Only Trick

by Jewel E. Ann

  I shrug, gulping down the remainder of my water. “Don’t sweat it. I gave her condolences from all of us.”

  Grady raises a suspicious brow. “Must have been why she was leaving so fast.”

  “Hmm … I hadn’t noticed.”

  Chapter Forty-Two

  I insist Trick go home with Grady and Tamsen. They all look me over with a careful eye. I glance down at myself. I got dressed in a hurry, it’s possible my clothes don’t match.

  “What?”

  Both Grady and Tamsen hug me before walking out of the room.

  “Nothing, baby.” Trick pulls me into his arms, leaning down to nuzzle his nose in my hair. “I love you. Call me if you need anything. Okay?”

  I nod, then he presses a soft kiss to my lips. “Goodnight.”

  “Night.” I smile.

  Nana eats her dinner while I sip a Green Lantern, compliments of Jade.

  “So what do you want to talk about?” Nana asks.

  I shrug, then hold up my left hand with a smile. “Trick decided to forego the traditional diamond and permanently mark me instead.”

  Nana grabs my hand and laughs. “My Darby has a tattoo. Never thought I’d see that day.” She winks. “But I’m glad I did.”

  “Todos Santos is amazing. You have to come visit soon. We’re right on the beach and it’s such a paradise.”

  “So that’s an official invite?”

  “Yes. Although you never need one. Trick’s been drawing … he sold one for thirty grand in only a week. The gallery owner said he could have gotten so much more had he more time.”

  “What did he draw?”

  My heart sinks. In all of my enthusiasm I sort of forgot that would be a natural follow-up question, but this is Nana and she’ll know I’m lying if I try to tell her anything but the truth.

  “A woman from his past.” I frown.

  Her eyes go wide. “From his past that he forgot?”

  I nod.

  “So he remembers?”

  “Not really. All he has is the image. He doesn’t know why he has it. I think he drew her hoping it would trigger the rest of his memory, but it hasn’t.”

  “Is she pretty?”

  “Yes, older looking … well, at least older than he would have been at the time he last saw her.”

  “What was she doing in the picture?”

  I grimace. “Lying on a bed … naked.”

  Nana’s brows form two tall peaks. “And what did you do when you saw it?”

  “I kinda freaked out. It’s such a long story, but we’re good now and the fact that he made so much money off it somehow made everything better.”

  “Because you two needed the money?” Nana has trouble keeping a straight face.

  I roll my eyes. “Yes, we did. We have rent and other expenses, and aside from the little bit of money that I’ve made tutoring our neighbor, neither one of us have had a reliable form of income until he sold that drawing.”

  Nana pushes away her tray of food. “I could give you money, dear.”

  “I don’t want it.”

  “It’s not as much as it could have been, but it’s rightfully yours. I’m not going to live forever and your grandfather worked hard for it. He would want you to have it.”

  “He never knew me.”

  “But he would have adored you.”

  I smile. “Thank you for saying that.” I take her hand. “But I have money. I’ve never made a rent or house payment until now.” I give her the you-should-know-why look. “And I’ve worked full time ever since I graduated from college, without student loans to pay back. And I’ve made decent money with my job.”

  Nana smiles. “I’m so proud of you. You’re a shimmering gem, Darby. You have such a big heart and you know what’s important in life. All those girls in school missed out on being friends with you. Shame on them. I bet not a single one of them grew up to be half the woman you are today.”

  “You mean Darby the Doormat?”

  “No!” Nana scowls. “If everyone were a hard ass like me, the world would be in trouble. Never apologize for being compassionate. It’s who you are and the recipients of that compassion are some of the luckiest people in the world, and I can guarantee they will never forget you.”

  “Love you, Nana. Now…” I pull her blankets up and smooth them over her “…get some rest.”

  *

  As soon as Nana’s asleep, I head down to the cafeteria. Everywhere I look I’m met with watchful eyes and sad expressions. I get a bag of pretzels and a bottled water then take a seat at an empty table. First I feel it, then I look around to confirm it—the glances that make a quick diversion every time I look up, followed by whispering and subtle gestures in my direction. I pop a mini pretzel into my mouth and chew it in slow motion as I glance up at the TV in the corner.

  Senator Carmichael was pronounced dead after four hours of surgery in attempts to repair massive internal bleeding sustained from a car accident last night. There has been no official details released in regards to his funeral arrangements …

  I shake my head slowly.

  “Your father didn’t make it.”

  “I’m so sorry …”

  “So sorry about your father …”

  “We’re all here for you.”

  “It was my idea … he didn’t want to go …”

  “No!” I scream the word, silencing the room. My heart is ready to explode. I can’t breathe as my mind tries to make sense of everything. A surge of nausea has me buckling over. Grabbing my purse, I rush past the heads all turned in my direction to get to the bathroom. I barely make it to the toilet before I expel what little is in my stomach. “Oh God!” I continue to dry heave.

  Sitting back on the dirty floor of the stall, I hug my knees to my chest and shiver through a cold sweat. Fumbling for my purse, I manage to retrieve my phone and send off a text with only four letters.

  Me: help

  I drop my phone in my bag and lay my forehead on my knees, praying for help.

  “Miss? Are you okay?” A voice calls from outside my stall.

  I shiver, shaking my head some more.

  “Can I get or call someone for you?”

  “T-T-Trick.”

  “Trick?”

  I nod, squeezing my eyes shut.

  “Did you say Trick?”

  I nod, but cannot speak.

  “Do you have a number?”

  I open my mouth to speak but all that comes out are sobs, painful emotion being wrung from my heart.

  “Um … I’ll see what I can do.”

  Chapter Forty-Three

  I’d rather tear my own fucking heart out of my chest than know that she needs me and I can’t find her. She won’t text me back or answer her phone. Grace is asleep so Grady, Tamsen, and I split up to look for Darby.

  “Hey!” I call seeing a familiar face.

  The nurse that worked with Darby turns.

  “Have you seen Darby?”

  “No. Isn’t she with Grace?”

  I shake my head and jog to the elevator.

  “Maybe she’s in the cafeteria!”

  I don’t acknowledge her, but I’m heading there. I rip through the crowd of people on the elevator when the doors open on the lower level. Looking right then left I don’t see her, but I spot both Grady and Tamsen.

  “No luck?”

  They both shake their heads. I fist my hair and growl in anger. “Dammit! Why won’t she answer her phone?”

  “Are you looking for someone?” An older woman with an ID badge asks.

  “Yes,” Tamsen answers then describes what Darby looks like.

  “She ran to the bathroom about an hour ago. Another lady went in to check on her. All she said was ‘Trick.’”

  “Trick, you can’t just barge into the women’s bathroom!” Tamsen calls, chasing after me.

  Like hell I can’t!

  “Darby!” I slam the door open so hard it makes a crashing sound against the back wall.

 
All the stalls are unoccupied except one.

  “Darby!” I bang on it and look underneath. “Open the door.”

  She releases a strangled sob, and I don’t wait another second before yanking the door open sending the metal latch clattering to the ground.

  “Shh … I’m here.” I pick her up, cradling her in my arms as her face buries into my chest with gut-wrenching cries. Tamsen grabs her purse and Grady holds the door open for us.

  “H-he’s d-d-dead …”

  I press my lips to her head while carrying her to the elevator. “I know, baby … I know,” I whisper.

  Grady drives us home, and I carry her to bed and just hold her. It doesn’t matter what I thought of her father. In spite of everything, I know she loved him. That’s just her, always giving more than he deserved and settling for so much less than she needed from the ungrateful bastard.

  I’m not sure what time it is when her body finally quiets and stills. Tamsen slips off Darby’s shoes and mine then spreads a blanket over us. “I’ll be on the couch if you need anything,” she whispers.

  I nod and mouth “thank you.”

  There will never be enough time left in my life to repay Tamsen and Grady. They are without exception always here for me when I need them, but what’s most amazing is they have a way of knowing I need them even before I do.

  My life’s circumstances have never been ideal, but this I know. I’ve been loved more than most people are in a dozen lifetimes. My parents had nothing and yet I felt like I had everything … everything that mattered. Grady and I might not always agree on things, but he picked me up, dusted me off, and gave me purpose again. Tamsen … well Tamsen is an angel if there’s such a thing. She healed me from the inside out and sinceriously gave me back my sense of self-worth. Then there’s the woman in my arms. She’s my future … my whole world … my lover … my wife … my BFF.

  Chapter Forty-Four

  Oh. My. Head. I think my eyes are swollen shut. As I try to shift, strong arms tighten around me.

  “Pee … I need to pee,” I whisper. Before I can say another word, I’m being carried to the bathroom. “I can walk.” I squint up at Trick through the slit beneath my puffy eyelids as he sets me on my feet. He crosses his arms over his chest. Sure, like I want him to stand here and watch me pee. “I could use a drink of water.”

  “Tamsen, Darby needs some water!”

  I sigh. “I need my purse too.”

  “Grab her purse too!”

  “Okay, if you must know I don’t need water or my purse. I need thirty seconds by myself to tinkle without you watching me.”

  Trick smirks. “We’re married.”

  “And I’d like to keep it that way. So let’s not make a point of watching each other shit and piss, okay?”

  He chuckles. “Suit yourself.” Just as Tamsen turns the corner to the bathroom, he signals for her to leave and follows her out.

  After washing my hands and splashing cold water on my face, I get ready to turn the corner to what I know will be three very sad faces looking at me.

  “Hey, sunshine. I’ve got pancakes and eggs, but I could do toast and jelly for you instead,” Grady calls from the stove.

  “Pancakes are great, thanks.”

  Tamsen hands me a glass of orange juice, giving me her genuine smile, not the one everyone was giving me yesterday.

  “Thank you.”

  “Come.” Trick pats the barstool next to him.

  It’s the word I want to hear. I was worried when he felt the need to carry me to the bathroom. Coddling is not my thing. Last night was my breakdown; now it’s passed. I’m sensitive and compassionate, and in spite of what some mean, catty bitches have thought over the years, that doesn’t equate to weak. I had a weak moment, but I am not a weak person.

  “When do you want to go get your nana?”

  I scoot up on the stool. “Just as soon as we’re done eating. She’ll be itching to leave. Besides, I feel awful for abandoning her last night when I told her I would stay.”

  “No need, honey. I talked with the nurses on her floor and told them you weren’t feeling well and to tell your nana when she woke that you’d pick her up in the morning.” Grady winks at me, setting a stack of three pancakes on my plate, two more than I’m going to be able to eat this morning.

  “You’re the best.”

  Grady gives Trick an I-told-you-so look.

  Trick rests his hand on my leg, giving it a gentle squeeze. I expect him to make some snide comment to Grady, putting him in his place the way they both seem to do, but he doesn’t. It makes me wonder if Trick shares my gratitude for what our friends, our family, have done.

  *

  We arrive at the hospital, greeted by anxious Nana dressed and sitting in a guest chair looking more like a visitor than a patient. The doctor discharged her a half an hour ago.

  “There’s my dear girl.” She stands holding open her arms.

  “Good morning, Nana. Sorry we would have been here earlier, but I overslept and then Grady made breakfast.”

  “No worries, dear. As long as we stop for some real coffee on the way home, I’ll be happy.”

  Trick lets me drive and Nana sits in the front seat. Once again, allowing me to be strong, not over-coddling me, and allowing Nana to have her favorite spot in the vehicle.

  “So … how are you today, dear?” Nana breaks the silence, giving a quick glance back to Trick.

  “She knows.” He gives her a sad smile then meets my gaze in the rearview mirror.

  “Well in that case I’ll break more bad news to you. Rachel came by the hospital this morning before you arrived, and now she’s planning on meeting us at my place around noon to discuss funeral arrangements.”

  “I’m sure he has it all specified in his will. What’s to discuss?”

  “Day, time … I don’t know.”

  We pull up in front of Nana’s and Trick gets out to open her door.

  “Thank you, handsome.” She winks and he grins.

  “You can stay if you’d like or you can pick me up later.” I wrap my arms around him.

  “I’ll give you two some time alone.” He kisses me.

  “Thank you … for everything,” I whisper against his lips.

  “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my wife … my life.”

  I smile. “I’ll call you later.” I hand him the keys and take Nana’s real coffee so she doesn’t have to maneuver the stairs with it in her hand.

  After I get her settled on the couch with her feet up, a blanket over her lap, and her coffee, I curl up on the love seat across from her. “I never asked. Was Rachel in the car too?”

  “No. She had a holiday fashion show rehearsal. That’s why I invited your father to dinner. It was…” she forces a sad smile “…your mom’s birthday. We were on our way to her favorite restaurant—the place is still open after all these years. I bet you never knew we did this every year, just the two of us. It’s the only day of the year that I see a glimpse of the man he used to be with Lucy. But this year, for the first time since she died, he tried to skip out. Said he had too much to do with the election just around the corner.”

  Nana shakes her head, an intent gaze focused at the lid on her cup. “I insisted he come, just for an hour or two. I wouldn’t take no for an answer.” She draws in a slow, controlled breath. “Nobody saw it coming.”

  “What happened to the drivers?”

  “The driver of the vehicle that hit us died. She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt, at least that’s what Mary said. Our driver suffered a broken arm but he’s fine.” Nana’s pained face meets my gaze. “Now, dear, how are you handling this?”

  I feel the emotions sting my eyes as I chuckle. “Not so good last night. That’s why I didn’t stay with you. But now I just don’t know. I’m sad, hurt, and angry. Whether he deserved it or not, l loved him. I think a child is programmed to love their parents and it makes me sick to think of how long I waited for him to show me love.” I roll my eyes to
the ceiling and swallow. “I mean … it goes both ways, right? Parents should be programmed to love their children, no matter what.” I wipe a single tear from my cheek. “You’ve always told me that he loved my mom, so I kept thinking that eventually he’d let go of her loss and embrace me like I was the only precious part of her he had left.”

  “My sweet girl, he loved you even if he didn’t know how to show it.”

  I shrug. “Well, it’s too late now.” There’s a part of me that wants to tell her about the times he hit me, but I think Nana needs to believe something good about my father. She needs it to make sense of his relationship with my mom. “That’s what hit me the hardest. It wasn’t the loss of the man that he was; it was the loss of the man I’d hoped one day he’d be.”

  The door buzzes. I hold up my hand to Nana. “I got it.”

  “Darby.” Rachel says with a slight huff as she brushes past me. Her eyes don’t look the least bit puffy and her usual bitch mask is firmly in place. I’m sure when she heard the news of my father she probably popped a few Xanax and continued on with her day after putting a reminder in her phone to stop by the hospital to pick up his personal belongings.

  “Let’s hurry up and get through this. I’m way behind on work, not to mention I have to be back in New York by Saturday.” Rachel slips her gloves into her handbag and shrugs off her full-length coat.

  Nana and I share the same expression. What the fuck? Okay, Nana’s might be “Who the hell does she think she is?” but mine is definitely “What the fuck?”

  “By all means, Rachel, we’d hate to dawdle too long over something as trifling as my father’s death.”

  Rachel could freeze fire with her scowl and medusa eyes, but lucky for me, I’m immune to her evil glare.

  “Life goes on for the living.”

  Nana purses her lips, but I can see the smirk she’s trying to hide. This might be very inappropriate timing, but I can’t blame her. If we don’t laugh at Rachel, we’ll end up strangling her.

  “That it does. So what do you need from us?” Nana sips her coffee.