Through Lies and Heartache

by WB Amore

  Ryan

  I watch her walk up to the line with Rori, I know coach said something about her not trying out for track, that really irritated look gives her away, she said that she forgot when tryouts were but with that look I’m beginning to wonder if she didn’t go on purpose. I know I was gone a month. She seemed a little anxious about the dates, I wonder if that’s when tryouts were… She knew I would make her go. I know she loves to run because she helped me train this summer. If she hadn’t helped I wouldn’t be as good as I am. I see her start to push harder in her second lap she must be all twisted in her head. Once she starts down that rabbit whole, she won’t stop until her legs give out.

  This gives me time to think, really think about all our talks today. It really has me worried, she’s never upset about her dad not being here, I mean don’t get me wrong she has her moments when I know it bothers her but she has never acted like she has today. It makes me wonder what is going on in that head of hers as she runs, I remember the first thing she told me this summer when we started running, ‘if I couldn’t keep up with her that wasn’t her problem and she sure as shit wasn’t gonna slow down for me, if I wanted to run with her I also wasn’t allowed to talk no matter what and I better keep up.’

  I’ve never figured out where she goes in that head of hers but I do know that even after this summer I still don’t stand a chance at running half as long as she does. I’m finishing my third lap and she’s almost done with her fourth and coach is all sunshine and smiles. I see him tense as Gracie gets closer, shrugging it off I run like Gracie taught me to this summer no holding back and shut down all thoughts, just run…

  Chapter Eight

  Gracie

  As I run by Coach I tell him ‘whatever, hope your happy you got what you wanted.’ Heading straight into the showers. No one’s finished that I know of so I should be alone for a little bit. I shower and get dressed and grab my backpack. I’m so damn irritated that coach only ran us today, to get me on the team but mostly I’m irritated because he was right. Leaving the locker room I see a few kids coming in but I keep going. I’m out, I don’t think I can handle anything else right this moment. All that run did was get me riled up and I’ll need about a two hour run to work all this crazy shit circling out into saner shit.

  Walking to my locker put my Government book in my locker and grab my history book and another note book and shut my locker, ready to head over to Mr. Nelson’s class which happens to be by the back lot, maybe I should grab all my books and sneak out the back door after class. With that thought I turn back around I grab all my books keeping my history stuff in my arms, shutting my locker I head to class just as the bell rings releasing classes.

  When I get there most seats are open so I grab the far corner seat in the very back row. That way if I have a surprise visitor I can’t be all that surprised. I don’t keep my head down, that shit got me in trouble earlier, when Liam walks in. I let out a big sigh just one class with no drama would be nice, well I have English that’s going to be my saving grace, with that thought I let out a little laugh. When Liam takes the seat next to mine I have to fight from letting out yet another sigh. When I look over he’s watching me intently I finally let out the sigh and ask,

  “What Liam?”

  “What the hell was that on the track and why did you leave before class was out?”

  “Liam it’s no secret that I’ve done track all through school and I left to shower and change like everyone else.”

  “Gracie I thought coach was gonna have a stroke when you walked away.”

  “Can we please, please, please not talk about this? I’m really pissed at him as it is and thinking about it is really making me more pissed off.”

  “OK Farfalla.” I can’t remember the last time he’s called me butterfly, this brings a little smile to my lips as I stare at him. Liam has called me Farfalla for most of my life, when we were three I wanted to be a butterfly for Halloween, once it was over I refused to take the costume off. I wanted to wear it everywhere we went.

  “Thanks Tagliatelle” I say while giggling using the name I called him when we were kids.

  Liam

  I let out a laugh at that, I remember how I got the nickname Tagliatelle, which means noodle. With a shake of my head I can’t help but laugh again as I recall it.

  ~*~

  We were about six and the three of us - Ryan, Gracie and I - were in the kitchen at Gracie’s helping our mom’s make dinner like many other nights in our childhood, when all the sudden I was smacked in the face with a handful of noodles, when I turned to look where it came from. A few noodles fell but most stayed as I watched Gracie fall into a fit of giggles. I ran over to her taking some noodles and shoving them in her face as I held her down, when all the sudden I’m slapped with more noodles from Ryan.

  ~*~

  With another shake of my head I let out a sigh, things like this make what I have to do just that much harder. I’ve known Gracie and Ryan sense I can remember, our moms are best friends and they grew up together with the three of us being so close in age all within a few months of each other we’ve done everything together from learning to ride bikes to sports, we would have sleep overs all the time; mostly at Gracie’s we used to pile pillows into a fort in the middle of the living room and watch movies.

  Even as teens we would sleep over on the weekends, always in the living room still in our fort. That is until I was 15 when my father sent me away and now I’m being forced to do something that very well may break me, in more than one way. I’m pulled out of my thoughts as Gracie smacks me when I look at her she looks concerned so I smile at her and mouth “What?” she lets out a little laughs and ask me under her breath “Did you not hear anything that Mr. Nelson just said?”

  Just shaking my head at her she slides a paper over to me as Mr. Nelson continues to talk about the things we’ll cover in this class. Reading it I smile, we have to do a huge project that’s due at the end of the semester just before Christmas break, I’m happy because the two of us have been paired together.

  I miss her and this will allow me to be close to her and spend time with her without Ryan breathing down her neck to stay away from me. This may be a little harder then she thinks because Ryan is going to put up a huge fight. Ever since I was sent away he’s never hidden his disdain for me, I’m not sure how he explains it to her or how he manages to keep her from me without telling her everything. I know she pulled away from the both of us after I was sent away, she got so bad that she failed our freshman year, I repeated it also so that I could be close to her, I also know Ryan stayed because her father wanted her protected and she can’t be protected if no one’s here to watch her. I know she doesn’t know because she wouldn’t be as care free as she is. I wonder when she’s going to open her eyes, once she does it won’t take much to see everything and I wonder what she’s going do with all of it.

  I know being forced away from my best friends wasn’t easy and now being forced back into their life’s just too possibly have it all ripped away again. I’m not sure I’ll survive that and I know Ryan won’t handle it if she doesn’t let him near her. Ever sense I was sent away I’ve been forced to watch her I’ve noticed how close the two have become almost like he’s trying to consume her but it’s almost as if neither one of them sees it. Mr. Nelson talks all through class. After the bell rings I look over at Gracie, wondering how well this is going to go. I hand her back the paper with a shake of my head asking,

  “Well you want to tell Ry or should I?” Her brows pinch together as she mutters under her breath as she shoves everything into her bag, I only catch a few choice words that would make any sailor proud. I let out a laugh when she shoots me a nasty glair I stop abruptly.

  “Don’t you start with me about Ryan. You know he still won’t tell me what the hell happened between the two of you. Just that I need to stay away from you, also that you aren’t who I think you are and that you’re not safe for me to be around. Liam what the hell happen
ed?” she almost pleads with me, I stand up and reach for her and hug her close “Farfalla you have…” I start to say but am cut off when someone clears their throat. When I look up I see Ryan standing in the door way looking pissed as hell. I let out a sigh and hold Gracie a little tighter, god I miss her.

  Chapter Nine

  Gracie

  Getting a hug from Liam is nice I miss him, he was like the big brother I never had. I wipe the tears from my eyes before I look up and meet Ryan’s eyes. It breaks my heart seeing so much hate between them. Knowing how close we used to be, I never understood why Liam stopped coming around and anytime I ask Ryan what happened or talk about Liam he either shuts down or snaps some shit about me not knowing who he really is and I can’t trust him, then he’ll change the subject. With a curse he shakes his head and tells me we need to go. I hug Liam one last time before walking away, I miss my best friends.

  When Ryan gets in the car I tell him, “Liam and I were paired together on a project and I don’t want to hear it. Honestly, Ryan not one word. Unless you give me a damn good reason like what happened, why he was sent away. I will be doing this project with Liam and you’re going to back the hell off. I miss him, shit I miss you, you haven’t been the same sense he stopped coming around. I know you and I are close but I know there are things you keep from me, for whatever reasons you have. But know I’m not your sister and you’re not my dad, so I’m done with this shit.” I know I’m rambling so I take a deep breath as I look at my hands. I feel his finger under my chin as he tries to lift it I fight him a little but can’t fight it when he whispers “Farfalla.” causing me to look at him because he hasn’t called me that since Liam stopped coming around, that’s when he started calling me Piccolina.

  With a sigh “I’m sorry ok? I know you miss him, all of us together, I do too but I know you won’t listen to me about staying away but know this, he is dangerous and you need to be careful around him. Please always have your phone with you when you’re with him.” He pleads with me. I’m tired of fighting with him so I just nod my head at him and sit back looking out the window as we head to my house. On the way he stops at a little hole in the wall diner to get something to eat.

  Ryan

  “Come on Gracie, I’m hungry for a burger and fries plus we need to talk.”

  “I’m tired of fighting with you please can we do this another day?”

  “Nope because we’re not going to fight, just talk I promise.”

  “Ok fine but Liam is not up for discussion.”

  “Understood.”

  Heading in we seat ourselves its pretty empty just a few old timers. She’s not going to be happy with what we need to talk about. I got a call just after she walked away from me at lunch. When the waitress comes over we order, after she’s gone I take a deep breathe and look at her as I tell her,

  “I have to train more, I have a fight the last Saturday of every month for the next 4 maybe 6 months. The last two haven’t been confirmed.”

  I hold my breath waiting for her to explode but all she does is hang her head, shoulders drooping. When she finally answers all she says is,

  “Is this why you aren’t fighting me about being around Liam because you have fights to get ready for and you won’t be able to be around as often.”

  “I want to fight you on Liam but you said no fighting, so I’m not. I want like to run with you, like we did this summer.”

  “As long as you don’t mind some of them being at the track during Track practice that’s fine plus we still need to figure out when we’ll do our projects for school.”

  She says as the waitress drops off our drinks and she ignores Gracie when she asks if there’s anything else we need and bends over giving me a nice view down her shirt but I don’t look. I do look at her hand as she settles it onto my arm to tell me the food will be done in just a few short minutes. I look up in her eyes and tell thanks and we’re good. With that she walks away. Gracie heaves a sigh, looking at her I tell her.

  “Well I figured we could do them at lunch the same days we run at the track. What do you think?”

  I finally look down because she isn’t saying anything and she won’t look at me. With a sigh I stir my soda with my straw.

  “That should work how about this week I’ll talk to coach and let him know our plan, he knows how I train so it shouldn’t be a problem, I can’t believe he suckered me into training.”

  “Why did he even have to sucker you in? Why didn’t you just try out, you knew you would have made the team, plus you love to run. So what gives?” The waitress brings our food over.

  “Can I get some Ranch?” Gracie asks her but she’s too busy asking me if I need anything, Gracie rolls her eyes, looking up at the waitress I ask “Can she get some ranch?”

  “I don’t know I wanted to take this year off and just worry about classes.”

  “Wait, were you going to run at all this year? Not even for exercise?” I ask in complete wonder of how she would do that because she’s a little narcissistic about her running, always has been... She won’t look at me again, she’s looking in her soda like a Madame would look into her Crystal ball. Shaking her head she finally answers.

  “No I wasn’t going to run at all this year.”

  “Why help me this summer if you knew you were going to stop when school started?”

  “Shit, you really want to talk about why I won’t run? How about we talk about our school project.”

  “What is it Gracie, why won’t you talk about this?”

  She just shakes her head and finishes eating, so I let it go and finish my food. I ask the waitress for the check and when she brings the receipt back, I notice it has her name and number on it. I just shake my head and leave it on the table, Getting up offering Gracie my hand to help her up. Leading her out to the car, she doesn’t say a word the entire time on the way to her house.

  Chapter Ten

  Gracie

  Shit, I knew these questions were coming but I didn’t want to have to answer him. About a month before school started, Ryan had to leave to train for a fight. I don’t know anything about the fight accept that he left to travel and train early where the fight was being held. I didn’t know where he was going and not who he was fighting, believe me I tried to find out because I wanted to watch it but it was never aired and there was never any talk about it.

  I try not to think about it now because it makes me wonder how many of his other fights were like this last one. How many more will there be? I quit running because I didn’t want to help him train for fights I knew nothing about. Childish I know, but I’ve known him my whole life, I would hate for him to get hurt in something legal let alone something illegal.

  On the way home I don’t say anything to him, just before I get out I look at him “I quite running because I don’t want to help you train for illegal fights. If I run you want to run with me, if I don’t run I don’t train with you.” He has this look of pure shock but you can see the gears turning because the look is slipping to one of irritation. I hold up my hand to stop him before he smarts off.

  “Look I have a lot of homework, I’ll do a little looking into our research tonight, and I know you have to go train with Beni. Don’t worry we’ll run a few days a week, during track you. Your coach can plan your cardio days and you can run with me those days and if they think you need more, closer to the fights you can add more cardio, no worries. Just know this, I don’t want to know anything about any fight you take on. Night Ry.” I hurry and grab my bag off the floor and hightail it out of there, before he can say anything. Head up the steps and into the kitchen there’s a note on the counter

  Figlia,

  I was called into work there’s money on the fridge to order food if you’d like

  Love Mama

  I let out a sigh I hate that she works so much but I know we need it but also right this second I’m glad that she’s at work. I’ve had a rough day and just want to do my homework and crash, so I do just that. Ov
er the next week, I do the same, I go to school only talking to Ryan in class about our projects, same with Liam I talk to him in class this week I ate lunch in the Library doing my own research on my projects. I go home eat, do my homework and go to bed. Mom’s been super busy with this new case they have her on but we eat dinner every night together, it’s nice to spend time together so we started watching movies after dinner. I forgot how nice it was to have mom time, this last two months for her has been hard because they gave her more of a work load.

  I do much the same thing for the next three weeks and Coach wants to talk to me about training after school today so at lunch I tell Ryan that if he wants to talk to coach about him running with me during track after school then I’m talking to him today.

  Chapter Eleven