“I’ll check it. Thank you.”
From the back-door window, Gil watched Julie walk across the drive and up the steps to her apartment. The nanny had very firm ideas on how children should be handled, but she didn’t understand his and Abby’s unique situation. If he’d been able to raise his child, things would be different. But he was playing catch-up, trying to overcome years of separation, lies and constant meddling. It would take time. First he wanted to make Abby happy. Then they’d work through the other stuff. Such as overcoming his burning guilt for relinquishing full custody to her mother. He’d make it up to her if it was the last thing he ever did, if he could figure out how.
A wave of remorse surged through his heart and mind. He knew where to begin. He just wasn’t comfortable with the idea. It was time to confront his mistakes. Tomorrow he and Abby would go to church. He’d been at odds with the Lord too long.
* * *
Sunday morning proved to be more difficult than he’d expected. Abby wasn’t too happy about leaving Ruffles alone while they went to church. She’d sent a steady stream of nasty glares in his direction, but he’d held firm. She’d stomped around the house, refused to finish her breakfast and complained that she hated her dress.
He’d resorted to bribery, promising to take her to the big pet store in Sawyer’s Bend to buy a new toy for Ruffles. His conscience told him that was a bad move, and he could easily envision the disapproving look his nanny would send his way.
She believed he was too lenient with Abby. But being too hard on her wasn’t the answer either. He needed another option, because his heart and his head weren’t on the same page at all.
The thought circled in the back of his mind as he guided his daughter into a pew midway down the aisle. He hadn’t been in the sanctuary since his father’s funeral. Now he wondered why it had taken him so long to come back. This church was his spiritual home. He’d attended Peace Community since he was a baby. He knew every room, every window, even every electrical wire. His dad and brothers had rewired the building five years ago.
He glanced over at Abby sitting beside him on the padded pew. Taking Abby to his church home should have been his first priority after bringing her back to Dover. So why had he been avoiding this place?
A few rows in front he saw Linc sitting with Gemma and Evan. They looked happy. Gil tried to squash the twinge of envy that surfaced. His brother deserved all the happiness he’d found.
The music began and he stood, opening the hymnal, smiling when he realized it was one of his favorites. Was it the Lord’s way of saying welcome home? He held the book low so Abby could read the words as he sang out, wanting her to understand that lifting your voice in praise and worship was an important part of the service. He missed singing. He’d been a member of the men’s chorus before his dad had died and played guitar in the praise band now and then. He’d stopped singing after the funeral. Everything had changed.
The sermon lifted a fog from his thoughts, shining a light on his darker emotions. He couldn’t blame God any longer for the pain of the past. But that still left an ocean full of anger and resentment he’d carried for a long time. And he had no idea how to let any of that go.
Gil found himself looking around the congregation for Julie as they left the church. Had she come to the early service? Or had she changed her mind and stayed home?
Linc had invited them to have lunch at the Pine View Restaurant at Lake Shiloh. But first they had to run by the house and check on Ruffles. He had decided Linc got the better end of the puppy deal. Evan’s dog, Champion, was already house trained, having lived with a family until they’d moved away. He had gotten stuck with a new puppy that had no sense at all. The only thing going for it was that Abby loved the black critter with her whole heart.
He debated whether to invite Julie to join them for lunch but decided against it. She might be working for him, but she deserved her time off. She’d already given up part of her Saturday to help with the puppy.
Lunch was nice. Abby seemed to be warming up to Evan now that they had their dogs to talk about. Watching his brother and Gemma together, the loving touches, the tender glances, unleashed a longing in him for the same. He realized that he and Leah had never really had the kind of happiness he saw between Linc and Gemma.
He’d fallen in love with Leah instantly, but their relationship had always been rocky. He’d wanted desperately to please her and make her happy, but it had proved an ever-moving target. There was always something else that would make her happy, a big house, a baby, a newer car. By the time he’d grasped the reality of her illness, it was too late. She was gone and so was Abby.
* * *
Julie tapped on the back door of the Montgomery house Monday morning, eager to start the day. The garage apartment had proved to be a cozy, peaceful place. She’d been afraid that being so close to Abby would distract her from resting. But once she’d settled in, she was able to focus on her online students and continue her preparations for the move without interruptions. The one thing she couldn’t overcome was the secret she was keeping. Her conscience had pricked like barbed wire after attending church yesterday.
She’d heard the Montgomerys come and go a few times but managed to resist watching them. It was enough to know she was here, close by in case they needed her.
The door opened abruptly, and a very tired Gil stared back at her, his eyes wide, his expression one of befuddlement. “Is everything all right?”
He nodded.“Yeah. Come on in. We’re running late.”
The kitchen was a mess of dishes and cereal boxes. Ruffles scurried around her feet, begging to be petted. She scooped her up and cuddled her close. “Anything I can do?”
Gil pointed at the dog and glared. “That mutt is a menace. I should never have agreed to get a dog.”
She was beginning to get the picture. “She’s been keeping you up at night?”
Gil’s anger deflated. “Whines all night. Makes messes in the house and chewed up two sets of blueprints in my office.”
“Is she still sleeping in Abby’s room?”
He nodded. “Every time I even suggest putting the dog downstairs, Abby falls apart.”
“You’re the father. It’s your job to set rules and boundaries. Losing sleep isn’t good for either of you.”
“I know, but I can’t stand to see her so upset. She loves that dog.”
“She’ll get over it. You have to think of what’s best for her and not let her have her way in everything.”
Gil’s blue eyes darkened, and he squared his shoulders. “She’s been through enough. I’m not ripping that puppy from her arms. She just needs more time. I don’t expect you to understand.” Grabbing his jacket from the back of a kitchen chair, Gil picked up his briefcase and faced her. Before he could speak, Abby entered the room.
“’Bye, Daddy.” She walked past him and pulled the puppy from Julie’s arms, nuzzling it against her neck.
“’Bye, sweet pea. I’ll see you tonight.”
Julie watched his eyes as they rested on Abby. He wanted to hug her to tell her he loved her, but he didn’t. When he met Julie’s gaze, she saw the sadness and confusion in the blue depths and her heart longed to help. A muscle in his jaw flexed. Without another word he left.
It took great effort for Julie to get Abby into the car for school. She refused to accept that Ruffles couldn’t ride to school with them and glared when Julie made her take Ruffles out into the yard to take care of business. It wasn’t hard to see that the joy of having a puppy was wearing thin when it came to the more boring responsibilities of pet care.
It was only after Julie promised to play with Ruffles during the day that a grumpy Abigail climbed into the car. Clearly the lack of sleep was becoming more of an issue. She needed to have a talk with Gil, but his response to her suggestion this morning hadn’t been well r
eceived.
Julie pulled into the drive after dropping Abby off at school, noticing that the car behind her pulled into the driveway next door. As she glanced in that direction, a woman got out and waved to her.
“You must be the Montgomerys’ nanny. I’ve seen you dropping Abby off at school.”
“Yes, I am.” She met the woman at the edge of the front yard.
“Stephanie Fulton. My daughter Hannah is in Abby’s class. She talks about Abby all the time. I was hoping Hannah and Abby could have a playdate. She’s anxious to meet the new puppy.”
“Really? That’s nice to hear. I was afraid Abby didn’t have many friends. She’s recently come to live with her father, and the adjustment has been difficult.”
“Abby is welcome to come over to our house anytime.”
“Thank you. Having a friend nearby would be good for Abby. I’ll speak with her father about it.”
“Gil knows us from church, so it shouldn’t be a problem.”
After promising to get the girls together soon, Julie said goodbye and went inside. Making friends could help with Abby’s shyness. She’d been a lot like Abby as a child: shy, quiet and with few friends. She was still that way. One of the hardest things she faced with her move was leaving DiDi behind and having to make new friends in France.
Having a classmate next door was ideal for Abby. She’d talk to Gil to make sure he was all right with the idea. She’d have to take care on how she approached the subject. His overprotective nature toward Abby could hinder her adjustment.
Gil was reluctant to take her advice on his child. She couldn’t blame him. She was, after all, only the nanny.
Chapter Five
Gil glanced up as his brother Linc entered their father’s office at the Montgomery Electrical Contractors building Monday morning. They had agreed that Gil would take over the main office, since he would be handling the business end of the company and Linc would continue to work out of his smaller office across the hall. As the more on-site part of the team, he didn’t need the larger space. It was a practical solution, but Gil doubted if he’d ever feel comfortable sitting in his father’s chair and trying to fill his shoes.
“I’m heading out to Meridian this afternoon to check on the Johnson house.” He sat down, narrowing his gaze. “What’s going on? You look like you haven’t slept in days.”
He held up two fingers. “Nights.”
“Let me guess. Whiny puppy, right? Bro, you have to get control of that situation or you’ll be useless.”
“You sound like Julie. She thinks I should be harder on Abby.”
“Harder? Or more firm? Like Dad was with us.”
“Abby’s not like us. She didn’t have the same upbringing. Our relationship is sketchy enough. I’m not going to push her further away.”
Linc leaned forward. “I understand. This fatherhood thing is new to me, too. I’m having to learn Gemma’s rules for Evan’s behavior. I can relate to him as a coach, but I’m still feeling my way with how to be a good dad to him. At least you were Abby’s dad from the start.”
“When she was a baby. But she’s like a stranger now, and I feel like I’m swinging at air balls. Nothing I do connects.”
“Maybe your nanny has some suggestions. She’s had a lot of experience with kids.”
Gil set his jaw. “Teaching them, not raising them. Big difference. I’m her father. I know what’s best for her.”
“But you just said you’re having trouble connecting. Maybe an impartial observer can see things in a way you can’t.” Linc tilted his head and studied him. “Or is there something else going on?”
“Like what?”
He shrugged. “Like maybe you don’t want to ask the nanny for advice because it’ll make you look like you’re incompetent or not in control?”
“Why should I care what the nanny thinks?”
“Because she’s pretty and she knows how to connect with Abby, and I think she knows how to connect with you, too.”
“You’ve been sipping those energy drinks again because you are talking crazy.”
“I don’t know. There’s an unusual note in your voice when you talk about Julie. Very curious is all I’m saying.”
Gil’s cell phone rang, and he glanced at the screen. Oak Grove Elementary. He looked at Linc before he picked up the phone. Abby’s teacher explained the situation, sending a lead weight into the pit of his stomach. He ended the call, staring down at his clasped hands.
“What is it?”
“That was Abby’s teacher. Abby pushed a boy down in the hallway. I have to go meet with the teacher. Can you postpone your trip until tomorrow?”
“Sure. Anything I can do?”
“I wish there was.”
An hour later Gil pulled up at his house, tired, confused and at a loss on what to do. He reached for the bag of sandwiches he’d picked up. He hoped Julie was hungry.
She was curled up with her tablet on the living room sofa, Ruffles snuggled at her feet. She stood when she saw him, her expressive brown eyes widening with concern.
“What’s wrong? Is Abby okay? What’s happened?”
He shrugged out of his sport coat and gave her a reassuring nod. “Abby’s fine, physically, but we do need to talk. I brought lunch.” She searched his face, the worry bringing small creases to her forehead. He had the sudden urge to smooth them away. Her skin looked so soft, he knew it would feel like satin against his fingers. He averted his gaze and opened the bag. “Let’s eat this while it’s hot and I’ll explain.”
Settled at the table, he searched for a good place to begin. Swallowing his pride would be a sensible starting point. “I got a call from Mrs. Taylor earlier this morning.”
“Abby’s teacher? Why?”
“She pushed another student down.” The shock on Julie’s face mirrored his own. “The boy was trying to take her backpack away and tore the strap. She got mad and shoved him.”
“Poor baby. That backpack is precious to her.”
Gil took a deep breath. “I wanted to bring her home, but the teacher felt it was best to let her finish out the day. There’s more. Mrs. Taylor told me Abby is behind in several of her subjects. Math mainly. She suggested I find a tutor for her. She thinks Abby is bright, but lacking a solid foundation in basics.”
“That’s an easy fix. I can tutor her after school each day.”
“I can’t ask you to do that.”
“I don’t mind. I’d love to help out.”
Her eagerness warmed his heart. She continually amazed him. She was always ready to help, always positive, supportive, and she did it with warmth and kindness. Maybe Linc had a point. He didn’t like admitting his failings to Julie. He didn’t understand why, but he wanted her to think well of him. But this wasn’t about him, it was about Abby. He exhaled a slow breath. “I’m stumped. I don’t know what to do for her. She’s not getting better, she’s getting worse. I want to fix things for her, to make her happy.”
“Abby isn’t a leaky faucet or a broken toy you can repair.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose, knowing that what he was about to ask would be admitting he was a failure as a father. But Julie knew his child better than anyone. He looked into her pretty brown eyes and saw compassion. “I need your help. My way of doing things doesn’t seem to work. Even my brother thinks I’m doing everything wrong. She’ll listen to you. You understand her better than I do.”
“That’s because I’m a professional.”
“Where do I start?”
“Children need consistency and predictability. She needs rules and boundaries. You’re her father, not her friend. Start with the biggest problem.”
“Ruffles.” She stifled a laugh, causing her dimple to appear.
“Perfect. Decide what needs to be
done, explain it to Abby, then don’t back down. Even if she cries or gets upset. She’ll push back. Hard at first, but once she sees that you are serious she’ll come around.”
“I don’t want to do anything to damage her self-esteem.”
She shook her head. “Self-esteem doesn’t come from lavishly praising a child for each little accomplishment or rescuing them from unpleasant situations. It comes from teaching them to solve problems, letting them fail then showing them they are loved whether they succeed or not. Then you give them a chance to try again.”
Reaching across the table, she took his hand. “It’s obvious how much you love her. She’ll come to see that, too. But you have to be present in her life. Be there to listen, to hug, to guide and lift her up when she falls.”
Gil squeezed her hand. It felt good in his. Her slender fingers were soft and strong. Like the woman they belonged to. “Be her hero.”
“Exactly. But not her knight. Knights rush in and rescue the damsel, and she doesn’t participate at all. Heroes come to her aid, lend their strength to the battle and protect you.”
He wanted to be Julie’s hero. To protect her, to lend his strength if needed. “Is that what your father taught you?” The light in her eyes died, replaced with deep sadness. She never talked about her family, and now he wondered why.
“Yes. He taught me a lot. He was always there to support me.”
She pulled her hand from his, and he resisted the impulse to take it again. “What else?”
Julie brushed her hair behind her ears. “Structure and routine are important. And tradition. Something you do together. Like breakfast every morning or a movie night. You could call her every day when she’s home from school to let her know you are thinking about her. Commit to being home for supper each night, even if you have to go back to the office afterward. Give her something to depend on.”
“My dad had a special time for all five of us. I don’t know how he managed it, but he did.”
“What about signing Ruffles up for an obedience class at the pet shop? You and Abby could learn to train the puppy together. She might not resent the changes so much if she knew you weren’t mad at her dog.”
The Nanny's Secret Child Page 7
