‘Here’s your coffee.’ Apurv gave her a wide smile, pulling her cheeks to make her feel better.
‘Thanks.’ She faked a smile.
‘Are you lost somewhere, or are there some issues at home? Why are you not able to concentrate? I mean, you knew the lines and had rehearsed them so many times. How could you not remember? How could you forget simple dialogues or your chemistry test for that matter?’ Apurv held her hand and tried to comfort her.
‘I just feel like being alone. Leaving everything behind. This is not the place I should be. That’s what I am told.’ Amyra avoided Apurv’s eyes.
‘What are you talking about?’
‘I don’t feel like being with anyone. Can you take me somewhere? I just want to get away from this noise. I just want peace.’ Amyra pulled her hand away and took a sip of the coffee.
‘Should I take you home? There’s no one there. We could watch a movie and chill out,’ Apurv suggested.
‘Your house? Do you stay nearby?’
Amyra looked confused. This shocked Apurv as she had been to his house before. It was where they had had sex. Is she pretending or is there something seriously wrong with her? Forgetting classes and tests was fine, forgetting dialogues too is okay, but how could she forget the place where we were intimate for the first time? I have heard that you always remember your first time. Then what is fucking wrong with her? These thoughts ran through Apurv’s mind as he stared at her. Maybe she was playing with him.
‘What kind of a question is that? You have been there. You weren’t so drunk.’ Apurv winked and got up to leave.
‘Me? No, I have never been to your place. I don’t remember going there.’ Amyra looked at him with an innocent face.
‘Okay, stop kidding.’
‘I’m not. Why would I come to your house?’
Apurv ignored her, passing it off as a silly prank, and left the canteen, pulling her by her hand. While driving home, he couldn’t help but worry about her behaviour. He kept stealing glances at her, thinking about what she was going through. Was she emotionally exhausted or completely drained out?
Apurv initially thought she was joking, but when she insisted that she couldn’t remember ever coming to his house, it scared him. She had done this far too many times for it to be a prank. The only option he had was to ignore it because there was nothing he could do. The thought of calling or meeting her parents came to his mind, but he knew that Amyra wouldn’t like it. He remembered the time when she had forgotten her sister’s birthday. In the weeks since she had started behaving absurdly, Apurv had always been there for her. But it upset him. She was the sort of mystery that took a lifetime to solve.
Apurv parked his Vespa and went upstairs, this time much more confident when he passed the watchman. In the elevator, he sighed. ‘Thank God, this time that rascal didn’t look at us. Remember how he looked at us the last time?’
‘You have a good sense of humour. I have never been to this place.’
‘Oh! Not again. Stop it.’ Apurv opened the elevator door and Amyra looked around as if trying to recollect if she had been there before. Apurv opened the front door to his house. Everything seemed new to Amyra, but she didn’t tell him. Apurv got her a glass of water and made her sit on the couch in the living room. After discussing the play for some time, he shifted the topic to her schooldays, thinking that it would bring her comfort.
‘You mentioned being close to someone called Pihu. Is she as hot as you? I might as well try flirting with her.’
‘I am not in touch with her. After I changed schools, we stopped interacting. It was entirely my fault. I played a prank without realizing how much it could hurt her. I wish I could meet her at least once and apologize.’
‘It’s okay. Life is about moving on.’ Apurv was sitting close to her and eating chips.
‘Why are you asking me this? Didn’t you know her? In fact, you were her good friend.’ Amyra’s face was blank.
‘I wish!’ Apurv winked.
He was a little surprised. How would I know her school friend? I only met her in college. What is she up to? I am losing it now. Even pranks have certain limits. If I didn’t love her, I would scream at her. Gradually his patience wore thin, but he didn’t show it. He pretended to be calm.
Sitting so close to Apurv, Amyra couldn’t help notice just how muscular his shoulders were and how lush his lips looked. She let her gaze slide over the rest of his body. She had seen him a thousand times, but he seemed so different that day. When she looked into his eyes once again, his expression was intense. For a moment, Amyra thought that maybe he was angry, but before she could think about it further, he covered her mouth in a hungry kiss. She responded immediately, surprising herself. Suddenly, Apurv pushed her away as if he had been burnt.
‘I’m sorry, Amyra,’ he said in a strangled voice. ‘That wasn’t right.’
‘It’s okay,’ Amyra said, looking at the floor. She was afraid of seeming too eager or disappointed. In fact, she wasn’t quite sure how to react to that kiss. Amyra couldn’t help but wonder if Apurv’s heart was beating as fast as hers or if he was feeling the same desire as she was. However, a few minutes later both of them gave in to the temptation. Every inch of their bodies was soaked in love. Amyra was lost totally in the heat of the moment. Her touch made him go weak. Amyra blushed and felt prickles of pleasure move up her arms as he grew hard in her hand. She squeezed instinctively, feeling the muscle throb and flex, forcing her to tighten her grip. Finally, he pushed her down on to the bed and climbed on top of her. He kicked off his shoes, quickly got out of his jeans and dragged a blanket over them.
‘Open your eyes,’ he whispered as he slid into her. She felt very tight.
There was a pause. Every sensation was new and fiercely familiar at the same time, shocking Amyra with recognition and surprise.
‘I’m scared to move,’ he said, laughing.
‘Why, will you lose it?’
He nodded. ‘Well, this is fucking great, isn’t it?’
‘Yes, it is, Ishaan.’
Apurv was surprised to hear Ishaan’s name, but her eyes were closed and Apurv didn’t want to stop. Though it should have alerted him that something was awfully wrong, he went with the flow. Desire slammed through her, leaving her shaking for more. He gently kissed the tears from her cheeks and held her gaze as he slid inside her again.
‘Ah, God!’ He quivered, prolonging the moment. Then he began to move again, undone by her fire, torn to shreds by the passion she ripped from him. Her wet heat engulfed him, burnt him and caressed him to the point of insanity. Soon he was thrusting madly, lost inside her, completely unaware of his surroundings. She screamed, her nails digging into his back as she arched one last time before collapsing under him, shuddering convulsively.
‘I’m yours! I’m . . .’ A groan tore from deep inside her chest as his release surged through him, flinging him briefly into a place full of light and sound before leaving him gasping as he gathered her close, trembling and shaken.
Apurv lay beside her and for a few seconds, they stared at the ceiling, their breath still heavy.
‘Ishaan, I so wanted to do this with you! You are amazing, Ishaan.’ Amyra breathed out a luxurious sigh.
That was it! Apurv was irritated with Amyra for repeatedly addressing him as Ishaan. Anyone’s ego would be hurt in such a situation and Apurv was no god. He looked at her in anger.
‘Who the fuck is Ishaan? I am Apurv. Have you lost it? Enough is enough. Just get out of here. Right away. I don’t care about anything. I just want you out of this house. Go fuck Ishaan or do whatever you feel. Just get out of my house, my life. I can’t handle this any more.’
What the fuck! Was she hallucinating or fantasizing? Was she pretending or losing her memory? Did she think I was Ishaan when she said I was friends with Pihu?
Was this an alarming sign of something horrendous coming their way?
It was another day filled with malice and hate for himself for the thi
ngs he couldn’t change easily. Apurv stayed home that day, contemplating whether he should end it all or carry on in a show of strength.
However, all his thoughts disappeared into thin air the moment Amyra called, asking him to pick her up. It was 11 p.m., but without paying heed to the time and forgetting his rage, he set out on his Vespa to the location she had mentioned.
‘Where are you? I have just arrived,’ he asked her on the phone. Parking his Vespa on the side stand, he scanned the area.
‘I am not exactly sure, but I think I am at the Andheri bus depot.’
Her response confused Apurv because he was at that very location.
‘My phone battery is about to die. Let me find a landmark; this lane looks like the McDonald’s one near the bus depot.’
‘Is this another fucking prank? I’ve been driving up and down this lane but you are nowhere to be seen. Where are you? Chuck all this; send me your location on WhatsApp.’
‘No, let me check.’
Shortly after that, before Apurv could receive her location on WhatsApp, her phone died. After the bizarre phone call, he drove around the area asking people if they had seen her. He even tried calling her a couple of times hoping she had a spare battery. Till 1 a.m., he waited, hoped, searching for her at possible locations. He feared the worst. Just thinking about something bad happening to her gave him goosebumps. It was odd as he had been right at the spot she had mentioned and had spoken to her moments before, yet she was gone as if she had ceased to exist. Where did she disappear all of a sudden? Did some tragedy strike? Was she safe in the darkness of the city?
And Then She Said It
Amyra was a question with no answer, a song paused midway. Not knowing is what haunts you. It had been forty-eight hours and Amyra’s phone was still switched off. She didn’t come to college the day after the incident, not even for the rehearsals. Apurv didn’t reveal anything to anyone as he was not sure about what had happened. Sia and Ritvik felt she was just on leave but the truth was different. Hours turned into days but there was no means of getting in touch with Amyra.
None of their classmates knew where she was, and with each passing day Sia could see the restlessness in Apurv’s eyes. Apurv decided to go to Amyra’s house a week later, to the place where he had once dropped her off on her sister’s birthday. On the way to her house, he kept thinking about what could have gone wrong. He remembered Sia telling him that Amyra had left her old school suddenly and shifted to another one. Was she a con girl? But what would she get out of it? First school and now college.
Once he reached, he checked the message he had sent her the previous night but it was still undelivered. He read it again before walking towards her apartment.
I want you to know that I loved you. I even loved you when you decided that you didn’t love me. I cannot express these emotions in words the same way I cannot describe the way it felt to have you rip it all to pieces. I prayed every five minutes that you would call me and tell me you had made a mistake. Even today, I pray every night and hope to see your name appear on my phone. There’s nothing I miss more than you. I’ve destroyed some of my friendships because you were more important to me. You have shattered my heart, but you have not shattered my love. Love is not something that can be cast aside and broken. I know you feel it too, deep inside, and my love allows me to genuinely hope that you will realize it one day.
Tears rolled down his cheeks on reading the message as only he understood the pain of losing her. He walked inside her apartment building with shaky steps. As he stood in front of her door, he realized that the surname written on it was not hers. He guessed that it might be a rented apartment, but when he rang the bell and asked for Amyra the man’s answer made his blood run cold. He couldn’t believe what he had heard and stood there frozen in shock.
‘There’s no one called Amyra here.’
Fuck! How’s this even possible? I clearly remember dropping her off at this location. She had entered this very building. Is he fucking lying to me?
‘Are you sure? I know she stays here.’
‘No, beta, no such girl ever stayed here.’
‘Is there anyone in this building by this name? Please tell me if you have any idea.’
The man looked at him for a few seconds before speaking sternly. ‘Don’t try to act smart. I know you college boys use this trick to find girls’ addresses. If you are eyeing my daughter, I will call the police right now. Don’t you dare knock on my door again.’
He slammed the door shut on Apurv’s face. Apurv was dejected but he didn’t give up. He thought the man might be faking it. No one would call for their daughter in front of an unknown guy. He approached the watchman of the building who was reading a newspaper.
‘Who are you? How did you enter without writing your name in the register?’
‘Uncle, you were lost in reading some interesting news, so I didn’t disturb you.’ Apurv mocked him before asking, ‘Have you seen this girl here before? I had dropped her here once.’
The watchman looked at the photograph keenly and answered after spitting. ‘No, never. What has happened?’
‘Please try to remember. She stays here. I dropped her here one night.’
‘No. She doesn’t stay here or else I would have known. My duty is to take care of this building. How will I not know the residents? Also, if you dropped her here at night, I’m not too sure because my shift is usually during the day.’
‘Should I ask the night watchman?’ Apurv’s disappointment was visible.
‘It’s no use. He is new here. It’s hardly been a week since he joined. But, Bhaiya, you just dropped her here. Who knows, she might have been visiting someone. There are a few guys here who stay together and work for some computer company. Such scenes are common at their place. There are so many girls who visit them that it’s difficult to keep track.’
Apurv walked away but the conversation with the watchman had disturbed him. Did she really come here to meet someone? Her boyfriend? Apurv even asked all the shopkeepers around about her, but it was of no use. He asked the creeps who he expected would have all the information about the girls in the neighbourhood, but even they had not seen her. Apurv finally had to accept that Amyra had lied to him about where she stayed. He had never asked her to take him to her house. She was the one to visit his house both times. Was that a conscious decision? Apurv was losing all respect for her. He really wanted to believe her but this time she had left him with nothing. Her existence was nothing but a hollow lie. Even after knowing each other, he felt as if they were no better than strangers.
It’s painful to know that you are the only one who’s in love while the other person hardly cares. Apurv could barely sleep these days; all he did was pen down his thoughts.
I got up in the middle of the night. All I could hear was a loud cry coming from someone who was hurt, the cry was familiar to me. I searched for that someone who was crying so loudly. I looked around the room even though it was dark. I tried to calm myself but the voices were so loud that I could really feel the pain. There was no one, until I stood in front of the mirror. I could see my reflection, those tears and the pain.
He needed someone with whom he could share everything. He ultimately decided to tell Sia what had happened. But his fingers went numb when he tried calling her. It had been ages since they had spoken. Things were not like before. He finally settled on a text.
I am sorry. We cross each other every day, but let’s talk tomorrow. Let’s not get into the ‘We just stopped talking’ zone which is the reason so many friendships end.
Sia’s response surprised Apurv.
What took you so long to message? Love you.
Apurv broke down as soon as he read the message. She still cared for him. He had misjudged her. They were two different people with different attitudes, but the one thing that held them together was their friendship. Apurv immediately dialled her number.
His heartbeat was louder than the phone ringing. He paced arou
nd his room nervously because he was talking to her after such a long time. Her ‘hello’ gave him goosebumps, but at the same time he felt a soothing calm. He sobbed like a child, loud enough for Sia to hear. They had finally overcome their egos to talk to each other. Sia found it hard to control her tears but to avoid an emotional breakdown, she stopped herself. For the next couple of minutes, no one spoke. But every emotion was expressed—happiness, pain and love. And if someone still believed that friendships weren’t special, that person was a fool.
Sia finally broke the silence. ‘Just because we don’t talk any more doesn’t mean that I have forgotten about you. It doesn’t mean that I no longer care. The truth is that I still do. I did my best to check up on you, to see how you were doing. But every time I felt the urge to talk to you, I remembered that we were strangers and that you didn’t want me in your life.’
‘No, you didn’t want me in your life, that’s why you never tried to contact me. I even sent you a poem through Ritvik. I used to ask him about you every day.’
‘You couldn’t ask me directly?’
‘I felt guilty. But I want you to know that I’m still here. I’ll still give you my shoulder to lean on no matter what time it is or what I’m doing. I’ll not hesitate because, most of the time, I wish that you were still talking to me. I missed your presence, you being my best friend, I just missed you.’
And they were friends again with just one message. Sometimes we are too hesitant to solve our problems in a simple way.
The following day, while Sia waited with Ritvik for Apurv in the canteen, she had mixed feelings. She was nervous about talking to Apurv in person after such a long time but excited to be reunited with her best friend. A volcano of emotions erupted when he finally entered the canteen. The only thing that was missing was the slow-motion effect like in a movie. All they wanted was a friendship like the one they had. Not a day went by without the two of them wondering why they fell out. Why had their friendship cracked? But one hug was enough to melt their hearts. Isn’t it weird how you can go from being everything to nothing because of one misunderstanding? Ritvik was the only one who had tried, but failed, to bring them together. However, friends do find a way to get back if they really want to.
She Friend-Zoned My Love Page 11
