Subtle Reminders

by D. J. Pierson

  “It’s been six years and eight months.”

  “That’s exactly why we’re worried,” he mumbled.

  Grabbing the paper from where Vince dropped it on the counter, I went back outside. Deep down, I hated how everyone was treating me all of a sudden, and the feeling settling in my stomach irritated the shit out of me. Did they all know something I didn’t? Vince said he only talked to BC when he felt the need to annoy Lex and answered her phone. Even then, it didn’t take long for her to rip it out of his hand. Lex definitely gossiped, so anything she heard would be relayed to him. Could the girl I spent over six years with and planned on marrying really be so different? I found it extremely hard to believe.

  Spending twenty minutes alternating between thinking and glancing over the instruction list one more time made my head hurt. Fuck it! If she left me all those years ago, it was probably for the best. Shannon still had to go, but I had to accept the fact that BC and I were done. The last month was just me grasping at the past. As soon as I could get Alexa alone, I’d tell her to forget the whole damn thing. The news would make her happier and less stressed. She didn’t need my hopeless ass driving her crazy. Deciding there was no time like the present, I crumpled the paper into a ball, as if the action emphasized my decision, and returned to the house to locate my phone. I’d text her so she’d know before she got home.

  “They’re here,” Vince said, hurrying out the front door. Not having Lex home for one night must’ve sucked for him. What would he do if she didn’t come back at all?

  I followed him as far as the doorway because I needed to help bring in food and other things from their cars, but I froze. For the first time in way too long, I saw BC. She was even more beautiful than I remembered. More beautiful than any picture could justify. Knowing she was near, the organ in the center of my chest sprang to life. It would only ever beat for her. When she glanced up, our eyes met and she didn’t look away. It appeared she may have been just as paralyzed as I was. At that moment, there was one thing of which I could be absolutely certain. Regardless of how much time had gone by, I loved her. I loved that girl more than anyone or anything and there was no way in hell I’d let her leave me again.

  My first full day at home couldn’t have started out any better. Dad knew he’d find Lex in my room, so he woke us up with breakfast in bed, using our old trays from when we were kids. Mom always had trouble getting rid of things that belonged to us. On the plate were scrambled eggs with cheese and bacon, and home fries. Two slices of buttered toast, both cut diagonally, were on one side, and a napkin with utensils was on the other. Not wanting to spill any, he carried in glasses of orange juice separately. When I saw the ice floating in mine, tears clouded my vision. It seemed like a ridiculous thing to get mushy over, but Dad remembered just how I liked it.

  Lex and I ate in my room, while Mom and Dad were busy in the kitchen preparing food for the party. Even though we offered to help, they refused. They wanted us to have as much time together as possible. We took our time eating, chatting about some of the people who’d be at Lex’s. She updated me on what was new with everyone, probably because she thought if she caught me up to speed, there would be less of a reason for me to talk with anyone else, meaning I’d be glued to her more. My sister was extremely selfish, but I didn’t care.

  After we finished eating, I jumped in the shower first because Lex made a habit out of exhausting the hot water. Mom had bought fluffy towels and had them set on the counter. Being spoiled was one of the reasons I was so excited about coming home, but I began thinking they were going above and beyond. Did they have some hidden agenda, or had they simply missed me that much? When did I become such a horrible daughter? Why hadn’t they disowned me yet? I knew how lucky we were to have such amazing parents. Sure, while growing up, Mom and Dad tended to be more strict than most of our friends’ parents, but we never doubted how they felt about us.

  Jealousy wasn’t something I had all that much experience with, but listening to my mom and sister talk about the things they did together wore at my heart. I didn’t blame either of them. If I had to do it all over again, the decision I made to stay away and protect them, no matter the cost to me, would be the same. They didn’t deserve to feel the pain. Until I moved on from what happened, that was how it had to be. Before falling asleep at night, I always hoped the next day would come with a sense of comfort. That was all I wanted. I already accepted the fact I’d never know why. There were times life wouldn’t give us the straightforward answers we sought, regardless of how desperately we wished for it.

  Mom met me in my room, insisting I try on the dress for the wedding. Lex retrieved the silver heels she’d picked up. They fit perfectly, but the dress had to be hemmed a couple inches. When my sister suddenly felt the need to try on her gown, using the excuse she wanted to show Mom how our dresses looked side-by-side, we amused her.

  “What the hell am I going to do next week?” Mom asked, getting emotional.

  “Probably cry harder than you are right now,” Lex mocked, putting an arm around each of us. “I’m so glad my family will be together for this. Thanks for coming home, Brie.”

  “Thanks for asking me to be part of your special day.”

  “If you moved back, you could be part of our every day.” My sister smirked at me in the mirror.

  “Don’t push her, Alexa,” Mom warned. “Now, get those gowns back on the hangers before the catfight starts. My sewing capabilities aren’t good enough to fix the mess you two can create.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lex and I said at the same time, setting off a round of laughter. Mom rolled her eyes, trying to hide her grin.

  It took forever for Vince to send the message saying it was safe to bring Lex home, so it was a good thing Dad excelled at procrastination. At one point, Mom distracted Lex, and he snuck me out to the garage. Hiding from my little sister was usually entertaining, but she worried stuff wouldn’t be ready for the party. Dad showed me the car he was restoring. Nothing car-related interested me, but I pretended to care. Thankfully, Vince texted Dad within a few minutes of us being out there.

  “Time to go,” Dad said, dropping the hood.

  When we returned to the kitchen, I blurted out, “Why are we still here? Shouldn’t we be on our way by now?”

  Lex whipped around. “Are you serious? Haven’t I been saying this for the last hour?”

  “What are we waiting for then?” I teased. Frustrated, she threw her arms in the air and stomped out of the kitchen.

  We carried the food out to Dad’s car. When I went to grab my keys, Lex handed me a bag. “You’re riding with me so I can keep you hostage. Here are your things for the night.”

  “No way,” Mom argued. “Brielle stays with us.”

  “Not tonight.”

  “Alexa!”

  “Look, lady!” Mom gasped, and Dad fought off a smug smile. “You will have her all to yourself when I leave for my honeymoon in a week, so back off. Besides, she’s going to want to stay at my house because the fun really starts after all the old people leave.”

  “Do not think for one second you are old enough not to be punished. Married or not, I’m still your mother.”

  Lex bounced over to her and kissed Mom’s cheek. “I know. I also know you love me so much, you’ll let me have a night with my big sister.”

  “You used to be so sweet,” Mom responded in defeat. No one won against Lex. After all, she was the baby of the family.

  “I still am.” Lex motioned for me to get into the car. Not wanting to get in the middle of their tiff, I glanced at Mom for permission. She smiled and winked, nodding.

  I shook my head. “Visiting is stressful as hell.”

  As Alexa parked her SUV next to Vince’s car a few feet from the garage, I took in the sweetness of her house. The light beige siding was accented with black shutters. The porch ran from the edge of the garage to the opposite end of the house. Two wooden chairs with a table in between occupied
the space in front of one window, while a white two-seat glider sat before the other. A homemade wreath, no doubt constructed by my talented sister, hung from the door, and curtains swayed in the open windows on both floors of the home. Shrubs and flowers filled the gardens scattered about the yard.

  Climbing out of the car, I noticed the house next door. It was white with charcoal gray shutters and a wraparound porch. When I saw the “For Sale” sign, I briefly daydreamed how living next to my sister had always been a hope of mine. Perhaps in some other lifetime.

  “Vince has only been in the neighborhood a few months and the neighbors are already moving out?” I said as we waited for my parents. Dad had backed in behind Lex, making it easier to get the food out of his trunk.

  Lex smiled. “No one has lived there yet. The inside isn’t even done. The people who were going to buy it backed out before we closed. Why? Interested in moving back to Jersey?”

  “Not anytime soon,” I mumbled.

  “That’s a shame. Imagine how much fun it would be for our kids to grow up together,” she said as a dog came sprinting around the corner of the house. The extremely excited pile of black fur bounced up to us wagging its tail so hard, it almost fell over.

  “You got a puppy?!” I asked, falling to my knees to give the poor thing some attention. Ever since I was little, I’d wanted a black Lab, but we never were able to convince Mom to let us get any kind of animal. The dog she had as a kid crossed Rainbow Bridge when she was sixteen, and she said she couldn’t take the heartbreak all over again. I only ever told one person what breed of dog I wanted, so it was purely coincidental Lex liked the same kind.

  “No, I didn’t get a dog. We don’t have time for that.” She scratched behind the dog’s ears, then headed to my dad’s car. “I let her visit because not only is she cuter than her owner, she’s also housebroken and better behaved,” she explained over her shoulder. If she didn’t belong to my sister, whose was she? That’s when I saw a brand new SUV sitting at the curb in front of the house. I only knew one person who swore he’d never own anything other than some type of Jeep.

  “What’s her name?” Please, please don’t say Maddie.

  “Maddie. Cute name for a dog, right?”

  That rotten bastard.

  The second night of summer vacation after my sophomore year of college, Joey and I were sprawled out across his bed. Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan took us out to dinner to welcome me home. Since Mom and Dad smothered me the previous night, Joey planned on keeping me under the covers until he went to work the next morning. I was perfectly content with that. Nothing felt better than being curled up next to him.

  As Joey’s fingers trailed along my cheek, I sighed contently. “What was that for?” he asked, throwing a leg over mine and using his thumb to turn my face toward him.

  “I’m just happy to be here.” I softly kissed his lips, then snuggled into his chest. “It sucks to go so long without seeing you.”

  He chuckled. “That’s your fault for picking an out-of-state fancy ass college.”

  “Once the paychecks roll in, which I’ll earn from my fancy ass degree, I doubt you’ll still be busting my chops about my choice of occupation.”

  “You know damn well I don’t give a shit about the money. I’d be perfectly happy if you stayed at home with our kids.”

  “Is that your plan? To keep me barefoot and pregnant?” I teased.

  “I’ll take you anyway I can have you. Being with you is all I care about.” He squeezed tighter and buried his head in my hair. “Speaking of this fancy ass college, what do you want me to buy you for a graduation gift?”

  “Graduation is two years away, Joey.”

  “I’m aware of how long it is until you come back to me and stay permanently. However, whatever you want will probably cost me, so I need to save up. Ideas, please.”

  “Well, if you’re serious…”

  “I am.”

  Excitedly, I sprang to a sitting position. He sighed at the distance between us, but allowed it so he could get the information he wanted. Joey relaxed back on the bed, extending his arm behind his head to support himself on the pillow. “I want a puppy.”

  “A puppy?”

  “Yes! I’ve always wanted a black Lab. A girl. We’ll name her Maddie. She’ll be our first baby. We might have to keep her here until we move out. Your parents won’t mind, will they? I’m not sure my mom will let her in our house, even if it’s only temporary. You know how she feels about animals. It’ll be so much fun! We can walk her together. We’ll take her to the dog park over by the high school. She can cuddle up with us at night…”

  “Seriously? You want a puppy?”

  “What’s wrong with a puppy? You like dogs.” I was disappointed at his reaction.

  “I love dogs. That’s just not the response I was expecting.”

  “And what’s that?”

  “I would’ve bet everything you would have said an engagement ring.” Returning to my spot next to him, I giggled. “Since when does talk about us getting married make you laugh?”

  “Why did you ask me what I wanted if you thought you knew?”

  “Don’t distract me. Why didn’t you ask for a ring?”

  “Sometimes I question your intelligence, Joey. Maybe being a police officer isn’t for you. It’s important to be able to think quickly, you know. Why the hell would I ask for something I already know I’m getting?”

  He flipped me over onto my back and hovered above me. The look on his face was anything but playful. “You want me to buy two graduation gifts?”

  “So you’re proposing at graduation? I thought you weren’t telling me when. It’s supposed to be a surprise, right?” I gloated as if I had figured out his secret plan.

  “Technically, I already proposed and you said yes. It just needs to be made official for everyone else. You bruised my ego a little when a ring wasn’t at the top of the list of things you want.”

  My arms wound around his neck, pulling him closer. “Like you said, I gave you my answer, Joey. Yesterday, today, tomorrow, or a hundred years from now, the answer will always be yes. Nothing needs to be official for anyone but us. As far as I’m concerned, we’re already married.”

  “If that’s the case, it’s a good thing my wallet is within reach because I’m about to make love to my wife.”

  A bang on the door momentarily interrupted us. “What do you want, Jack?” His brother was the only one brave enough to go near Joey’s bedroom door when I was there.

  “I heard Brie’s here. Open up.”

  “She’s busy. Go away.”

  “Fine. I’ll wait downstairs. It’ll probably only take you a minute or two.”

  An hour later, we joined Jack in the living room. Joey always took his time with me.

  “I gave you one night with my girl, Brie. That’s all you get,” Vince uttered on his way by. He lifted my baby sister off the ground, causing her to squeal.

  As my eyes rolled at his remark, a burning sensation bore into the side of my face. My entire body stiffened, still crouched down next to Maddie. Intuitively, I knew exactly who was causing the reaction. All I could think was if there was any type of higher being, Joey succumbed to the police officer stereotype of consuming more than his weight in doughnuts and he’d be as wide as the doorway he occupied. Unwillingly, I turned my head in his direction. Without permission, my eyes did a sweep of him from head to toe, then back to his face. A face that somehow managed to become more handsome than the first time I saw it. I forgot about the excited canine and stood. There seemed to be a pull between us, but I stopped myself after only one step. Son. Of. A. Bitch. His lips curled into an almost wicked grin as he moved out onto the porch and leaned against the railing in front of him. He had on tan shorts, a green t-shirt, and a baseball cap flipped backwards. The proof there were no higher beings of any sort stared back at me. Not only that, but I was suddenly very aware the devil truly existed. The bastard stole my soul. Then again, I was pretty sure that had
happened years ago.

  “BC.” Two damn letters from his perfect mouth and my body sprung to life. The amount of time we were apart wasn’t nearly enough to douse the fire. The sound of his voice alone pierced my heart. There was no place I wanted to be more than in his arms. Unfortunately, I had no right. I lost that when I failed him.

  “Hey, Joey,” I replied, almost shyly.

  He cleared his throat. I expected him to tell me to fuck off or, at the very least, how much of a bitch he thought I was, but he didn’t. “Sorry about my dog. She has this thing…” He took off the hat, ran a hand through his hair, then put it back on. “She just really likes people.”

  “I see that.” I turned back to Maddie, but she had moved on to someone who wasn’t ignoring her…my dad. Vince had set my sister back on her feet and they had their backs to me. “She’s adorable. How old is she?”

  “She’ll be a year next month.”

  “Sully,” Lex called. “Get your ass over here and help.”

  He sighed and mumbled something too low to be heard. I moved out of the way, giving him space, but the desire to touch him tore through me as he passed. I resisted by twisting my neck to face the garden. It was odd everyone acted as if it weren’t awkward as hell that Joey and I were seeing each other for the first time since breaking up. As Lex grabbed our bags out of her car, Dad, Vince, and Joey got everything from the trunk, and Mom collected a few things from the back seat. The only thing I did was quietly follow them inside as they chatted amongst themselves. Surprisingly, it was nice to see my parents talking to Joey just as they always had.

  Not wanting to let on how much the situation was getting to me, I stayed in the foyer and checked out the room to my right. It was fairly large with a high ceiling. Lex had mentioned how she couldn’t find furniture she liked for the living room, so she left it empty, refusing to settle for something with which she wasn’t happy. The carpet was neutral, so she could put anything in there. The steps were to my left, as well as a door that must lead to the garage. I happened to be peering up the stairs when a shriek came from the back of the house. By the time I reached the kitchen, my sister stood in the arched doorway to what I assumed was the dining room.