Sizzling in Singapore (A Carnal Cuisine Novel)

by Falls, K. C.

  "I couldn't betray a confidence. Kurt didn't know what he'd find or how it would turn out. His pride was on the line."

  The almighty male pride rears its nasty head. "Well, I sure do appreciate that it wouldn't do to have little ole' me knowing anything about Mr. Big Chef's vulnerabilities." Anger was starting to push back on the confusion she'd been feeling. Anger at Kurt for not telling her. Anger that Nick's loyalty to his uncle was stronger than his trust and concern for her. "Are you going to tell me what happened?"

  "He found her. But he says there have been 'complications' He asked me to give him a little more time. He told me that he was going to wrap it up 'one way or the other' very soon. He's anxious to get back here."

  "I see." He can't come back soon enough for me. I don't know how to stay aloof anymore. It hurts too much to know that any day Nick's going to take off for a new life. A life that doesn't include me.

  "Look, Mae, I don't think Kurt imagined how much his disappearance would affect you. He's very fond of you and I know he wouldn't have worried you for all the world. He's just...Kurt. The man has lived in kind of a cloud of gloom for so long that I think he's lost his sense of empathy. He's not completely aware of other people's feelings."

  Oh, and you are? I'm dying over here and you haven't got a clue. "That much is abundantly clear. When you talk to him again kindly tell him how relieved I am that he isn't dead," she said flatly. "Now, if there's nothing else, I need to get back to my Tuscan soup recipe."

  ***

  Mae pretended to work with her recipe as she dissected the conversation. Berating herself for being a complete and total idiot, she tried to think of a plan. There was an indeterminate amount of time left, although she sensed the clock was ticking faster. Kurt was going to return soon.

  Allowing herself to imagine that Nick was going to ask her to return to the States with him—that he had fallen for her—was an incredible leap into fantasy land. I sat there like some breathless, vapid sixteen-year old. I was actually prepared to say 'yes' to him! Where the fuck did that come from? We've only known each other for what—six weeks? What was I thinking?

  Okay. I already know it's gonna hurt like hell when he leaves. I already know that I'm in way deeper than I wanted to be. And, if I didn't admit it before, I am admitting it now. I am useless at this so-called adult play, or sport fucking or 'casual affair' crap. I don't want 'no strings attached' I want strings. Lots of strings. A whole, big whopping ball of string.

  And since she was being brutally honest with herself, she had to acknowledge that she'd like that ball of string wrapped tightly around Nick Seville.

  So. Two choices. Either I continue with the relationship until he leaves or I don't. It's not going to be pretty no matter what I do. But if I continue to touch him, oh-dear-god make love with him, there's the chance I won't be able to keep quiet. Now that I know how much I want him in my life, I might not be able to keep from telling him so.

  She pondered the painful choice facing her. On the one hand, she knew that their time together was short and she might only have a few more chances to touch that warm skin, to smell his spicy male smell, to kiss his tender mouth, to have his body inside her body and know the completeness of being full of him. But on the other, there was the danger of blurting out something stupid that would make a fool of her. Her pride won.

  I can use this Kurt situation to fabricate a reason for shaking him off. I'll tell him that I have trust issues and don't want to be with someone who could take my feelings so lightly and keep important secrets from me. That's plausible. Sort of. I can feign enough hurt and anger to make him buy it. He'll never know how hard I've fallen. Somehow, I can extract myself from this gracefully and send him on his way.

  Mae let out a melancholy sigh and took to the task of figuring out when and how she would tell Nick that playtime was over.

  ***

  The note read: "Can we have a word when service ends?"

  It had been a busy night. Mae had had to step in beside Tank at sauté when he fell into the weeds. Every single order coming in was at his station and all the burners were occupied with a holding pattern behind them. Mae did what she could to have pans and ingredients at the ready and grab what she could from the stove as the dishes cooked off. It is never a comfortable thing to have two people working in a space designed for one, but she and Tank accomplished it with as much grace as could be hoped for.

  Nick had been spending his night opposite the expeditor and as the dinners were plated, he took over the garnishing and final inspection. He made sure that all the elements were in place and the plates were impeccably clear of any stray drops, crumbs or fingerprints.

  When the pace finally slowed a bit, Mae slipped the note into Nick's pocket as she passed him on her way to the walk-in. He pulled it out and knew immediately that something was up. He wondered why she would feel the need to ask for 'a word' when at this point their meeting up after work was a foregone conclusion.

  They sometimes planned to leave separately and meet at an agreed location after work. Other times they both pretended to be busy with paperwork until the last cook had left and the dishwashers had finished the final cleaning. Once or twice they had sequestered themselves in the office, where they were hidden by the smoked glass and just waited until they were alone.

  Nick's curiosity led him to push their usual time-frame up a bit, so it was fairly early when he passed by Mae at her desk and said "a word?" There were still a few late orders, but the people left in the kitchen saw nothing unusual about the two top dogs having a pow-wow in the office.

  Mae sat down and folded her hands in her lap. Nick didn't speak. He left the ball in Mae's court. "Nick, I've had a lot of fun with you these past weeks."

  "And I with you, Babe."

  "But this deceptive streak in you is something I just can't accept in a person--not a friend or a lover. I can't trust you to tell me the truth. You lied to me when we met and now I find you've been lying to me about Kurt all along."

  "I never lied to you."

  "Oh, grow up! Don't piss on me and tell me it's raining. You know that lies of omission are just as bad as overt ones."

  "C'mon, Mae. That's not fair. I told you I was sworn to secrecy. I've known Kurt all my life, I owed him that."

  "Part of me admires your loyalty. But another part of me is angry and hurt that you didn't think enough of my feelings or trust me enough to keep a confidence. And frankly, we don't have the luxury of working through this issue."

  "What do you mean by that?"

  "I mean that this 'relationship' of ours is finite. And, the fact that in the short span of time we've known each other you've chosen to keep something very important from me shows me where your priorities lie."

  "I think you're being terribly unreasonable. What would you have done under the circumstances?"

  "It doesn't matter what I would have done. What matters is what you did. I'm sorry, but my life was busy and fulfilling before we met and I think it's time for me to get back to a comfort zone that I can live with. I'm sorry Nick."

  "I really don't understand how you can be angry enough about this to just end it this way." Nick felt a tug of panic as he realized that he and Mae might really be over.

  "We both know that it was over before it really started."

  "I thought we were good together," Nick said sadly.

  Mae softly laid a hand on his arm. "We were good together. Very good. But it was always going to end and now is as good a time as any. I don't need the drama and you need to move on." She rose from her chair and leaned over him to give him peck on his forehead.

  The brush of her lips on his face was bitter sweet. He made no attempt to hide the misery he was feeling. But if she noticed, she didn't say. She quietly shut the door and left him with his thoughts.

  ***

  This time, tears came fast and hard. She allowed herself the luxury of having a good cry, sobbing into the pillow until her chest shook with the effort of it. Every
so often she would stop, thinking she was all cried out, and then another image would intrude on her mind--a remembered touch, a recollected word, the vivid mind's-eye pictures of his smile--and the tears would begin anew.

  She tried to find the place in their time together when she went over the line. When, she asked herself, did it cease to be casual and cross into consuming? When, exactly, did I fall in love with this man? She knew it had been before she actually thought the thought. But, somehow, it was important to Mae to figure out when the moment occurred that she felt that Nick was more than a passing, casual affair.

  It was muddled so much by the fact that I jumped into the whole thing thinking he was something he wasn't. If he had been a guest and left in a day or two I would never have had the chance to see him in another light. I would have cherished the fond memory of an awesomely handsome stranger and the incredible pleasure we shared.

  Was it that night when he came to Cess's apartment? That night was beautiful, but I think I was still not quite 'there' Was it the naughtiness in the kitchen? That could have been the beginning of the end. I felt so vulnerable and so trusting. He was so gentle, so careful. And the next day there was this lingering intimacy that spilled over when we walked in the Gardens.

  The Gardens. They had stolen a few rare hours to explore the daylight together and Mae had suggested a walk in the Singapore Botanical Gardens as dawn approached. The early morning was a favorite time for locals to explore the renowned tropical gardens that were a source of national pride. The many winding paths provided lots of places for lovers to sit and chat tucked into the manicured tropical jungle with its exotic, rare plants. They had chosen a wide bench in a copse of feathery pines.

  They sat in the early morning light watching the people hurrying through the maze of paths, taking hurried short cuts to their jobs. They sipped on tea purchased from a push-cart vendor on a stop to watch a group of old folks doing tai chi. Though the morning was no different from any other Singapore morning, somehow it felt a little fresher, just a hair cooler. And although the tea was piping hot it was ironically soothing and refreshing. Mae had explained to Nick how the locals believed that drinking ice-cold beverages in a warm climate actually made the heat feel stronger and that a warm drink was far better to cool the body.

  Nick had purred in her ear that nothing--hot or icy cold--could cool his body at that moment. She was sitting across his lap and he was tracing the outline of her face with a finger, brushing away a tendril here or there. He drew his finger down her bare arm and the light touch stirred her nerve endings into high alert. He explored her knees, bare under her voluminous white cotton skirt.

  "You should keep this tan. You're legs are the most delicious shade of gold." He touched the inside of one thigh as he worked up to where her legs met and then down the other thigh. Mae would always remember the tug she felt deep inside her abdomen when he got anywhere near her sex. He kissed and snuffled in the crook of her neck while his hand crept up her legs again and he began to tease her with his finger. He took her earlobe in his teeth and tugged at it while his warm breath tickled inside her ear. "You're a beautiful woman, Mae. I can't stop desiring you. Only hours ago I was spent and yet..."

  His erection was hard under her recently taken ass. The recollection fueled her as he fondled and explored her sodden hole. She had purposely left off her panties knowing that there might be a moment like this. A family happened by and she nonchalantly smoothed her skirt over his wandering hand and smiled innocently at them as they passed.

  "Nick, there are people all over this park!" But even as she protested she swung herself around to straddle him. Her skirt covered their laps in its gauzy folds and she wove her arms around his neck. She pressed her lips to his and pulled in a breath as she kissed him. Between his cock and her now swollen mound, the fabric of his jeans seemed to sizzle with their body heat.

  A man on a bicycle passed and paid no attention. Lovers stole kisses in the gardens all the time.

  Nick reached down to unzip himself and free the erection that threatened to burst through the fabric. Mae had looked nervously over her shoulder before she raised herself just enough to come back down with him inside her pussy. She rearranged the skirt chastely around their hips.

  For some moments they didn't move at all. They simply looked into each other's eyes, savoring the intensity of an utterly private moment in a very public place. Occasionally she would squeeze his cock with her internal muscles and he would respond by using his to ever so slightly bounce himself inside her. They giggled a little. They gasped a little. They kissed some more. He put his hands at her hips and pressed her tighter to his groin as she drew tiny, almost imperceptible circles with her clit at the base of his erection.

  Every so often passersby would come into his sight and he would draw his face away from hers and pretend to say something. She would mime a response. If anyone had paid them any mind, it would appear as if two lovers were engaged in an intimate conversation. And of course they were, only their bodies were doing most of the communicating.

  The intensity of that moment had rocked Mae to her core. The brazenness of their unbridled desire playing out in the national garden was an experience unlike any other she had ever had. The fact that they couldn't really move nor vocalize their sensations forced them to communicate mostly with their eyes. They had locked upon each other's gaze and Mae felt that she was looking into the hazel depths and seeing into a secret place inside him.

  And, because they were mostly clothed, all of the contact they did have was concentrated. Conjoined by lips, cock and pussy felt, at that moment, more naked than if they had been in bed without anything on.

  When they came to their climax, it was deliciously unique. She felt her eyes widen and watched his do the same. They couldn't shout or groan or invoke God. They could only gaze at each other and share the silent knowledge of their consummation.

  I think that was the defining moment when I realized I love this man. It just happened. I love what he does with my body. I love that he knows why I do what I do. I love that we share this spirit that shapes us. His goals and his dreams appeal to me in ways that surprise me.

  God, I feel like the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz. I know I have a heart because I can feel it breaking.

  ***

  Mae was not looking forward to work. Her eyes were puffy, her nose was red and she had a raging headache from all the crying the night before. She wanted to get back under the covers and sleep for days. But that, of course, was not her way. So she put some drops in her bleary eyes, splashed cold water on her swollen face and stoically dressed for battle.

  All morning long she looked for Nick, watched for his arrival and wondered what, if anything they would have to say to one another. Every nerve on her body was on high alert and she went through the motions of her job zombie like. She must have done a pretty good job of it because no one, not even Tank remarked on her mood. Of course, it's easy to hide in the routine of a busy kitchen. Sauces are made, orders are placed, plates are garnished, meats are butchered and none of those tasks require much in the way of comment. By the time lunch service had ebbed into the silent pace of the afternoon prep Nick had still not arrived. Mae decided to buy herself a little more time out of his presence and told Tank she wasn't feeling well and would take the evening off. Ever responsible, she made sure that there were no events that night that absolutely required her to be on duty.

  Fortunately, Cess was in town and was more than happy to lend a willing ear and ready shoulder when Mae needed it. They met for high tea in the luxurious lobby of the Finewood Park. The grand piano was tinkling away, as it usually did, sans musician. Mae always found the idea of a grand player piano a bit strange, but the music was soothing all the same.

  High tea was a ritual that hung on long after the British had left the island nation to fend for itself. There were all of the traditional elements--cucumber sandwiches, scones with clotted cream, confections of every sort and an assortment of te
as that Mae could never really comprehend. To her, tea was tea. But to Cess, it was the beverage of Valhalla.

  "Civilization!" Cess studied the menu and chose Golden Monkey black tea for her 'cuppa' "Such a lovely tea. Smooth, rich and with a hint of cocoa. After that swill we offer on the plane, this will be heavenly."

  Mae ordered the same because she really didn't care one way or the other. "I know my palate should be sophisticated enough to appreciate a good tea, Cess, but it all pretty much tastes the same to me. Besides, right now my senses are all dull as dirt. I'm so depressed that I feel like there's a gray mist fogging me and everything around me."

  "Why must you take everything so hard, Love? You were having such a good time. Now you're wallowing in a funk."

  "I guess I'm just not capable of a 'detached' affair. Something in me just dives in and goes for broke. I didn't mean for it to happen. I willed it not to happen."

  "But happen it did and here we are. Again. Honestly, I really thought that you'd be able to be a bit more grown up about this thing. You knew..."

  "Yes, dammit, I knew. I don't think it's very kind of you to chastise me at this point. There's the tea," she pointed to the pot, " Now how 'bout a little sympathy?"

  "My dear Mae, I am sympathetic. But I'm also your friend. A friend who's willing to be full-on honest with you. The man can't help his situation, now can he? Did you expect him to sweep you into his arms and carry you to America to live happily ever after?"

  "I don't know what I expected. It just seemed that we enjoyed one another so much. We have so much in common. I think it's almost worse to like him than it is to love him. And Cess?..."