Until Forever (Changing Hearts Book 4)

by Yesenia Vargas

  Now, I guess.

  People are starting to stare, and I hear someone else speak on a mic. I turn.

  It’s Miranda, speaking from the side of the stage. “Tonight we have the chance to hear from someone who lived an unspeakable tragedy. Seven years ago, my little sister, Valerie, was killed not far from here. The night she died, she had been drinking, and she chose to get behind the wheel. She lost her life just when it was beginning, just when she had so much of it ahead of her. Many of you tonight know that already. You’ve probably heard me talk about it. Maybe you’ve even begun to roll your eyes every time I bring it up.”

  The crowd of teenagers gets a little quieter after this.

  This is my chance. “I used to be one of those people,” I interrupt.

  I speak slowly, taking my time on each word that forms in my head and comes out of my mouth. “I used to roll my eyes at all of this. I never thought it could happen to me. I never thought it would be one of my friends, my girlfriend actually, that could be here one second and then gone the next. We were only seventeen. Juniors in high school. We got into a big fight. No surprise there. But she left in my car. She’d stolen my keys. I tried to stop her. I tried….”

  I swallow. The gym is silent, but it doesn’t matter because I can’t hear anything right now except the sounds from that night. And the sound of my own breathing.

  “But it was too late. She never had a chance. I found her, just minutes after she…” I shake my head slowly and keep my gaze on a spot on the wall in front of me. “I’ll never be the same. None of us will.” I look at Miranda. She’s crying. I turn back, and one tear finally trails down my face.

  I wipe that tear away, and I look back at the crowd.

  I freeze for a second when I spot another familiar face.

  Ariana. Is that really her?

  I can't read the look on her face. I tear my gaze away from her, and I go on. "That night haunted me every single day for a long time. We lost someone precious. She'll never get to get married or go to college or do any of that stuff. And I can't help but feel responsible for it even if she is the one who made the choice to drive the car that night. You see, the thing about alcohol and drunk driving is that it's not just about her death, you know? It's not just about the person who dies. That's tragic. It really is. But what’s also tragic is if you survive. If you survive, and you know that your friends died and maybe you could've prevented it. That will haunt you forever."

  I stare out at the crowd, meeting several people’s eyes, one by one. They all look away.

  "Don't let that be you. No matter what. Who cares if you ruin their night? This is about potentially ruining their entire lives. Maybe your life. Maybe theirs. Either way, don't let it be you or your friends.”

  The gym feels like a balloon that was full of air and about to burst, but now it's slowly but surely deflating.

  I see the mic in my hand. I turn and walk towards Miranda, who takes it. She walks to the center of the stage and starts talking.

  I don’t hear any of it, though. I'm already too deep in my own mind to completely listen. I think I hear clapping. I'm not sure.

  All I know is I want to get out of here. Where’s Naomi?

  But before I can even look for her, she's already enveloped me in a hug. I hug her back, and she whispers in my ear, "I'm so damn proud of you right now, you know that? I know that wasn't easy. You went up there anyway."

  Then she kisses me. She's grabbing my hand, ready to walk me out of here.

  But then I see Ariana again. And I feel like I have more than one amends to make tonight.

  "Wait," I say.

  Twenty

  Jimmy

  I slowly open the door to the girls’ bathroom, softly knocking as I go in and popping my head inside.

  I turn back around and see a couple of giggly high school girls just a few steps behind me.

  “Sorry, this bathroom is going to be ocupado for a few minutes.”

  They run away without saying anything other than giggling some more. I turn back around and go in again, letting the door slam closed gently behind me. Mayra stands by the farthest sink, her arms crossed in front of her and a look on her face that I’ve never seen before, like someone who’s on the edge of a cliff, terrified of heights but about to jump anyway. The feeling that this might be in any way a joke evaporates. I quickly look under the stalls and confirm that we’re alone.

  I don't know what to say or where to begin. What am I supposed to say right now that won’t end up creating another argument, just like every other argument we've had for the past few months?

  What's the right thing to say right now?

  "Hey," I say.

  She doesn't say a single word. She doesn't even look up at me. I stare at the expression on her face. For a second, I see the heartbreak inside of her, but then it quickly goes back to being blank and resolute, like she’s decided she doesn’t care about us anymore.

  Like she's done.

  I think my sister was right. Mayra is finally done with me. I did this to us. Even though both of us fought so many times, it was me that did this.

  My career. I always put it first.

  I sigh. I never did learn how to put her first. Even in high school when I made the same mistake and it took a lot to finally get her to come back to me. I guess I forgot what that was like.

  "Are you okay?" I ask, walking towards her. As soon as I say the words out loud, they sound stupid. Of course she's not okay. She looks up at me finally, and the look on her face says the same thing. Like she's had enough. She's had enough of me.

  “Tell me what I need to do to fix this?" My voice sounds different, and I think it's finally just hit me that this could be it for us. Even worse than before. She could walk away from me right now, and just like that, I’d never be able to kiss her again. To hold her or touch her.

  I wouldn’t look up at the stands during one of my basketball games and see her cheering me on. There's a twinge in my chest as I think about that.

  Basketball would be meaningless without her. At the end of the day, it's just a game, and yes, it means the world to me, but you know what? She means even more.

  "If you haven’t—if you don't know at this point what to do to fix this," Mayra begins, “then I can't help you anymore. You know exactly how I feel. You know I'm not going be stuck forever in second place to your career. I am done with that."

  The tears in her eyes overflow at the end of her sentence and now her voice is different too, but she remains completely serious.

  I have to fix this somehow.

  I go up to her and start to put my arms around her, but she turns away from me. It feels like someone just kicked me in the stomach.

  I guess a hug isn't going to fix this.

  I stare at the ring on her finger, and her eyes meet mine for a second. She slowly takes the ring off, places it in her palm, and extends her hand to me.

  “What does this mean to you, Jimmy? Why did you give this to me? You know this is supposed to be a promise, right?"

  I look down and nod slowly. "I know. And I intend to keep that promise.”

  I stand next to her, each of us leaning back on a sink. Her hand closes around the ring, but she doesn’t put it back on. If she gives it back to me, it’ll destroy me.

  "If I gave you that ring, it’s because I really do love you, Mayra. I want to spend the rest of my life with you." I look down. "I guess I took you for granted."

  Maybe that's what she wants to hear because she looks up at me, her eyes full of tears. I can tell she's trying to hold more back. It kills me to see her like this. I swallow hard and choke down my own tears. "You've always been there for me. Believe me, I get it. I guess I just didn't want to admit that I've been a jerk to you again. Maybe I don't deserve you after all. But as selfish as it is, Mayra, I know I don’t deserve you, but I want you to stay with me anyway.”

  Her bottom lip trembles, and I wish I could press my mouth against it. “But I can't, Ji
mmy. Not like this. You get that, right? I love you, but I just can't." A few tears slide down her cheeks before she lets me gently wipe them away, her eyes closed.

  "I know. I get it. I don't want you to be with me if you're not happy. I'll let you go if that's what you really want."

  Her head turns to me quickly. "But don't you get it?" She sounds angry again. "I don't want that. I want to be with you. But you're leaving me no choice if you don't change, if we don't work on this together."

  I nod quickly. "I understand," I say.

  “I mean, I know I don't make things easy with my work schedule. I know I work crazy hours, and a lot of the time, I'm home and then you're not. But we if we could just spend some time together—I just feel like you don't even try. Like your career comes first by default. Your practices come first by default, your games, your training. If I happen to be off, that's too bad because you have training to go to. You have a meeting with your agent to go to. I want to have dinner with you, go out to a movie? I'm screwed because your schedule comes first. I just want you to make room for me in your life." Her voice is getting louder with each sentence.

  "You're right. I have to try harder. I have to change my priorities." I blink hard.

  "I get it. Believe me, I know how important basketball is for you, Jimmy. I know this isn’t gonna be forever. Sooner or later, you'll have to retire, and I'll have you all to myself."

  I look up and give her a small smile, and she does the same.

  “But I’m not going to spend the next ten, fifteen, or twenty years between now and then just waiting for you to spend some time with me. I need you more than ever. I want to have kids with you. I want—I want us to get married and to have the time of our lives now.”

  She’s crying again, and I’m pretty sure I am too. The part about having kids together did it.

  I envision that for a second, a small family of our own. Mayra with a big round belly, my baby inside.

  I grab her hands. "Nothing would make me happier than you being the mother of my children, Mayra. Believe me," I say. "I've never been more honest with you than right now. I will never give you up. Just give me one more chance so both of us can sit down and work this out together. I promise I'll never give up on us if you don't give up on me." She squeezes my hand, and she starts crying even more."

  "Why are you crying?" I ask, unable to wipe away her tears fast enough and ignoring my own. She's crying really hard now. "I'm just so happy right now, hearing that,” she says, laughing a little bit and smiling finally.

  I laugh, and I hug her tight. Her face rests against my chest. "I'll never understand how girls can cry more when they're happy than when they're sad." She squeezes me even harder and keeps crying into my chest.

  I pull away from her so I can do what I've been meaning to do for a long time now. I can’t even remember the last time I kissed her like I meant it.

  I lean down now and kiss her hard, like our lives depend on it because, in a way, I guess they do.

  "I'm so sorry, Mayra. I'm so sorry. I'll never do this to you again. And if I do, if I'm this stupid again, I'll never forgive myself. And I won't ask you to forgive me again. I promise you that." I kiss her again. I kiss her everywhere.

  Finally, we look at each other. The ring is still in her hand.

  "Can I?" I ask quietly.

  Her mouth falls open a bit as she gives me the ring, her eyes searching my face for what I'm about to do. A giant grin takes over my face as I see the changing expressions on her face when I kneel down slowly.

  I take the ring in my hand, and then I take her left in my other. "Mayra, I know this girls’ bathroom is one of the most disgusting places we've ever been in our entire lives." She laughs and waits for me go on. "But will you do me the honor of spending your life with me, of allowing me to be there for you and to make you the happiest woman on this earth?" I ask.

  I look at her, waiting for her response, but she's too busy laughing and crying to answer me. So she nods like crazy instead and hugs me again.

  For the second time, I slide the ring on her finger. It’s a thousand times better than the first. And then we’re kissing again. We’re kissing like we’re teenagers in high school again. We kissed like we haven’t in months.

  The bathroom door slams behind us, and we both turn to look. There are two more girls standing there. I swear they come in pairs. One gasps and covers her mouth with her hands.

  Then they recognize me. I grab Mayra's hand, and we’re out of there before they can say anything.

  I look down at Mayra one more time, our fingers still entwined. "Let me finish up, and then we’ll get out of here. I promised everyone a nice dinner but tonight and the rest of our lives is yours.”

  “Sounds good to me,” she says with a smile.

  I wipe away one more stray tear with my thumb. She’s never looked more beautiful than she does right now. But I hate to see her cry, especially because of me. “I love you. You're number one in my life, not basketball and not my career. I'd give it all up right now if I had to. If it meant I could spend the rest of my life with you."

  "But that's just it, don't you get it? I don't want you to give it all up for me. Because that's not you. You'll never be happy if you don't have basketball in your life. And I get it. I need to be a nurse. I just need you to see that we’re more important. We’re more important than basketball. We’re more important than nursing. One day, we will be more important than even our kids. Because if we’re not in this together and we forget how to love each other, that's it. We’re done no matter what."

  “You’re perfect, you know that? Give me one more chance to prove how important you are to me. We’ll get married right now if you want. I want you to be my wife, Mayra."

  She laughs. "No way. You’re giving me the wedding of my dreams. I'm not about to get eloped."

  I laugh with her. "Good point. Ariana and my mom would kill me if we did that anyway, so I guess that's good."

  She laughs even harder.

  “I’ll give you whatever kind of wedding you want. Maybe we can do one of those destination weddings, even."

  She smiles. "I don't care. As long as it's with you, I’ll have the time of my life. I just want you, Jimmy. I want all the little moments, not just the big moments. We can't have that if you're always away."

  "I know, but we’re going to make this work. We’ll have those moments. During basketball season, you can come with me if you want or we’ll Skype every single day. You can fly in, whatever. You’re number one for me. I promise to make you the happiest woman in the world. Everything else in the world means nothing without you." I say.

  I grab her by the hand and take her with me to the final event of the night: the auction.

  Twenty-One

  Ryan

  I watch my best friend Jimmy sign a bunch of stuff, smiling every second.

  He keeps looking over at Mayra, and I'm guessing they patched things up because they look like they can’t get enough of each other even though they’re only about two feet apart.

  Jimmy finishes autographing an official jersey and looks my way, rolling it up in his hands before tossing it to me.

  I catch it and give it to Miles, who screams with excitement. Krista helps him put it on. He looks like he’s wearing a dress, but even so, he’s completely adorable in his giant signed jersey.

  The news reporter asks him one more question, and he responds. Just before they're about to wrap up the interview, he says, "I forgot to mention one more important person in my life earlier. My fiancée.”

  He looks down at Mayra, and she smiles like she just won the lottery. All eyes are on her.

  Jimmy wraps his arms around her, looking at her like she's a million bucks.

  "I just wouldn't be where I am without her. And she's agreed to let me make her the happiest woman in the world."

  Mayra smiles up at him. Krista and I smile at each other.

  "They're so sweet together, aren't they?" she says quietly. />
  I nod. “They always have been. Those two are perfect for each other.“

  “And Krista?” I say before I chicken out. "You two are perfect for me.”

  I can already see the tears in Krista's eyes, and I swallow hard. Miles stands between us, hugging our legs.

  "You mean it?” Krista whispers.

  “Of course I mean it."

  She kisses me on the lips and then she puts her arm around me, and I do the same. I already love our little family.

  I look back at Jimmy and Mayra. It looks like the interview and the auction are over. And like they raised quite a bit of money for the school tonight.

  Jimmy walks off the stage and over to us with Mayra in tow. He hands me two more jerseys. An extra small for Miles and one for Krista.

  Mayra immediately introduces herself, and Krista does the same.

  "Oh, who is this?" Mayra asks, kneeling down to look at Miles.

  “This is my son, Miles,” I say.

  Krista wipes at her eyes and squeezes my hand.

  “You guys have the cutest family.”

  “Ryan is my new daddy," Miles says.

  Then my heart does this thing where it kind of jumps. And I carry him into my arms, and I look at him. "Is that so? Will you give me a chance to be your dad?"

  Miles nods and then he hugs me. "Does this mean you're not going to leave?"

  "I'll never leave you, Miles.”

  He holds up his hand, pinky up. “Pinky promise?"

  I wrap my pinky around his. I let him down, and he starts jumping up and down. Then he looks at Krista as he jumps.

  "Mom, guess what? I have a dad again." Krista takes him in her arms, a few tears rolling down her cheeks.

  “Congratulations,” Jimmy says, giving me a hug.

  “This deserves a celebration,” Mayra says, turning to Jimmy.

  "Sounds like we have quite a few things to celebrate tonight, huh?” Jimmy says. “Wait, where’s Lucas and my sister?”

  That’s when we hear someone on the mic on the stage.