The Last Closet_The Dark Side of Avalon

by Moira Greyland

  How can a high-IQ person be stupid? One reason is a cognitive bias common to high-IQ people: the notion that because one is intelligent, everything one says and thinks is intelligent despite one’s ignorance on any topic one has not studied. My opinions on math or physics are totally meaningless because of my lack of knowledge about them. However, many high-IQ people cannot admit their ignorance even if it is glaringly obvious to others.

  The other reason is that many disciplines require a great deal of, well, discipline. Where my father developed astonishing pianistic skills in very little time, and his photographic memory was phenomenal, abilities like this are more commonly found in an idiot savant than in the average high-IQ person. Developing a skillset or a knowledge base requires time, time, time, and a lot of study, and there are no shortcuts. Even if one has unusual sensitivity and perceptive skills, a tremendous amount of knowledge and practice goes into being an authority on any field. Simply having a high IQ guarantees nothing but itself.

  Sometimes a high-IQ person who does one thing very well will assume that the other things they can do must be equally amazing. I know a person in Prometheus who translates novels between four languages, but his poetry is repulsive, and a person in Triple 9 who writes boring music. Of course, it is unusual to be able to write music at all, let alone good music, and ditto for poetry. After all, we can always improve if we do not need to view ourselves as perfect the first time out. My mother used to say that one’s first million words are crap so one might as well get them out of the way.

  I have met wonderful, brilliant people in all the high-IQ societies, as well as a few dangerous, scary individuals since high-IQ is not limited to those of good character. And yes, often the dangerous, scary ones were the wonderful, brilliant ones. I really doubt that my mother had any idea that she would be finding not only a polymath genius, but a dedicated sexual criminal who would systematically deceive and betray her even though she cooperated with every aspect of his life and his philosophy. I doubt my father thought the loving woman he found would be psychotic and violent, and would tyrannize him for their entire life together.

  Some high-IQ types do not have any accomplishments at all, and some have many. There is far more to creativity and good conversation than intelligence, even if there is a much better chance in Mensa of meeting the kind of people you would not find in a supermarket. It makes sense both to seek a tribe in Mensa if you think you need it, and then to abandon it when it ceases to meet your needs. Depending on your abilities, Mensa can be fun, or it can be frustrating. Naturally, the things one finds in Mensa can be found in all counterculture societies since the one thing all counterculture societies have in common is their discomfort with normal life.

  My mother and father made quite a spectacle together. My mother and father both took pains to look like stereotypical Berkeley hippies: my father would wear Birkenstock sandals, flower-printed shorts. and tie-dyed shirts. He also wore dashikis, or African-printed shirts. The “formality” of an event made no difference to him. He despised suits and ties. She wore baggy clothing to hide her weight and strove to look as though she was completely unaware of her appearance. She never wore makeup and would have been outraged if someone suggested it.

  When my mother met my father, she was still married to her first husband Brad. To her great annoyance, he refused to give my mother a divorce. Back in those days, divorce required the consent of the husband. Like a proper feminist, my mother forced the issue. She told Brad she was pregnant, knowing that he absolutely refused to support another child. She said that if he denied her a divorce she would drag him into court, swear the child was his, and force him to support it. Brad gave in and gave her the divorce she wanted, and even had the decency to die just a few years later.

  They were deeply in love and were so in tune with one another that they would buy each other the same books and musical recordings as presents as they followed their wealth of common interests together. They loved to play “Name That Tune” while listening to the classical music stations KKHI and KDFC, which were always on. He played the piano, and she sang. They talked for hours about absolutely everything. They had read many of the same books and loved many of the same authors. Both knew mythology, history, and the classics well. He wrote, and she wrote. He proofread her work and offered editorial suggestions. These wonderful aspects of their relationship continued for decades.

  Chapter 4: The World’s Weirdest Engagement (1963)

  Mother stands for comfort.

  Mother will hide the murderer.

  Mother hides the madman.

  Mother will stay mum.

  —Kate Bush

  When my mother and father were preparing to move in together and get married, there was a scandal in the science fiction community about my father’s sexual abuse of approximately ten children. These were not idle rumors but overt, public acts with many witnesses. Some people were concerned that my mother would abandon him if she found out, and some hated him and wanted him gone while still others hoped she would civilize him.

  My mother chose to defend him, both at the time and in her sworn testimony in 1999. She knew exactly what he was doing.

  I have mentioned fanzines before: newsletters written and mailed within the science fiction community. Fanzines were the primary way that people in science fiction communicated with one another other back when there was no Internet. One of these included a long article about my father’s conduct, written by Bill Donaho.

  I have included this article below, edited to remove in-jokes, repetition, and some things that would have only made sense to the people directly involved. Be warned that it is sexually graphic and more than a little upsetting to read; the original text appears in its entirety in an appendix.

  THE GREAT BREEN BOONDOGGLE OR ALL BERKELEY IS PLUNGED INTO WAR, circa 1963, From a fanzine article by Bill Donaho. Synopsized by MGP.

  Should Walter Breen be banned from fandom and Worldcon (Pacificon II) because he is harming children? Author Bill Donaho asked a wide group of friends for advice. Controversy followed: some people dispute banning anyone, some people feared liability if Walter committed a crime, and at the end, he was banned from attending one Worldcon convention: Pacificon II.

  From the first day Walter arrived in Berkeley, he was known to be a homosexual, even before his own words, chosen appearance, and conduct confirmed it. Nobody cared about that at all: consenting adults and all that. Because fandom is a culture of misfits, abnormal, even dangerous behavior is accepted.

  Walter’s conduct was so bad that it called the culture of sexual tolerance into question: many people thought “consenting adults” should not include toddlers. Many wanted something done about it, but nobody wanted to call the cops.

  A few people hated Walter, even those who had many other homosexual friends. They thought Walter was different. A few refused to associate with him, even threatening violence if he came too close.

  Walter’s victims included a girl, age 3, a boy, age 13, another boy named Glenn, [later referred to as Glenn Frendel] age 10, and a boy known as G2, age 7, as well as several other nameless teenagers, both male and female.

  At a fan meeting, a mother found her 13 year old son in bed with Walter, who had his arm around him as they watched TV. After that, she instructed the children to barricade themselves behind furniture in their room if Walter ever came back. She wanted him banned from her house, but other people didn’t want to ban anyone.

  Walter molested the 3 year old girl in public, more than once. She had been trained to strip when she saw him. He would “rub her down.” He also used a pencil, rubbing the eraser back and forth in the general area of the vagina, not quite masturbating her. People, including her parents, objected. Nobody thought she was hurt, because of her age.

  Later, Walter acted surprised that people were upset about this, and said “But why didn’t somebody say something! I wouldn’t have dreamed of doing it if I’d thought someone objected.” There were fears that Walter
would continue this as the little girl got older. Eventually, her mother objected.

  Walter gave a bicycle to a boy named Glenn that he was having an active sexual relationship with. He quipped “One gear for each position.” Once he and Glenn had been sitting on a couch, and a fan walked in on them, surprising Walter into dashing into the bathroom, clutching his open fly. At least three other fans reported glowing descriptions of sex with Glenn given to them by Walter. “Glenn and I began with mutual masturbation and worked up to 69. Then Glenn wanted to try buggering me, so I let him. Then I buggered him.”

  People found this more shocking than amusing. However, nobody liked Glenn, and thought “Who cares what happens to the little bastard?” Others felt that Glenn was not likable because he had a difficult home life and that Walter was not good for him.

  Walter was also seeing a 7 year old boy: G2. His mother’s boyfriend Danny warned Walter away, but the kid would sneak off to see Walter, to his delight. Walter said Danny had “betrayed” him, even though they had never been friends. Danny thought “If anyone who has a kid lets Walter even speak to it, he should have his head examined.” Most people agreed with this.

  Walter claims “I never even *seduce* a teen-ager. The kids *always* seduce me!” Maybe. But one teenaged boy, who left after the first day of a week-long visit with Walter said “Walter *may* always be the one who’s seduced, but he makes it goddamn clear he’s available.”

  Walter’s recent behavior has been getting many Berkeley parents not just alarmed, but semi-hysterical. If Walter is in the same room with a boy, he never takes his eyes off him. If the kid goes to the bathroom, Walter gets up and follows him. He answered complaints with his same “If I had the least idea anyone objected” story. Knowing Walter, I can believe that he was oblivious to the signs of strong objections.

  People hoped that his impending marriage to Marion Zimmer Bradley would change him, thinking: “Maybe she’ll reform him. He may have had mistresses before, but he’s never been fully committed to a woman. Besides, maybe she’ll keep him so busy he won’t have time for other outlets.” Most of us think this is unrealistic: change comes only when it is wanted, and Walter is extremely satisfied with himself as he is. The other position is “It’ll only be a short time until she comes to her senses. Obviously she knows about Walter and accepts him, but let’s see what happens to tolerance-in-theory when he starts making passes at her 12-year-old son.”

  Many people think Walter is dangerous to children: he has stated himself that he has had sexual relations with children of both sexes and multiple ages. Others are not sure if Walter is actually hurting the kids. Also, while Walter can evidently be most tender and loving when he wants to, he has behaved brutally to some of his lovers after he has tired of them. He has stated that he has had sex with young teen-age girls without using contraceptives.

  So, Walter is dangerous to children. Everyone should have a certain amount of social responsibility, and I would be a coward if I did not at least TRY to do something about the danger Walter represents. Some people want to have Walter committed. I want to surgically separate Walter from fandom.

  How could a strong, independent woman like my mother, a woman who had been raped by her own father, ever tolerate being with a child molester like Walter Breen? Some people would like to believe that she did not know about her husband’s behavior, but her sworn testimony makes it very clear that she did know about it. She simply didn’t object. Here is a portion of my mother’s deposition:

  “MR. DOLAN: Did you ever publicly defend Walter in terms of his not being a pedophile?

  MZB. Yes, I did.

  MR. DOLAN: And was that during the “Boondoggle”?

  MZB. Yes.

  MR. DOLAN: Can you tell me why you would publicly state that Walter was not a pedophile when you knew that he had been having sex with a minor child?

  MZB. Because, as I said, [Glenn Frendel] did not impress me as a minor child. He was late in his teens, and I considered him—I think he would have been old enough to be married in this state legally, so I figured what he did sexually was his own business.”

  And

  MR. DOLAN: (Attorney). Did you know that he had a relationship with [Glenn Frendel]?

  MZB. I became aware of it, yes.

  MR. DOLAN: When did you become aware of it?

  MZB. Shortly after we were married. At that time I treated [Glenn Frendel] like one of my own children. He and my son David used to go swimming together and such.

  MR. DOLAN: And to your knowledge, how old was [Glenn Frendel] when your husband was having a sexual relationship with him?

  MZB. I think he was about 14 or possibly 15. I’m not certain.

  MR. DOLAN: And what did he tell you?

  MZB. Well, he told me that he and [Glenn Frendel] were sleeping together. And I said that I had believed that was an intellectual position. He told me it was not. I was very upset.

  MR. DOLAN: What else did Walter tell you on the subject of his relationship with [Glenn Frendel]?

  MZB. I know that he gave him a bicycle.

  MR. DOLAN: When did he give him the bicycle?

  MZB. It was before I had come to live with him.

  MR. DOLAN: Did you ever talk to the police about a sexual relationship between Walter and [Glenn Frendel]?

  MZB. I don’t remember. I know that I talked to a lawyer Walter had at the time.

  MR. DOLAN: Can you tell me the context of your conversation, please?

  MZB. Largely that I had heard that [mother of Glenn Frendel] had said that she had nothing to complain about in [Glenn Frendel]’s relationship with Walter. And I thought that, well, because [Glenn Frendel] would come—he had been accused of stealing milk out of refrigerators, and he would come to dinner with us, and he obviously hadn’t eaten for a long time.

  MR. DOLAN: How did you hear that [mother of Glenn Frendel] had no complaints about the sexual relationship between your husband and her minor child?

  MZB. She told me.

  MR. DOLAN: And when did you speak with her about this?

  MZB. It was, as I say, shortly after we were married.

  MR. DOLAN: And what was the nature of the conversation with [mother of Glenn Frendel] regarding your husband’s sexual interactions with her son?

  MZB. I don’t remember that we spent any time on it. Mostly she was telling me that I was not a good writer, that I was a commercial hack, and that she was a great and artistic poet. I told her that at least I could feed my kids on what I did, and that if she had kids to feed, she’d probably do it too or—that is, write commercially.

  MR. DOLAN: What about the subject matter between the sex of your husband and her son did you discuss that led you to believe that she had no complaint about this sexual relationship?

  MZB. I think what she said almost exactly was “I find nothing to complain about,” but I can’t remember exactly. That was, I think, about 25 or 30 years ago.”

  There you have it. She knew. She had always known.

  While it might be admirable that Marion fed Glenn and allowed him stay in their home, it was outrageous that she went along with my father sodomizing him. It was equally outrageous that the biggest concern she reveals in her testimony was the offense she took at being called a commercial hack, not the fact that Glenn’s mother was not properly caring for her son or that her husband was molesting the young man.

  Marion and Walter were married on Valentine’s Day in 1964. Like good flower children, they bought my mother’s ring at the dime store. I never saw either one of them ever wear a wedding ring. They both habitually mocked and derided marriage, and called it “an outdated screwing license.” There was never any point in their relationship where Walter intended any form of sexual exclusivity for either of them, although I know Marion would have preferred it.

  Chapter 5: My Father’s Grand Vision (1962–1964)

  “I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London,

  that a young heal
thy child well nursed, is, at a year old, a most delicious nourishing

  and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled…”

  —Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal

  My father’s Grand Vision was only a little less soulless and bizarre than the ideas found in Swift’s famous satire. The difference is that Walter was entirely serious. My father believed that the best, most intimate way to express love to children—to everyone—was to have sex with them. In his mind, sex was love, and any effort to separate love and sex was a consequence of limited thinking. Since love is best expressed by sex, everyone should have sex with all people all the time. He believed that the practice of unlimited sex would bring about a utopia that would end all the ills of human society.

  But sex is not love, it is not parenting, and it is not nurturing. It is also not friendship, it often does not reflect any actual connection between two people, and it can be experienced in very different ways by the people involved.

  Unlimited sex does not make society whole. It makes a home an empty place because the one thing sex does do is to catalyze a relationship into “consider pair-bond,” “sex only” or “leave now.” In the case of a child—who cannot choose—none of those three possibilities is workable, healthy, or safe; it means that the child is exposed to an adult situation which they can neither control nor avoid and where the adult might choose any of the top three the child can only choose from two: cope somehow or protest.

  There are many reasons children elect to cope with abuse instead of protesting it. They may be escaping from something worse, or legitimately fear the punishment which will come if they defy an adult by protesting.