‘Don’t worry, Amyra, it won’t be long now,’ he whispered into her ear, causing a shiver to run down her body.
I can’t wait to have him. After what felt like forever, they finally pulled up to Apurv’s apartment. His parents were away and he was taking full advantage of that. The security guard looked at them in shock but they ignored him. They ran up to the fourth floor and Apurv made sure his neighbours’ door was locked. He quickly reached into his back pocket, and pulled out the keys, struggling to unlock the door.
‘Apurv, hurry the fuck up,’ she whispered, scared of getting caught. He replied with a simple grunt before the door finally swung open. Once inside, he closed the door with a kick and instantly pushed Amyra against it.
‘Apurv.’
He held her wrists gently. He looked pained. ‘Don’t.’
‘What?’
‘I won’t be able to control myself if you say my name like that again.’ He groaned lightly. ‘I’ve never wanted someone so much,’ he said in a low, husky voice.
‘I need you now, Apurv.’ His masculine scent tantalized her. She unknowingly pressed her body against his, ready to lose her V-card.
‘I love the way you say my name,’ he sighed. ‘You are so beautiful. When I saw you in college I never thought my first time would be with you.’
Adrenaline rushed through her body and all traces of tipsiness were gone. All she could think about was Apurv, his body pinning her beneath him. She was soothed by his embrace and relaxed against his body. He, in turn, forgot about his past and future and was reduced to this moment with her. They were together in an elemental embrace.
When it was all over, he pulled out. She hadn’t reached any mountain high or felt herself exploding, at least not like he had. It was all over his face, relaxed and at peace. How easy it is for men, she thought.
‘I love you,’ Apurv whispered as he lay on his back with his face tilted towards her.
Amyra just stared at him; no doubt he had made her first time memorable but the more Apurv tried to express his true love, the more she restrained her emotions. Apurv didn’t stress over it because their affection was real.
‘I’m going to shower. Do you want to join me?’ Apurv winked as he got out of bed.
‘No. You carry on.’ Amyra pulled the bed sheet to cover herself.
Amyra had other plans in mind. Once Apurv went into the bathroom, she removed the slab of Cadbury from her bag and melted it in the microwave. She took the bowl and a spoon and entered the bedroom with the sheet still wrapped around her. All set, she waited for Apurv to come out. The moment he did, he was instantly turned on at the sight of her on the bed, wrapped only in a thin sheet, her thighs bare. God, the hot chocolate was equally tempting. He just couldn’t take his eyes off it. She dipped the spoon in the chocolate and licked it clean while moaning with lust.
As she took another spoonful, she started to remove the sheet. Her soft skin shone, making Apurv lose his composure. With her eyes closed, she slowly ate the chocolate. It was marvellous to watch her eat, except the word ‘eat’ sounded too indelicate. While she ate, he starved for her and the bed sheet parted slowly to allow him one more trip to heaven.
The canteen was quiet when Amyra entered but Sia was sitting at her usual table. She slapped a self-deprecating smirk on her face although she knew that she was only doing so because it was expected of her.
‘Are you okay?’ Amyra asked Sia referring to the scene at the lounge a couple of nights ago.
‘Am I expected to answer that?’
‘No.’ Amyra rubbed her hands, looking around to see if she could spot anyone she knew.
Things didn’t seem like before. Amyra could see the tension and awkwardness in Sia’s eyes but she wanted her to talk about it. She had no hard feelings for Sia. ‘Do you know what happened once you left?’ Amyra asked Sia. ‘We went to his house and did it for the first time. It was heavenly. I never thought he would be so good.’ Amyra blushed.
Initially Sia didn’t believe her and thought she was spicing up a story. But a few details later Sia realized that she was telling the truth.
‘Are you nuts? You lost your virginity? That’s shameful.’
‘What’s so shameful about it? It’s not losing anything. Why do we consider our first experiences of everything else to be about gaining something but with sex, for some reason, we magically lose something. I didn’t suddenly become impure. I am still the same girl I was. I simply gained experience. This entire concept of virginity is bullshit.’
‘Of course, a slut like you would feel indifferently towards sex. Kissing Ishaan at the age of fourteen, wearing short skirts to lure boys and having sex with Apurv at sixteen. From school washrooms to guys’ bedrooms. What next? A baby at eighteen?’
Sia was angry because Apurv hadn’t told her a thing even though they had talked on the phone. It didn’t really matter to her if Apurv and Amyra had sex. Her words had shocked Amyra who didn’t expect them from someone who was always mocked for her looks. However, her words were not meant to hurt Amyra, rather they expressed concern for Apurv. What Sia didn’t realize was that her approach was absolutely wrong.
Rather than digging deeper to identify the root of her unresolved conflicts, Sia went ahead and attacked Amyra. How easily we criticize someone’s way of living when we are unable to articulate our feelings. She is drinking therefore she’s a slut. Look at her clothes, she’s a whore. She’s friends with so many guys, she’s a ‘ho’. We often prefer to take the easy route of abusing someone when we are upset, and Sia did just that.
‘Are you his girlfriend? I wouldn’t mind if you were committed to him but girls like you hop from one guy to another and fulfil your desires. You ditched Ishaan in school and I am sure you will ditch Apurv too. You are nothing but a whore.’
That was it. Amyra gave it back to Sia in a manner that was far worse.
‘Sia, you’ve gone way too far. I’ve never judged you but that hasn’t stopped you from judging me. Enough is enough. You think you can judge me just because I slept with him? It’s my decision. Who are you to tell me to commit? You are not my mom. Don’t act like a jealous bitch just because I can wear short skirts and you can’t because you look fat. And don’t call me a slut just because no one kissed you when you were fourteen. Did I call you a loser because you haven’t slept with anyone yet? You hang out with Ritvik all the time and you guys went out that night as well. Did I assume that you kissed him? How is it possible that he didn’t touch you even once?’
‘Ritvik is a decent guy. He is not like you, always thinking about sex. Even Apurv was like that before he met you. He was my best friend.’
‘What rubbish! Just because Apurv and I enjoy each other’s company and spend time with each other doesn’t mean we should be committed. Whatever happened that night was mutual and happened in the heat of the moment. No one regrets it but that doesn’t mean we should name our relationship. Stop being so judgemental. Instead be happy that I am not going to tell Apurv anything because I am not childish like you. Don’t just become fat, become smarter too.’
Sia picked up her bag and walked out of the canteen. All lines had been crossed as Sia and Amyra forgot they were friends. It’s saddening how easily the words ‘fat’ and ‘slut’ rolled off their tongues. And it’s amazing how much meaning is tied to these small words, how badly they can hurt us. It was as if Sia was insecure because of the grudge she held against Amyra since their schooldays. She hated Amyra for befriending everyone except her. Would she be able to become friends with Amyra ever again? Would Apurv continue to be friends with Sia after this incident? One thing was certain: things wouldn’t be the same any more.
To Me, You’re Perfect
Sometimes two people fall apart for no specific reason. There is no betrayal, no back-stabbing and no distrust. Just a few sharp words are enough to hurt their egos. Sia and Amyra were falling apart, but Amyra had made her realize the importance of love. Where she showed concern for Apurv as she
valued his friendship, she unknowingly took Ritvik for granted. He never made her feel alone when he was with her—isn’t that the law of a relationship? Also, he never took advantage of her trust when they were alone—isn’t that love? Instead of being pissed off about her fight with Amyra, Sia couldn’t stop herself from thinking about Ritvik.
Ritvik was about to reach college when he got a text from Sia asking where he was, which made him smile. That day, when he met Sia, he could see the same feeling in her eyes too, something he hadn’t seen before.
‘You are smiling again. Is everything sorted with Apurv?’
‘No. In fact, I had a huge fight with Amyra, but I feel strangely relaxed after it. Also, I’ve realized that it’s better not to stress over what’s lost. I should think about those who are valuable. Of course, Apurv is also valuable but I think I am just overthinking things.’
‘Oh wow. So it took Amyra to make you understand what I’ve been saying all this while.’
‘No, it took a fight with Amyra.’
‘Let’s celebrate with a coffee then. What do you think?’
‘Is there a special occasion?’ Sia could sense some naughtiness in his plan.
‘You’ve finally understood my value. Doesn’t that call for a celebration? Come on, let’s go.’ Ritvik pulled her away.
You cannot hide your emotions from girls; they always sense what’s on your mind. Sia had a feeling that Ritvik was taking their relationship to the next level but she kept her suspicions to herself. As he drove towards the nearest Starbucks, Sia couldn’t stop herself from glancing at him every few seconds. She didn’t want to take the initiative, although she loved it when he looked at her and smiled.
‘Are you comfortable?’
‘Yes,’ she whispered into his ears. The proximity made him feel good.
They reached the coffee shop and Ritvik felt relaxed to see it was not too crowded. It wasn’t that he hadn’t been alone with Sia before, but it was one of those days when he felt like he could look into her eyes for hours. Words weren’t needed as their feelings were communicated loud and clear.
‘Will you have something?’ Sia asked him.
‘It’s my treat. I’ll get you a coffee.’ Ritvik smiled and after perusing the menu for a good minute, he walked towards the cash counter. He looked really hot in his white sneakers and black outfit. Sia found herself observing him closely. Never before had she looked at him with such intentions, and now that she had, she couldn’t take her eyes off him. The way his face looked under the lights of the coffee shop made her swoon. This time, when he looked at her, she didn’t break eye contact and stared until he let out a shy smile.
Ritvik brought their coffee and, crossing his legs, asked, ‘What is it? You look different today.’
‘You look different too.’
‘I do?’
‘You look good in black.’
‘You’re very observant today. I feel like I am dreaming.’ Ritvik tore open a sugar packet.
‘Shut up.’ Sia threw a sugar packet at him. Little did she know that Ritvik had some serious plans in mind to take a step forward, a step on the road towards a relationship. This is why he had brought her to Starbucks when it was less crowded. It took a while for his nervousness to pass. There was a surprise hidden in her coffee mug and another waited for when she finished her drink.
Every night Ritvik wanted to say ‘I love you’ to her but managed to restrict it to a ‘goodnight’. When it came down to it, she was the only one he wanted, she was the only one he could imagine himself with, she was the only one he thought about when he heard a love song. She was the very last thought running through his mind before he drifted off to sleep. There he was sitting with her, a little nervous and afraid of rejection. It would mean the end of their friendship as he would never be able to look at her the same way. He was ready to take a risk as this was the only way he could take their relationship forward. With each sip of coffee she drank, his heart skipped a beat.
‘Why are you looking at my cup so carefully?’ Sia asked, confused.
‘What? Just enjoy the drink.’
Sia smiled and continued drinking. With the last few sips remaining, Ritvik started freaking out. He had never ever asked anyone out before. The last time he’d loved a girl, she’d started dating someone before he could even express his feelings to her. But with Sia not even aware of what was coming her way, Ritvik was trying hard to stay composed and not panic.
‘Are you okay?’
‘Only the next few minutes will tell.’ Ritvik gripped the couch as tightly as possible when the moment arrived. Sia took the last sip and saw something written at the bottom of the mug with a marker. She looked at it with surprise. She had tears in her eyes when she read aloud what was written. ‘Will you be mine?’
When Sia looked up at him, she realized Ritvik was on his knees beside her with a rose in his hand.
‘Sorry, I couldn’t afford a ring.’ He pulled his ear with a sheepish grin on his face.
Sia was smiling and crying at the same time. She had never expected anyone to be interested in dating her. Moreover, she hadn’t ever dreamt of being proposed to like this.
‘I love you, Sia. My mother once said that it’s not a real proposal unless someone gets down on one knee. Will you be my girlfriend?’
Sia was about to speak, when it was time for the second surprise. Ritvik had told the waiter to play his favourite song and make an announcement.
‘Sia, Starbucks takes pleasure in disclosing that Ritvik loves you a lot. We request you to accept his proposal and be his soulmate.’
Sia was speechless and, before his knees started hurting, she took Ritvik by his shoulders and made him sit beside her, accepting the rose from him. For the next few seconds, they simply stared at each other. Those few seconds seemed like years to him, and with every moment that passed in silence, he wished for things to go his way. Sia finally reacted.
‘Before you start dating me, you need to understand that I’m damaged. I get triggered easily. I have struggled with things. There are nights when I’m curled up like a ball on the floor and I don’t talk to anyone. I’ll shut you out too. I’m not going to be able to trust you for a while because everyone has always chosen someone else over me. I will need reassurance, I will need you to text me to say that you care when I start to feel bad again. So if you think I’m always happy, that I’ll always be positive and smile, you should know the reality. Enter my life only if you can handle it. Also, don’t dare touch my heart if you aren’t ready for it. I can’t lose a friend after a heartbreak. Your friendship means a lot to me and, though I have also started liking you, I can set my desires aside. I love you too, Ritvik, but I am not someone you can flaunt in front of your friends. One thing is for sure though, you will always be proud to have me in your life.’
Without wasting time, Ritvik held her hands and tightened his grip.
‘Please understand that I don’t want a clichéd relationship. I know that we will have our arguments and problems. I don’t want someone to flatter me every second. I want someone who will put me in my place when I’m wrong. I want you to know that I’m willing to stand by your side when you are struggling. I want to be stronger with you. Please be mine.’
‘You know what, Ritvik? There are people I wish I hadn’t shared my secrets with, and what’s funny is that I always thought of you as one of those people. But now I don’t regret anything. I really love you.’
Ritvik wiped away her tears and assured her that he would always be there for her no matter what. He would always make her smile even if he was having an off day. They hugged, the embrace taking their happiness to a whole new level. Love isn’t just what goes on between the sheets, it’s when you accept the person for the way he or she is. Ritvik knew that Sia was not a bombshell, but he loved her for who she was, someone who would never leave just because her expectations weren’t met. She had a pure soul and valued relationships because of what she had gone through in the past.
He loved her wholeheartedly, and Sia’s belief that no one would love her was quashed as they found eternity in each other’s arms!
In a world that believes in seven incarnations for lovers, Ritvik accepted Sia for all of time to come. We meet a sea of people but only a few touch our hearts—Ritvik was the one for Sia. Now that Sia had finally found someone who loved her, she didn’t want to look back ten years later and think, We could have been awesome, but I was afraid. She wanted to give it a try.
Once home, they spent hours talking to each other on the phone before moving to text messages. They shared everything with each other that evening. Ritvik sent her a message first.
I still feel that you should convince your parents and study fashion designing after junior college. There are distance-learning courses available too.
It’s not as easy as you think. My dad will disown me if I pursue a career in fashion. According to him, I am not the right kind of girl to do such things. Also, it doesn’t suit my family.
There is a solution to everything but we need to sort it out. Don’t worry. Muah!
*Blush*
I love you so much. I can never be the same again, now that I know you. You are my baby.
You have my word that I have never felt anything like this before and I am delighted that you are my boyfriend. I know I will never love anybody the way I love you. You will never regret loving me.
Before you sleep, let me tell you that yes, you are someone I can flaunt. So never think I’ll be ashamed of this relationship.
Sia felt as if she was dreaming. No one had ever felt proud to be in her company, but now there was this guy who was boasting about being with her. She was very happy but, at the same time, she was concerned about her best friend, Apurv. She had a sudden urge to tell him that she was dating Ritvik but was scared of what he might say. That summed up the change in their relationship. Nevertheless, she picked up the phone and dialled his number. As expected, it was busy. After trying for more than half an hour, she sent him a message.
She Friend-Zoned My Love Page 8
