It was around 2 p.m. and there were not too many people on the street. He exited the cafe and sat on his Vespa but dropped the plan of driving. Instead, he started walking in her direction while combing his hair. He nervously rubbed his hands as he inched closer. Lost in her own world with her headphones plugged in, she effortlessly walked towards him while every step took tremendous effort for Apurv. His heart skipped a beat when he saw her just a few metres away.
Fuck, she should be a therapist, she can easily hypnotize anyone. I think I should turn back, I just can’t do this. No, it will look so weird if I turn suddenly in the middle of the road. Who does that? One second you are walking north and the other second you turn south. I will look idiotic. I should speak. Come on, Apurv, go for it.
‘Hi,’ he muttered, his face expressionless.
His greeting went unnoticed because she had headphones on. By the time he realized this, she had already crossed him.
Damn, I am such an idiot, Apurv thought and turned again.
‘Hi.’ This time he was louder and Amyra heard him.
Apurv froze when she moved her hands to remove the headphones. He wished he could live such moments every day. He just couldn’t stop himself from staring at her.
‘Sorry?’
‘I said, “Hi”.’
She looked angry.
‘I mean, is there a Starbucks somewhere around here?’ Apurv was nervous and began making stuff up. ‘My friend is waiting for me there and asking elderly people about a coffee shop doesn’t make sense. Only you looked young enough around here to know where it might be. The data on my phone is also not working or else I would have checked Google Maps.’
‘It’s that way. Go straight and take a left.’
‘Thank you.’
She smiled and left, but he stood there looking like an idiot.
Absolute shit. Fine. Whatever. I’ll just date myself. He had completely mastered the art of doing the right things the wrong way. As he left, Apurv hoped she would attend the freshers’ party that evening. The damage had already been done and he desperately needed a doctor to cure his pain, a trainer to teach him to swim, a coach to make him run, and an officer to teach him the tricks of the trade as he clearly didn’t know anything.
Back home, Apurv was waiting for his dad to leave for his evening shift. He wanted to use his dad’s razor to shave for the very first time. Although he hardly had any stubble, he wanted to look perfect that night.
Once his dad left, he opened his shaving kit and fished out the razor, a small tube of shaving cream and the brush. Before he started, he watched a few YouTube videos to get it right. After examining the angles perfectly, he rubbed his palm on his chin and slowly started spreading the foam from his cheekbones all the way down to his chin. He didn’t need that much but it was fun. Next, he picked up the razor and placed it on his cheek. His hand trembled but with one stroke he moved the blade down to his chin. Dipping the razor in a mug of water, he repeated the process.
‘Ouch!’ he screamed in pain. Overconfidence kills your happiness, they say. It had made a gash on Apurv’s face.
It looked so easy in the video. Now my freshers’ night is ruined. He had no courage to finish shaving.
Shit happens! I mean look at your face, he said to himself looking into the mirror. He was confused about whether or not to attend the party. He finally gave in when both Ritvik and Sia forced him to join them. The plan had been to pick Sia up first and then get going, but she was already on her way while Ritvik was already there. Apurv drove straight to college where both of them were waiting to receive him.
‘Dude, what’s wrong with your face?’ Ritvik asked.
‘Long story, fuck it.’
‘Did you try to shave for the first time?’ Sia asked.
‘Is there anything we can hide from girls?’ Apurv asked sarcastically.
‘I doubt it.’
‘Seriously? What the . . .’ Ritvik couldn’t stop laughing.
Till they reached the party, Apurv was mocked. Friends are often ruthless in such situations. The stage was set and the speakers were already blasting music. It was so loud that they could hardly hear anyone speak. Everyone was grooving to the tunes played by the DJ.
‘Amyra has been made Miss Fresher. You missed it,’ Ritvik informed both Sia and Apurv who were late.
‘You’re joking, right?’
‘No. Why would I? Aren’t you happy?’
Sia was hardly able to hear their conversation because of the music and didn’t bother interfering.
‘Certainly not. That almost concludes my chances,’ Apurv replied in a sad voice.
‘Oh crap! Don’t worry. I have a solution.’
‘A solution?’
‘Yes.’ Ritvik unzipped his bag and showed him five half-litre bottles of Thums Up. Sia too peeped in, looking puzzled.
‘You mean Thums Up is the solution?’
‘No, the whisky in it is,’ Ritvik winked.
‘Are you serious?’
‘Of course.’
‘I’ve never had whisky before.’ Apurv confessed that he never really had an opportunity to drink before.
‘Do you think I am a drunkard? It’s my first time too,’ Ritvik replied.
‘No, guys, please don’t.’ Sia looked scared.
Sia tried stopping them from drinking on campus but both the guys were convinced that they should go for it. They also saw a couple of other groups drinking which motivated them further. Sip by sip, minute by minute and song after song, they felt tipsier. The more they drank, the more effortlessly their Ganapati visarjan dance moves came out. They also became more emotional.
‘Sia, you are my best friend. The bestest.’
‘Apurv, you should stop it. The two of you are already three bottles down.’
‘Don’t worry. We still have two more. Sia, I have one question. Did you also get cut when you shaved for the first time?’
Apurv had an innocent look in his drunken eyes as if he seriously wanted an answer.
‘No, I never use a razor.’
‘Wow, you’re so technologically advanced. You should be a techie rather than a designer. Next time, before shaving, I will ask for your kit. It seems safer. You are my best friend.’
Apurv was swaying to the music and that’s when Amyra saw Sia standing behind him and waved at her. Sia waved back when she saw Amyra coming towards her. Apurv, who was totally lost, saw Amyra walk towards him all of a sudden.
Is this real? Is time moving in the opposite direction or am I really drunk? Why is she coming towards me again? No headphones? Even her dress is different. She was in jeans but now she is in a dress. Oh fuck, she is coming here for real.
Apurv drank the remaining Thums Up in one go. He stayed quiet while he saw Sia and Amyra interacting. It was only when Sia turned towards him that he tried to fake a smile as if he was not drunk.
‘This is Apurv, my friend,’ Sia said as she introduced him to Amyra.
‘Hi, Apurv. Nice to meet you.’
‘Where are your headphones?’ Apurv was still in a trance.
‘Aren’t you the same guy who was looking for Starbucks today?’
Sia was puzzled and wondered if Amyra too was drunk.
‘Yes, I love you. Sia, I love her. I love you too. But I love her more.’ Apurv grinned without realizing what he was saying.
‘What? You have gone nuts.’ Amyra took back the hand that she had extended for a handshake.
‘No, seriously, I love you. I have since day one.’ Apurv continued to babble.
‘He is drunk. I’ll catch you later.’ Sia was embarrassed by Apurv’s behaviour. Amyra walked away without reacting. Sia spent the next few minutes screaming at Apurv. In response, he dared her to drink.
‘Come on, have a sip. Break the rules. I dare you.’
‘No.’
‘You think you don’t have guts? You came out of the Blue Whale Challenge alive. You certainly need guts for that. Believe in yourself. Come on
,’ Apurv urged her.
‘You think I can’t? Let me show you.’
Sia took a bottle out of the bag and chugged it in one go. Only after she had finished the bottle did she realize that she felt different. Once the whisky entered her system, her control exited. It is said that whisky mixes well with everything apart from the decisions we take when drunk. Sia even accepted Apurv’s dare to go on stage and talk about everyone who had insulted her.
As she walked towards the stage, she felt like she had superpowers. Without worrying about the consequences, she snatched the mic from the host and unplugged the speakers to stop the music. Ritvik who had gone to the bathroom and missed all the drama returned just in time and stood beside Apurv. He hadn’t expected his ten minutes in the bathroom to be so eventful. After looking at Apurv once, Sia exploded.
‘To all those who think I am fat and ugly, you need to “FOCUS”. Yes, you need to Fuck Off Cause You are Shit. Get the hell out of here, you rascals. You wrote shit about me on the blackboard, I shit on your face, you assholes. Talk to my middle finger.’
As she got off the stage, Apurv and Ritvik were waiting for her. The three of them ran away from the campus. Apurv even forgot his Vespa. They weren’t aware of anything they had done that evening. Apurv had just confessed his love to Amyra without caring about her response. They had all got drunk for the first time ever. And Sia had kicked the balls of all her bullies publicly.
Sometimes you meet people and it’s clear that you belong together. Out of nowhere, these people come into your life and make you feel alive. Apurv was one such person in Sia’s life. The girl who had no reason to live had not only attacked her haters that night, but also broken the rules by drinking on the campus. All within a week of making this new friend.
Follow Your Brain, the Heart Is an Idiot
A relationship works best when the people in it grow and become better in each other’s company. Ritvik, Sia and Apurv’s bond kept growing stronger as they spent more time with each other. They could spend hours together without getting bored. They could also share secrets without being judged. Sia received some much-needed undivided attention in the company of these guys. She was enjoying this new phase of her life.
All three of them were shortlisted for the play. The day the announcements were made, they had to audition for the final selection. Apurv submitted his write-up and left early because it was his mother’s birthday. Ritvik and Sia had just auditioned for the voice-over.
‘Sia, can we go out to eat something? I am hungry,’ Ritvik requested.
‘Now?’
‘Ya. Let’s go to Growel’s. It’s within walking distance.’
Ritvik was not really hungry, but for the last few days he had wanted to make a confession. Every day he thought he would speak out but something or the other stopped him from doing so. He thought he had the perfect opportunity to speak his heart out that day because he needed to be alone with her to help her understand the lab incident. He could have deleted the incident from his mind because Sia had no clue he was the one who had sketched her, but his conscience killed him every day.
‘What do you plan to do after college?’ Sia asked Ritvik on their way to the restaurant.
‘I don’t know. I just took science because my parents thought I would look like a fool if I opted for commerce or arts after getting more than 90 per cent.’
‘What silly notions we have. I wonder if anyone takes science because they want to.’
‘Yes, people like Apurv do. He should have taken commerce; his wish of finding a girlfriend would have been fulfilled by now.’
Sia grinned as they entered the restaurant and took a seat. After ordering snacks and replying to pending WhatsApp messages, Ritvik finally decided to speak. His trembling hands, beating heart and shaky legs clearly revealed his nervousness.
‘Sia, I want to tell you something. I don’t know how you will take it but trust me, I never wanted or expected what happened,’ Ritvik said in a low voice.
‘What do you mean? Are you okay? Do you want some Thums Up?’ Sia sensed his nervousness and tried to lighten the mood.
‘I am serious.’
Sia looked straight into his eyes when she realized the intensity of the situation.
‘Do you remember the chemistry lab incident?’
‘Of course, how can I forget?’ she responded in anger as the memories flashed in her mind.
‘I was the one who had initially made the drawing of you. But it was because I wanted you to realize that you aren’t ugly but chubby and cute. My intention was to make you smile. I didn’t realize the extent to which our classmates would go. I just left class for some work and the drama unfolded. Please forgive me.’
Sia stayed silent for some time and then spoke.
‘Why are you telling me this now? I mean I didn’t even know about it and was actually over that incident.’ Sia had tears in her eyes.
‘I felt like I should tell you. We are always together in college and I had been hiding this from you. I felt it wasn’t right.’
‘And was it right to express concern over my looks?’
‘No. But I realized that later. I wish I was mature enough to understand it before,’ Ritvik tried to defend himself.
‘Was Apurv also involved in it?’
‘No, he didn’t even know you that time. I know you are close to Apurv now but I have only the two of you. You both mean a lot to me, although I’ve never said this before.’
Ritvik really cared for his friends and couldn’t think of hurting them intentionally. Sia realized this and knew that his actions weren’t intentional. But that incident had affected her deeply. She felt broken. She was angry that he had stayed tight-lipped over the past few days.’
‘You hurt me, Ritvik. Goodbye.’
Without letting him respond, Sia walked away. Ritvik ran behind her but she refused to look back.
‘Please forgive me.’
‘Leave me alone for now.’
Neither words nor tears can describe how a broken heart feels. He watched her leave and the worst part was that he felt like he deserved it. The moment she walked away, he felt a part of him leave, something he had never felt before. Had he started falling for her? He had always thought that she was just a friend. But ‘just friends’ don’t look at each other like that.
He immediately sent her a message.
I feel ashamed that I broke your trust. I’m sorry. There is nothing in the whole world that I will allow to come between us—not even my own mistakes. Please try to understand. If I had done it deliberately, I would have hurt you when we became friends, but I was just waiting to tell you the truth. Doesn’t that prove that I can never hurt you? Please, let it go.
Sia was already on her way home when she responded.
Ritvik, can you please leave me alone for some time? I understand that you didn’t do it on purpose but even I have emotions. I just need some time.
Ritvik didn’t react further. He thought it was better to give Sia some space. The real problem is that we get attached. And once we’re attached to someone, we do everything we can to please them. Sia was hurt and Ritvik was ready to do anything to make her smile.
‘You look disturbed. Don’t you want to take part in the play?’ Apurv asked Sia when he saw her sitting alone in a classroom.
‘It’s not like that. I am just a little upset.’
‘Anything specific?’
‘I think I should start loving my fat rather than anyone else. It seems to stick to me loyally when everyone else prefers to hurt me and leave.’
‘I must say that your sense of humour has improved after being with me for a few days.’ Apurv tried to bring a genuine smile to her face. ‘You can talk to me.’
Sia told him what had happened the previous afternoon. He clearly remembered every minute of that day and disclosed the truth to her.
‘Sia, you have really misunderstood him. Ritvik is a nice chap. We were together in the lab when the incident took
place. Before everyone came into the lab, he had made the sketch with no intention to hurt you. I clearly remember he had said that he just wanted to make you smile as he had seen you hating yourself. I was the one who took him away to register for the play and things got messed up. You should blame me instead.’
‘Which means Ritvik was not lying yesterday. He said the same thing—that he left for some work and when he returned the drama was over.’
Sia felt guilty for behaving the way she did with Ritvik.
‘Exactly! Ritvik would never hurt anyone. He may make some mistakes but his intentions are good. He’ll hurt himself to help others but I personally don’t think he was wrong. The rest is your call.’
Before Sia could speak, Apurv got a call from Ritvik who soon joined them. He had been looking for Sia who was ignoring his calls. He had planned something to make her feel special, and this time he was a little more careful.
‘I am sorry.’
‘Oh fuck!’ Apurv screamed all of a sudden. Both Sia and Ritvik turned towards him in confusion. ‘Now I know why the hell you were apologizing repeatedly when Sia was about to jump. You thought she was doing it because of you.’ Apurv couldn’t stop laughing.
‘Such idiots you are! I am sorry, Ritvik. Apurv told me everything that happened that day. I overreacted.’
‘It was my fault and I am making up for it,’ Ritvik said while unzipping his bag. He took out a big box of Hershey’s chocolates. He had invested all his pocket money in making her smile. And she did!
‘How did you know I love these?’
‘You’re eating these in your latest Instagram video. You looked super cute.’
They hugged each other and Apurv joined in. Things are so simple with friends, unlike in relationships—one day you are upset with them and the next day you are drinking together. That’s what makes friendship so pure. The three of them were better together!
‘Now let’s leave. We are supposed to gather in the seminar room. All the shortlisted students are being called. The final team for the play is supposed to be announced today,’ Apurv declared.
She Friend-Zoned My Love Page 5
