Miranda.
What is she doing here? How does she even know I work here?
Maybe it's just a coincidence.
Yeah, that has to be it. There's no way she could know this is my shop.
But what are the chances? That she would come here, to my garage, to get her car fixed. Today of all days?
I remember the last time I saw Miranda, in that diner a few years ago. Did I mention this car shop then? I don’t think so, but I can’t be sure.
All I know is if she doesn't recognize me I don't plan on bringing up the fact that I used to go out with her sister.
And that I was one she was with the night she died.
I push all of those thoughts away. I hadn't thought about her in a long time. Until today.
It's all something I finally got over, and I don't intend on bringing it back into my life. The past is called the past for a reason.
I live in the now. With Naomi.
“Can I help you?" I ask, but Manny speaks up before she can.
"Carlos," he says. "This lady says she knows you?"
Four
Mayra
Ronnie and I stand at the nurses’ station and chat since it’s a Tuesday afternoon, and things are pretty slow at the hospital.
Mr. Yates from Room 432 was just discharged today so that just leaves me with three patients. We just got done with our rounds, checking vitals, so we have a few minutes to ourselves.
For now anyway. I’m sure Mrs. Allen will probably page me any minute now, asking me to help her to the bathroom. She’s like clockwork. Now that the patients down our hall have had dinner, though, the hallways are pretty quiet.
“So how is the fiancé?” Ronnie asks.
“Same old, same old. How about yours?” I ask, not even looking up. I feel like if I start talking about Jimmy and me that I’ll never stop. And I don’t know if I’m up for that right now.
Gosh. When did we turn into this? Not that it’s really we, I guess. More like me.
I think if anyone were to ask Jimmy right now about the state of our relationship, he’d probably say that we’re madly in love and happy as can be.
But I have to say it’s far from the truth.
For me, anyway.
“You sound like you need a girls’ night,” Ronnie says. “We should go for drinks once this shift is over.”
I look at him and smile. Ronnie is so sweet. He can always tell when something is bothering me. I guess it’s not too hard to figure out, to be honest. At least to most people, anyway. I wish Jimmy would notice.
But I don’t think he really has for several months now. Notice me, that is. Not really.
“Oh, I wish. But I don’t know that getting tipsy will make my situation better right now,” I say with a small laugh. “Besides, I have a thing to go to tonight. Jimmy’s gonna be at our old high school signing some stuff for charity. Already, it begins.”
Plus I don’t need to get drunk right now. I’d probably start bawling my eyes out. I don’t need an audience for that.
And I’m tired of crying.
Crying myself to sleep because my fiancé doesn’t get how I feel.
“Next time, then. Has he signed the contract yet?” Ronnie asks.
I nod. “Just last week. He got a big bonus and everything.” But I couldn’t care less about the money.
I just want Jimmy. The one who fought for us once.
When Jimmy told me a few months ago that he had just gotten a call from his agent and that the NBA wanted to sign him on, the first thing I felt was not excitement.
I mean sure, it came. But not right away. Instead, I stuck a smile on my face, screamed a little bit for him, and hugged him. Because that's what he was doing. He was jumping and screaming, and then he picked me up, he was so happy.
But when I realized that the NBA was whisking away my future husband to be a professional basketball player who was away or training most of the time, my heart sunk a little. Just a little.
Because I knew what it meant. In fact, it was a reminder.
Jimmy's amazing life-changing news was a reminder that, as usual, I was in second place.
Basketball came first, and I was second.
“That bad, huh?” Ronnie asks quietly, jarring me out of my thoughts. One of the doctors comes back from 431 and places the patient’s file on the file rack beside us.
I shrug. “You know Jimmy and basketball. I don't know why it still bothers me so much, I guess. I mean, basketball has been his life since before we got together in high school. Basketball has always come first for Jimmy, and it still does. Probably always will be. I’m starting to doubt there’s anything I can do about that.” Even when he's eventually forced to retire, he’ll probably want to become a coach or something.
And that kills me.
It kills me because Jimmy will always be in first place for me. Our relationship and our happiness. But it's hard because he doesn't see things the same way.
“Henry can be the same way with his career. Every so often I just have to book us a vacation somewhere far away so I can remind him that, hello, I’m here. I exist. And we need to spend time together and not become two strangers living in the same apartment, you know?”
Oh god. I feel like that’s where we’re headed if we’re not careful, if we don’t do something about this soon.
“I mean, I get it,” I say as I look at Ronnie. “I’m happy for him. Hell, I'm proud of him. He's worked so hard to get here. He is literally one in a million who got the shot to actually reach the NBA, the pro level. Not just anybody can do that, you know?”
Ronnie nods, knowing exactly what I mean. I go on.
“He's worked his ass off to do it. And he's finally there. But I don't think he realizes the price. It happened to us one time already back in high school. We broke up for a while.”
“Yeah.”
“And I think for a moment he saw the error of his ways. But it's been five years now, and I think he's forgotten again. And honestly, I'm not sure if I have the energy to make things work again. This isn’t working for me, and I can’t be in second place forever. I'm supposed to become his wife.”
I stare at Ronnie for a moment, what I just said truly sinking.
“He asked me to marry him just two months ago, and the next day he got the call. All of a sudden, our engagement was forgotten. I mean, yeah, he gave me a ring, and it's on my finger, and he sees it every day, But I don't think our marriage is his priority anymore.”
In fact, I wonder why he even gave me that ring, if he really meant it.
I think about that every time I take it off and leave it in my locker when I come into work.
It's a beautiful ring. Most girls would probably kill for it. It's big and flashy and sparkly, and I love it, but it also feels like a weight on my shoulders. Because a ring is supposed to be a promise between two people that truly love each other, that they will continue loving each other and being there for each other their entire lives, no matter what comes their way.
But already we haven't even said our vows, and Jimmy is no longer there for me. I'm just a nurse, so my dreams aren't as big as his.
But I'm important too. I deserve that he spend time with me and look at me when I'm talking to him and that our lives not be about basketball all the time.
I barely see him. It's tough enough as it is with my schedule as a nurse.
“You know what? He's already hinted that as soon as he starts his first season, he wants me to leave my job. So I can basically be his trophy wife. I don't want that to be my life, Ronnie. I want us to travel, to spend time together, to have a family. How long am I going to have to wait before I get that? I don't want to raise kids on my own while he travels half the year and trains the other half. How can I get him to understand that?”
Ronnie sighs. “Girl, I feel for you. I don’t know what the answer is, but I can tell you that if you’re gonna fix this, it needs to happen soon. Otherwise, thirty years will have gone by before
you finally get the courage to leave. And believe me, you will leave. It happened to my parents. Perfect strangers. No longer in love.”
His parents had gotten a divorce last year after thirty-two years of marriage. That scares the hell out of me. Spending my whole life unhappy, wishing every single day that things will change when they won’t.
But I don’t even know that Jimmy really gets any of this. And I’m not sure that he ever will. What does that mean for us?
Five
Ariana
I'm still laser-focused on the spreadsheet in front of me when my boss, Mr. Turner, comes over. He never comes over unless it’s about something pretty important. And something that needs to be done now.
Great. I'm still trying to finish up the end-of-month reports and analysis. What is he going to ask me to do now?
“Hey, how’s that report coming along? Will it be on my desk by end of day tomorrow?"
I hit save and turn to give him my full attention. Mr. Turner has that seemingly nice but no BS allowed smile on his face. "Of course. When have I ever failed you, sir?"
“I know. I’m just messing with you. Actually, I need to meet with you in a few minutes if you have the time."
I do my fake, “of course, I’d be happy to,” smile. Because it’s not like I can say, “hell no, I have a deadline.” So instead, I say, "Sure, what time? We could even go right now if you like.”
He glances at the watch on his wrist. “Well, actually, I have a phone conference in about eleven minutes. But you know, we can make this pretty quick. It shouldn't take too long."
I hit save one more time before we walk over to his office. He leaves the door open and walks around to his desk. I take a seat in front of him and wonder what this could be about.
He looks at some paperwork in his hand. I'm wondering what this is about. We just had evaluations a few weeks ago. We’re not due for more for quite a while. Not until the holidays come up anyway, which is when he usually likes to make promotions. So I doubt that’s what this is.
I clear my throat and wait for him to start.
He looks up at me finally. “Ariana, you've been with us for two years now, and I can't say I have much to complain about. In fact, I would say I have nothing to complain about. You do the work, help keep our clients happy, and I would say you're a big reason this company has seen some major growth in the past six months."
I smile and say, “Thank you.”
But inside, my mind is roaring. Is he about to let me go? Is that what this is about? Because it feels like it could go either way right now.
Good news or bad news.
And I really just want him to peel off the Band-Aid and tell me what it is so I can get back to the end-of-month reports.
"Now I don't usually do this, but Linda from marketing just came in here and told me she is going to be taking some time off and leave earlier than we expected. So there's an open position, and I want to know if you can fill it. Starting next week."
I'm about to open my mouth and say, yeah of course. I'll take it.
Heck, I'll start right now.
But he goes on. "Now, she wouldn’t have a lot of time to train you, so it would mean a lot of learning on your own. But that's why I’m picking you for the position. I'm not even opening this up to new applications. You're a quick learner, and you get the job done, so I think if anybody can handle this quick of a transition, it’s you. Plus it comes with a nice raise and an office. So what do you say?"
I open my mouth and stutter at first. “Y-yes, sir. Thank you for considering me. Yes, I'll take it. Should I meet with her tomorrow, maybe, so she can catch me up on what's going on?"
He nods and smiles. “That sounds about right to me. You check in with me at the end of the week and let me know how it goes with Linda. And shoot me an email if you come across any question she can’t answer."
I nod and stand up. Because it sounds like we’re done and I really should get back to the end-of-month report. This is great. I can't believe it.
I give Mr. Turner one last smile of gratitude and shake his hand. He stands up with me and envelops my hand in his.
"Welcome to the marketing team, Ms. Aguilar.”
I look out of the office and shut the door lightly behind me. I have this goofy smile on my face the entire way back to my cubicle.
Ha! No more cubicle. I’ll have my own office from now on.
I catch somebody's eye, and I can already see the quizzical look on his face. This is probably going to go around the whole company by tomorrow morning. If that. Things have a way of getting found out quickly around here.
But I don't care. This is what I've been working towards since I started here. I've been wanting to be on the marketing team for this company since the beginning.
But the only position available when I applied was in accounting. I don't hate it, but I don't love it.
Marketing is where I want to be, though. I’m glad my hard work finally paid off.
I take a seat at my desk, and I go back to my report, trying to focus again. I can't wait to tell Lucas about this. Maybe I’ll announce the good news at dinner tonight and let everyone know I got promoted.
And we can celebrate. Along with Jimmy’s amazing news.
I can’t wipe the smile off my face. I never would have dreamed that my brother and I would come this far back in high school. We were just kids back then.
Now we’re adults with goals, and our dreams are finally coming true.
The new promotion (and decorating my new office) is all I can think about. So that's probably why I don't notice the time on my computer until I gasp and realize I should've left the office about twenty minutes ago.
I scramble to grab what I need. I've made some real progress on this report, and if I work on it tonight and come in early tomorrow, maybe I can even have it done by lunch time tomorrow.
Okay, I seriously kind of doubt that, but one can hope, right? I close the report, pack my laptop, and grab my keys.
I'm crossing the cubicle room again when I notice that, other than one other person, I'm the only one left. I even see the custodial people are starting to come in so they can get to work cleaning the office while we’re away.
I’m saying hi to the cleaning lady that always greets me in Spanish when suddenly a strong wave of nausea rolls over me.
I clench my mouth shut, and I run to the bathroom down the hallway.
I set my bag down on the counter as I walk in and heave in the nearest toilet. A minute later, I wipe my mouth with some tissue, stand back up, and take a couple of deep breaths.
What was that?
I hope I'm not coming down with something now. Lucas works in a middle school, so I can’t even imagine all the kinds of germs he brings home on a daily basis. He got sick with the flu at twice last year, which he then gave to me, but he hasn’t been sick recently.
Maybe it's that time of year again. The holidays aren’t here yet, but they'll be here before we know it. Maybe flu season is here early this year. Or maybe it's some kind of stomach virus. Or what I had for lunch?
I don't know, but this couldn’t have been worse timing. I just got this promotion today, I’m supposed to finish this end-of-month report by tomorrow, and I start my new position next week. I'm supposed to be training in the meantime.
Not to mention this thing tonight. That I’m already super late to.
I cannot be sick right now. I just can't.
I need to swing by the store and grab some medicine so that I can stop this thing before it takes a hold of me. Maybe it's just a twenty-four-hour thing.
I cross my fingers and hope that's what it is as I leave the stall and wash my hands with plenty of soap. I touch up my make-up for a minute and head out the door again.
My stomach still feels a little uneasy, but I'll grab something on the way to that thing at the high school, and I'm sure I'll feel better by tomorrow morning.
Either way, I'll have to tough it out. I'm almost at the fro
nt doors of the building when the same lady janitor stops me. She comes up to me.
"Are you okay?" She asks me in Spanish.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I say with a small smile. "Thank you for asking." I'm about to keep walking when she says something else.
"How far along are you?"
I'm confused by the question, so I don't answer right away.
Then I get what she's talking about when she makes a motion with her hand over her stomach.
I give a small laugh and shake my head. "Oh, I'm not pregnant." I look down at my flat stomach. I’ve gained a few pounds since I started working here, but I'm definitely not pregnant. I make a note to self about ditching burgers at lunch for salads.
The woman points to my face. "Are you sure? You have the look of a pregnant woman. And if you're not feeling well, maybe that's what your body is telling you."
I smile again. "I don't think so. This just started today. I think I'm just coming up with something, the flu maybe."
She finally nods and leaves. I stare after her, curious and more surprised than anything else that she would say that to me.
Tell me I’m pregnant. I really hope I don't look pregnant anyway. My pants have been fitting a little tighter in the last few weeks, but I'm pretty sure it's just been stress and all the fast food.
I need to take a few vacation days. Yeah, that's what it is.
Maybe Lucas and I can book a quick getaway over spring break. He has a whole week off. I bet we can go down south somewhere warm, just take a few days for ourselves.
I think that's exactly what we need right now anyway. And it’s probably the reason I'm getting sick. I've been at it too hard the past few weeks, staying late, coming in early, making sure everything gets done on time. I just need some time for myself.
I get to my car and look at my phone. I’m already more than thirty minutes late to this thing. I’m putting on my seatbelt when a call comes in.
It’s my brother, Jimmy.
I answer, but I’m having a hard time pulling into traffic as it is, so I just say, “Yes, Jimmy, I promise I'm almost there. I didn’t forget. I just need to swing by the store real quick. But I'll be there before you know it."
Until Forever (Changing Hearts Book 4) Page 2
