?”

  He walked over to me and put his hand on my cheek. He sighed and said, “Every night, I watch you walk into that bedroom and you don’t know how much I want to follow you, but I can’t. So I go jogging!”

  “Maybe I should take up jogging,” I smiled.

  “Probably not a good idea in your condition,” he grinned.

  “No, probably not,” I said, looking down at what once was a small waistline. “Would you like some tea?”

  “No, thanks. I have to get ready to go. You should be asleep. Did I wake you when I left?”

  “No.”

  “Nightmare?”

  I nodded, knowing it would do no good to lie.

  “Delaney, do you trust me?”

  “What kind of question is that?”

  “Do you?” he pressed.

  “You know I do,” I said.

  “Then hang in there just a little longer. I promise you that everything will work out. Please believe me,” he said, and then ran upstairs to shower and change.

  I watched him drive away, and for the first time in months, I was alone. “Well, I have you, don’t I, girl?” I said, reaching down to pet Duchess.

  I wandered through the house straightening this and cleaning that. I decided to go to town and get a few things for dinner. Logan said he’d be home by dinner time and we’d go out, but I wa
nted to stay in and just be with him.

  The day dragged on forever, even the beach wasn’t much of a distraction until Duchess pulled me into the water, chasing after a seagull. We were both soaking wet when we got back to the house and were met at the door by Logan.

  “You’re back!” I said, grinning.

  “Um, yeah,” he said, turning away from me.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “You better go get cleaned up or I’m going to have to go jogging early tonight,” he said, a bit out of breath.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Delaney, trust me.”

  “I thought we had this discussion this morning. I do trust you.”

  “If you don’t go change out of those wet clothes, you won’t be able to trust me,” he said, turning once again to look at me and then took a deep breath.

  I looked down and realized my wet clothes clung to me, leaving not much to the imagination. I might as well have not been wearing a bra for all the good it did. “Oh, no, I walked back like this. Everyone must have seen…” I realized, trying to remember how many people I passed on my short journey back to the house.

  “Delaney, so help me, if you don’t go change…”

  “What? What are you going to do?” I asked, playing with him now.

  “Please,” he pleaded, with closed eyes.

  “Okay, I’m sorry. I’ll grab a quick shower and then I’ll come down and cook dinner.”

  I came back downstairs a short time later and Logan was gone. I thought maybe he did go jogging. I was immediately remorseful. I started cooking dinner, knowing I needed to apologize to him. He came downstairs a few minutes later. He had showered and changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt which did nothing to decrease my desire for him.

  “Oh, I thought maybe you did go jogging.”

  “Nope. This time I went straight for a cold shower,” he grinned.

  “I didn’t mean to tease you,” I said.

  “It’s not your fault. You can’t help the effect you have on me.”

  “You must be pretty desperate to want a pregnant woman,” I said, looking down at my swollen belly, realizing my stomach had once again grown over-night.

  “There’s nothing I want more,” he said, longingly.

  I looked at him and knew he meant it. “If you don’t stop looking at me like that, then I’m going to need a cold shower.”

  “Sorry,” he said, shaking his head to clear his thoughts. “I thought we were going out?” he asked.

  “I didn’t want to share you tonight. I promise to be good, though.” I said, handing him a salad. “How was your meeting?” I asked.

  “I’ll tell you all about it, after dinner,” he smiled.

  “What made you go in? You said you hate it there now, because…she’s there.”

  “I didn’t have to see her. The meeting was somewhere else.”

  “Oh?” I asked, even more curious now.

  “Let’s eat. I promise to tell you all about it later.”

  After dinner we washed the dishes together and then headed into the living room. “Would you like to watch a movie?” I asked, curious about his days’ events, but not wanting to pry.

  “Not tonight. Come sit with me. We need to talk,” he said and patted the seat next to him on the couch.

  I assumed that what he wanted to talk about had something to do with my actions from the previous night. I sighed and sat down next to him.

  “Delaney, I…”

  “I’m sorry, Logan,” I said, interrupting him.

  “For what?”

  “For what I put you through last night and for teasing you today. I had no right to ask you for…anything. You were right. I know that.”

  “You don’t have to apologize. You were honest. I can’t blame you for that.”

  “Logan, please don’t think that I just wanted you to get rid of the image of…him. I want you. I always have. I want you every time I see you,” I blushed, “But I’ll wait. I promise I won’t throw myself at you, again.” I meant every word. I just hoped that I could keep my promise.

  “I’m sorry to hear that,” he said.

  “What?” I asked, confused.

  “Delaney, I don’t want to go jogging tonight,” he smiled at me, and touched my cheek.

  “I don’t understand,” I said, completely lost now.

  “I filed for divorce today. Martina will have the documents tomorrow.”

  “What? But, you’ll lose everything!” I said, standing up, and then pacing the room.

  “The only thing I can’t lose is you.”

  “Please don’t do this! You can’t put this on me! I can’t take it! I never should have come here. Your mother…”

  “STOP! Right now!” he said, grabbing my arms. “I don’t care about the stupid company, anymore. This was MY decision, MINE! I love you and I can’t be without you ever again. I would have seen my attorney months ago to draw up the papers, but he’s been out of the country. I made my decision long ago, Delaney. I was going to do it when I came back to get you and found you with Brian. You were absolutely right when you told me that my mother wouldn’t want me to hold onto her company and let the love of my life slip away.”

  I was crying then, huge tears of joy. “Are you sure you’re willing to give up everything…for me?” I asked.

  “What am I giving up? I have you, I don’t need anything else. She can take my company, but she can’t touch this island or my trust fund. We’re set for life, Delaney. You won’t ever want for anything, and our child will never want for anything.”

  “Our child?”

  “She might as well be. I’m already her father, Delaney. I love her. She’s a part of you. You can’t look me in the eye and tell me you’re going to give her up. I know you better than that. You love her, too.”

  “But she’s not really yours,” I sniffled.

  “She will be after tonight!” he said breathlessly and pulled me into his arms. I had never imagined a kiss being more wanted, more needed or more perfect. I fell against him, finally able to taste those exquisite lips. Somehow we made it to his bed and after hours of making love, I finally fell into a deep, peaceful sleep wrapped in Logan’s arms. And the only dream I had, made me smile when I awoke.

  Chapter Nine: Martina

  “Good morning,” Logan said when I opened my eyes.

  “Yes it is!” I smiled.

  “You look rested, finally.”

  “I’m very well rested, thank you. In fact, I think I could use a little more exercise now.” I reached up and kissed him.

  “You want to go jogging with me?” he grinned and then kissed me again.

  “I’m pretty sure that you’re going to be way too tired to go jogging, ever again.” I pulled him back down to me.

  Kissing Logan was better than I had ever imagined. I was completely lost in those lips when I heard a woman’s voice:

  “DIVORCE! Are you sure she’s worth it?” Martina snarled from the bedroom doorway.

  Logan saw the look of terror in my eyes. He leaned over me and said, “She can’t hurt me, Delaney. Please don’t worry. I knew she’d get the papers today, but I never thought she’d actually come here. It’s okay,” he said, looking directly into my eyes and gently brushing my hair off of my face.

  “Logan!?” the woman snapped when he didn’t immediately acknowledge her.

  He still didn’t move. He didn’t take his eyes off me. “What do you want, Martina?” I was shaking and he was stroking my arm.

  “I just wanted to introduce myself to ‘the other woman’!”

  He sat up then and said, “She’s the only woman, Martina. I don’t love you. You know that.”

  “Well, since you’re being so rude, I’ll introduce myself. Hello, I’m Martina BARNETT, Logan’s wife; and you are?” she said with a slight Spanish accent.

  “Martina, I’ll meet you downstairs in a minute,” he growled at her.

  “Oh, I think she should hear this, Da
rling.”

  “DOWNSTAIRS!” he shouted. I had never heard him raise his voice. I jumped.

  She walked over to the bed then and I looked up at the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She had perfect features with high cheekbones and the longest, thickest black hair imaginable. She was rubbing her “pregnant belly” as if she was trying to convince me that she was carrying Logan’s baby. She had to be quite a bit older than Logan; 25 or so, I thought.

  I had the sheet pulled up high around me and was leaning into Logan.

  “I’m sorry; I didn’t get your name?” she sneered.

  “I’m, um, I’m Delaney Miller,” I stammered, finally finding my voice.

  “Delaney, you do know that you’re sleeping with my husband, don’t you?”

  “Martina, what do you want?” Logan asked.

  “I want you, Dear. What else?”

  “Martina, please let me get dressed and I’ll meet you downstairs.”

  “I’m going to take you to the cleaners. You know that, right?” she told him, with a very ominous smile.

  “Take the company, I don’t care! You can have it, all of it!”

  “Oh, I’m going to take more than that. You cheated on your very pregnant wife, with this…this young girl. What will everyone think?” she asked, shaking her head gently and waving a finger in the air.

  “What are they going to think when I ask for a paternity test?”

  “Go ahead! In fact, I dare you!”

  “Martina, please just go. Our lawyers will take care of this. I’m not fighting you for anything.”

  “I don’t want your company! You know what I want!”

  “Yes, I do. But I can’t stay married to you for another two years. I’m sorry. You’re going to have to find someone else to provide you with citizenship.”

  “You really think this is still about citizenship?” she asked, a bit softer now.

  “What else, then? What do you want?” he asked, rubbing his temples.

  She closed her eyes and sighed, “I want what she has.”

  I took a deep breath, knowing then that she never really cared about keeping her green card. She only wanted him.

  “Martina, you knew this was a business proposition, nothing more. I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you in any way. But I don’t love you. I have been completely faithful to the vow we took until yesterday, when I filed for divorce. I’m sorry if you thought that holding me to our agreement would someday change my mind and we’d become a happy couple. I love Delaney, please understand that. You are a smart, beautiful woman. You can have any man you want.”