The Persistence of Memories - A Novel of the Mendaihu Universe

by Jon Chaisson

  He was looking for Eden.

  Then it hit her:

  Trisanda. Eden is Trisanda!

  “Goddess...” she whispered, shuddering. A flood of memories and thoughts and emotions came rushing forth, nearly drowning her. These were not her own, but those of Gharra itself: this planet, this living planet understood, the way the previous Dearest knew but not her, that it wasn't just a life-bearing planet the Trisandi were looking for all these years...it was spiritual compatibility! Gharra was sentient, a heavenly body floating in space, carrying an untold number of spirits with the same strengths, the same emotions, the same intelligence as Trisanda.

  Poe, all his life, had been looking for this Eden, and he knew it was here on Gharra. Yet he wouldn't let himself believe that, even when Crittiqila Nayélha had brought him up to Trisanda—

  How do I know that?

  And now he was here, back on Gharra/Earth, knowing the answers buts still unready to believe them. He'd found what he was looking for, and he was afraid of what would come next. He had no other choice but to move forward now.

  “Damn it,” she whispered to herself.

  Akaina, she called out softly.

  Kai answered a few seconds later, startled by Denni's voice. Y—yes, Dearest One?

  I need you to find Alec and bring him back.

  She felt the shock of Kai's joy. It quickly faded, however, when Denni's concern made itself known. I can probably get him to you within a few hours, she responded.

  No rush, Denni said quickly. He has to come back on his own. I just need you to give him a little push.

  She felt Kai’s spirit calm itself. Your will, Dearest One. I leave in a few moments. Anything else, then?

  Just make sure he knows how important it is for him to be here, Akaina. Thank you.

  I understand, she said. He will return. Denni felt her spiritual presence fade then disappear, and once again she was left alone. She stretched out on her futon that she'd pushed into the corner, leaned up against her own pile of pillows, and closed her eyes. Exhaustion was finally claiming her senses. Whether Poe returned or not, she needed to sleep. She would be awake when he came back.

  “Come home, Alec,” she said to herself, closing her eyes. “We need you, now more than ever.”

  CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

  Fate

  A BMPD cruiser peeled out of the parking lot with its tires squealing, lights flashing and sirens wailing, and bolted down Baird Avenue towards Krieger Avenue. Poe hadn't seen the driver or the car number, but he knew that Agent Michael Gerrard from Security was behind the wheel, making a mad dash to South City as backup under Farraway’s request. Gerrard was not thrilled to be heading that way; in fact, he’d wanted to punch out early, pack up the car and head out somewhere in the Wilderlands, maybe up to Roanoke Outpost where his brother Doug lived...just to get the hell away from Bridgetown before tomorrow.

  How the hells did he know this?

  Overload. His eyes hurt. His ears hurt. His mind hurt. Everything hurt. What the hell was happening to him? He was drawing in the spirit energy of everyone and every thing around him, had been doing so ever since he’d returned, and realized too late that he could not stop it. It felt like that time up at the Crest, sensing the entire city for the first time with Kai, only this was a thousand times magnified. He didn't even know who Gerrard was, for Goddess' sake...the man was a rookie who started two days ago!

  Poe was kiralla, that’s what was happening.

  But how was he kiralla? By birthright? By reincarnation? By awakening? Why had he recognized Trisanda and the Goddess’ Hall at Bann Dassah so easily? The avalanche of questions only made his head pound more fiercely. It was a miracle he’d made it across town. He’d managed to take the subway to his destination without passing out. The only thing keeping him from collapse was his stubborn will.

  He stood outside the ARU Branden Hill headquarters, gazing up at the oval-shaped building, sensing everyone within. He felt Christine Gorecki, sitting on top of Nick Slater's desk, talking quietly. He felt Sheila's discomfort as she felt his presence from a few hundred yards away. He felt Farraway inside, and he felt the man sensing him, waiting for him to enter his office so they could have their inevitable tête-à-tête. He felt the presence of a few dozen Mendaihu and Shenaihu, some within headquarters and others in surrounding buildings, all sensing him and wondering who he was, why he was there, and what his next step might be.

  Whatever step he took next would change everything.

  His comm went off and it sounded like teeth-rattling feedback. He clenched his fists, wishing for it to stop, but even his fingers protested. He spread out his fingers again as the second ring hit him, muted now but no less painful. His hearing was so acute that he could hear the machinations inside the comm, the microchip deciding that it would switch to his answering service after the next ring.

  A tear escaped his left eye.

  “Damn it,” he whispered, and answered the call. “Poe here,” he rattled. Goddess, he thought. I even sound like shit.

  “Alec!” the female voice at the other end gushed, howling into his ear. “Oh, thank the Goddess you answered.”

  “Uh...” he managed.

  “Alec, it's me, Kai!” she said. “Are you all right?”

  He cleared his throat. “I'm…not sure.”

  “Stay where you are,” she said. “Goddess, I can sense you from here. Hold on, okay? I'll be there in a few seconds.”

  She disconnected before he could get out another word.

  “Goddess...” he mumbled. What the hell is happening to me?

  fffssssSSSSSHHHHT—

  He felt the air displacement behind him a fraction of a second before he heard it.

  “Alec?”

  Akaina, he whispered within, relieved. The pain in his head began to fade, replaced with a cold sweat. Blood back to the brain. The rumbling of energy faded and dissipated. Sounds receded into the background and he was standing now in the quiet of a nearly empty street corner. He didn’t question it. There were a lot of things he didn't want to question right now. Her presence had calmed him, spiritually and physically. He turned around, clearing his scratchy throat.

  “Alec?”

  “Taftika, Akaina. I’m sorry, I…”

  Her first response had been of relief, then of love. He could feel the joy emanating from her heart, aimed directly at him. She wanted to run to him and take him in her arms and never let go, and he desperately wanted, needed the same. He stopped as soon as she did when that joy bottomed out, replaced by complete shock.

  “What —” she began, scanning his body. “You...?”

  “Kai,” he said as softly as he could. “I'm fine now. Nothing's wrong. I know who and what I am now. Everything's all right.” He stuttered to a halt again, catching the whites of her eyes. She was terrified. What had Crittiqila done to him? What had she taken away from him to make him so hideous?

  With a sickening chill, it dawned on him that the secret of his cold spirit had finally been revealed, showing its true form.

  Here lies fate, my friend, he thought. Here lies fate.

  “You're...” she whispered. Slowly, painfully, she lifted her eyes to meet his. “You're an Elder.”

  “Yes,” he said as quietly and evenly as possible, trying to calm her. “I'm kiralla, Kai. Please, don’t fear me. Just…talk to me. Tell me what your spirit is saying.”

  “I...” she started, visibly shaking. “Goddess...” she began sobbing. “I knew it was going to be an Elder, but I never knew...”

  “Knew what?”

  She shivered again. She was fighting her own instincts to embrace him. She desperately needed to take hold of him, to bring him back to his apartment, to forget about the world, forget all of this...but reality had chosen otherwise. She had lost a part of him somehow, an innocence that she wasn't ready to let go of just yet. He was no longer the scruffy, ARU investigator with a lot of social quirks. He had access to all the knowledge he could ever w
ant now, just by closing his eyes and reaching directly into his sehna lumia without stepping into Light. Something Kai still could not do.

  “Akaina,” he said. “I haven’t changed at all. I still love you. I'm still the same person you've always known. Everything I do is my own choice, Kai. You haven’t lost me.”

  “No...” she said, taking a step back. “You're...you're kiralla, Alec.” She dropped her head and cursed. “Damn it! I should have seen this a long time ago! Damn it all!”

  He took a step towards her, but did not reach out. “Talk to me, Kai. Explain it to me.”

  Her eyes were filling with tears. “I should have seen it, Alec! I'm so damn stupid not to see it!”

  “You're not stupid,” he said. “If anyone here is...”

  “No,” she sobbed. “I should have seen it, Alec. Your spirit signature is the way it is because you’re kiralla, and I should have sensed that weeks ago! I haven't sensed a kiralla in so long I'd forgotten what it felt like. And now...” She covered her eyes with her hand and held herself as close as possible, sobbing and turning away.

  “Akaina,” he said softly. “Listen to me. You don't have to tell me right now. I have to go in and face Farraway. He's known all along that I'm kiralla, that Caren was Protector, and Denni was the One of All Sacred....he brought you and Ashan in to keep an eye on us, to make sure we stayed true to our fates. I don't fault you for that, I really don't. It’s been an honor to work with you, and a pleasure to know you, Akaina. Sa’im, sa’im shadha, Akaina. I say this with my heart and my spirit. You were my anchor throughout all of this, and I'm grateful for it. You are my shadhisi, and you always shall be. Please...talk to me.”

  Gradually, her sobs gave way to slow, shaky breaths. He felt a barrier break down and disappear, and all at once he felt it again: her spirit was calling for his. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her gently. She slowly leaned back and into his embrace. She let out a breath, two of them, and twisted within his arms until she was facing him.

  “Nyhnd’aladh,” she said softly, wiping tears from her eyes. “This is the truth that terrifies me: you are the deciding factor. Whether or not the Shenaihu or the Mendaihu win. When you walk into that warehouse tonight, all of our fates are sealed.”

  “Seriously?” he said. “The fate of Gharra rests on whether or not I walk through a damned door? Does Denni know about this?”

  She nodded. “She's the one who told me to get you. She wants you there, and I believe I know why. If a cho-nyhndah walks through that door, the balance remains, and there’s no knowing who will be victorious.”

  “That’s one hell of a prophecy,” he said. “If I'm the one to walk through that door, then it's my fate to do so. But then it's completely up to the Mendaihu and the Shenaihu to decide whether or not they want a skirmish or a bloodbath. Or nothing at all. Such a fate shouldn’t rest on one person alone, Kai. It rests on the souls of everyone.”

  She smiled at him. “I shall be there with you,” she said, and moved closer, until their foreheads were touching. “I have to head back. Denni knows you're okay now, so…” She was gazing directly into his eyes, those dark irises of hers mesmerizing him, pulling him farther into her own spirit. If he could go that far, he would go willingly.

  “I love you,” Kai whispered. “My shadhisi.”

  “My shadhisi,” he answered.

  I shall never lose you, my cho-shadhisi, he whispered within. I do not want to lose you, not ever again.

  He felt a chill flow through her body, quickly replaced by a warmth, a radiance of which he'd never experienced before. An inner radiance of spirit, burning brightly with the fires of a love borne anew. He knew it at once: cho-shadhisi. He'd pledged his love to her over the ages and the universes...and she'd accepted. She moved ever closer, until their lips met.

  My cho-shadhisi, she said to him from within. Forever.

  “You're an Elder,” Farraway said, leaning back against his desk and looking at Poe with all the pride of a boss whose training of his employee had finally paid off. It shone through in his smile, and he wasn't ashamed to show it. “I always knew you were kiralla, Alix, and a damn strong one at that. But an Elder? Didn't see that one coming at all.”

  Poe adjusted the collar of the leather duster he wore. He'd grown so accustomed to the shape fitting bodysuit underneath that he'd completely forgotten it was there. It was not confining at all. It felt like a second skin, like the kind a jacker would use to fully integrate with their VR environment. It conformed to all his movements, never binding or chafing. He could get used to this.

  “Didn't see it myself,” he said, letting out a small laugh tinged with a hint of bitterness. “Tell the truth, Dylan...you expected a lot out of Caren and I, didn't you? You knew what was coming.”

  “Only as much as I could see,” he said soberly. “Not everything, but some.”

  “You worked with Kindeiya Shalei,” Poe said.

  Farraway nodded. “I've known him for years. He's a phenomenal reality seer, Alix. He just wanted to make sure that everything went according to the plan of the Goddess. Now before you interrupt, I'm still not the proselytizing sort, but there are things even hard-nosed Mendaihu like me will go down on bended knee for.”

  “So you're saying...” Poe started.

  “We've known about this for at least five years,” he said sheepishly.

  Poe shivered. Five years... He crossed his arms and glared at him. “Aram and Celine knew about it, then,” he said evenly. He kept himself as calm as he could, but he felt his cho-nyhndah anger and his kiralla ferocity bubbling up within. He held himself close, close enough that no one, not even Farraway, could sense his growing anger.

  “After the fact,” he nodded.

  “What do you mean?”

  Sensing his growing aggravation, Farraway chose to stand up and casually walk around to the other side of his desk. He sat down heavily and gestured to him to take a seat opposite him. By habit he took the right chair, the left one empty since Caren was still at the warehouse. She needed to hear this truth, not him! He promised to remember everything he'd say about her parents, so he could tell her when the time was right and she was ready for it.

  “Aram and Celine Johnson were on a case involving a Shenaihu nuhm’ndah named Benassi Kaalen, bent on finding those who would have strong ties with the One of All Sacred in the future. Kaalen was a faulty reality seer, as strong as Kindeiya, though once a concrete possibility entered his head, he was convinced that was the true path the future would take. He'd psychically attacked fourteen kids and five adults, two with fatal results, before he'd found a boy and a girl whose spirit signature showed they would be future Followers of the One. He’d abducted the two kids and brought them to an abandoned apartment building near Branden Hill Park, and that's when Caren's parents caught up with him.

  “Mind you, Caren found out about all of this the hard way, digging into files she knew were confidential, and suffice it to say it didn't sit well with her. Once she found out, that's when she took that medical leave of absence and started soulhealing therapy.

  “But I'm getting off the subject. Now, from a Mendaihu perspective, Aram and Celine saw this man as a serious threat to the Mendaihu and to the lives of those in Bridgetown. This was what they were trained as Mendaihu to do. So they didn't know...”

  Poe frowned. “Didn't know what?”

  Dylan sighed heavily again. He didn't want to relive this again, and Poe could sense it.

  “That the Shenaihu was actually someone else, someone stronger. And working with Natianos Lehanna at the time.”

  “Saisshalé,” Poe spat. “Damn him! He killed them!”

  “No, Alix,” he said quickly. “You must believe me, it was not him. We know this for a fact. The man who killed Aram and Celine was an extremist Shenaihu nuhm’ndah who took Saisshalé’s history and perverted it to his own ends. Saisshalé is no saint, I know, but Kaalen was a nasty piece of work. But the truth of it…”
He exhaled, looking away. “The truth of it is, Aram and Celine knew what they were getting into. They knew that their daughter was the One of All Sacred. Probably knew the moment she was born. They were willing to go that far to protect her.”

  Farraway let Poe sit in silence for a few moments to let it all sink in. There was more to the story, there had to be.

  “Kindeiya Shalei has his prophecies and his divinations,” he continued. “But what he does best is reality seeing. He's amazingly precise nearly all the time. But Benassi Kaalen was…he was that one exception. He was a man Kindeiya could not understand, no matter how hard he tried. He couldn't see any of his timethreads, and Kindeiya's reality seeing went all out of whack whenever the man was involved with anything. Wherever Kaalen was, chaos would ensue.”

  “You’re saying Kaalen knew who they were.”

  “Yes,” Dylan said quietly. “He did.”

  Poe sensed his pain, laid bare for all to sense, while his heart remained hidden behind a thick, impenetrable wall. “He was hoping to capture Caren and Denni.”

  “Yes.”

  “And Aram and Celine knew already.”

  “Yes.”

  “And didn't tell anyone?”

  “They didn't think it was wise,” he said. “Alix, I've been cursing myself ever since for not sending backup despite their refusal.”

  That's not your fault, Poe said within.

  Dylan shuddered, but flashed a half-smile at him. “Well...” he resumed, shaking off his momentary sorrow. “Kindeiya looked deeper after that. He started watching Caren and Denni, close enough to observe yet far enough away that he wouldn't be noticed. And that was when he realized how close a Shenaihu had gotten to destroying the One of All Sacred. As soon as he'd sensed Denni's spirit signature, there was no denying it: she was the next Dearest.”

  “The Ninth,” Poe said from behind hands he'd steepled in front of his mouth. “You did a damn good job of covering that up when you brought Caren and me in here the night of the Awakening. I wouldn't have seen it then, but now I do. You're a damn good deceiver when you have to be, Dylan. I'll give you that.”