Subtle Reminders

by D. J. Pierson

  “What’s that have to do with telling him now?”

  “I don’t think his reaction would be any different. Besides, he has a lot more to lose now.”

  “So living four hours away is still what you want?”

  “It was never what I wanted.”

  “Then come home, Brie.”

  “Finding a new job making what I make wouldn’t be easy.”

  “You don’t need a job to live here.”

  I chuckled humorlessly. “Ah, yes. Your youngest daughter finally gets married and moves out only to have your older, failure of a daughter come back home.”

  “Brielle, nothing you’ve done makes you a failure.” I rested my head against the wall, awaiting the lecture. “Why do you think your father and I have no intention of leaving this house?” I shrugged. “Because it’s not just our home. It also belongs to you and your sister. I don’t care what the reason is. If either of you ever want to come home, we’ll be here for you.”

  “You say that now,” I teased.

  “I’m serious.” We both adjusted our position. The floor was extremely uncomfortable.

  “What the hell?” Dad asked as he came in from the garage, looking down the hall at us. “Why are you sitting down there?”

  Mom looked at me, silently questioning what we’d tell him. I shook my head, not wanting him involved at the moment. “I was just explaining to your daughter how she’s welcome to come home any time, under any circumstances. She seems to have forgotten.”

  He sat on the other side of me. “Whenever you want.”

  “Thanks, Dad, but don’t you agree that leaving Connecticut with no way of supporting myself at this age is a little unreasonable?”

  “Not if this is where you’d rather be.” Protesting would do no good. They’d clearly discussed this amongst themselves already. “You don’t have to decide either way right now. Think about it. I will tell you one thing, though. It’s been wonderful having you home.” He kissed my temple. “Regardless of what you choose to do, we’re always here for you with whatever you may need, Brie. Your happiness is a lot more important to us than you could imagine.” When Mom sniffed, Dad noticed she’d been crying. A concerned look filled his face. “Barb, you okay?”

  “I am,” she assured him. “However, I have no idea how I’m getting up from here.”

  Dad snickered. “Yeah, you’re probably screwed.” Mom reached over, playfully swatting at her husband. “I’m only kidding! I’ll help you…as soon as Brie helps me.”

  We eventually made it to the kitchen. I put together something small for myself for dinner, then retreated to my bedroom. After I sent a short text to my sister so she’d know I missed her, I settled in. A good night’s sleep would clear my head, allowing me to think things through. Potentially life-altering decisions needed to be made.

  The next morning started off nicely. Dad chauffeured us to the city. We took in some sights, had a nice lunch, and stopped at a few shops. When Mom first suggested the trip, I thought it was a parental tactic meant to provide them free range of bombarding me with reasons to move home. I was pleasantly surprised the topic didn’t surface once. Their opinion had already been heard, but I needed to make the best choice for me.

  Because Dad preferred to beat rush hour traffic, we were home by early afternoon. He also had to make a run to the auto parts store. Tuesday was his last day off, so he planned on spending it in the garage. Mom took a book to the couch, so I went upstairs to check in with Laney. She called me within a few minutes of my text.

  “How was the wedding?” She immediately jumped into the conversation when I answered.

  “Absolutely perfect.”

  “Of course it was. Did you cry?”

  “Just a little, but only for a second or two.” She found my response funny. “Lex did an amazing job with everything and she looked so beautiful. It’s hard to believe my little sister is married.”

  Laney sighed. “They grow up so fast.”

  “They do,” I chuckled. “How’s everything there?”

  “It’s okay.”

  “What do you mean okay? What happened?”

  “It’s nothing. I’m sure it was just a fluke and everything will be back to normal tomorrow.”

  “Laney, start explaining, or I’m packing my shit and coming back.” She didn’t need to know I wasn’t currently in possession of my car.

  “Why do you underestimate me? I handled it.” She sighed. “Well, Dr. Collins showed up late this morning.” Aidan was never late. In fact, he could usually be found in his office at least an hour before he was scheduled to be somewhere. “Once he got here, he was in rare form.”

  “How do you mean?” My stomach tightened.

  “He complained because his schedule for the week had him all over the place. Then the results on a specific patient took a while to be faxed, and he insisted I call for them…twice.” Laney quieted momentarily before continuing. “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about this, would you?”

  “Why would I?”

  “Okay, are you and I really going to play this game?”

  “What game?”

  “The one where you pretend you haven’t been seeing him outside of work, and the only time you take vacation, he has to leave town for the weekend.” I suddenly lost my voice. “Oh, come on, Brie. What happened?”

  “Who else knows?”

  “I don’t think anyone is as observant as I am.”

  “Observant or nosy?”

  “Either one,” she laughed. “Is his bad mood a reflection of things going well with you and the infamous Joe Sullivan?”

  “Laney…”

  “Just answer the question. It’s bad enough you kept the details about the hot doctor to yourself. The least you could do is share shit about the handsome cop, ex-boyfriend, love of your life, and whatever else he is.” I chuckled. “How long did it take for you to sleep with him?”

  “Well…” I began loosening up. Maybe it would be good to talk about him.

  “I knew it!” she cheered. “Spill it!”

  A creak startled me. When I looked at my door, Joey stood there, smiling. “I’m going to have to call you back,” I told Laney.

  “Is he there right now? He is, isn’t he?” My lack of response told her everything she wanted to know. “You’d better call me back!” she said, then hung up.

  “Hey,” I whispered, dropping my phone beside me.

  “Hi.” He made himself comfortable on my bed. I didn’t even have to say anything. It was as if he belonged there. He held out my keys. “Car’s all fixed.”

  “Thank you,” I mumbled, taking them.

  “No problem. I’m sorry it had to be in the first place.”

  “It wasn’t your fault, and you won’t be able to convince me otherwise. Let it go.”

  He grinned. “You’re cute when you’re serious.”

  “And you’re a pain in my ass all the time.”

  “True.”

  “Where’s Maddie?”

  “You realize I’ve been taking care of her without your input for some time, right?”

  “What’s wrong with me asking where she is?”

  “Jack’s going to our parents’ house for dinner, so he said he’d take her there.”

  “How come you aren’t going?”

  “I have better things to do.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “Such as?”

  “I’m taking you out,” he said, reaching over and shoving my knee. “Come on. Let’s go.” I didn’t ask where we were going or how long we’d be gone. It didn’t matter.

  It was early enough in the day that there weren’t too many people at the community park. Parents and their younger children had already spent time on the playgrounds and were gone. Soon, older kids would be showing up for various sporting events, and adults would get in an evening walk or pile into the stands to watch a game. The warm spring day attracted a group of teenagers to the basketball courts inside the main gate. I navigated
the car to the farthest end of the grounds and parked in the last lot. A large grassy field sat beside it.

  “Maddie’s going to be pissed at you,” BC commented, surveying the open space.

  “Not if you don’t tell her we were here.”

  “Oh, but I will. As soon as I see her.”

  “Nice,” I sarcastically mumbled. She met me at the trunk, still laughing. Seeing me lift my bag straightened her right out.

  “You put that filthy thing in my car?”

  “Yeah. Rat me out and I’ll do a lot worse.” BC followed me to the grass as I removed two gloves and a ball from the zippered portion, then dropped the bag. “Here.” I handed over my oldest, most prized possession and walked away. Guessing there was enough distance separating us, I turned. BC stared at the glove, as if she’d never seen one before. “You put your hand in it.” A look of annoyance crossed her face. “It’s so you can catch the ball.” I held up the round object.

  “No shit,” she grumbled. “I’m not sure what’s more impressive. The fact you still own this, or the fact you’re letting me use it.”

  “I’d give you whatever you asked for, B, even my favorite glove. Just don’t hurt it, okay?” She smiled sadly, but shook it off. As tempted as I was, I didn’t ask why.

  Some time passed while we threw the ball back and forth. At first, light tosses were exchanged. Then I challenged her by throwing pop-ups. BC repeated how she hadn’t played in years, but the girl was a natural. For people like us, playing ball came as easily as riding a bike.

  Like I expected, traffic soon filtered through the park, filling nearly every field. We put the bag back in the trunk. Thinking she’d request to be taken home, I was shocked when BC grabbed her wallet from the car. She pushed a hand through the strap, letting the leather dangle from her wrist.

  “Do you mind if we walk for a bit?” She spun the ring on her finger, avoiding eye contact.

  “Not at all.” She seemed unsure. When I gestured for her to pick the direction we went, she chose the track leading toward the center, most populated area of the park. Neither of us spoke until we stood outside the concession stand.

  “Want anything?” BC asked, stepping to the window when it was her turn. I shook my head. Under her breath, she whispered, “Joey, you have to pick something. It’s for the kids.” Parents volunteered their time to raise money. The proceeds went towards equipment, uniforms, and other expenses charged to the club during a season. Scanning the selection, I opted for water and a hot dog.

  “Two bottles of water, a hot dog, and a pretzel, please,” she told the woman on the other side of the counter. Once my dinner was loaded with the works, we headed down another path. “It’s nice here.”

  “It is, but it’s also usually pretty crowded.”

  “That’s okay. The more the merrier, right?”

  “Right.” The cynical response provoked a deliberate shove to my shoulder. “What?” Mocking innocence was a talent, but BC always saw through it.

  “Doesn’t work with me. Sorry.” She smiled, and my heart softened. The need to know where things were between us became overwhelming.

  “What’s going on here, B?” She looked away. “I’m not sure why you’re ignoring everything that’s happened over the last few days, but I think it’s time we talk.”

  “I’m not ignoring it. I’d just rather not bring it up.” She held out the last bite of pretzel to me and tossed a napkin in the garbage we passed.

  “Don’t distract me with food.” After eating the chunk of dough, I deposited my trash in the can, as well. “Now, back to us.”

  “Joey,” she sighed. “I really don’t want to do this right now.”

  “Too bad.” I took her hand and veered off the track to sit on a bench. She didn’t let go. As a matter of fact, she leaned in to leave a peck my cheek. Being the arrogant bastard she claimed, I adjusted so our lips aligned at the very last second. All too soon, she pulled back. “If you don’t want me to kiss you, you shouldn’t be here.”

  “It’s not that I don’t want you to.” Her soft voice trembled. I lifted her chin and gazed into her eyes. There was no visible regret, so I did what any fool in love would do and kissed her until she couldn’t breathe.

  “Clearly, it has nothing to do with not wanting me to kiss you, so what the hell is the problem?”

  She stood, bringing me with her. I willingly went, wishing I hadn’t when she chose the track that would take us back to the car.

  “I’m leaving in a few days, Joey. What’s the point?”

  “What’s the point? Really? That’s what you’re going with right now?” She could be the most frustrating human being on the planet. However, I refused to let her make it into an argument. “Do you ever think about moving home?”

  “I don’t allow myself to think about it.”

  “Why not?”

  “It hurts too much.”

  “Perhaps there’s a good reason for that.”

  “It doesn’t matter. Connecticut is where I live now.” It was interesting to me that she didn’t say it was her home.

  “People move.”

  She rolled her eyes. “You sound like my mom.”

  “I guess she knows what she’s talking about.” We reached the car, which was still pretty much isolated from everyone else. “If being there means that much to you, I’ll move.” Lex wouldn’t be the slightest bit happy.

  “Absolutely not! You have the best job here. I’d never let you leave it.”

  “Then what the hell am I supposed to do, B?”

  “Forget me,” she choked out.

  “Forget you?!” My blood pressure rose at an extremely fast rate. If that was the road she was traveling, fine. “Don’t you think I’ve fucking tried? How fucked up is it that I can’t?! You tore out my damn heart and threw it away like it never meant a damn thing to you.” I saw how deeply the words stung, but it was time for her to hear it. Or maybe it was simply time for me to say it. “The truth is, it’s not possible to forget you! I still remember how good it feels to hold you in my arms. How happy you make me. How fucking awesome we are together. So you can ask me to leave you alone, tell me to fuck off, whatever, but don’t you fucking dare ask me to forget you.” I said everything in a hurry, afraid I may not get it all out. Softening my voice, I added, “Remembering you…remembering us is all I have left. For me, loving you isn’t optional. You’re the one who stopped loving me, B.”

  It was her turn to get fired up. “I never stopped loving you, Joey! Leaving was the only choice I had. It was the only way I could protect you.”

  “Protect me? From what?”

  “The fucking truth!” BC held out her hand. “Give me my keys.”

  “No.”

  “Joey, give me the keys. I want to go home.”

  “No!” She came toward me, assuming I’d surrender them. “No. You don’t get to walk out on me again. I deserve to know what the hell happened.”

  “You don’t want to know.”

  I grabbed her wrists, holding them against my chest. As softly as I could, I said, “Please, don’t do this. Don’t break my heart all over again.”

  “That’s precisely why I can’t tell you.” A tear dripped down her face, but she quickly wiped it on her shirt and blinked away the rest.

  “Neither one of us are leaving this spot until you tell me everything.” She was conflicted, wanting to spill every last detail but, at the same time, feeling determined to keep it to herself. All I had to do was push her just a bit. “You owe me that much.” Those beautiful brown eyes I loved more than anything filled again, but the flood didn’t breach her defenses.

  Her tone weakened. She was caving. “I’m warning you one last time, Joey. You don’t want–”

  “Not only do I hear the warning loud and clear, I appreciate it. You still have to tell me. I can’t go on like this anymore.”

  “Fine.” I could see the fight leaving her. Or maybe she was relieved to finally be getting it off her chest. I
couldn’t figure out which. “But once I start, you have to listen to the entire story. You don’t get to change your mind halfway through.”

  “Understood.” I released my hold on her, and she folded her arms. We walked to a bench at the edge of the parking lot.

  After a few moments of silence, she sighed. “Do you remember the night of your cousin’s party? It was right before I went back to school at the end of summer.”

  “I do.”

  “Well, that’s when everything started.” I fought the urge to shake the words from her, but she needed to go at her own pace. “I had gone upstairs to use the bathroom and when I came out, Donnie and his friends were leaving his bedroom. They were obviously high, so I tried walking past. Maybe I should’ve gone back in and waited for them to go.” Without letting her see, my fists tightened. She seemed uncomfortable as it was. “Anyway, he asked to speak with me and sent the guys downstairs.”

  “What the fuck did he want?” I growled.

  “Are you going to let me tell you or what?” I put my head in my hands, wishing she’d hurry up. “Once the other guys were gone, he started asking questions.”

  “About?”

  “Christ, Joey. This sucks as it is. Will you please just listen?”

  “I’m sorry,” I grumbled.

  “Don’t apologize. Just let me get through this.” She pulled up her feet to rest on the bench in front of her and wrapped her arms around her legs. “He was being an asshole, but I knew he wasn’t himself. He kept asking dumb stuff, like why you never told him things about us. Out of nowhere, he pushed me against the wall and held me there. It didn’t get any further than that because I was able to get him off me. Your aunt must’ve heard the commotion because she came from her room to see what was going on.” She didn’t spin it, but she gripped her ring. Looking closer, it wasn’t one I’d ever seen before. It looked like two bands intertwined. I assumed it to be a gift from the doctor.

  “She realized what had happened and told me not to tell you. She said she’d take care of it.”