by Trina M. Lee
“Back the fuck off, Arys. Nobody is forcing Alexa to do anything against her will.” Kale shoved Arys up against a nearby headstone, and the two of them glared daggers into one another.
“Oh, is that so?” Arys taunted, wearing a nasty grin. “Try telling that to the FPA. Remember your time in lockup well, my friend? Because that’s what Briggs has planned for Alexa. He’s coming for her. Think you’ve got what it takes to keep her safe?”
I growled in frustration. “I don’t need anyone to keep me safe, you damn Neanderthals. I’m not afraid of Briggs.” Did these fools really think so little of me that they needed to fight over my safety as if I were helpless?
Arys shoved Kale back, his entire body brimming with pent up violence. “Briggs isn’t what I’m worried about. It’s what’s going to happen to you when that place gets inside your head. You can’t even keep your shit together now.” To Kale, he spat, “No thanks to you.”
I grabbed hold of Kale in an attempt to keep them apart, but he jerked free of me, his anger guiding his actions. “You have no fucking idea what it’s been like. Keep your accusations to yourself. I’m the one cleaning up your mess.”
Arys stood ready for a fight, which did nothing to untie the knot forming in my stomach. “Is that how you see her? As my mess? Well, I’m not the one teaching her how to be a cold-blooded killer, am I?”
“No, you just made her one.”
“Guys, come on. You’re acting like jackasses.” Jez spoke up with a huff. She looked back and forth between the two of them and shook her head in derision.
Much to my surprise Arys backed down first. Hands up in a show of neutrality, he got in a blow by saying, “When you take her to bed, it’s me that she thinks of. But you already know that, don’t you?”
“Arys,” I gasped, horrified that it had come to this.
The look on Kale’s face was dark and menacing but also grudgingly accepting. He knew it was true, and I cringed, wishing I could drop through a hole in the ground.
“I am always there because I am part of her,” Arys continued, unable to leave well enough alone. “You will never change that. Maybe it’s time for you to move on, Sinclair. This city has run its course for you, don’t you think?”
“Is that a threat?” Kale seemed hopeful, like he wanted a reason to have a go at Arys.
“More like a suggestion.”
I stared at Arys, aghast at where he’d taken this. What the fuck? The mental and emotional strain was beginning to weigh on me.
Kale took a few steps back as if he too couldn’t believe what he’d heard. “Well, I didn’t ask for your opinion,” he said with an expression so carefully controlled that I knew he had to be falling apart inside.
Arys seemed to know it too. He almost looked sympathetic, but ultimately he looked satisfied. They stared at each other. I stared at them. Then I broke. Unable to bear the weight of this horrible moment any longer, I ran.
I ran back to the Camaro, stopping suddenly. It sat there gleaming in the dark, mocking me for my failure. It represented everything I had been running from since the night I died. I hated it. I hated myself.
Veryl’s voice echoed from the depths of my memories. Protector of Mankind. A Hound of God. One of the last. If I couldn’t stop running from who I was, then I would fail. And Shya would win after all.
An emotion-driven madness reigned in Kale when he rejoined me at the car. I had missed something, and whatever it was, it had affected him deeply. A melancholy rage stained his aura, making it heavy with a negativity that scraped at my senses. With anguish resonating in his every step, Kale strode up to me looking devastated.
“What happened?” I asked, gripped by a sudden urgency.
Kale jerked to a halt right in front of me. Looking absolutely tortured, he pulled me close and rested his forehead against mine. His energy rolled over me, feeling like tiny pinpricks all over my body.
“Do you want me to leave?” His words came out in a rush. Eyes closed and shoulders shaking, Kale gripped me so tight it hurt. “Tell me to go if that’s what you want, Alexa, and I will go.”
Completely overwhelmed by everything that had just taken place, I abruptly burst into tears. Blood tears rolled down my face. My heart broke.
Arys, how could you be so cruel? I asked myself though I already knew the answer. He was willing to do whatever it took to accomplish what he believed was right. Arys was ruthless. But this time he’d gone too far.
I shook my head, my shoulders shaking with silent sobs. Getting the words out was so damn hard. “I don’t want you to go,” I managed, holding Kale as tight as he held me.
“He’s right though, isn’t he?” Kale kissed my forehead and then my lips. “As long as I’m here, you won’t find yourself. You can’t do that with me.”
“Stop,” I pleaded, pressing a finger to his lips. “Please, just don’t.”
Who was I kidding? Arys had an uncanny knack of being right in most cases. It was one of his biggest flaws if only because it meant that I was often wrong.
“God, Alexa, we are so fucking wrong for each other. And it feels so right. How can that even be? It doesn’t make any damn sense.”
It didn’t make any sense to me though I knew what he meant. Every moment we spent together fed the madness that threatened to claim us both. And yet, it felt good. It made me feel reckless and carefree only the way accepting madness can.
Standing there together, clinging to the insanity that bound us, we slipped even further into it. Resentment for what Arys had done welled up inside me. Who the hell was he to dictate who was allowed to be in my life? He killed me. I would not be ruled by him.
It wasn’t the cleanest line of thinking, but backed into a corner, I was going to come out swinging. If Arys wanted to cross the line, he would regret it. Even as I stood there thinking horrible things about my twin flame, I missed him. And resented him for it.
“I don’t want to feel anymore,” I said, my voice cracking with the pain I fought to keep inside. “Take me somewhere so I can leave it behind. Escape with me, Kale.”
What I was asking was dangerous, but I didn’t care. Power roiled about inside me, seeking, demanding, coaxing.
When Kale pulled back to peer into my eyes, a dark hunger lurked within him. It brought a wild smile to my face. He wiped my tears away with a gentleness that didn’t match the mischievous glint in his brown and blue gaze.
“Anything for you, my queen.”
Crashing a frat party wasn’t what I’d expected, but it worked for me. It was a large house but a small party. The loud, obnoxious, drunk college students in various states of intoxication felt kind of perfect. These parties were notorious for date rape scenarios, which was exactly what I sought when we entered the house unnoticed. Beating the hell out of an asshole was just what I needed to unleash this unholy aggression ruling me.
Kale and I glided through the frat house with a shared intent: murder and mayhem. To feel only the release that came with opening a vein.
A drunk guy, slurring so bad we could hardly understand him, offered us a drink. I smiled and accepted the cup of beer he shoved at me. It sloshed over the side and onto the floor. I took a quick sniff, finding that it smelled toxic, like it was drugged. As soon as he turned away, I ditched it on the coffee table and continued on.
The house was filled with the hormone-charged energy of drunk co-eds. I breathed it in, relishing the anticipation. The build up was almost as good as the release.
Slipping from room to room, we found everything from strip poker to drinking games to a naked woman flouncing about. Finally I found what I wanted. A couple making out in the hallway upstairs were whispering quietly to one another. Despite the noise of the party, my keen hearing picked out their conversation.
He was trying to convince her to go to a bedroom with him. She told him she wanted to wait, that she wasn’t ready. When the big meathead didn’t get his way, he proceeded to reach beneath her skirt anyway. She squealed and tried
to push him away. It only encouraged him.
I waited until I saw him clap a hand over her mouth to muffle her protests. Then I stepped up behind him with a smile. Maybe he was a symbolic choice for me. It didn’t take a therapist to put this one together. A man forcing his will onto a woman was my victim tonight, and through him I would unleash whatever inner turmoil I could.
With one hand on his shoulder, I hauled him off her. He turned with a shout, clearly expecting to see a man. The shock on his face when he saw little old me was priceless. I would save it in my memory forever.
“What the fu—” he started, his words cut off when I slammed him against the wall.
“I believe she said no,” I growled into his face, pleasantly surprised to find that it was wolf fangs I bared at him. Even better.
Everything that happened next was a blur. The power roared in my ears, and the darkness overtook me, consuming all I was. I lost track of Kale, the girl, everything but the man I tore to shreds.
In a blackout of rage and violence, I lost myself. Whatever it was that attacked that man, very little of it was my true self. Or perhaps this was my true self now.
I tasted blood and fear. So much fear. Screams rang out, but they sounded far away. I paid them no mind. My senses blazed as the energy filled me. At some point I cast the mutilated remains of my victim aside and went for another. Where he’d come from, I wasn’t sure, and I didn’t care.
This one wanted me because I wrapped him with my succubus power and turned him into a whimpering, begging mess. When I was done with him, I went onto the next.
By the time I came back to myself, I was sitting on the floor in the living room with bodies strewn about all around me. Blood stained my clawed fingertips, and the taste of it was thick in my mouth. I felt light headed, the euphoric high carrying me as if I walked on air.
The music had stopped, and the only sound was the heavy, tragic silence. I stared around at the slaughter and felt strangely detached. I’d done this. I should feel something.
One long, agonized scream echoed from an upstairs bedroom. That’s where I’d find Kale. For a while I just sat there, looking at what I’d done. It flashed me back to Las Vegas when I’d killed a hotel room full of guys after being drugged with wolfsbane. There was nothing and nobody to blame now. Only me.
I didn’t know who I was anymore. Between the vampire and the wolf, where did I fit in? Did I even exist anymore, or had I truly died that night in Arys’s arms?
As quickly as I’d lost myself, I came back. A cry ripped from me as what I’d done began to sink in. I gazed about at the slaughter, and I hated everything I’d become. I should’ve stayed dead.
Sinister laughter broke the silence. It caused my heart to stutter. I’d know that laugh anywhere.
The air moved behind me, and I turned to find the demon enjoying my moment of pain and remorse. Dressed all in black, his ebony wings tucked in close to his body, Shya appraised the scene with obvious delight.
“See, Alexa,” he quipped. “I told you that the dark would claim you.”
Chapter Eight
The dragon on my forearm tingled in his presence. He’d likely used it to find me. Ignoring it, I slowly got to my feet. Shya didn’t frighten me. Not anymore. He couldn’t possibly scare me more than I scared myself.
“Don’t you have some sulking and wound licking to do?” I asked, my tone ice cold. “Pretty brave of you to show your face here, isn’t it?”
Whatever reaction he’d been expecting from me, he didn’t get it. I could tell by the displeased frown he wore.
“I suppose you’re quite proud of yourself. Not only did you succeed in keeping Lilah’s empire locked away, you lured my right hand man into helping you. I guess I can’t compete with a succubus. You clearly have something I don’t.” He gestured rudely at his groin, and I smirked.
“Aww, Shya, do you have a case of vagina envy?” I snickered though it lacked mirth.
If he thought I’d fucked Falon into helping me, he was all kinds of wrong, but I had no desire to enlighten him. I didn’t really give a damn what Shya thought. Falon had been acting on Lilah’s behalf, or perhaps his own, but nothing he’d done had been for me.
“Apparently one is required when it comes to Falon. Pity. He was one of my best. But I didn’t come to discuss him.” Shya waded through the mess, picking his way carefully around the bodies as if afraid to get blood on his fancy shoes.
I watched with heavy suspicion as he made his way to me. Every step that brought him closer increased the dread growing inside me. No matter how powerful I was now, I couldn’t take Shya. If he was here for retribution, he just might get it.
Standing my ground became difficult when he didn’t stop a polite distance away. I gathered my power close, ready to go down fighting. The grim expression he wore held a hint of sly intent. He couldn’t be trusted.
Shya stepped painfully close, completely invading my personal space. Brow raised, he gave me a scrutinizing once over. Then he tasted my power.
Running a hand along my aura, close but never touching, he felt me out. It was the best way to determine how much power a person had. It was also slightly invasive and incredibly rude. The close proximity wasn’t necessary. It could be done at a distance. Shya was trying to intimidate me.
“You feel good,” he said, the corner of his mouth lifting in a half sneer. “Spectacular. Vampirism agrees with you. You’ve finally come into your own. How does it feel?”
I pushed back against him, more of a shove really. The force struck him, thrusting him back several feet. The little effort it took to get the demon out of my personal space pleased me. I could get used to this.
Despite his lecherous tone, Shya’s interest in my power was not sexual in nature. He’d never reacted to me the way so many others had. He just loved power in general, in all its forms, which was why he’d sought out so many uniquely powerful people to serve him in his quest for more.
“It feels like I’ve lost my fucking mind. In case you didn’t notice.” I flung out a hand to indicate the carnage. “No thanks to you. If you weren’t so obsessed with things that don’t belong to you, it wouldn’t have happened this way.”
He withdrew his metaphysical touch and smiled. There was a glint to his red eyes that I’d come to know meant he was scheming. “You didn’t have to interfere. That was your choice. Had you planned on being a senior citizen when you finally became a vampire? It had to happen some time.”
“Shut up,” I muttered, feeling absentminded. The rush of the kill had left me exhilarated and high. The demon was quickly causing me to crash and burn.
Shya smiled at the mess of bodies before turning his evil grin on me. “You know there is only one person you can blame for any of this. The one who took your darkness is the one who left you to be tormented.”
A deep venomous rage flooded me. With fists clenched the power spilled from me until I was vibrating with it. It was just like Shya to pin this all on Willow.
It was true that Willow had taken the dark that would have claimed me upon my turn to vampire. Because he’d sacrificed himself in my place, I was still stuck where I’d always been, holding both the light and the dark within me. The dark came from Arys, the part of him that was part of me. The light was my own. Losing it had been my greatest fear. Until I saw what keeping it would be like. Now I was just lost and confused and filled with hatred for the demon before me.
“Don’t you dare bring him into this,” I seethed, fighting to restrain myself. If I let a blast fly at Shya, he might just destroy me. Although, would that be such a bad thing?
“Your guardian thought he was saving you,” Shya continued, very much aware of my fragile mental state and clearly enjoying it. “When in fact he was condemning you to a fate worse than if the dark had overtaken you. I hope it’s haunting him now.”
A frustrated growl rumbled in my throat. I watched as Shya nudged a body with his toe. Unable to hold back, I took a shot. It hit him harder than
I expected, throwing him across the room. Instead of angry retaliation, he merely laughed.
Shya got to his feet, smoothing out his suit as if I’d rumpled it. “Now the beast is really out of her cage, hmm? This should be interesting. I can’t wait to see how you destroy yourself.”
He flared his wings out wide behind him, but otherwise never reacted to my temper. I hated him more than words could ever convey.
“How did he know?” I blurted before I could rein in the question. “How did Willow know he could save me from total darkness?”
Shya regarded me with something that almost bordered on sympathy. Or pity. Neither of which I wanted from him.
“Of course he knew, Alexa. We’ve been around since the beginning of time. Willow walked in both worlds. He knew well what you faced, and he knew what it would take to save you. And condemn you.”
“Screw you, Shya.”
“The truth is a harsh thing, isn’t it? That’s why we seek to escape it in such acts of pain and desperation.” He inclined his head toward the scene we stood in, forcing me to face what I’d done with his eyes upon me.
I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of making me feel guilty. Turning the tables would be the only way to make him to get to the point of his visit here.
Pinning Shya with a cool stare, I smiled a little when I said, “Willow is more powerful now than you will ever be. You know it. I know it. I can’t wait until he makes you suffer for what you did to Christina.”
Shya choked on a bark of laughter. “The whore? Nonsense. Willow is where he belongs now, as are you.”
“No.” I shook my head sadly as I recalled the look on Willow’s face when he told me that Shya had killed the woman he loved. “He’s got nothing left to lose. You should be worried.”
Shya’s expression remained stony and cold. “Don’t be too quick to cast out vengeance upon others, Alexa. There is some coming your way as well.”
Crossing my arms in an attempt to appear in control, I scoffed. “Is this the part where you swear that you’ll get revenge on me for the whole Lilah’s empire thing? Ok, let’s hear it.”
