Mail Order Doctor

by Cynthia Woolf

  “Yes, I need to see Mr. Ben King.”

  “I’m sorry ma’am, but Mr. King doesn’t like to be disturbed—”

  “Julia.” Ben walked up to her as he was passing the desk.

  “Ben. I need a place where we can stay.” She felt her cheeks heat with her embarrassment. “I don’t have the money to pay for the room, but you can bill Matthew or better yet, bill Walt. This whole situation his fault.”

  “You don’t need money here. Whatever you need, I’ll see that you have it.”

  “Robert,” he said to the clerk. “Put Mrs. Reynolds in the suite next to mine.”

  “Yes, sir, Mr. King.” The young man got the key and handed it to Julia.

  “The suite next to me is the nicest available right now and perfect for you and Hope. Come on.” Ben picked up her valise. “It’s on the first floor in the back so it’s quiet.”

  “That’s all Hope’s things.” Julia pointed at the valise. “I still have to return for mine.”

  “I can send someone, if you’d rather not go back yourself.”

  Relief flowed through her and she relaxed. “Thank you. That would be greatly appreciated.”

  Ben led Julia around to the suite that would be her new home.

  The suite had two rooms, a bedroom and a parlor. In the parlor were a settee, a small desk, and a dining table with two chairs. The bedroom had the bed, two nightstands, a six-drawer bureau with mirror and a tall-boy dresser.

  “This is lovely, Ben. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. I’ll see you have access to the kitchen at all hours so you can take care of Hope and I trust you’ll call me if you need any assistance.”

  “I will. Thank you, Ben. Now I need to make a crib for Hope.”

  “Crib?”

  “Yes, she’s still so little, she fits in a drawer. I put a pillow in the bottom and then lay her on top. I just put the whole drawer beside me on the bed and don’t have to worry about rolling over on her. Here,” she handed Hope to Ben. “Hold her while I get her bed made.”

  Ben held the baby easily. He talked to her and tickled her under the chin.

  “You are very good with her. Most single men wouldn’t have the first clue how to hold a baby.” She pulled the top drawer out of the bureau and put one of the pillows in it, before setting the makeshift crib in the middle of the bed. “I’ll take her now.”

  Ben smiled. “I’ve got seven younger brothers and sisters. I’ve been holding babies since I was five.”

  “Goodness,” Julia put her hand to her throat. “That’s a big family. I can’t imagine having that many siblings.”

  “How many did you have?”

  “Just my sister. And after she died,” she shrugged, “just me.”

  His eyebrows dipped into a frown. “I’m sorry. I can’t imagine losing any of my siblings. That experience must have been difficult.”

  “It was. She was my twin and we did everything together.”

  “Well, anything you want, you just let me know.”

  “I will.”

  Ben handed Hope to Julia, and she laid the baby in the drawer.

  “She’ll be asleep shortly.” Julia put her hand on Ben’s arm. “Let’s go out to the other room.”

  Julia sat on the settee.

  Ben sat down with her and took her hand in his.

  “I was attracted to you when we got on the stagecoach together and since then my feelings for you have only grown. You know how much I care for you, don’t you?”

  She cocked her head and looked down at their hands. “I know and for that reason I want to be forthright about this. I know you think you’re in love with me, but you’re not. You deserve to have love, Ben.” The lump in her throat burned. “A great love. I’m not that person.”

  “Don’t you think you could love me?”

  “It’s not that I couldn’t, you’re a very easy man to love. But I—”

  “You love, Matthew.” He squeezed her hand. “It’s all right. He’s my friend and even though he’s being an ass, excuse my vulgarity, he’ll come around. The funny thing is I do believe he’s in love with you. I’ve never seen him so taken with anyone before. Not even Amelia.”

  “Who is Amelia?”

  “She was his fiancée. They were to be married, but she left him at the altar. The note she left said she didn’t want to be a country doctor’s wife after all and she was going to Denver. We haven’t heard anything from or about her since.”

  Julia pulled her hand from Ben’s and touched her throat with her fingers. “Oh my, God. No wonder he’s so upset about all of this. He had no choice then and he’s not been given one now. He must feel like his life is out of his hands. If it were true, that he loved me, I could manage anything.”

  “Trust me. He just needs to find his way and he will, you’ll see.”

  “Well, I’ll either see that or annulment papers. Either way, I’m staying. Tombstone is my home now. Hope is here and when her father comes back for her I hope he’ll still let me be a part of her life.”

  “Do you think he will? Come back I mean. He was so angry at both of us that night and you haven’t heard anything from him since.”

  “I think he will. He just has to work through his grief before he can come to terms with having a daughter.”

  “It’s been a week. How long do you think it will take?”

  Julia shook her head. “I don’t know, I’ve never lost a spouse. I can only imagine what he must be going through.”

  “Well, I’ll get your clothes myself and maybe I can talk some sense into him.”

  Julia shook her head. “I’m not sure he has any sense. He’s the most irritating man I’ve ever met.”

  Ben smiled. “So that’s how I’ll know I’m in love? I need to find the most irritating woman and marry her.” Shaking his head he laughed. “I don’t think so.”

  “You wait. It’ll happen to you.”

  Ben put his hands on Julia’s shoulders. “I’ll be back shortly.”

  “Thank you.”

  Hope’s cries split the air.

  For being such a little thing, she had a big voice.

  Julia stood on tip toe and gave Ben a kiss on his cheek, and then walked to the bedroom to care for the baby.

  CHAPTER 10

  Thirty minutes later, Ben returned with Julia’s clothing, a black eye, and a grin. “Matthew wasn’t too happy with me.”

  Julia winced. “So I see. Oh, Ben, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have come here. I should go to another hotel, I don’t want to come between you and Matthew.”

  “Don’t be silly. Maybe being here will make Matthew come to his senses sooner if he thinks there is something between you and me.”

  “I’ve told him there isn’t. You’re just my friend.”

  “I told him the same thing.” He pointed at his eye. “He didn’t believe me.”

  “Go put a steak on that.”

  “I will. I wanted to bring you your things. He just threw everything in the valise, so if you need anything ironed, let me know. I have a woman I send my shirts to. She’ll be glad for the extra money.”

  “I’m sure they’re fine.” I can dress more casually as a care giver to Hope than I did in the doctor’s office.

  “I’ll leave you then. You don’t have to worry about going to Matthew’s office, do you?”

  “No. As long as I’m the only one taking care of Hope, I won’t work with Matthew.”

  “Just another reason for him to miss you. He told me how organized you made him. He could actually have some time to himself. He’ll be back to his old ways in no time.”

  “I think I’ll take your advice and try to nap. Hope will be waking again soon.”

  “Have a good nap then. Will I see you for supper?”

  “That would be lovely. Do you think we could have it here?” She waved her art toward the dining table. “I wouldn’t have to disturb Hope that way.”

  “Of course. I’ll have a couple of steak dinners se
nt in.”

  “Wonderful.”

  He walked to the door, turned and kissed her cheek. “Get some rest.”

  She nodded and closed the door behind him.

  Why did I have to fall in love with Matthew? My life would be ever so much easier if I could love Ben, but he and I are friends and that’s all we’ll ever be.

  * * *

  An hour later, there was a knock on Julia’s door. She opened it wide.

  “That was quick. I hadn’t expected supper so fast.”

  “Sorry to disappoint you.” Matthew stood in front of her, his hands balled up at his sides.

  “Matthew.” Julia pressed her hand to her chest. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

  “So I gathered.” He looked over her shoulder into the room beyond. “Aren’t you asking me in?”

  She stepped back and waved her hand in front of her. “Please, come in.”

  His gut churned. “Awfully nice room you’ve got here.” He didn’t know what he expected but it wasn’t this.

  “It is, isn’t it?” She gazed around her new home. “I’ve told Ben to bill you for it, but he refused, said I don’t have to worry about money as long as I’m here. He’s providing for Hope as well.”

  “I pay your bills, one way or another,” he grumbled.

  “No need.” She pointed at the blue brocade settee. “Have a seat.”

  He walked behind her and sat on the sofa after she did. “How are we to talk about this if you live here?”

  “The same way we did at home, which brought us to no decision.”

  “You admit it.” He jumped on her choice of words. “Our house is home.”

  “Well, it was.” She waved her arm taking in the entire room. “Hope and I have a lovely home here.”

  “You can’t live in a hotel.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I beg to differ. As you can see, I am, and very well I might add. Ben is providing everything we need so I can concentrate on tending Hope.”

  “Julia please come back home.” He ran his hand along the back of his neck. “We can talk there.”

  “Your house is not my home. You made that clear by having me sleep in the spare room. There is no more talking that needs to be done.” She rested her clasped hands in her lap. “Matthew, you have a decision to make. Are we married or not? I heard about Amelia, but I’m not her. I won’t leave. Whether we validate our marriage or you get an annulment, I intend to stay in Tombstone. But, I’m not moving back to your home unless and until, we are truly married, meaning you agree and we consummate the vows I made. If it would make you feel better we can get married again by the judge or a reverend here.”

  “It’s not a matter of me feeling better, it’s a matter of me feeling like I have no choice.”

  “Of course, you have a choice. I just told you the choice is yours. I already made my decision, my choice and I chose you. Now you have to decide if you are choosing me. If not, then file for the darn annulment.”

  “Darn?” He grinned. “You are getting angry. Did Ben tell you that Walt is here? He never went to Denver. He disguised himself and stayed here to see how our marriage played out.”

  “The old bastard.” She lifted her fingers to her mouth. “Excuse my language. I’d like to give him a piece of my mind.”

  “That can be arranged. Would you and Hope to accompany me to Walt’s for Sunday dinner. You’ll get to meet my brothers as well.”

  Julia’s heart leapt. This was a step forward, meeting the family. “I’d like that very much. What time will you pick us up?”

  He took her hand in his. “I’ll pick you up at eleven. We usually eat dinner about one in the afternoon. We’ll have time to visit by going a bit early.”

  “Are you sure you want to introduce me to your family? That’s sort of a big step in the ‘stay married’ direction.”

  He grinned. “I know, but I want them to see what Walt has done for me. You’re a beautiful woman, kind, generous and smart to boot. I’m very lucky. I know this, that doesn’t change the facts.” He held up his hand and shook his head once. “I know that is not the case now, that the choice and the decision are mine. You’ve made that very clear.”

  “Yes, and come to think about it, I think that you should court me. Maybe if we get to know each other a little better, you find your decision easier.”

  He laughed. “I think we’re well beyond the courting stage. After all, we have a child.”

  “We only have her temporarily. I believe her father will come back for her. I don’t think he would abandon her permanently.”

  Hope took that moment to make herself known.

  “She probably needs changing. Do you want to come see her?”

  “Of course. I know it’s only been a few hours but it seems like forever, I’ve gotten very attached to her. I miss her almost as much as I miss you.”

  He said the words nonchalantly, as though he didn’t realize what he was saying.

  Julia’s heart sang at his words, and yet she couldn’t show that they made any impression on her lest he take them back.

  They walked into the bedroom and found Hope squirming and crying in her makeshift crib.

  “Oh, sweet girl, don’t cry. Mama is here.”

  “Mama?”

  “Yes. For all intents and purposes I’m her mother and I hope to stay her mother, even if her father returns.”

  “And how, pray tell, do you propose to do that?”

  “I don’t know. Perhaps I could care for her during the day and he’ll take care of her at night.”

  “He’ll still be too tired to work, without help during the night.”

  “I know. But I’m trying to work out the situation, so I can present it to him when he comes back.” She picked up Hope and put her on the oil cloth she’d acquired to protect the bed from the wet diaper. She also had gotten some for Hope’s crib. The baby stopped crying as soon as Julia picked her up. The poor little thing was soaked. Julia stripped her quickly, cleaned her and put on a dry diaper. Then she picked up the baby and cuddled her.

  “So you think he will come back?”

  “Oh, yes. I’m sure he’ll be back. She’s all he’s got left of his wife Norma and I think when the dust settles he’ll realize that.”

  “A month has passed. How long will he take to realize that he wants Hope?”

  “That’s the thing we must talk to him about and make sure he wants Hope for who she is. I don’t want him resenting her all her life. I know what that is like. After my sister died, my parents never forgave me for not saving her. I think they resented me for living when she didn’t. Hope needs love not resentment.” She swayed back and forth with the baby in her arms. “Nothing that happened that night was her fault and he must understand that before I’ll give Hope back to him.”

  Matthew cocked his head. “Those are nice sentiments but how do you intend to keep her from him if he wants her?”

  “I’ll remind him he abandoned her and ask him if things have changed. Can he care for her? How will he care for her?”

  Matt pushed away from the door frame he’d been leaning against. “What if he answers those questions to your satisfaction?”

  She took a deep breath, “Then I won’t have any choice. I’ll relinquish Hope. I will ask if we can visit her.”

  “Well, it sounds like you have the situation all worked out. I just hope your Mr. Carstairs is a reasonable man.”

  Julia thought back to the night of Hope’s birth. Blaine Carstairs had been anything but reasonable, leaving his daughter in the care of strangers. But he’d been so distraught when his wife died, Julia didn’t think he really knew what he was doing. Surely once he calmed down he would want Hope back. Wouldn’t he?

  “I don’t know if he is or not. I thought he would have come by now for her but he hasn’t.”

  “Give him time. Losing someone you love is not easy.”

  She nodded. “I know. I’m trying to be patient. I just want Hope to have the best of everything,
including her father.”

  “She will. We’ll see to it.”

  We’ll. He said we’ll. That was the word she wanted to hear.

  * * *

  Sunday came quickly. Julia and Matthew hadn’t made much headway in the discussion of their marriage, but she thought it was progressing in the right direction. At least he wasn’t bringing up an annulment every time they talked.

  There was a knock on the door.

  “Matthew,” she said when she opened it. “Come in. We’re almost ready. If you’ll take the valise, I’ll get Hope.”

  He picked up the suitcase, arched an eyebrow and hefted it a couple of times. “What in the heck do you have in this thing?”

  “Practically everything Hope owns. I don’t want her to be uncomfortable at all today or to pee on your brothers either.”

  “I’ll be surprised if my brothers even attempt to hold her. They aren’t used to babies.”

  They walked out of the hotel to the buggy Matthew had waiting out front. He put the valise in the back and held Hope while Julia climbed in. Then he handed her the baby went around to his side and climbed aboard. He gave the reins a quick snap and the horses began to move.

  “Neither were you,” she reminded him. “Except for the moment they are born. All of this time with Hope has been a learning experience. One I’m very grateful for.”

  “I am, too. Giving her back will be very difficult. I almost wish her father never shows up.”

  “I know what you mean, but I still hope he does. I think she needs to know who her father is.” She was trying to be optimistic for Hope’s sake, but that attitude was getting more and more difficult by the minute.

  “What she needs is a father who cares for her. I can be that father. I’ve decided to request from Judge Blackstone that we be named Hope’s legal guardians. That will give us some rights even if her father does reappear.”

  “Will he give us that even if we are not living as man and wife? Or is this another nail in the coffin as far as you are concerned?”

  “I don’t know.”

  He didn’t look happy.

  “If I apply for the annulment I can’t expect him to grant the custody. But if I don’t apply for the custody, I would worry her father could come back at any time, even years from now and take her back. I can’t let that happen.”