Gil let his gaze travel over the appealing softness of her face. Once again she’d come up with the perfect solution to his problem. “That’s a good idea.” This time he reached out and took her hand. “I’m glad you took this assignment. You’ve been a blessing to us. I’ll never be able to repay you.”
Julie blanched and tugged her hand from his. Gil tried to figure out what he’d said that disturbed her. He’d meant to pay her a compliment.
“It’s almost time to pick up Abby, and I have a few errands to run before that. Unless you’d like to get her today.”
He pushed up from the table. “Let’s keep to the routine. I need to get back to the office. But I’d like you to be here when I talk to Abby about these school issues. We’ll do that after supper.”
“All right.”
He watched Julie hurry out the door, a sense of unease settling in his chest. The last thing he wanted to do was upset her. He needed her. Abby needed her. Maybe that was the problem. He was starting to depend on her too much, and it made her uncomfortable. He’d been too forthcoming. From now on he’d take a step back and keep the employer/employee boundaries in place. He couldn’t afford to lose Julie when she was making such progress with Abby.
* * *
Julie watched Abby’s expressions closely that evening as the three of them sat around the table. Hoping to ease the situation, she’d taken it upon herself to prepare a nice dinner. She would have preferred to be in her little apartment during this serious discussion, but Gil had asked her to be present, claiming her connection with Abby would be helpful. More likely it was for his own moral support. Setting down rules for his daughter was a scary prospect for him. She understood completely. But he didn’t understand that her emotional involvement was as deep as his own. Knowing her little girl was in for a serious behavior correction sent her stomach flip-flopping.
Abby listened to her father, her big brown eyes wide with confusion and a hint of tears as he laid out the new rules for Ruffles.
“You mean I can’t play with her anymore?”
“You can play with her all you want. But from now on she sleeps in her crate down here in the laundry room. Not in your room. In the morning you can come and let her out, feed her and take her outside.”
Abby’s bottom lip jutted out. “But she’ll be lonely.”
“Not for long. That’s why you and I are going to take Ruffles to the pet store and learn how to teach her to behave herself. Once she’s trained, then she can spend more time in your room.”
Abby glanced down at her pet. “She’ll be sad.”
“Maybe for a little while, but she’ll learn that she has to mind you. How would you feel if she got loose and into the street? If she doesn’t learn to obey and come when you call her, she could get hurt.” Fat tears became deep sobs. Gil glanced at Julie and his distress matched hers. “It’s for her own good. It’s only for a little while. Think about the fun we’ll have teaching her to sit and stay.”
“And roll over?”
“Once she learns to obey, you can teach her all kinds of fun tricks.”
The tears stopped, but the pout remained. Julie took her hand. “I’ll be with Ruffles all day while you’re at school. I won’t let her get lonely.”
Gil clasped his hands together, his expression serious and stern. “Now. Let’s talk about what happened at school.”
Abby drew her knees up in the chair, wiping tears from her eyes with the heel of her hand. “He tore my backpack.”
“Why did he do that?”
She shrugged. “He called me stupid ’cause I always carry it. He said it was ugly.”
Julie reached over and picked up the polka-dot bag. The strap had been ripped away from the fabric. She sent a pointed look at Gil.
“We can fix it, sweet pea. It’ll be as good as new. I understand how upsetting it was for you, but you cannot push other people because you don’t like what they say or do. It’s wrong. Do you understand?”
Abby started to cry again.
Julie had another idea. She hesitated, then remembered Gil had wanted her here to offer advice. “Abby, since this backpack is so special, maybe it should stay here at home so all your treasures will be protected. You and I could go shopping for a new one that’s just for school. Then you wouldn’t have to worry about it.”
Abby, who’d buried her head in her crossed arms, nodded.
“One more thing, Abby. Mrs. Taylor tells me you need help with math. Miss Julie has agreed to tutor you after school until you get caught up.”
“I hate math.”
Julie could barely make out the muffled statement. “I did, too. I had to work extra hard at it. Don’t worry, you and I will figure it all out.”
Abby lifted her head and looked at Gil, tears streaming down her face. “Are you going to send me away?”
Julie sucked in a breath, pressing a hand against her mouth. She ached to pull her child into her arms and reassure her. But there was no need. Gil was at her side in an instant, drawing her up into his arms.
“No, sweet pea. I would never send you away. I love you. I’m your daddy. I want you with me all the time.” Gil settled back into a chair, keeping Abby in his lap and brushing damp strands of hair from her face. Ruffles raised her paws and stared at them both. “Don’t cry, honey. Everything is going to be fine. I promise.”
The tender moment twisted deep into Julie’s heart. She wanted to cradle her baby close and reassure her, but that was Gil’s role. Quietly she stood and slipped out. The walk across the drive and up the stairs took all the strength she had. Safely inside her cozy home, she curled up on the sofa and released the emotions she’d been holding in check.
She should be shouting for joy. Gil had handled the situation firmly, with love and gentleness. Many of her concerns had been put to rest this evening. Gil would be a wonderful father, and his worries would fade quickly now. Abby had turned a corner, too. Watching Gil cradle his child had triggered a flood of conflicting emotions, pulling her heart in different directions. She’d been prepared to act as negotiator, helping them work through the issues and being a comfort to Abby.
She’d expected this tug-of-war with Abby. But what she hadn’t anticipated was the way her attraction for Gil was growing. He was a good man. Warm, caring and determined to make his child happy. She couldn’t have created a better parent for her child. He was everything she could have hoped for. A man she could fall in love with. A man she could never fall in love with. But if she wasn’t vigilant, she’d end up falling for a man she couldn’t have.
Needing perspective on the emotional night, Julie called DiDi.
“Finally you’re talking sense. Yes, I think you should get out of there. The longer you stay, the greater the risk that the truth will come out. Why are you even asking me about this? You know what you should do.”
“It’s not that simple. She’s facing all these new guidelines and having to be tutored after school, and not having her puppy in her room at night.”
“And you don’t think her dad can handle that?”
“Of course he can. He loves Abby. You should have seen him tonight. He would do anything for her. He was gentle and kind and reassuring. I know in time they’ll be very close.”
“Julie. Tell me you’re not falling for this guy. You know that can’t happen, don’t you?”
She wanted to deny her feelings, but she couldn’t. “I won’t deny that I’m attracted to him. He’s handsome and kind and he loves my daughter. But that’s all it is. Appreciation.”
“Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that. I haven’t heard this tone in your voice since you dated that guy you met at church a while back.”
“That was years ago.”
After reassuring her friend again that her heart was safe from the charming Gil Montgomery, she said goodbye
, knowing deep down it wasn’t completely true.
Needing a distraction from her guilty thoughts, she looked around for her tablet, realizing she’d left it at Gil’s. She hated to intrude again, but Abby should be in bed now. Gil would understand if she slipped in to retrieve it. Besides, she’d like a moment to talk to him. She was curious how Abby had been after she’d left. It had nothing to do with a desire to be close to Gil again.
* * *
Gil sat on the edge of the bed watching his daughter cuddle with her puppy. She hugged her to her neck, stroked her wavy fur and pouted the whole time. Abby’s big brown eyes were sad and worried as she looked up at him. He reached out and smoothed his palm over her hair. “She’ll be fine, Abby. Trust me. I won’t let anything bad happen to Ruffles.”
Resigned, Abby handed the wiggly animal over. Gil held her close to his chest, scratching under the puppy’s chin. “Just think how happy she’ll be to see you in the morning.”
He placed a kiss on Abby’s forehead. “I love you, sweet pea.” He knew better than to expect a response, but he prayed that someday she’d say she loved him, too.
After securing Ruffles in the crate, he went to the family room, hoping to distract his thoughts with a ball game. As he aimed the remote toward the TV, his gaze fell on the acoustic guitar resting in its stand in the corner. He hadn’t touched the instrument in over a year. Music had always been his escape, his way of dealing with emotions. Playing had helped him sort through things and put him back on solid ground.
He hadn’t felt like hearing any soothing chords in a long time. There had been too much pain and loss in his life lately. But tonight he’d experienced his first ray of hope. He’d dreaded drawing boundaries for Abby, fearful she would withdraw even more. But Julie’s advice had been on target. Abby had endured the changes better than he’d expected. His heart still twisted when he remembered her fear that he would send her away. She’d allowed him to hold her and ease her worries. He’d never felt more like a father than in that moment. To be able to assure his child that she was safe and loved meant the world to him.
Julie had slipped away. He understood she’d wanted to give them privacy, but he’d wanted her to stay. She was a part of their lives now.
Picking up the guitar, Gil sat on the edge of the chair, resting the instrument on his legs and wrapping his hand around the neck. His fingers found a chord, and he lightly ran his thumb over the strings. As he began to play an old hymn, his turmoil drifted away. Softly he sang the words, about remembering to go to the Lord in prayer.
Maybe it was time to rejoin the men’s chorus and volunteer for the praise band.
“Gil?”
He looked up to find Julie standing in the opening to the family room. “Hey. I didn’t hear you come in.”
“I knocked, but you didn’t answer. I left my tablet here. I heard singing and got curious.”
He rested his arm on the guitar. “I used to play all the time. I haven’t had much reason to rejoice until recently.” Movement from the hallway entrance into the family room caught his attention. “What’s wrong, sweet pea? Are you okay?”
“I heard the music.”
“Did I wake you? I’m sorry.” Abby came toward him slowly, never taking her eyes from the instrument. “Would you like to see my guitar?” When she drew close, he tilted it a bit. “Take your finger like this and drag it across the strings.”
She did, bringing forth a less than pleasant sound, but Gil’s heart swelled inside his chest to the point he thought it would break his ribs. “That’s it.”
“Maybe Abby would like to hear a song.”
He’d almost forgotten Julie was there. Almost. There was always a faint scent of spring and sunshine in the air when she was near. She always seemed to know how to handle any situation. “Good idea.” He searched for something simple that a child would know. “How about ‘Jesus Loves Me’?”
He fingered a chord and started to sing softly. Abby stared at him with a puzzled expression. “You don’t know this song?” When she shook her head, his joy washed away like a chalk painting in the rain, leaving behind evidence of another failure as a parent. He’d been so busy feeling sorry for himself he’d failed to consider what was best for Abby. He’d introduced her to church. Next he’d make sure she attended Sunday school.
Julie sat on the fireplace hearth nearby, holding out her hand to Abby. “Gil, I’ve forgotten the words to that song. Maybe you could help me and Abby to learn it?”
The warm rush through his veins quickened his heart rate. He captured Julie’s gaze and smiled. “Sure.”
A half hour later, Abby had learned the song and was tucked into bed again. Gil had asked Julie to remain. She glanced up at him from the sofa when he returned to the family room. “How did you know what to do?”
She shrugged. “I just put myself in her place. It feels awful to be left out, not knowing something everyone else does.”
He sat at the other end of the couch. “Thank you.”
“She’s warming up to you, to being here.”
“I guess she is. But that might be more your influence than mine.”
“She was picking at the piano keys the other day.”
“That must have sounded rotten. I haven’t had it tuned in years. It was my grandmother’s.”
“Abby may have an interest in music. I’d keep an eye out for that. It could be another way to connect with her.”
He looked into her eyes, inexplicably drawn to the warmth in her gaze. He didn’t want her to go. She had come into his family as if she’d been designed specifically for them. Thoughts of entering into another relationship with a woman had been nonexistent. But Julie made the idea appealing.
“I told her we’d paint her room this weekend. She seemed excited.” His voice sounded strange to his ears, higher-pitched than normal. His heart was beating erratically, too. Maybe it had something to do with the way the dim lights in the living room softened the line of her cheek and highlighted the sparkle in her eyes.
“If it’s all right with you, I’ll take her shopping for a new bedspread and curtains.”
“That would be good. I’m sure I wouldn’t have a clue.”
She held up her tablet. “I have some students to teach.”
Gil walked her to the door. She reached for the knob at the same time he did, and he found her in the circle of his arms. Her sweet scent seeped into his senses, muddling his thoughts. He looked into her warm brown eyes and his pulse jumped. His gaze traveled from her pretty eyes to the soft curve of her cheek and the slender column of her neck. Her pulse was beating rapidly. Like his.
“Julie, you’ve made a big difference in my life. I can never thank you enough for what you’re doing for us.”
She blinked, inhaling slowly. “Abby’s happiness is important to me, too.”
“I think you care about everyone’s happiness. You have such a loving heart.” Gently he touched her cheek, and it was softer than he’d imagined. Their eyes locked. The air in the room stilled. His gaze lingered on her beautiful expressive eyes, then traveled along her delicate cheeks to her kissable mouth. He knew he shouldn’t kiss her, but the draw was too powerful to resist. He touched her lips, a feather-light kiss meant to tell her—what? I’m attracted to you? I appreciate you? He opened his eyes, his heart thudding at the soft look in her eyes. Then it was gone, replaced with wide-eyed surprise. She tugged on the door handle, forcing him to step back. “Gil. I’m glad I could help, but I’m just the nanny. And I’m moving to Europe soon.”
“I’m sorry. You’re right. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“It’s okay. I didn’t stop you, but it can’t happen again. You understand that, don’t you?”
“Yes, of course. I hope I haven’t ruined things. Between us, I mean.”
“No. Of course not. I�
�m here for Abby. We both want her to be happy. That’s all we should be thinking about.”
“Right.” She stepped outside, triggering the motion light. Gil watched her walk across the drive and up the apartment steps before turning away. What had he been thinking? He hadn’t made such a stupid move since he was in college.
But she’d kissed him back. He wasn’t that out of practice that he didn’t know that much. Before she backed off, he’d seen a flash of fear in her eyes. Surprise, he could understand. He’d caught her off guard. But where did the fear come from? It didn’t matter. He couldn’t afford to take his attention from the main issue. Abby. There was no room for himself right now. Time for that later.
Chapter Six
Julie hurried into her apartment and locked the door. It was a pointless gesture, but it gave her a sense of protection and safety. Her heart raced, warming her skin. She touched her lips, reliving the brief touch of Gil’s mouth on hers. What had she been thinking? She’d told herself to back away. But when she’d looked into his eyes, she’d been powerless to prevent it. Because she’d wanted it. Closing her eyes, she tried to think rationally. She shouldn’t read anything into that brief kiss. Nothing at all. He was feeling grateful and overjoyed to see Abby taking an interest in something and learning the song. He probably saw her as the catalyst, and in his happiness he’d kissed her. Like a friend.
It would be easy to believe that if she weren’t so attracted to Gil Montgomery. She’d felt drawn to him from the moment he’d opened the door that first day. She’d told herself it was because he was a very attractive man. But the more she got to know him, the more she admired him. But falling for the man was beyond dangerous.
This had to end. Scooping up her cell, she placed a call to Agatha, only to be shuffled to voice mail. Exhaling a deep sigh, she hung up, then curled up on the couch. She’d try again later.
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