Dragons Luck gm-2

by Robert Asprin

  “True, and I don’t. There is no name for me. I do birds.”

  “What birds?”

  “Any birds, size, shape, color, even sex. It makes no difference. I am limited to that, but within my bailiwick have no limitations. If it has feathers, I can manage it with a bit of work.”

  “If you don’t mind my saying, you don’t look much like any bird I have seen,” Griffen said.

  Jay smiled and ran a hand through his hair. He pulled the short strands up enough that Griffen could see they weren’t strands at all. They were very soft, downy black feathers. So fine he would never have been able to tell.

  “You just haven’t seen one that has evolved enough.”

  Thirty-three

  One of Griffen’s oddities since leaving college life behind in Michigan and beginning a dragon’s life down in New Orleans was that he simply did not own an alarm clock. It was a trivial thing, something he rarely noticed and never commented upon. His sleep schedule was open, and if he ever needed to set an alarm, there was always his cell phone.

  In fact, the cell phone was often his wake-up call, whether he set it or not. The loud buzz of an incoming call was the first thing he heard on any given morning. It never failed to annoy him.

  This morning was no exception. The phone yanked Griffen out of a deep sleep, the kind of truly black nothing-ness that comes before the real dreams start. He jerked upright with a gasp, lunging for the phone. The bedside table still showed faint gouges from similar surprise wakings, but Griffen was learning to control his reflexes.

  He popped open the lid of his phone and saw just why he felt so startled and groggy all at once. He had gotten a generous four hours of sleep.

  “Mr. McCandles, we gots some big problems down here.”

  “Slim…”

  Griffen recognized the voice through the haze of sleep and shook his head, trying to clear it more. Not quite tracking, he said the first thing that came into his head.

  “Isn’t it time you started calling me Griffen?”

  “Well… let’s just wait till after this here meet is done with. Might feel different ’bout that by then. We got problems,” Slim said.

  Griffen was already up and getting dressed.

  “It’s nine in the morning, Slim,” Griffen said, voice slightly muffled as he pulled on his shirt.

  “Sorry ’bout that, but not every attendee is quite as nocturnal as you. Be glad it ain’t a normal convention, or you’d have to get here every day by now.”

  “Right. I’ll try to remember to be more thankful that these aren’t ‘normal’ conventioneers.”

  Despite his sarcasm, a wry smile pulled at his lips. As troublesome as it might be, at least his life wasn’t boring. He hurried out the door, cell phone still pressed to his ear.

  “Fill me in while I’m on my way,” Griffen said, heading out the security gate and onto the street.

  “Sure thing, but not the Sonesta. The problem is in the garous’ hotel room.”

  Griffen quickly changed his course, taking a right at the first street he came to.

  “The Best Western? Up on Rampart right?”

  “Right, which may or may not be a helpfulness. Anyways, I’m headin’ up there myself, so you might beat me. Just head on up to the room. They is waitin’,” said Slim.

  “Okay, but you still haven’t told me just what is going on.” Rampart was only a few blocks away, but a few blocks on hurried feet without proper sleep or anything resembling breakfast seemed to drag on forever. Griffen kept his strides long and fast, but didn’t run. He had learned the hard way that running through the Quarter was great fodder for the local rumor mills.

  The last time he had just been trying to pick up a snack at the A&P during a commercial break. By nightfall he had gotten a full barrage of everything from jokes about his taking up jogging to whispers that he had been running from someone. He didn’t even want to think about what would spring up if he ran and looked worried at the same time.

  Slim clicked his tongue. “I don’t quite have all the details. Got a panic call from one of the lesser wolves. They all sharin’ a couple of adjoining rooms there and he heard a snarl and sounds of a fight in the john.”

  “Is that all?” Griffen asked.

  “Well… he opened the door and said their leader had been attacked. By some ‘thing’ he said,” Slim added.

  “Umm? ‘Thing’?”

  “Yeah, here’s where it gets garbled. Couldn’t put together ’nough words for me to have a clue what he found in there.”

  Griffen started to slow his pace to a normal walking speed.

  “Slim, that doesn’t exactly sound like an emergency. By the time we get there, whatever fight happened will be well over.”

  “Yep, you right ’bout that. Fact it was over when the kid opened the door. He just too far out of his depth not to yelp for help,” Slim said.

  Griffen again noticed a bit of the disdain in Slim’s tone that he and the other animal-control people had for the shape-shifters. He didn’t have the time and patience just then to question it again.

  “So why are we running over there?” Griffen said.

  He didn’t say, tempting though it was, why the hell did you wake me?

  “ ’Cause, the critter is still there.”

  Griffen stumbled over the uneven sidewalk and almost fell. He stared at his phone for a moment.

  “Right…” Griffen said, petty objections instantly fading. “Be there in five minutes.”

  He closed his phone and took off at a faster pace. He would deal with the rumor mill later.

  * * *

  The Best Western was not by any means a high-end hotel by New Orleans standards. However, it was fairly cheap, clean, and could officially boast being inside the Quarter, even though it was on the very edge. Needless to say, Griffen didn’t have any problems just walking in and heading up to the third floor. In fact, he hadn’t even seen anyone behind the counter.

  Slim had beaten him after all, and stood in the hall outside the room with one of the younger shape-shifters Griffen had seen at the conclave. He had never heard the young man speak. Like most of the lesser members attending, he deferred to his particular leader.

  Slim was talking to him.

  “Now, you stay out here like I tol’ you. No one, and I mean no one, comes in till me or Moderator McCandles says so.”

  The young man simply nodded and crossed his arms over his chest. He looked tough, on guard, enough that Griffen had little worry that anyone would try to push past him. Still, Griffen could see the relief in his eyes. It was obvious he didn’t want to go back into the room, and Slim had come up with a good way to save face from outside.

  Slim winked at Griffen and walked over to him. His expression made it clear that he caught the kid’s relief, too.

  “You ready to face the unknown, Moderator?” Slim said nodding to the door.

  “Doesn’t look like I have much of a choice,” Griffen observed.

  “Good. ’Cause I can’ts wait to see what gots the pup all riled like.”

  Slim grinned and opened the door. Griffen had no problem with letting him go in first. The bathroom door was open, but from the entranceway Griffen couldn’t see inside. He did hear the young wolf whimper slightly as he passed.

  Griffen carefully closed the hall door before moving forward.

  Before he took another step, a wave of stench rolled over him with almost physical force. It made him think of stagnant water and a men’s urinal that hadn’t been cleaned in years. He didn’t know for sure, but assuming garou had more acute senses of smell than most people, he understood more why one wouldn’t want to come back in the room after getting out.

  Then he could see into the bathroom, and he couldn’t stop himself from staring.

  Slim, standing next to him and staring just as openly, said it best.

  “Sheee-iiit.”

  The figure in the bathroom was big, a good seven feet if it stood up straight, but it was h
unched over, its posture ape-like. It seemed to be made completely of plant matter. A swirling mass of bark and vines and moss mimicked skin. Grasslike hair spread in a lawn halfway down its back. Each piece of vegetation seeming to writhe of its own accord. It was constantly in motion even while hulking there. Algae spread over its chest bubbled slightly as it breathed.

  Griffen couldn’t help noticing it had mushrooms growing between its toes.

  “What is it?” Griffen asked.

  “I don’ have a single clue. Somethin’ local, I think. Heard ’bout somethin’ similar. A spirit of the swamps,” Slim said.

  “Somehow I don’t think spirit fits. Anything that smells that bad has to be mostly corporeal,” Griffen said, trying to fight off shock with humor.

  Slim half started to smile. Then the street entertainer saw the body crumpled next to the toilet. It was the garou leader, his clothes ripped and a large green splotch marring the top of his head. He wasn’t moving.

  Slim rushed forward.

  The creature straightened, head brushing the ceiling and leaving a green smear. It swelled up menacingly.

  Griffen put a hand on Slim’s shoulder and stopped him. “Ease down, Slim,” he said, keeping his eyes locked on the imposing figure.

  “Are you nuts? Look how bad that monster beat him. The man might be dead,” Slim said.

  “Funny you caring, Slim, but look again. The clothes are ripped only at the seams. I think our friend here is only responsible for the clout to the head. I take it an unconscious shifter reverts back to their natural form?” Griffen said.

  “Some yes, some no. The garou and werewolves are said to,” Slim said grudgingly.

  “I think he saw… this, and panicked. Started to shift, not thinking about what it might do to his outfit, and the creature reacted, just as it was about to react to your rush.”

  Griffen finally released Slim’s shoulder. He hadn’t taken his eyes off the apparition in front of him. It had no eyes, but there were two dark blue flowers on what was passing for its head. Griffen got the distinct impression that they were watching him, appraising him.

  Slim’s glance at Griffen was awfully appraising, too. “Damn, I heard dragons was fast thinkers,” Slim said.

  Griffen would have responded, but the creature settled down and went back to its more relaxed slump. A deep gurgling built from somewhere inside. After a moment, Griffen realized that in a harsh, bubbling way it was beginning to speak.

  “Moderator… good,” it said slowly.

  “Think he means you is a good moderator, or that it’s good the moderator is here?” Slim asked.

  “Both,” the creature answered.

  Slim started, obviously having not expected an answer. Griffen could swear the fronds on the “spirit’s” face were twisting, smiling. It was disturbing and comforting all at once.

  “Waited,” it said.

  Griffen pulled up all his courage and took a step forward.

  “Waited for what? Why?” Griffen said.

  “For you… witness. Must be fair.”

  It moved slowly, a complicated procedure involving all of its seemingly separate plants. Both Griffen and Slim had to hold themselves back from reacting as it bent over the fallen garou. Griffen watched closely, waiting for any sign of violence. No matter how unknown or dangerous the thing might be, he wasn’t going to let it harm an unconscious man if he could help it.

  After a few moments it stood again. In its massive hand, it held the garou’s wallet. Griffen stared as it pulled out several large bills, then dropped the billfold next to the unconscious body. It held the bills to its chest, and they were sucked one by one into the ooze, disappearing into the depths.

  Griffen couldn’t hide the shock in his voice as pieces clicked together.

  “He owed you money!?” Griffen said.

  Massive shoulders shrugged like trees bending together in the wind.

  “It’s New Orleans,” it said in its ponderous voice.

  Slim choked back a laugh. Griffen felt more like groaning. He rubbed his palm over his eyes and his fingers against his temples. He was really going to have to think about finding some way to improve security. This could have gone much worse.

  “Look, as thankful as I am that you aren’t some slaughtering monster, you can’t leave by the front door. Even on Rampart it would get talked about,” Griffen said.

  The creature nodded, and again Griffen was almost sure it was smiling. He watched as it leaned over the sink, bent forward, and slowly slid into the drain. Pieces that Griffen were sure would be too large flowed together with slurping, sucking noises. Something about the process strained Griffen’s eyes till he had to look away. By the time he had blinked and looked back, the creature was gone, an industrial-strength ring around the sink and a few marks on floor and ceiling the only thing left to show that it had ever been there.

  Those signs, and a shape-shifter on the floor who promptly lifted up his head, apparently not so unconscious after all.

  “Is she gone?” he asked.

  “She?!” Slim and Griffen exclaimed together.

  This time Slim didn’t try to hold back his laughter. Griffen fought down the urge to throw up his hands as he marched out of the room. Before leaving, he instructed the young shifter to find a mop and clean up.

  He could just see this bunch leaving things for the hotel’s maid staff.

  Thirty-four

  Mai had been thinking. Of course, she was always thinking, but a particular train of thought had captivated her attention. She had been thinking about faces.

  Faces. She presented so many different ones to different people. Lover and confidante, unnoticed power, old enemy. She was all of these and more, depending on the situation, and the people involved. That was part of the great game that she truly loved. The many different and varied roles one had to play. Some false, some second nature, some true nature.

  Some more honest than others.

  There was one face, one role, that she had been slacking off on lately, an unexpected role that she had slipped into without realizing, one that she found fitted her better than she would ever have guessed. As soon as she realized how little she had played it lately, she knew it was time to take it up again. Decision made, she made her plans and found herself at Valerie’s apartment door early one afternoon.

  It was time to be a friend.

  She flung the door open dramatically, standing straight and tall and looking as authoritative as possible. Knowing that if the door was unlocked Valerie was in, and probably doing nothing more than watching TV on her couch. Sure enough, Val looked up from the couch, startled by the entrance.

  “Get up. We are going shopping,” Mai declared.

  She knew that statement to Val was even more random and surprising than her sudden entrance. Sure enough, the other dragon gave her head a shake and stuck one finger in her ear as if to clear it.

  “Say that again slow.”

  Mai grinned, letting herself relax.

  “I mean it. You are turning into a lump. All you seem to do lately is work, work out, worry about your brother, and pretend nothing is going on in your own life.”

  Val smiled a bit, shock wearing off, and ticked Mai’s list off on her own fingers.

  “Seems like a full docket to me,” she said.

  “Shows what you know. I’m bored and thus declare a day of shopping, bonding, and associated madness. Come along nicely, and no one gets hurt.”

  “So, you are bored, and I get dragged along for the ride.” Mai faked a gasp.

  “You impugn my intentions? This is all for you. Suck it up, girl, and I’ll bring along Daddy’s credit card to salve your wounds.”

  Val smiled more. Mai enjoyed bantering with Val; they both knew it meant both more and less than it seemed to.

  “Daddy, huh?” Val said.

  “Well… someone’s daddy certainly. You know I must protect my sources.”

  “Spy.”

  “Lump.”

&
nbsp; Val threw her hands up in surrender and got to her feet. Mai stepped into the apartment and let the door close behind her.

  “Go get dressed and off we go,” Mai said.

  Val looked down at herself, and Mai could practically hear the old discussion popping up. Not that there was anything wrong with that. It was a familiar and fun one. Mai simply would never understand Val’s sense of fashion, or lack thereof. For such an attractive woman, she seemed to do her best to hide it. Even alone in her apartment, Mai would never be caught dead in sweats. Sweats that didn’t even match.

  “I am dressed, Short Stack.”

  “No, Gigantia, you are clothed. Not the same thing.”

  Val rolled her eyes and stomped melodramatically off to her room to change. Mai had to hand it to her, when she wanted to stomp, she stomped. Mai eased into an easy chair to wait, a small smile on her face.

  A friend! Who would have thought it?

  Two hours and half a dozen shops later, the two and a small mountain of bags were in a small boutique on Royal looking at hats. It didn’t matter that neither one ever wore hats, or that hats in general were very much out of style for anyone who looked under forty. Practicality had little to do with a shopping day.

  Usually most of the bags would have been Mai’s, but there was something infectious about Mai when she really got going. Plus, since she was mildly irritated by Val’s reluctance to spend on herself, she often snatched items that Val liked and paid for them while the other was still in the changing room. Or slipped the clerk her card, so that when Val’s pride demanded she “pay her own way” she would find it already covered. Even friends could get caught up in power games.

  Mostly, though, this was giving them time to catch up and talk. Mai started on safe topics, Val’s work mainly. Then steered the conversation slowly to where she was interested. At the moment, while fingering a feathered monstrosity she couldn’t imagine anyone would actually put on her head, she was telling Val how Griffen had managed to get caught up with both her and Fox Lisa.

  “Really?” Val said, laughing. “Strip pai gow?”