The Nanny's Secret Child

by Lorraine Beatty

  Before she could leave, he caught her arm and pulled her back around, holding her shoulders in his hands. “Julie, I’ll be praying for you and your family. Be careful driving. I want you back safe and sound.” She met his gaze, a warmth replacing the worry in her brown eyes.

  “I’ll be careful. I promise.”

  “Good. We need you.” Unable to stop himself, he bent and placed a kiss on her lips. She reached up and laid her small hand along his cheek and smiled. Then she turned and walked out.

  The house had never felt so empty. Neither had his heart.

  Chapter Ten

  Julie pulled her car to a stop at the small town house in Pensacola, Florida. She’d never been to her parents’ new home. They’d made the move from Birmingham when they’d connected with an organization designed to aid families of quadriplegics in need of extensive care. Maryann resided at the organization’s well-equipped facility, and her parents had purchased this home to be close to their daughter.

  For a moment her courage failed her, and she put the gear shift in Reverse. But the thought of being this close and not seeing her parents filled her with a different kind of fear. She’d closed herself off from her parents too long. It was time to face the past. Gil had forced her to see things differently. How could she advise him to forgive his sister-in-law when she hadn’t forgiven her parents?

  Please, Lord, give me courage. She had no idea what kind of reception she would receive. Her few phone conversations with her mother had been encouraging, but a face-to-face meeting was different.

  With a shaking hand, she knocked on the front door. It opened quickly. The woman on the other side smiled, her brown eyes widened and her arms opened.

  “J.J. Oh, my sweet baby. You’re home at last.”

  Helpless to stop the tears, Julie went into her mother’s arms, the years of anger and loneliness melting away. Her mother’s hug was warm and forgiving. She was heavier, grayer, but the love she remembered from childhood was still there. How could she have lived without them so long?

  “Come in, darling. Your daddy is going to be so happy to see you.”

  She allowed herself to be guided into the small kitchen, where her father sat at the table. The joy on his face when he saw her sent a new rush of regret coursing through her veins. His hug was as welcoming as her mother’s.

  When her tears subsided, Julie addressed the next issue. “How’s Maryann?”

  “Not good, sweetie. The doctors fear pneumonia will set in. If it does, then it’ll be a matter of time until the end.”

  “I’d like to see her.”

  “Of course. We’ll go right away if you want. She’ll be so happy to see you. She asks about you often.”

  Julie raised her eyebrows. Talking was not something her sister could do easily.

  Her mother’s smile reassured her. “This organization that’s helping us has all the latest technologies. Maryann can communicate quite well.”

  “Mom, I owe you an apology. I’ve been selfish and angry, and I had no right to be.”

  Her mother waved off her comments. “We owe you the same. It took me a long time to understand what happened between us.” She squeezed Julie’s hand. “You must have felt like you’d been tossed aside after the accident. We did everything wrong. I’m so sorry.”

  Julie brushed tears from her eyes. “Maryann needed you.”

  “But so did you. Your dad and I were so overwhelmed by what happened and the care that your sister needed. We never stopped to think about how you were coping until after you’d gone.”

  “There wasn’t anything I could do to help, and everything changed. Nothing was the same anymore.”

  “I see that now. I think we were in shock those first couple of years. When things started to fall apart, we didn’t know where to turn. One of the benefits of this organization was counseling. Knowing that your sister was finally receiving the care she needed, and that the costs were being covered, freed us to see what we’d lost where you were concerned.”

  “I understood, Mom, I really did, but I was all alone with no one to turn to when I needed help.” She clasped her hands together. “There’s something I have to tell you.”

  Her mother took her hand and held it tightly. “I’m listening.”

  When Julie finished telling her about her pregnancy and giving Abby up for adoption, she held her breath, unable to predict how her parents would respond. Tears were spilling down her mother’s cheeks, but Julie couldn’t tell if she was hurt or angry. “Do you hate me?”

  Her mother came around the table and pulled her up into her arms. “Of course not. I’m ashamed that you had to go through that alone, that you felt you couldn’t come to us for help.”

  “You weren’t in a position to. I didn’t want to add to your burden.”

  “Hush. You were never that. We could have found a way. And we might have had a granddaughter to love and spoil.”

  Julie pulled from her mother’s embrace. “There’s more. And I think I need your help to make things right, because I don’t know what to do.”

  In a way, telling her mother about her position with the Montgomerys would be the most difficult confession of all.

  * * *

  Gil glanced up from his coffee as his mother entered the kitchen. She’d stepped in to watch Abby while Julie was gone. “Good morning.” He forced a smile. This was the second morning Julie had been gone, and nothing felt right.

  His mother frowned at him. “Aren’t you sleeping well? You’ve got circles under your eyes.”

  “I’m fine. Just preoccupied with work.” The skeptical glance his mother shot in his direction said she wasn’t buying it.

  “Is Abby up?”

  “Yes, but she’s moving slowly this morning.” His mother headed upstairs, and he took his cup into the office in a feeble attempt to avoid further conversation with his mom. She knew him too well. He hadn’t been sleeping. Not since Julie had left. The house didn’t feel the same without her. Abby had cried herself to sleep the first night and nothing he could say or do had comforted her. He’d finally offered to let Ruffles sleep in her bed, and she’d settled down.

  As for him, there was an emptiness in the center of his chest that refused to go away. He hadn’t realized until she was gone how much of his life Julie filled. She was there when he had his morning coffee, when he came home in the evening. She lingered over dinner, joked with him and Abby as they cleaned the kitchen. Even when she was in her apartment, he knew she was nearby. Ruffles had started sitting at the back door each morning, anticipating her arrival.

  “Are you trying to avoid me?”

  Gil glanced up at his mother, who stood just inside his office. “No. Of course not.”

  “Abby is afraid Julie won’t come back.”

  “I know. I’ve tried to reassure her. I reminded her that you came back, and even Ruffles came back after running away. But I don’t think she’ll be happy until Julie’s home again.”

  “Understandable. She’s grown very close to Julie. Things don’t feel right with her not here.”

  “I know. She’s become a part of the family.”

  “Is that a good thing? She’s moving away soon. How will Abby feel about that?”

  “She’ll miss her. Julie has made a big difference in both our lives.”

  “Care to elaborate?”

  He searched for the right words. “She sees the bright side of things. She’s always upbeat and smiling. She sees the good in others.” Gil worked his jaw. “She thinks I should talk to Pam. Try to make peace for Abby’s sake.”

  “Sounds like a good idea. I dislike animosity within families. Over time it can destroy everyone. As you well know.”

  Gil knew exactly what his mother meant. He’d been unable to dismiss Julie’s advice. The more h
e thought about it, the more he knew she was right. “I called Pam this morning. We’re going to meet in Hattiesburg tomorrow and talk.”

  “That’s a good first step. But it will take time.” She came to his side, giving him a quick hug. “However it works out, I’m proud of you for your decision. I think Julie brings out the best in you. Remember that, no matter what happens.”

  He had the oddest feeling that his mother’s words held a deeper meaning, but he had no idea what it might be.

  He was still mulling over his mother’s words as well as Julie’s advice the next day as he pulled into a parking spot at Chadwick’s, the local restaurant in Hattiesburg where Pam had agreed to meet him. It was equal distance between Dover and Pam’s home in Mobile.

  Gil still questioned the wisdom of this encounter. He held out little hope of reaching a peaceful arrangement, but Julie did have a valid point. It would do Abby no good to have her family at odds with one another. Like it or not, Pam was her aunt. He couldn’t change that.

  He’d arrived early at the restaurant and requested a table in a secluded corner. He doubted Pam would create a scene in a public place. He took the seat facing the entrance. The sight of her as she came toward him, her mouth pinched into a thin line, triggered his defenses. He fought them down. For Julie’s sake he’d be civil and listen to his wife’s sister.

  Pam stopped at the table, her blue eyes glaring through him. “This is a waste of time.”

  “Probably.” He motioned her to sit. She waited until they’d placed their order before speaking.

  “If you’ve come to serve me with more legal papers, forget it. I plan on filing for custody of Abby. At the very least, visitation rights. Whatever I have to do.”

  “That’s your right. Mine is to protect my daughter.” Gil strived to keep his tone calm and reasonable.

  “She’s my sister’s daughter, too. Abby belongs to both of us.”

  A flash of emotion shot through Pam’s eyes. Gil knew the look well. Pain. Pam was experiencing the same kind of pain he had when Abby was cut out of his life. “Yes, she does.”

  Pam leaned forward, staring into his eyes. “Why do you want to cut me out of my niece’s life?”

  “Why did you want to cut me out?”

  Her expression hardened. “You treated my sister horribly. You never made her happy. Ever. You didn’t deserve to see Abby.”

  “Nothing I did or didn’t do would have made Leah happy. You know that.” He leaned back in his seat, clenching his fist. “Did you hate me that much?”

  “You took her away. You brought her to that horrible little town, and she didn’t want to come home anymore.” Pam swiped tears from her cheeks and glared back at him. “All she talked about was the wonderful Montgomerys, and how charming Dover was and how happy she was.”

  The truth flooded through Gil with sudden clarity, freeing him. This wasn’t about him or Leah.

  “You were jealous.” Why hadn’t he seen this before?

  “Leah was all I had. I raised her like my own child after our parents died. I was glad when she left you and came home, where I could take care of her and Abby without any interference.”

  Gil softened his tone. “Where you didn’t have to compete with anyone for her affections?”

  Pam gasped. Eyes wide. “She needed me. I was the only one who understood her.”

  “That’s it, isn’t it? You didn’t think Leah could love me and Abby and you, too.”

  For the first time in years Gil took a new look at his sister-in-law. It all made sense. Gil had grown up in a family where love was an ever-flowing fountain. Leah and Pam had only each other, and no one to show them that love was infinite.

  “I’m sorry you felt that way, Pam. I didn’t understand. We should have talked about this a long time ago.”

  Pam fought back tears. “It wouldn’t have mattered.”

  “Yes, it would. I would have done things differently. I would have tried harder to make you feel included in my family. I’m sorry.”

  “I just want to be able to see Abby.”

  The fear on the woman’s face triggered a depth of compassion he didn’t know he possessed. “All right. Let’s start out with a few short visits. But not alone. I’ll be there the whole time. It’s going to take time for me to trust you, Pam. We’ll take this slow. If everything goes well, we can extend the visits. I don’t want Abby to be afraid of you the way she was of me when she came home.”

  Pam nodded. “We’ll try. But I’m not promising anything.”

  Gil saw a softening in his former sister-in-law’s features. He made a mental note to send Julie flowers when she came home. She’d managed to turn a bad situation around with her sound advice. Her wisdom never ceased to amaze him.

  * * *

  Julie pulled into Gil’s empty driveway Friday afternoon with a sense of relief. The trip home had been long and frustrating. I-10 in Mobile was clogged with traffic, and the long stretches of empty landscape up Highway 98 had made the trip seem even longer.

  A glance at the clock on her dashboard told her that it was almost time for school to let out, which explained the empty driveway. Francie must be on her way to pick up Abby.

  Her heartbeat quickened at the thought of seeing her little girl again. It had been only a few days, but Abby and Gil had been in her thoughts every moment.

  One saving grace had been telling her parents about Abby. They’d been overjoyed to learn they had a granddaughter, but heartsick to know they’d never meet her. Regaling them with tales of her time as Abby’s nanny had helped them all. Though, her mother had urged her strongly to remove herself from the Montgomery home as soon as possible.

  She knew she was right. Her departure date for Paris was around the corner. It was time to disengage from her life here with Gil and Abby and step into her real life. Pretending to be part of this one had to stop.

  Hauling her luggage up the steps, she unlocked the apartment door and stepped inside, smiling at the welcoming feeling the rooms offered. The tension in her shoulders eased. She was home. Odd how she felt more at home in this tiny little garage apartment than she had anywhere else. With the exception of Gil’s home.

  The sound of a car door shutting reached her as she tucked her suitcase in the closet. Abby must be home. Hurrying to the door, she opened it as Abby came bounding up the stairs.

  “You’re back. You came back.”

  Julie caught the child in a fierce hug, moisture stinging her eyes. How she’d missed her little girl. “It’s so good to see you.”

  “I missed you, Miss Julie.”

  “I missed you, too, sweetie.”

  “I taught Ruffles a new trick. She can walk on her hind legs now. It’s really funny. Come see.”

  Julie glanced down at the driveway, her gaze locking with Gil, who stood tall and straight in front of the car. Even across the distance she could read the welcome in his blue eyes.

  She drank in the sight of him. The broad shoulders, the pale blue button-up shirt, the dark jeans that covered his long legs. Everything about him sent her pulse racing. He was the most handsome man she’d ever met, but that wasn’t what she loved most. His caring and compassionate heart quickened her blood. His devotion to his family and to her child counted more than anything.

  He met her at the bottom of the stairs, his smile slowly turning her insides to goo.

  “Welcome home.”

  Her heart skipped a beat. Not welcome back, but welcome home. She was home. She belonged here with him and Abby, but only in her dreams.

  “It’s good to be...back.”

  “How’s your sister?”

  “Stable, but the doctors are concerned. She’s getting the best of care, so my folks are taking comfort from that.” She glanced at his car. “Where’s your mom? Did you pick Abby up fro
m school?”

  He took her arm and guided her toward the house. “I had a meeting with Mrs. Taylor. She’s very pleased with Abby’s progress. She’s participating in class more, and her math skills are right on target. She asked me to thank you for your help.”

  He opened the back door to let her enter. “My mom is busy with Gemma today. Tomorrow is the wedding.” He reached out and brushed a stray hair from her cheek, sending a warm rush through her veins. “Abby was afraid you wouldn’t be back in time.”

  “I couldn’t miss seeing her toss rose petals down the aisle.”

  “Good, because I doubt if I could have handled that frilly dress and putting that flowered ring on her head. She needs you for that.”

  “Someone would have helped her.”

  “Not the way you can. The place fell apart without you. No one can run the house as efficiently as you do. Maybe I should hire you permanently.”

  Something inside her broke. She took a step back, breaking eye contact. “Any well-trained nanny could do the same.”

  “No, Julie, that’s not what I meant. Nothing was the same without you here.”

  “You better get used to it. I won’t be around much longer.”

  “Miss Julie, watch.”

  Abby hurried into the kitchen with Ruffles, eager to show off her new trick.

  Grateful for the interruption, she smiled at Abby, chuckling as the little dog reared back onto her hind legs and hopped across the kitchen.

  “That’s amazing, Abby. Good job.”

  Abby hurried forward and gave her another hug. “I’m glad you’re home.”

  “Me, too, Abby.” She avoided looking at Gil. She’d been a fool to think his attention was more than gratitude. Playing mommy to Abby had distorted reality. If it wasn’t too late, she’d contact the International School and tell them she’d be happy to come early to start her job. It was time to leave. No matter what the cost.

  * * *

  Gil pulled off his sweater and tossed it onto the bed before going into the bathroom to brush his teeth. The wedding rehearsal last night had gone off without a hitch. Since it was a small wedding party, it made for a short evening. Julie had attended the rehearsal to watch over Abby, but she’d refused to accompany him to the dinner afterward.