A Little Harmless Military Romance Bundle (A Little Harmless Military Bundle)
Page 5
“I didn’t say I didn’t want you.”
The words seemed to be torn from some place deep inside of him.
“But...”
He swallowed again. "I just can’t.”
She sighed, regret and pain filling her heart. She wanted to yell, but couldn’t. Not with him looking so damned sad, not to mention her other two houseguests.
“Tell you what, Seal. You get your shit together, then you can let me know. But I’m not waiting around forever.”
Just then, her brother walked up behind him. "Is that jambalaya I smell?”
She smiled at the happiness in her brother’s voice. He always said the smell of jambalaya simmering in the kitchen was the one thing that reminded him of home.
“Sure, and I have some bread too. But first, I have to get changed and de-stress.” She walked to the doorway and had to inch past Kade. Dammit, the man wasn’t making it easy on her. She could smell him, the soap he had used, and the wild untamed scent that was totally Kade. She inched past him, gave her brother a hug, and then walked to her bedroom.
As soon as she shut the door, she leaned back against it. Her heart was beating a mile a minute, her body a strange mixture of hurt and arousal. How could he still do that to her? Of course, she hadn’t really accepted the end, not that there was actually a beginning. Still, there had been that kernel of hope she had held onto. She felt the sharp jab to the chest. Damn the man for getting her tangled up. She knew he still wanted her. Well, she was pretty sure. But something was holding him back. Mal? She figured if Mal knew about them, he wouldn’t have brought him here. He played the easygoing brother, but he would kill a man for looking sideways at his sisters.
She closed her eyes and felt the tears slip free. She couldn’t do this. Would not do this. She had to hold herself together. The three men in her house where all holding on by a very tiny thread. Mal might not have talked to her about it, but she knew the last mission was worse than any of the ones they had been on.
Drawing in a deep breath, she started to undress. She needed to get her emotions under control. They didn’t need a blabbering woman crying all over them.
By the time she had changed into comfy clothes and splashed water on her face, her temper had cooled and she had washed away some of the fatigue that was pulling her down. She dried her face and looked at herself in the mirror. She had always been considered the "healthy one.” Teenage years being Jocelyn Dupree’s sister hadn’t been easy, that was for sure. With her tall, athletic body, Jocelyn had always made Shannon feel like a goblin. But in her late teens, she had grown into her body. She was full, curvy, and she thought, happy with what God gave her. Unlike some of her friends who dieted constantly, she never lacked for male companionship. And she had always thought Kade liked her just the way she was.
With a sigh, she decided to clean the rest of her makeup off and get out there. Those Seals needed someone who could hold it together.
And if there was one thing about the Dupree women, they held it together with an iron fist.
* * * *
“So, do you know if your sister is seeing someone?” Deke asked Mal.
Again, Kade had to bite back a growl. Being in her house, being that close to her, had his possessiveness growing.
Mal looked at him then smiled at Deke. "Nope. Not that I know of. There was that one guy...Mike?”
“Jonathon,” Kade said.
“Yeah, Mike was the guy before. Well, good old Jon was trying his best to tie her down. Shannon kicked him to the curb. I really thought he would be at the wedding in Hawaii.”
“If she cooked this, I think I’m in love.”
Mal laughed. "Oh, lord, no. You don’t want Shannon’s cooking.”
“Am I being disparaged in my own kitchen?
He wasn’t ready for her. Would he ever get used to being this close? He didn’t think so. Before Hawaii, he could control his feelings more easily. Now, he seemed to be completely off. Nothing seemed to work. He felt powerless to do anything about it. Every day he was worried he would freak the hell out.
Before, she had been sexy. There wasn’t anything she could wear that would make her look ugly. Shannon personified beauty. Now, though, she looked...cuddly. Due to the cold weather, she had pulled on soft, pink sweats. They shouldn’t make her any more attractive, but they did. Just seeing her that way made his body respond. He wanted to do nothing more than pull her into his arms and snuggle. Then fuck her until neither of them remembered their names.
The thought had his brain almost shutting down. From the time he’d been medevac’d out, he had been out of it. Even thinking about Shannon hurt. He had thought that there was a good chance he couldn’t be the man for her anymore. He knew he couldn’t. Right now, he was desperately trying not to imagine her tied to his bed as he pleasured her.
“Of course I’m making fun of your cooking. It sucks,” Mal said, agreeable.
“No pancakes for you,” she admonished, but she smiled when she said it.
“Okay, I take that back. Everything Shannon makes sucks, except for her pancakes.”
Deke smiled at her. "Cooking isn’t that important when a woman can look as beautiful as you do in a pair of sweats.”
Shannon laughed and placed her hand on Deke’s shoulder in a friendly gesture. Something rumbled in his chest at the sight. She glanced at him, her eyes widening a bit.
“I see y’all definitely left me nothing to eat.”
“You don’t eat this late,” Mal said. "Does she, Kade?”
He was still irritated that her hand was on Chief’s shoulder. The contact was far from intimate, but it was driving Kade insane.
“So she claims.”
She glanced at him again, her brows now furrowed. But she said nothing to defy his suggestive tone.
“I ate something earlier, before you got here. I would have been home if you would have told me you were bringing guests.”
“I had to drag these two along.”
She shook her head and went to get herself some water. "What kind of Seal needs to be forced to come to New Orleans? You boys need to have your heads checked out.”
“If I had known you would be waiting here, I would have offered to drive,” Deke said.
She laughed. It was that sexy little flirty laugh he loved. And she was doing it for some guy. Some other guy, who was looking at her like he had a chance at her. Dammit, didn’t Chief know not to take advantage of Shannon? She was his.
He pulled back from that thought. She wasn’t his. Never would be again.
Fuck, he needed some rest.
“I think I better get some sleep.”
“Do you need anything?” Shannon asked. Her tone was normal, but there was a hint of something else there. He looked over at her, but he couldn’t decide if it was wishful thinking.
“No, just some sleep. It was a long drive from Virginia.”
She nodded in understanding.
“This old man needs some sleep if he’s going to see any of New Orleans tomorrow. Been a while since I’ve been here,” Deke said.
“If you need someone to show you around, let me know. I scheduled myself off the rest of the week to spend time with Mal. I’m sure he will get sick of me within six hours,” Shannon said.
Deke smiled at her. “Thanks.”
Kade and Deke made their way to their rooms. The guest room was right by the stairs, and Deke stopped him there.
“You don’t have a problem if I ask Shannon out while I’m here, do you?”
He wanted to tell him to stay the hell away from Shannon. He wasn’t her type. He was too old. And she was his.
But that wasn’t true. None of it.
“No problem, mate.”
He turned and walked into his room, thinking that for the first time in a week, he would be taking the hard meds.
* * * *
“You want to tell me why you brought this motley crew to my house without warning?”
Mal shook his head. "I
didn’t want to say I was bringing them if I couldn’t convince them. Both of them just wanted to spend the week sitting around their quarters. I thought it wasn’t a good idea.”
“That bad?”
He nodded. "Actually, probably worse. We lost Forrester.”
The name brought to mind the young kid that had spent his honeymoon in New Orleans just a year earlier. "Oh, shit.”
“Yeah, Amanda is kind of a wreck.”
“I can imagine. How are you doing?”
“You can see that my beautiful face is just fine.”
She took his hand and tugged on it. "No. I want to know if you are doing okay.”
For once, Mal’s expression turned serious. "Yeah. A few dreams here and there, but no depression. Seriously, I was knocked unconscious and missed the worst of it.”
“I take it Deke and Kade didn’t? They looked a little roughed up.”
“They look amazing compared to what they looked like a few weeks ago. Kade especially. I understand we almost lost him. He was trying to save Forrester.”
Her heart jumped into her throat. "Do Kade’s folks know?”
“Probably not. He’s shut down. He was quiet before, but now he’s damned creepy.”
“Mal,” she admonished. "That’s no way to talk about your best friend.”
“Yeah, I know. But it’s the truth. You saw. He barely talks now. It’s like he’s not there. I thought you might be able to help out.”
She studied her brother’s eyes. "Like how?”
“He’s always had a crush on you. You have to know that.”
“Yes.”
“Well, he always seems so...relaxed around you. He talks to you more than he talks to any woman I’ve seen him with.”
She dropped his hands. "So you want to act as my pimp?”
He rolled his eyes. "Good God, no. I might have to bleach my brain to get that image out of there.”
“Why don’t you explain what you want from me, Mal?”
“He talks to you. If you could get him to listen, to come back to life, that would be fantastic.”
“So a miracle?”
He chuckled. "No, just a sounding board. Not sure if it will work, but I thought maybe you would bring him out of his shell.”
“I’ll try.”
“That’s all I ask, sis.” He leaned forward and gave her a kiss. "I’m going to go to bed. You need help with the dishes?”
Normally, she would force him to do all the cleaning up. Looking at him though, she saw the dark circles under his eyes and the fatigue weighing him down. He was worried about his friends, and the stress of that and the drive was probably enough to blank any man out, even a Seal.
“Naw, I got it.”
She went through the motions as she listened to him walk up the stairs. She couldn’t let him see just how much that affected her. He knew it hurt for her to hear, but she also knew her brother. He was worried. Very worried. Kade was usually so self-contained, but now that Mal pointed it out, she realized he was right. Kade had shut down. She rinsed off the dishes and put them in her dishwasher as she thought of his behavior.
He had always been quiet, just as Mal had said, but dammit, he had always been...well, like a guy hiding a secret. A fun secret. His eyes had always sparkled, and he had always been willing to listen and join in when asked. Now, it was as if he saw himself as separate from the world. Even from his closest friend.
She started the washer then began cleaning off the table. Was it as simple as guilt? He hadn’t saved Forrester. He had survived. Maybe that was why he was holding back from her, and even Mal?
Did she want to take a chance on helping him? Getting him to talk, trying to draw him out, would hurt. Hurt a lot, that was for sure. Being in the same house as him had her aching from the inside out. Hell, just hearing that funky noise he’d made when she’d touched Deke had sent ribbons of lust streaming through her blood.
She paused and straightened.
He had been cool, at least he’d looked that way. But, in his eyes...her breath caught. "He’s jealous.”
For a second she thought back, tried to debunk the idea. Why would he be jealous of a simple pat? She understood maybe getting upset if she had slept with Deke, but this was nothing. It had to be that he still had feelings for her, yes? Why else would he have growled?
That had her looking at the situation in a different manner. Did she want to put herself out there, take a chance on being hurt again?
Maybe.
Worse, did she want to take the chance of losing him forever? If he felt guilt for what happened, did he think he wasn’t good enough for her? That would make sense. She could at least put out feelers, push him a little. Knowing Mal, he’d been handling his friend with kid gloves. While her brother was a kickass Seal, just like every other Dupree man, he had a gooey, soft center. He hated to see someone he loved hurt and would do anything to protect him or her.
She sat in the chair with a thunk. Well, damn. She had to look at the situation a little differently now. He might be a little rough around the edges now, and she was still pissed at him, but he needed her. He needed more than just a friend, if her suspicions were right.
She would just push some buttons on that damned hardheaded Seal tomorrow and see what happened.
If there was anything worth the pain, it was Francis McKade. And if he was too stupid to realize she was good for him, she’d smack him upside the head and walk away.
She had to try because she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life regretting it.
Chapter Seven
Kade opened his eyes to the blinding sun. It felt as if someone had poured acid on them. He slammed his lids shut with a groan. He had been so tired the night before that he’d forgotten to shut the blinds. No wonder he was burning up.
“Fuck,” he said.
“Is that any way to talk in my house?”
He was slow to react the moment he heard her voice. He was barely awake, dealing with a blinding pain in his head, and the woman of his dreams was in his room. Her slow, New Orleans accent was threaded with amusement and low enough to send heat racing through his blood. Damn, he was naked but for the sheet over him.
Slowly, he opened his eyes and glanced to the doorway. Damn, the woman was gorgeous. Shit, he didn’t need this. He was still dealing with being in her house, being within feet of her, and now she was standing there smiling at him. She was leaning against the doorjamb, a steaming mug of coffee in her hand, and she was wearing some kind of flimsy robe with red flowers all over it.
Of course, without little provocation, his cock went completely hard. What man wouldn’t react like that to seeing her there? Her curls were dripping over shoulders, and her face was scrubbed free of makeup. Dammit, he wanted to see her like that every morning. Wanted her in his bed, wanted to wake up beside her, snuggle against her, then love her slowly awake. And that was why he hadn’t wanted to come. He knew every minute—every second—of the day he was in New Orleans, his need to touch her would grow. He knew it would be impossible to resist her. Less than twelve hours and he was ready to beg her. Mentally, he chastised himself. He couldn’t take her to bed like he wanted, to love her until neither of them knew their names. The man he was in Hawaii had that right. He didn’t now, and he couldn’t stand hurting her again.
“I’m sure you’ve heard worse than that with your brothers around.”
She smiled as she took a sip. God was not smiling on him, he knew it then and there because she walked into the room. She closed the blinds then leaned against the dresser.
“Do you have any plans today?”
He knew she asked a question, but he couldn’t seem to answer. His brain was melting. Holy fuck. The robe she was wearing hit her mid-thigh. If she moved just the wrong way, he would find out if she had any panties on. Jesus, what the hell did he ever do to God to deserve this?
“Kade?”
He shook his head, trying to break free of that mesmerizing bit of leg she was s
howing him and looked up at her face. Those eyes were studying him, and he felt himself shiver. He didn’t physically do it, but everything in him trembled as he tried to hold onto his control.
“Not sure.”
She took another sip and shifted her weight. Dammit. He couldn’t decide if he wanted her to leave or stay. Either one would be bad and good.
“Do you want to come with Deke and me?”
He wanted to. He really wanted to. The idea that Chief was sniffing around her didn’t sit well with him. The man had a reputation with women. He might be older than most of the other Seals, but he tended to have more women, if rumors were correct. But even at his age, he didn’t seem to be settling down. The last woman Kade had seen him with was younger than Shannon.
Still, Kade knew it wouldn’t be a good idea to tag along. He could handle her in small doses, but he needed a break every now and then. And there was a good chance that he might beat the hell out of Chief if he got too handsy.
“Naw. I thought I would hang around the house today.”
She frowned. "Your leg’s not bothering you, is it?”
“Did Mal tell you I hurt it?”
“No. You were favoring it last night.”
He nodded. "It’s stiff from the drive. I thought I would take a hot bath, then put it up with some ice.”
“Well, if you change your mind, we are leaving at eleven hundred.”
He smiled. "Yes ma’am.”
She patted him on his leg, and his eyes almost crossed. Just that simple touch had his body heating, his cock jumping. Damn, if the woman wasn’t going to have him dead from lack of blood to his brain.
“There are some fresh pastries in the kitchen, and Mal is brewing some coffee.”
She left, and he dropped his head back on the pillow. The scent of her was still in the room, and he probably would never smell that spicy perfume again without getting aroused. He knew she was still hoping for something, and dammit, he wanted to give it to her. But he couldn’t trust himself. Not with his issues, or with her.