by JM Dragon
Kris was excited yet at the same time frightened to see Claire. So many what-ifs. Her head had been spinning with them since she left Claire. Sleep had been impossible.
What if Claire has what she wanted?
What if Claire decides I’m not a good enough lover?
What if Claire decides she doesn’t love me after all?
No matter how many times she tried to eradicate the words spinning in her head, they persisted. Even though the heady reminiscence of their lovemaking tried very hard to erase them.
Shirley had been her usual self. The reticence of last evening had disappeared, and she smiled a warm welcome when Kris entered the kitchen.
“Breakfast will be early today, I believe.”
Kris furrowed her brow.
“Oh, I figured Melissa and Anna might need a sleep-in as they had a long journey yesterday.” Shirley shook her head and wiped her hands on her apron. “Anna is up. In fact, she almost beat me. Claire is up. I needed something from my coat pocket in the hall and saw her as she and her mother were entering the study.”
“Okay, but what about Melissa?”
Shirley chuckled. “Mrs. Jackson is a light sleeper. All that activity of doors opening and shutting will wake her and she will be up too.”
Kris laughed. “I guess. Anything I can help you with?”
“Today Miss Anna can ‘slum it’ with the rest of us. We will eat in the kitchen. Will you set out the cutlery and plates?”
Kris nodded and smiled at Shirley.
“I think this is a wonderful place to eat. She should be grateful.” Kris headed for the cutlery drawer and began removing the items for the meal.
“Kris, Miss Anna was a nicer person at one time. Right now, she’s in a state of flux. I can’t ask you to give her a second chance, because you will make up your mind when you know all the facts.”
The door opened and Claire walked in.
Kris’s heart rate tripled.
“Hey, anything I can do? Grams will be up for breakfast in half an hour, and Mother is in the study.”
Claire didn’t immediately look at her. Kris felt her worries had been right, but which one? Or was it all of them?
Shirley pointed to the sink. “I’d appreciate your refilling the orange juice pitcher.”
“On it.”
Kris watched as Claire busied herself with the chore.
When she finished, Kris stared directly at Claire and gave a tentative smile.
She felt that Claire returned it reluctantly.
Her stomach hit rock bottom and bile soared in her throat, threatening to embarrass her. “Good morning?”
Claire seemed to hesitate to reply but eventually muttered, “Morning.”
Tears stung as she turned away. “Life sucks,” she brokenly said, then took the back entrance out of the house.
†
Shirley refrained from speaking while the two were in the room, but when Kris left hurriedly, she felt the time was right.
“I don’t know what the problem is, Claire, but if you don’t nip it in the bud, then you will most definitely lose her.”
Claire gave her a glower, then bent her head. “Pretty shabby behavior, huh? It was, I know it. Kris deserves so much more than my baggage and me. How can I ask her to take on my mother? She deserves happiness, not acrimony.”
“Let her be the judge of that. She’s seen your mother, experienced her bad vibes, and yet I suspect she never once doubted your affection for her. Give the woman credit. Lots of them would have run.” Shirley tutted. “I guess we will have one less for breakfast, and I was going to make her that Spanish omelet she said she’d love to have but has never tried.”
Claire vividly recalled their lovemaking and kicked herself for being such an idiot. Who else in the world would treat her with such gentleness and respect for her disfigurements, then put up with the terrible jibes from her mother? Still, Kris had given herself to Claire, tenderly making love, even ignoring the horror of the numerous scars that traversed her body.
Melissa entered the kitchen. “I’m a little earlier than expected. When is breakfast and do we really have to go formal, Shirley?”
Shirley smiled. “This morning I make the rules, and we are having breakfast here. Kris is upset, and I was thinking of delaying for a little while.”
Melissa frowned and looked at Claire, who was bending her head. “Let me see if I can fix that. What direction did she go?”
Claire looked up and frowned. “Grams, I’ll go.”
“You will not. I want a word with Kris, and this is as good a time as any. We shall both be back shortly.”
Shirley grinned. “She went out the back door, and if I know Kris, she will head for the cottage.”
“Lovely. I need a little bit of exercise before your marvelous breakfast, Shirley.”
Melissa left the room.
“You know it should be me. It was all my fault.”
Shirley shook her head. “Yes, it was. Hopefully you will be given a second chance to redeem yourself. Now get on with the chores, and when your grandmother is heading back, you can have the privilege of telling your mother where breakfast will be served.”
Claire raised her eyebrows. “Wow, that’s harsh, but under the circumstances a totally great call, although Mother only wants a coffee and roll.”
Shirley turned away and smiled.
†
Melissa traced a path toward the cottage and then spied Kris sitting on the top step of the porch. She seemed so engrossed in her own thoughts she didn’t hear Melissa’s approach and jumped when she was almost in front of her.
“Melissa, is anything wrong?” Kris stood.
Melissa smiled. Something inordinately welcoming reverberated around this young woman. In many people’s eyes she was an average person getting on with her life. Yet from the moment their lives joined, she had simply interwoven with not just Melissa but with Claire too. That was the most momentous thing to happen.
“No, my dear, I’m the messenger. Breakfast is almost ready.”
Kris shook her head. “I’m not hungry, thanks. I’ll skip it.”
Of course you would say that. So would I, especially if someone I loved hurt me deeply. I’ve been there and understand completely.
“I have a proposition for you, and I’m hoping you might consider it.”
Kris frowned. “What would that be?”
Melissa smiled at the innocent defiance. You go, girl. “Shirley needs to leave Seasons. It could be for a few months, but then it could be forever. I need another housekeeper to take over. With what you have done with the cottage, I know you are the perfect choice.”
Melisa watched a look of surprise, then excitement flash over Kris’s face.
“Can I bring Knight, my cat, with me?”
“My dear, you can bring your whole family. Kris, this is where you were meant to be. I don’t want to pressure you though, because I can advertise the position.”
“No, I’ll take it.” Kris rapidly ran down the few steps and hugged Melissa. “Thank you.”
Melissa returned the hug. “Don’t give up on my granddaughter. She needs you,” she whispered in Kris’s ear.
Kris turned to her with a pained expression. “She has to find her way, and right now she’s being pulled in other directions. I’m hoping it’s me she chooses in the end.”
Melissa caught her close. “I hope so too. Now, let’s go and see what Shirley has conjured for us.”
†
When Grams and Kris returned, Claire wanted to look in any direction but at her lover. Words sunk in her brain, and a delicious rivulet of excitement at the memory of their lovemaking the night before washed over her. She couldn’t help but feel good. Her eyes caught Kris’s, and she slowly nodded and gave her a smile. Kris reciprocated tightly. I deserve that. I deserve worse than that. She was about to engage Kris in conversation when Shirley reminded her about her mother.
“I’m just going to fetch Mother. I’ll be back.”
<
br /> The swing door almost revolved with the speed at which she left the room.
Claire walked as fast as she could to the study. Her core purpose now was to speak with Kris and find out what the woman she loved would do in her circumstances. Surely, between them, they could brainstorm a solution and everyone would be happy.
She knocked on the study door and entered.
There was no sound from her mother, who sat in the big leather chair. It was currently facing the window looking out onto the grassy area leading to the swimming pool.
“Mother, breakfast is ready and we are all eating in the kitchen.”
Fully expecting her mother to protest, she was amazed when nothing happened. Her mother was there; she could see a small portion of her shoulder. Walking closer, she frowned.
“Mother, breakfast. Are you going to give it the cold shoulder because it’s not being served in the dining room?”
No answer. Worse than that, no movement.
Bile backfilled her throat and a sensation of dread hit the pit of her stomach. She moved to the chair and walked around it.
“Mother?” This time she spoke tentatively as she saw the closed lids and her contorted mouth. She rapidly felt for a pulse. It was there.
“I’ll fetch help, Mom, I promise.” Claire rushed out of the room and fled to the kitchen.
†
When Claire entered the kitchen, her face was deathly white and she incoherently said her mother had collapsed and was unconscious.
Melissa tried to stand and then sank back, her face drawn as she gasped for air and held a hand to her heart.
Shirley called the ambulance.
After administering to Melissa, who needed her asthma medicine, Kris decided it was up to her to take over.
“I’ll go sit with Anna until the ambulance arrives. Shirley, I think strong tea might help them.”
Shirley nodded and gave her a half smile of what she figured was approval.
“I should go,” Claire finally said with tears streaming down her cheeks.
Kris went over to Claire and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “I promise to take care of your mom, Claire. Have the tea and then come sit with us until the paramedics arrive. Do you trust me to take care of her?”
“Always. I’m sorry for earlier. I love you,” Claire whispered.
“I know. I love you too.” Kris gently kissed her cheek.
Within ten minutes the ambulance came. Anna, Melissa, and Claire left Seasons.
Kris finally sat down, and the smell of the breakfast made her stomach growl, but she couldn’t eat anything. The paramedics who arrived said Anna had had a seizure, possibly a stroke, but her pulse was strong, and they’d found her early enough. They also checked over Melissa, who was still having breathing difficulties, and decided it best she went with them for a checkup. Claire, her darling Claire, looked devastated. She sat in the back of the ambulance, her face ashen as the doors closed and the siren blasted out as they headed away from the house.
Shirley walked back in the kitchen and gave her a shake of the head, tears slowly tracking down her cheeks.
“I was certainly not expecting that. Thank you, Kris, for being strong. We all needed it. Now, I must call my nephew. This changes everything.”
Kris reached for Shirley’s arm. “It doesn’t.”
Shirley gave her a long look. “Melissa told you that I needed to leave for a while?”
“Yes, and she offered me the position. I took it…but only until you get back, of course.” Kris smiled.
Shirley began to cry. “You are a very special woman, Kris Lake, thank you.” The older woman wrapped her in a hug so tight Kris could barely breathe.
Eventually released, she smiled. “Out of the sorrows of life, there is a kernel of hope that eventually grows to happiness. I believe that wholeheartedly, don’t you?”
Shirley gave her a strange look, then nodded as she wiped away tears.
“You really do belong here, Kris. Now let me make you something for breakfast. What we had is spoiled.”
“I’m not really hungry.”
“Nonsense, you have a lot to do still. Claire will need your guidance, and I know she would love you to be by her side right now. A quick omelet and then take my car to the hospital.”
Scratching the side of her face, Kris frowned.
“Okay, but I might need help with the hospital part. Melissa could do with a friendly face too.”
“Thank you. I am worried about Mrs. Jackson.”
“Anytime.” Her mind flooded with the events of that last hour. She refused to think about them and how the future would affect Claire and their lives. Now the most important thing was to ensure Claire and her family got well. What else is important when you love someone?
†
Kris asked at reception for information on Anna Tremont and was met with the standard “are you family?” routine.
She was about to say she wasn’t when Shirley interjected, “She’s the daughter’s fiancée. I think that qualifies.”
When Kris saw the stern way Shirley looked at the receptionist, she now knew why people said some of the things they did about her.
“Of course. She’s in ICU. There is a family room adjacent to the ward.”
Kris turned to Shirley and gave her a look of gratitude. “Can you tell me where Melissa Jackson is, please? She’s family,” Shirley asked.
The receptionist told her the ward.
“I’ll see to Melissa, and you go find your Claire.” Shirley turned in the direction of the ward where she’d locate Melissa.
A ten-floor elevator ride later, Kris arrived at the floor for the ICU and looked around for the room described by the receptionist.
Twenty paces down a white-walled corridor, she saw the room marked family. She tentatively opened the door. At first, she thought there was no one present, then from the shadow of a pillar, there was movement.
“Claire?”
Claire appeared. Her face was gaunt as she stared at Kris before it miraculously changed. Seconds later, Claire was in her arms.
“Thank you for being here. You are a godsend.”
Kris held her trembling body close. “I love you. Where else would I be?”
“Mother’s had a stroke. They won’t know how bad until…if…she recovers consciousness.”
Kris held her closer and kissed the top of her head. “Then we will wait it out together. If your mom is as strong as you are, she’ll be out of here in no time.”
“Is Grams okay? Damn, I can’t lose her too. I just can’t think.”
Kris looked directly into Claire’s eyes.
“Melissa is doing great, and Shirley is with her. Once she stabilizes, she will be with you too. And you are not going to lose anyone, trust me.” Crossing her fingers, she hoped she had made the right call since it could bite her back later.
Claire sank into Kris’s shoulder and began to sob. “I don’t want my mom to die.”
Kris simply held her until she could cry no more.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Kris looked over the drive, giving a half smile. A part of her was soul-sad because Claire wasn’t with her, but another part of her relished living in this beautiful place. Her caretaker duties helped her cope with Claire returning with her family to New York. Two months passed, and in that time, she and Knight, who now wrapped his tail around her leg purring incessantly, had settled into a routine. She bent and picked him up, and he pushed his head against her cheek.
“Yeah, I love you too, Knight. I don’t need to ask you how you like being here, do I?” Kris chuckled. Since she rescued—that was the right word for it—Knight from the cattery, he’d been beside her like a lapdog. Even the change of surroundings had been perfectly fine as long as she was in sight.
It helped the loneliness of being in such a grand house alone.
Claire’s mother’s stroke severed Kris and Claire’s physical interaction, but they still talked most days on Skyp
e. Last night Claire had discussed her mother in more detail than normal.
“Mother’s doing well, thank goodness. I miss being with you.” Claire had laughed, and Kris smiled and wanted to reach into the screen and hold her close. “Of course the therapist said she could be doing better. I guess they always say that. She remembers my twenty-first birthday party now. Her memory is in little snippets, a bit like me.”
Kris heard the sadness in her lover’s voice. “That’s good, right?”
“Yes, yes, it is. She doesn’t remember leaving Father and has asked why he doesn’t come home. Not that she can recall his name.” They both laughed. “Doctors say her memory is something that might never fully recover. I guess Mother and I have something in common now.”
“She will. Who wouldn’t with support from you and Melissa? It must be great in your house at the moment, having all those girly chats helping your mom remember things from the past.”
Claire rolled her eyes at Kris. They smiled, and she touched the screen as Claire did the same.
“I miss you.”
Kris bit the inside of her lip and tears welled up as she forced a smile. “I miss you too, but right now you are exactly where you should be, love. Hey, did I tell you that the furry devil Knight caught a mouse in the pantry? Well, three actually. I daren’t tell Shirley when she calls me tomorrow.”
They both laughed and it eased the tension.
“I just want to hold you and make love to you. It’s so damn frustrating. Every time I’ve planned a visit for the weekend, Mother takes a turn for the worse. I swear she does it on purpose.” Claire sighed.
“Oh don’t say that, Claire. Maybe she’s just frightened. I’ve been reading about strokes. It says that for someone like your mom, she must feel like she no longer controls her life.”
Claire sighed. “Yes, I’m sure you’re right. You always are. I still miss just being in a room with you.”
Kris grinned. “You’re alone and so am I. Have you ever played show and tell?”
Claire gasped. “I can’t believe you said that.”
