by T. T. Kove
“What do you like to do to relax?” he asked once he came out of the bathroom. “And don’t say sex.”
“I wasn’t going to,” I murmured, flushing bright red again. “Um, I like to watch movies. Re-watch movies, anyway, that’s always a good way to unwind.”
He flung himself on the sofa. “All right. I can do a movie. Whatever you want.”
I knew what I wanted and I walked over to where all my DVDs were stores. I was in pain and the encounter with Al had really shaken me, and Wynn wasn’t here right now… so this called for Disney.
“What are we watching?” Chad asked, leaning over to get the remote so he could turn the TV on.
“Tangled.” I hoped he wouldn’t mind.
He seemed blank however. “Never heard of it.”
Yeah, I reckon he wouldn’t have. He was a grown man, shacked up with two other men, and so wasn’t likely to be sitting around watching Disney’s animated movies. But I loved them and they cheered me up, much more than most of my anime, though watching those always left me in a good mood too. As did dance movies, but no, this kind of shitty night was definitely a Disney night.
Chapter 14
“Hey, Wynn?”
“Hmm?”
I lay halfway on top of him, head resting on his chest, arm over his waist, one leg tangled with his. Anime played on the telly and it was right in the middle of a fight scene, but it couldn’t quite hold my attention. I’d seen it before, anyway.
Wynn, on the other hand, who’d said he’d watch it with me, was now reading a book. The same one I’d seen him reading yesterday—the gay smut novel. As long as I could use him for a pillow I didn’t mind though. My taste in movies and series weren’t for everyone—though Chad had seemed quite interested in Tangled last night.
“Chad said something last night…”
He sighed deeply, as if to say oh boy, here it comes. “What?”
“Nothing bad,” I hurried to assure him so he wouldn’t think the worst. “It’s just, he said he wasn’t allowed to use the key to your flat unless in case of emergency. And I just wondered… like, what kind of emergency would that be? Has he had to use it before?”
A beat of silence… then Wynn snapped his book shut and put it on the table. I tilted my head back to look up at him, curious and, if I was honest, slightly worried.
He stared straight ahead, not at the TV, but at the bare wall next to it. His brows were drawn together somewhat. “I get depressed,” he murmured. “Or I used to. I manage it with medication and for the most part it works.”
“But not always?”
“No.” He sighed heavily. “Sometimes it gets really bad. It hasn’t ever been as bad as it was after Madison died though. That landed me in the hospital for an overdose and then I was sectioned for a while. But… yeah. It can get pretty bad. To the point I can’t get out of bed.”
I’d had a fairly carefree childhood. Mum and Dad had always been healthy, and we’d never had any issues with mental illnesses. Kian was healthy too, though he’d had a worse childhood than I’d had with his neglectful mum. But one of Kian’s closest friends had it pretty bad—and Chad too, obviously, from what he’d revealed to me last night almost matter-of-factly.
“It happens once or twice a year, usually,” he continued quietly. “It’s turned into a pattern, really. Sometime during spring and then autumn.”
Well, it was winter now, and he’d clearly got over it. Not until spring then. If the pattern continued. “What’re you doing for Christmas?” I asked without actually meaning to. It was three weeks away, after all.
“What I always do. Stay here. Work. There’s always paperwork to do when the club’s closed.”
That didn’t sound like a particularly nice Christmas. “Don’t you have family?”
“None that matters.” And now his tone was final, as if this wasn’t a subject he wanted to get into any further.
I took the hint and dropped it. Must be bad then if he doesn’t even see his family at Christmas. “Maybe you could come home with me? Mum and Dad live outside of London and I always spend Christmas with them. Kian and Silver do too, except that one year they went home to Silver’s parents but that didn’t go so well, so now they always spend Christmas with us.” That came out a bit more long-winded than necessary, but I was nervous he’d shoot me down immediately.
“You’re asking me home to meet the family? It hasn’t even been a week since we met.” He chuckled.
“Yeah, well… by the time Christmas rolls around it’ll have been a month.” More than enough time to meet my parents, right? Al had never met them. I’d never been allowed to tell them about him.
He draped his arms over my shoulders. “I’m not very good with people.”
“It’s just my parents.” I rubbed my nose against his chest.
“That’s even worse, isn’t it?” He sighed again. “I don’t know, Kasey. People don’t like me. Parents least of all.”
“Have you been around many parents?” I asked drily, because really… how could he claim that? As far as I’d understood, and what he’d told me, he’d only had the one serious boyfriend.
“I’m just not a people person.” He dragged a hand through his hair.
I stroked a hand over his chest. “Just think about it, okay? It’s still a way off.” I hoped he’d come. I didn’t want him to stay alone over Christmas. And I did want my parents to meet him. My first real boyfriend, because that’s what he was. Al hadn’t ever been real, had he, because he’d been so deep in denial about everything… But Wynn didn’t mind us being open about this. And I liked that, because I wanted to be open. I wanted to be able to mention my boyfriend, or stand close to him in public, or hold his hand, or even kiss him even if there were people around.
“I’m not making any promises,” he said, “but yeah, I’ll think about it.”
“Great!” I didn’t need anything more than that. We had three weeks to go—I’d work on him, wear him down. I tilted my head up for a kiss, but when he obliged me I was painfully reminded why I’d avoided kissing since last night. “Ow. Dammit.”
“All right?” Wynn turned all worried, thumb stroking my cheek.
“Yeah, just this damn lip… And it hurts on the inside of my cheek too because I bit myself when he hit me last night.” That was probably when, anyway, last night was a bit of a blur to be honest. Maybe I was repressing it… but no, I did remember it, it just—I wanted to get it at a distance.
Wynn’s hand cupped my neck. “If Chad hadn’t pulled me off I don’t think I would’ve stopped hitting him.”
“When Chad pulled you off I wanted you to continue hitting him,” I admitted in a low voice. “But I’m glad you didn’t. I don’t want you to get in trouble.” I remembered clearly Chad asking him if he wanted to end up prison again. I reckoned the whole prison thing was what he’d already told me about his boyfriend and the drugs and whatnot. I didn’t want to stir into that though, so I didn’t mention it.
His chest rumbled as he chuckled darkly. “What a pair we make, huh?”
I’d completely lost interest in the anime playing on the telly and now I peered up at him. Blowing him wasn’t going to happen today with my swollen lip, but we could do loads of things without me offering a BJ. He could do it or he could fuck me or—
He grinned wryly. “I know that look.” He moved, rolled us over so I was on my back and he stretched out over me. “What do you want?”
“I don’t know. I’m trying to figure it out.” I wanted it all. Both a blowjob and a fuck. When it came to fucking I wanted it all there too; slow and fast and hard. “Everything. All the things. Do whatever you want to me.”
His grin turned decidedly wicked and then he buried his face in my neck, sucking the thin skin. I tilted my head away, giving him space. I also lifted one leg to rest over his hip and arse while I spread the other wider so our crotches rubbed together.
“Whatever I want?” He squeezed my dick through my pyjama trousers�
�I still hadn’t got dressed properly, and as we planned on spending our whole day inside, I didn’t plan on dressing properly until tomorrow anyway.
“Anything you want,” I confirmed. “As long as it’s not anything to do with my mouth.” Damn Alistair and his fists. How long would it take for the swelling to go down? For the split to heal properly? Not to mention the bite inside my mouth… that was a little swollen now too and it really hurt if I so much as brushed my tongue over it. When could I kiss Wynn again? When could I suck his cock? Because I really, really wanted to do both of those things.
His hand, big and warm, slipped under my clothes and fisted my dick. I arched my hips up, or tried anyway, as he lay on top of me, keeping me firmly down against the soft sofa.
“Impatient?” he asked, lips brushing over my cheek, down to my ear, where he nibbled gently on my earlobe.
“Mmm,” was all that came out of me as he squeezed my dick in a particular way just then, already wringing pre-come from me.
“Do you want to pause your cartoons?”
“Anime. Not cartoons,” I argued.
“Same difference.” He licked down my neck again, then attached his mouth to thin skin, sucking and probably making another hickey. I didn’t mind. Hell, I wanted him to. “So?”
“It’s not necessary. I’ve seen it before.” I knew what happened. I’d seen it more than once, if I was going to be entirely honest.
“Then we can just turn the damn telly off. It’s distracting.” He did so and then dove right back to my neck.
I clutched at his shoulders, wishing I could drag him up into a deep kiss, but I knew that wouldn’t be possible at all today. Or tomorrow. Or maybe not even the day after. Dammit.
He was still fisting my cock, stroking entirely too slow. “You can hurry up, you know,” I pointed out in a dry, impatient tone. “In fact, please do.”
His chest rumbled. “You’re definitely impatient.”
I was. So damn much. If only he knew just how much I wanted to get off right now—
The doorbell rang.
“The fuck?” This was not how it was supposed to go.
Wynn looked up with a slight frown. “Chad didn’t say anything about stopping by today.”
“Can we ignore it?” My dick was desperate to keep his hand exactly where it was.
The bell rang again.
“I guess not.” He sighed and heaved himself off me. “Whoever it is can fuck off though.”
I righted my clothes, but didn’t move from my position. Best to lie there ready for when Wynn came back. I listened to him walk over the floor, then heard the door unlock and crack open. Then… nothing. Not a sound.
I rolled onto my side and pushed up on my elbow so I could look over at Wynn. The door was open and he was locked in a staring contest with whoever was on the other side. My stomach clenched. I’ve got a bad feeling about this. It better not be Al. If it was… well, I wouldn’t stop Wynn if he decided to beat his face in again.
“Kasey.” Wynn turned away from the door, dark gaze finding me. “It’s for you.” He waved at the door before walking off to the kitchen.
“What?” It couldn’t be Al. Wynn wouldn’t have left the door open if it was him. I jumped off the sofa to investigate. “Kian?”
He stood on the other side of the door, with Silver behind him. Kian glared, Silver looked like he’d rather be anywhere else. “You never said you lived with someone,” Kian said, crossing his arms.
“Umm.” No, I hadn’t said that. Still… Did he remember the address when I’d only mumbled it to him once?
“So, funny story.” Kian glanced back at Silver, who refused to look at him in turn. “We were having lunch at Harriet’s, discussing whether to show up for a visit unannounced or not when we met Chad… and he tells us you live with Wynn.”
“I was going to tell you,” I mumbled. “Eventually.”
Kian frowned even harder. “What happened to your lip?”
My hand shot up to it, accidentally jarring the swollen area, and I cursed inwardly as pain shot through me. “Umm…” Shit. I’d never wanted to tell Kian the truth about Alistair. He’d always liked Al a lot, even if our relationship had always been a secret. Not that he knew that was a stipulation set by Al, though, as I’d always told him I wanted to keep it on the down-low too. There’s just so many lies…
I glanced over my shoulder. Wynn was still in the kitchen, back to me, but he’d put the kettle on. “Might as well invite them inside,” he said.
I guess it’s time. I stepped away, leaving the way inside clear for them. Kian all but marched in, but Silver was more hesitant. He met my gaze, smiled slightly, but his eyes zeroed in on my lip too and his expression turned more worried.
My dick had certainly deflated, so our interrupted moment was definitely ruined. No need to worry about unwanted boners, that was for sure. “Sit down.” I motioned to the sofa.
Kian sat on one end, but he didn’t seem happy about it. Silver plopped down next to him, still frowning, gaze locked on me. I perched on the edge of the other side, glancing at Wynn and wishing he’d join me.
And he did, with cups of tea. Tea, dammit. So this isn’t going to be over in a whiff. One look at Kian told me he wasn’t going to let it go either.
“Did he do that?” Kian asked, all but glaring at my lip, but his jab was obviously meant for Wynn, for whom he didn’t spare a single glance.
“Umm.” I swallowed, gaze flickering. “No.”
“If you’re lying to me, Kaz, I swear to God I’ll—”
“This is the first time in a long time I’m not lying to you,” I interrupted, the words falling out of me in a hurry.
Kian sat back a little in surprise, blinking.
I closed my eyes, sighed, then opened them again and inched a little closer to Wynn. He looked at me, seemingly the calmest one here at the moment.
Time to tell my brother the truth, then. Maybe it would be for the best. Time to stop lying to him. To them. They were my family after all. Surely they would believe me? Of course they will, a voice chastised me, but it was still hard to be so sure when Al had told me over and over again that no one would believe me if I ever spoke the truth of our relationship or our living situation or his behaviour towards me.
“Who did it then?” Kian asked, a little meeker than before, but still determined.
I drew in a shaky breath. Here goes then.
Chapter 15
“Alistair did it.” I folded my hands and rested them in my lap, foot jiggling nervously, and teeth nibbling on my lower lip. “It’s not the first time either.”
Silver’s expression hardened. Kian’s turned slack in surprise. “Alistair?”
I nodded quickly.
“But…” This had taken Kian completely by surprise. “But—why?”
Now I shrugged. “I don’t know. He just… liked slapping me around. He did it often enough.”
Kian had a hard time wrapping his head around this, I could tell. Silver was more difficult to read. “But he’s always so nice.”
“Of course he is around other people.” A chuckle left me, but it wasn’t a happy one—more bitter, if anything. “No one can know he likes to fuck guys and then abuse them afterwards, because he can’t deal with his own sexuality.”
Silver bent forward a little while Kian wrapped his head around what I was saying. “How long has this been going on?”
I didn’t dare look at either of them so I kept my head bowed. “Since I met him, really. He… didn’t want to come out. To anyone, ever. And I went with it because I liked him so much. It wasn’t until I moved in with him I realised how horrible he really was.”
Wynn sat motionless next to me. No one had touched the tea. I didn’t think I could drink anything with the way my stomach was clenching tight in anxiety.
“I’ve wanted to move out for a long time, but I couldn’t move back to Mum and Dad with my job here and all. And you guys… you don’t really have the space.” It wa
s all said to the floor. “Then I met Wynn… and he’s great. He helped me. Helped me move out, helped me last night when Al had dragged me outside to try to—I don’t know, get me back, I guess? But he didn’t like what I had to say so he hit me, and then Wynn was there and he saved me and just—” God, I was rambling.
“He’s been nothing but nice to me. He likes me exactly how I am and he doesn’t mind that people know about us. He’s not going to try and change me and he’s not going to insist on separate bedrooms and secrets and never telling anyone about our real relationship. He won’t cheat on me.” Hopefully, anyway. But even Chad had said Wynn was loyal and as his best friend he should know better than anyone what Wynn was like. I’d only known him a week, so I couldn’t say yet, but the way he’d treated me so far… it was better than anyone had ever treated me.
“Kaz…” Kian was up off the sofa and plastered against my side in an instant, hugging me so close he nearly obstructed my airways. “I never—shit, I don’t know—I never saw it.”
I didn’t hold a grudge against him. Of course not. I knew Al was manipulative. He was all charming in public. The kind of person every mother would be happy for her child to date. It was only in private he changed… “It’s not your fault.” I glanced at Silver and he stared back.
“I kinda suspected,” he said, surprising both me and Kian.
“What? You did? Since when?” Kian demanded, but he didn’t release his hold on me. “You never said…”
“I didn’t know.” He bent forward, arms dangling between his knees. “I just thought you changed a lot all of a sudden. Mathilda, who was your best friend for a long time… I mean, you pretty much stopped being her friend. And this is the girl who you worried so much about after her dad died and she went off the deep end for a bit. It was weird. I just couldn’t pinpoint why. I couldn’t tell it was Alistair. He was her friend too, right?”
