by Cherry Kay
He hesitated for a brief moment. I could tell he was contemplating whether or not he should. And as I waited, I decided to bribe him like I did my four year old. “There’s cookies,” I said. “Freshly baked.”
He smiled then, that lonesome smile of rarity. I couldn’t tell whether there was something bothering him, or whether that sexy tortured look was just a dark part of his personality. But I suppose it didn’t matter since it suited him quite well.
He stepped inside now and began to remove his shoes.
I looked at him. “You’re not one for words, are you,” I declared, proud of my astute observation.
He walked closer to me and leaned in, his breath betraying the scent of mint. “Only for the right words,” he enticed.
Of course he was used to handling women. I should’ve known that from how his receptionist would’ve bent down on her knees to get it from him. Would he have the same effect on me as well? I didn’t want him to think he had the upper hand in things, but seeing as I had just invited him in my home, I was pretty sure he was winning at the moment.
“I think we’ll be more comfortable in the living room,” I smiled flirtatiously against my better judgment. It was something I couldn’t help at the moment.
It had been so long since I had thought about anyone but my daughter. She was my all and my life now. Sex and men were out of the question for a while. I didn’t want to wrap myself up in something I couldn’t fully carry through, but this dashing hunk of a man was giving my resolve a run for its money. Even at night I couldn’t escape him lurking in my dreams. And the idea of toying with him made my insides squirm with nerves and excitement. This was not supposed to be happening.
We made our way to the living room with the fireplace already dancing away the night’s cool chill. There were two plush couches in the middle of the room and a single coffee table between them. They were tan in color, but the fire made them reflect almost a burnt orange.
As he sat down rather graciously, I debated running upstairs and changing into something more appropriate for company. I really didn’t want to come off as a try-hard, but the comfy clothes I was in right now just didn’t quite appeal to the occasion. Thus I excused myself and ran up the stairs to change into something a little sexier.
Facing the large walk-in closet, I suddenly felt overwhelmed. What kind of clothes did he prefer on women? Did he like plain and simple or something revealing? This was truly the one dilemma I was pretty sure all females could associate with when trying to impress any male suitor. In all totality, the men probably didn’t really give a care as to what we wore. Besides, I wasn’t really trying to impress him. I was merely trying to look more presentable for company, or so I kept telling myself.
After all the debating, I chose a simple black dress that cut just a smidgen lower on my bosoms, but nothing too flashy and revealing. I wanted him to think of me as classy, not slutty. If he had already formed an opinion about me from the beginning then it honestly didn’t matter.
Passing that long tall mirror I gazed into it and sighed. My ass was definitely an attribute to my thick curvy legs, displaying itself proudly in the loose skirt of the dress. I didn’t even have to try that hard to make myself sexually appealing.
What was Smith’s ideal woman? I contemplated on his mannerisms and how he conducted himself. Smith appeared to be the kind of man to enjoy a challenge. And the idea of making him work for me made me squirm just a little inside. It had been a while since I played the game. Could it be that the young girl deep down inside was threatening to break loose? God, it would feel so great to be totally myself again and forget the worries weighing down upon my adult life.
Alive and determined, I made my way back downstairs to see Hope sitting opposite Smith on the couch. She was studying him hard, with the intentions of an innocent child. The corners of her mouth were creased and she had both hands clasped between her legs, which barely dangled over the edge of the couch. Being so small it almost seemed to swallow her up.
He turned his head back towards me, obviously noting the change in my appearance. He smirked slightly, but other than that his expression didn’t alter.
Hope patted the seat next to her. “Come sit here, mommy.” She smiled, the concentration gone from her face only to be replaced with deep dimples.
She waited for me to make my way over before she started babbling as most three year olds do. “James says you can hear Santa Claus’ reindeer on the roof if you listen hard enough.” The excitement in her voice rang out like jingle bells. “Have you heard them, mommy?” She looked up at me expectantly, her white teeth flashing with a large grin.
I cast a glance at Smith who inadvertently shrugged while hiding a smirk. However, there was a deep twinkle in his eye that he couldn’t hide. He was doing his best to blend in and it was working. Little Hope was all smiles at the moment, and I was glad for that. It wasn’t every day that I brought a strange man into our home. As a matter of fact, I hardly ever let men inside that we barely knew.
“Really,” I pretended to seem excited. “Of course, sweetie. Rudolph makes the most noise on the rooftop when he lands. And Santa Claus is so fat that he makes even more noise.” I patted her head and looked back at him, my daughter’s giggles ringing out. “But enough of Santa, he’ll be here soon. It is your bedtime and you have a busy day tomorrow.”
I stood up and coaxed her up. Directing my attention to Smith I said, “I’ll only be a minute. I just need to tuck her in bed.”
He nodded. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll be here.”
Waltzing upstairs I tucked my daughter in bed and turned on the night light. Her room was next to mine which I discovered made her feel better about sleeping alone at night. She was so good about that. She rarely got up in the middle of the night anymore. When she did it was for a good reason.
“Is she asleep,” he asked upon my return. The air was starting to grow chill from an oncoming cold front.
“It’s a possibility,” I said sitting down on the sofa across from him. My legs were closed tightly together to keep from displaying my panties to the world.
I suddenly felt awkward. I didn’t quite know what to say to him or how to act. There was a part of me that wanted to be the bold sexy girl I once was, but how was I supposed to bring her out? I could barely look him straight in the eyes for longer than a second before feeling my cheeks grow hot. And I didn’t want him to notice so I would find something else to focus on in hopes that nothing would be given away. Gosh it was horrible!
So I played with a random fray in one of the pillows near my lap. Never had I concentrated on a pillow so hard before, yet I was so self-conscious. What was he thinking of me right now? Why did he really come over, certainly not for meaningless prattle? Men like Smith had it all, and usually wouldn’t waste time on something if they didn’t have a reason for it. This was something I knew already.
Then he spoke up. Thank God he broke the silence! I was about to explode inside from sheer nervousness.
“Would you like to go out for a drink?” It was a simple question, but it was something.
I looked up at him, a million questions suddenly racing in my mind. “Sure,” I accepted without thinking further.
I regretted it immediately. How could I go out and leave Hope by herself at night?
Biting my lip I shook my head, to contradict my sudden agreement. “I can’t. I forgot I need a babysitter.” The words came out as obvious disappointment. Was I this horrible at this? I accepted so quickly without even a second thought. I needed to stop doing that or he would quit being interested…if he even was. Perhaps that wasn’t the general idea at all. But if not, what the hell was going on?
He looked at me intensely, sitting up straight and towards the edge of the couch. “Call someone,” he suggested after looking at his watch. “It’s only seven o’ clock. I’m sure you can find someone.”
Suddenly my curiosity was too far gone for me to even care. “Why are you really here, Jam
es?” I needed to know what the deal was with him before I made any further decisions on where I wanted this to go. Especially on behalf of my child who was asleep in the other room, I needed to know what exactly his motives were.
The look of surprise on his face flashed briefly. “I’ll cut you a deal, Miss Ivy,” the politeness exuded his words. “You agree to go out with me only tonight and I promise you’ll understand what I’m doing here.”
I gave him a skeptical stare-down as the choices floated in the air before me. What this handsome, bold, and obviously wealthy man was up to, I couldn’t tell. The real question was would it truly hurt to go out and have fun for one night in my life? Maybe I could forget about all of my parental responsibilities for just a few short hours and enjoy myself as any young woman my age should. The idea was tempting and almost irresistible.
He stood up and strode towards me, barely taking the few steps with how long his legs were. He was quite tall as he formidably stood towering over my sitting form. “You don’t have to think about it. Just say yes,” He coaxed with a muscular outstretched hand. “I promise a good time.”
A chill played down my arms and legs from the idea. The notion of a good time was something that scared, and thrilled me all at the same time. I really wanted to say yes to him , especially when my nose caught a waft of his delicious cologne. If he smelled this good there was no doubt about the rest of him. My head almost spun with the intoxicating scent and the entrancing pull of his eyes. I couldn’t respond from the way the energy of his presence consumed me, eating me alive in a will of its own.
“Don’t fight it,” he remarked with an air of cockiness. His dirty blonde hair danced with shadows from the fireplace in a rather enticing manner.
Two things were evident. First off, he spent a lot of money on manicures by how clean and shapely his nails were. Second, it was clear that James was used to getting his way with females by the way he carried himself. There wasn’t an ounce of low self-esteem in that sturdy vessel of a man. Despite the fact that things were plainly discernible, I couldn’t bring myself to budge against it.
“I’ll call my sister over for the night,” I murmured while shying away from his gaze. I took his hand and let him help me up, my dark skin melting in his fair paleness. Such a contrast between us almost made me feel like an exotic goddess. With the touch of his skin I felt that familiar buzz deep in my stomach. I was missing something, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. He totally eluded me in every which way. I tried to conjure a memory of where I might know him from. It was another reason why was accepting his invitation.
On the contrary, what excited me the most was that the night was still young. This daunting, mysterious man just might be the perfect distraction to tear me away from my own sea of drowning.
Chapter 5
In the few hours I learned some new things about the man named Smith. His driving utterly petrified me beyond belief, weaving in and out of traffic with absolute terrifying precision. When I commented on it, he merely said that I agreed to get in the car with him. That cocky ass of an attitude was a huge turn off, and yet at the same time it was one of the reasons I couldn’t get myself to say no. My insides were in constant turmoil against my better judgment . And the way he looked at me, as if I were divine and to be conquered was extremely erotic. Perhaps I was being played, but in the moment I couldn’t care less.
Everything went rather smoothly, almost to the point of dull at first. We walked to a coffee shop and grabbed a steaming cup of cappuccino. Of course, Smith insisted on paying for me despite my protests. That was just something I was used to doing…taking care of myself. I didn’t like depending on anyone except my close family, but this strange daunting young man wouldn’t take no for an answer.
But as the night drove on, our conversation took a dive.
“You know,” he said as we walked down the busy streets of Atlanta. We didn’t have any general destination in mind. We just walked. “I’ve thought about you for so many years now,” he said.
I stared at him, perplexed as to what he was talking about. “What are you talking about? You just met me,” I retorted, taking a sip from my steaming cup.
He shook his head. “You’re not at all how I remembered you to be. I’m kind of relieved and disappointed all at the same time.” Then he walked to a nearby trash can and tossed his cup in before returning to walk beside me. He held his shoulders square and strong, his large solid back showing beneath the vest and shirt he wore.
The air had grown cold from the front that was moving in rather viciously. Even my ears and nose were burning a little from the constant nagging, as I wracked my brain to place him. I knew he was familiar, but in all honesty there wasn’t a single memory linking him to anything.
He sighed with disapproval from my lack of reaction. “Never mind, just forget what I said. It really doesn’t matter all that much.”
I jumped inside. “No, I really want to know. You promised to come clean if I went with you.”
He laughed dryly. It was probably the first time I had heard him truly laugh. Somehow I knew it was not out of good humor, since his face remained riddled with sarcasm. “Do you want to go to a party tonight?”
I crossed my arms. “Why would I want to go to a party with you when you can’t even keep your damn word,” my tone flaring with my temper.
Suddenly he stopped in his path and turned around, leaning his face towards mine. I could feel his breath on my cold skin. It was pleasantly warm. And the fact that his face was barely a few centimeters from mine made my body grow numb in anticipation. How badly I wanted him to kiss me. But what if it really did happen? I couldn’t let him. I shouldn’t. This was just another part of his power trip to get me to submit.
His eyes lit up from my reaction as I held my breath. “Because you need a break from playing mommy and I need a good time. I can remind you what it’s like to feel free again. Just for tonight,” he said, reaching up a hand to brush my cheek with his fingertips.
Now I felt hot as the realization of what he was insinuating brought me to grips with his true intentions. I was just another girl on his list of trophies, but my weakness as a woman showed plainly. He knew my dreams and where I would cave. In a way it made me angry that I showed my desperation so plainly. How could I have been so stupid to think that maybe there was something else waiting for me? I accepted a date with a man I barely knew.
But as the seconds ticked by and his breath filled my nose, I began to drift into the memories of dreams past. How sexy and thrilling it had been to taste those lips, even if my mind had dreamt it all up. There was a deep part of me that wanted him from the moment we first met. How could I say no to such an invitation, especially if I had the chance to feel free once again? I could be sexy and thrilling. I could be alluring and driven by sex, just the same as any other young female my age.
Just for one night the tolls of motherhood could disappear and vanish in the complexities of this man’s intimidating gaze. I could lose myself in that wicked song of passion; to feel alive again and wake up the sleeping goddess deep within myself. Oh how badly my body starved for it, for a man’s lustful touch, and the penetrating kiss that would pierce any ounce of control. To let him ravish my body until there was nothing left but ecstasy and those basic primal instincts.
But did I dare…?
Backing away from me suddenly he shrugged. “That’s fine if you’re not comfortable with it.” Then he whipped out a cigarette and began to light it.
Almost before it had made it to his mouth I reacted out of pure selfishness. “Okay,” I blurted out before I could change my mind. “Just please don’t smoke around me. I’m allergic.”
It was a lie, but he seemed to debate what I was saying before putting both lighter and cigarette away. There was no way I wanted him near me if he smelled like smoke. Just the smell of it turned my stomach from how rank it was. Ugh. In my opinion it was the dirtiest habit anyone could pick up.
“Just
tonight,” I reminded him.
“Of course,” he agreed, turning us around to make our way to his car. “There will be plenty of free drinks. It’s an early Christmas party at one of the hotels just up the road.”
When we finally pulled up at the hotel twenty some odd minutes later, I took a look at what Smith called a Christmas party. There were cars worth more than my house pulling up to the valet parking with elegant couples emerging from their doors. I turned to look at Smith who was inching his way through the line of cars. “I can’t go inside looking like this!”
He viewed away from the road to take in the simple black dress I wore. “What’s wrong with what you have on?” He clearly didn’t understand my predicament.
Exasperatedly I gestured towards a woman in a long gold gown that was making her way towards the grand double doors. Her hair was twisted up in a stylish up-do. “I’m not dressed appropriately for a party like this…”
“I promise you’re fine,” he said as we made it to the uniformed man standing at the edge of the concrete steps. “Not everyone gets all dressed up like that.”
Somehow I didn’t believe him as he came around and opened the door for me, handing the young man his keys. “Not a fucking scratch,” he growled at the guy before turning to me.
I pretended to ignore his rudeness as he extended a hand towards me. “Let’s go inside,” he insisted.
The hotel was beautifully adorned and obviously intended for those who could afford it. There was a beautiful indoor pool, a large dining area, and even a room set up for dancing. Live music echoed even in the hallways farther from it, and Christmas carols could be heard throughout. But perhaps the most beautiful of all were grand chandeliers, reflecting crystal highlights upon the golden colored walls.
“Wow,” I murmured breathless. Never had I seen such luxury except on television. The parties I had always gone to were small and ornately tacky.
