consumed

by Sandra Sookoo

  “Please, my last wish is that you don’t grieve long for me. Live your life.” Not able to help himself, he pressed a gentle kiss to her mouth. “Goodbye, Ava.”

  * * * *

  Ava huddled under the blanket as she shivered in the predawn air. Her breath condensed in small puffs while she watched the man she loved walk into the middle of the yard, stark naked and unashamed. All remnants of his red hair had faded into gray. Age spots dotted his once clear skin. Tears fell onto her cheeks, dripping to the blanket, cold in the morning chill. Desperation filled her chest as her heart hammered through the very real pain. He was leaving. Nothing would ever be right again. She dug her fingers into the blanket, unable to tear her gaze away.

  You can’t let him go. He belongs to us!

  She shook her head even though her wolf couldn’t see. It’s the way of his kind. We already knew our relationship wouldn’t be forever. He told us going in.

  Ignoring her inner beast, Ava took a few steps, following him. “Sam.” A shiver wracked her body. She couldn’t control the shaking. “I’ll fall apart without you.”

  “You are stronger than that.” He turned and gave her the sexy-as-sin smile that melted her bones. Then, as he mouthed the words “my heart,” he covered that organ with his hands and glanced into the sky as flames began to dance around his body.

  Ava put a fist to her mouth, biting the blanket to stave off a scream.

  Inside the orange and red flames, Sam transformed. Brilliant red feathers covered his arms and chest. His legs morphed into bird legs, complete with sharp black talons. A long, sweeping tail sprouted from his backside while a hooked beak took the place of his nose and cheeks. Feathers filled in the rest of his skin, ranging in color from red to orange to yellow.

  As he took to the sky, circling high above the yard with his beautiful plumage on display, the flames followed him, and when they caught him, Sam in phoenix form exploded. A shower of sparks fell to the ground. The main ball of energy streaked across the sky, trailing ash and embers like a comet.

  Crying uncontrollably, Ava sank to her knees on the cold grass as despair and anger mixed through her body. “I miss him so much already.”

  I guess we’re back to just you and me.

  Even the wolf couldn’t comfort her. I’ve never been so alone.

  * * * *

  The days following Sam’s death were some of the most difficult Ava had ever lived through. Ironically, Mrs. Altier was her biggest supporter. It had been the old battleaxe dragon who had found her when she didn’t check in the day of Sam’s burning. Once Ava had shared the story, the dragon had wrapped her in a motherly embrace and just held her, rocking her back and forth as if she were a small child.

  For once in her life, Ava had been content to lean on someone else. Still stranded in 1899 Destiny, she had no idea what to do with her life. Mrs. Altier insisted Ava move back in, but relented once Ava explained that Sam had left everything to her in his will, which she’d found on his desk the next day. To make sure the document was legal, she’d brought it by the bank. After speaking with Sam’s distraught partner Jamison, and finding out the document was indeed legitimate and binding, she’d moved her clothes into Sam’s house and locked herself away for a few days.

  Thanksgiving came and went. Ava celebrated the modern holiday in bed, dozing off and on with anger and sadness as constant companions. She didn’t even care that there was no television to watch the parade or no giant retail outlets or malls to visit the day after.

  She simply didn’t care about anything. Sam had left a huge ache in her heart she didn’t know if she could ever fill. I never thought I’d miss a guy so much.

  He would have been a good husband and provider. But look at it this way: Had he lived, if you and he had produced a male child, he would have died anyway. This way, it’s only you—and me. Always the commonsense one, her wolf had no sympathy for Ava’s mourning. To the wolf mindset, mates died. It was the law of the wild. Life went on.

  Humans are a little different, wolf. We tend to get attached and the heart becomes involved. This hurt will take time to heal. Either leave me alone and shut up, or say something comforting and happy. Ava had no patience for her animal half. How could she possibly understand?

  You will get through it. In her mind, her wolf laid down. I’m here if you want to talk.

  After that, the wolf voice went silent for a few days, presumably leaving Ava to her grief.

  The question that chased around Ava’s brain almost every day was, “What do you do when the unexpected love of your life dies too soon and leaves you alone in a strange land?”

  Find a way to survive. There is no other option.

  This was her wolf’s opinion, and it mirrored what Sam had told her when they first met. Of course, they were both right. Ava couldn’t hide forever, and Sam would never have wanted her to be shut away due to grief.

  She had her memories. It had to be enough.

  One morning in early December, she decided to make a change. The hollow ache around her heart hadn’t lessened, but the first snowflakes of the season had begun to fly. They did more for rousing her spirit than any of the food Mrs. Altier had brought her. Missing Sam wouldn’t go away, yet the need for human companionship and real conversation grew overwhelming. Christmas would arrive soon. That meant folks would need help with baking, gift wrapping, and countless other things. There’d be carols to sing and eggnog to drink.

  Maybe she’d finally be able to find her place in the town, and in doing so she’d be able to move forward.

  Clad in a forest-green gown and soft, black shawl, she left her temporary sanctuary, intent on seeing Destiny with open eyes for the first time.

  Snowflakes dotted the brown, dried grass, the roofs, and the cobblestone streets. The cold kiss of precipitation hit her cheeks and reminded her of things that seemed another lifetime ago. Back home, if she wasn’t traveling, she would have been decorating a Christmas tree or wrapping gifts. Last year, she’d managed to bake a few batches of gingerbread before burning the rest.

  Do you miss our time?

  Ava smiled at the wistful tone in her wolf’s voice. Every now and again I do. This time period is quaint and easy, but it’s also lonely. And, everywhere I look, it reminds me of Sam. I like that. I kinda feel as if he’s still with me.

  Her wolf paced back and forth in her mind, for once not making a wiseass comment. Will we go home?

  “I’m not sure yet.” As she walked the streets of Destiny, she wondered if she’d ever find a way to return. Since Sam’s passing, she hadn’t given the matter any thought. If she lived out her life from this point forward, would she always have the connection to him that she felt if she remained in the past? It terrified her that she might lose him all over again if she had the opportunity to go back.

  “Good afternoon, Miss Lesarris.”

  The cheery greeting jarred Ava out of her musings. She glanced up to see Thelonious standing before her in the middle of the business district. “Hi.” She hadn’t interacted with the mysterious man since she’d arrived in town.

  The pointy-eared fairy smiled. He kept his hands clutched on the parrot head of his walking staff. His green tailcoat fluttered in the breeze. “Allow me to extend my condolences regarding Samuel.” He stepped close. “How are you coping? Feeling all right?”

  “I’m okay. A little run down, but I’m tired and stressed, so it’s to be expected. No big deal.” Ava shrugged and narrowed her eyes. “I’m sorry I never figured out why I was sent here. You must be disappointed.”

  “I have learned not to expect much from the human race.” He raised a delicate eyebrow. “Perhaps the answer hasn’t occurred to you yet.”

  “Maybe.” She sighed. “Look, Thelonious, will I ever be able to go home or not? I’m fine either way. I just need firm direction.” She laced her fingers together, glad for the thin kid gloves that kept her hands warm.

  “When you first arrived, I told you to go to the train station
if you were melancholy. Have you visited yet?” Admonition dripped from his words.

  “No, but since you’ve been so kind as to mention it again, I’ll go there now.” Before her wolf could say anything snarky, Ava did it for her. There’s something weird about that guy. I don’t like him very much.

  Thelonious inclined his head. “Pop in and see the doctor. If you’re feeling at all sickly, I’m sure he can set your mind at ease.”

  “I’m fine, but thank you.” God, the guy was a pain in the ass. “If I don’t see you before the holiday, I hope it’s a joyous occasion for you.”

  “And also for you, Ava.”

  Not waiting around for more small talk, Ava hurried up Main Street and passed Town Hall. A few blocks east took her to the quaint, turn-of-the-century train station—well, turn-of-the-century in her time period. Now, it looked just built and new. Wooden shingles covered the roof, while red bricks sparkled in the afternoon sun. An evergreen wreath twined with red velvet ribbons, and pinecones sat at a jaunty angle on the front door. A gleaming black engine stood ready on the tracks, a billow of steam belching into the air.

  She jumped as a shrill whistle shattered the easy silence, then a voice from the ticketing window said, “Here’s your ticket, miss. Enjoy your trip.” The older man held out a paper with a definite sparkle in his eye.

  “But I haven’t made up my mind where, or if, I want to go.” Curious, she stepped up to the window and reached for the ticket.

  Don’t do it, human. I have a bad feeling about this.

  As soon as her hand touched his, the train whistle blew again. A rush of cool wind blew through the station, whipping her skirts around her legs and tearing her hair from its pins. Before Ava could brace herself, question her wolf, or call out for help, darkness descended, and she was trapped in a cold, soundless void.

  * * * *

  Five Years Later

  Ava stood outside the building as butterflies danced through her stomach. How much longer? Could a person die of nerves?

  Settle down, human. All will be well. Hasn’t it been thus for these last few years?

  “Yes.” She smiled and took a deep breath. Letting it ease out, she repeated the action until she reached a point of calm once more.

  As it did when she needed a distraction, Ava’s mind wandered back to when she’d returned to the modern-day Destiny. One minute she stood in the train station clutching a paper ticket circa 1899, the next she reeled as snow fell from a tree branch and slipped beneath her collar, waking her from the trance that had transported her home.

  For whatever reason, she’d come back to her own timeline, again without fanfare or explanation. Cars and other vehicular traffic traveled the streets. The occasional chirp from cell phones carried over the air. Modernized versions of the shops she’d come to know lined the streets, and new stores crowded the sidewalks. All the residents wore the sort of updated clothes she’d remembered, yet terror had gripped her heart.

  Running through the town proper, she’d hefted her Victorian-era skirts and ignored the curious glances from the townsfolk she passed. She headed for Sam’s house, or where his home used to stand in 1899. Winded, she tore around a corner, crying out in relief. It remained, just as she’d left it, looking freshly painted and well-cared for. Snow dusted the walkways and frosted the bushes like giant cupcakes.

  Ava had burst into the house, darting through each room, not stopping until she reached the master bedroom. She yanked open the closet door and fell into the suits and starched shirts still hanging in orderly rows on one side.

  Sam’s spicy scent permeated the fabric, even though they’d been stored there for over a hundred years. It was if she’d just left him yesterday. No dust marred the shoulders. No moths had eaten the fabric. She remembered bursting into tears and curling up on the closet floor, where Thelonious had found her hours later.

  Best of all, she’d still felt his presence—Sam’s. It was all she’d needed.

  The shrill clang of the school bell roused Ava from her memories and back into the present day. She stared at the glass doors as her chest clenched with anticipation. Even though it wasn’t her first day of school, she knew very well what it meant to her son.

  Her heart lurched as the doors opened to Destiny Elementary. A stream of children spilled out into the yard, cheerful in their red uniforms and noisy in their play. She only had eyes for one in particular. A small just-turned-four-year-old boy hopped down the steps and looked across the summer grass at her. His cozy class of six trooped out accompanied by his teacher, a petite woman with masses of honey-colored hair and pointy ears. The teacher waved to her, then moved on to escort the young ones to their waiting parents.

  “Hi, Mama!” His mop of red curls gleamed bright copper in the afternoon sun, and his brandy-rich eyes twinkled when he recognized her. His little legs pumped as he dropped his bookbag and jumped into her waiting embrace. “I’m gonna love school. We had cookies today for a snack. And chocolate milk.”

  “I’m so happy for you.” She hugged him close and struggled to fight off tears. Her little miracle child; her constant reminder that Sam had truly loved her and would always be with her.

  “Mama.” He wiggled out of her hold. “You’re squeezing me too hard.” Hopping in place, he grinned, showing off the gap where he’d recently lost a front tooth. “Can I go see Uncle Jamison? He said if I was good today, he’d give me a bank lollipop.” Because, apparently, bank lollipops were so much better than regular ones.

  How could she deny the boy anything when he looked at her with those big, dark eyes and the smile that reminded her so much of his father? “Not by yourself.”

  An older boy—probably in fifth grade—paused nearby. “I’ll take him over there if you want, Mrs. Tremaine. It’s on my way home.”

  She nodded and smiled at the boy. He volunteered sometimes at the Visitor Center in the summertime. “Thank you, but stay on the sidewalk. I’ll be there in a minute.” Watching as both boys hurried down the pavement, she sighed. Jamison had become the boy’s godfather and watched over them both as a sort of tribute to his friend. It was good he was a vampire because the hundred years that had passed hadn’t aged him much, and when he had free time from the bank or his food-critique duties, he ran Sam Jr. ragged. He had a soft spot for the lad.

  Not that she could blame him. Shortly after arriving in modern-day Destiny, Ava had found out she was pregnant. When she’d received the news, she’d broken down in tears, so thankful Sam hadn’t left her alone after all. Once the child was born, she never missed an opportunity to steal quick glances at him, catching an expression or hearing a phrase that could only come from his father.

  And with each laughter and smile, her heart lifted with gratitude. The ache of Sam’s leaving lessened a tiny bit with each day.

  I was wrong. You make a wonderful mother.

  “Thank you.” Ava smiled as she retrieved her son’s bookbag. Her wolf had been an invaluable source of comfort and help since Sam died. Thanks to her internal beast, the hurt of missing him softened around the edges. “He’s an easy child to love.”

  “He resembles his father strongly. You should be proud.” Thelonious Evermore joined her on the school’s sidewalk.

  “Somehow, I knew you’d be here.” Ava straightened, hugging the bookbag to her chest. “How are you, Thelonious?” She hadn’t had any interaction with the founder of the town since the day she’d returned to the Destiny of this time.

  “Well, and you?”

  “Living each day on its own merits. Enjoying life. It goes by too quickly.” She cocked her head to one side. “What are you really doing here?” Every time Thelonious showed up, her life went haywire. “I’m happy. Please don’t mess it up.”

  “I have no plans to meddle.” A half-smile curved his lips. The tails of his brown coat stirred in the warm breeze. “Are you pleased with how your life turned out?”

  Ava considered the last years since she’d arrived in Destiny. “After ever
ything, yes. It may not be a perfect happily ever after, but it’s mine. And it works. I wouldn’t trade it.” Of course, it wasn’t time to try and explain Sam Jr.’s fate to him, but she’d cross that bridge when she came to it. She glanced toward the bank. Sam Jr. darted through the door out of her line of vision. A twinge of sorrow passed through her chest. “Though I’ll always miss Sam, I’m thankful for every day.”

  “Good.” Thelonious lingered, watching her with bright eyes.

  “Why did you send me back in time? What was my purpose?” After all these years, this question had rattled around in her brain like a broken wheel that now needed to be thrown away.

  “To fulfill Samuel’s destiny, of course. He wished to be remembered, to make his mark on the world. He got you pregnant, but couldn’t accomplish this without your little blue pill.” Again, a satisfied smile flirted with his lips.

  “And you sent me back to my own time because?” To this day, Ava didn’t care for Thelonious’s meddling.

  The fairy’s delighted laughter blended with the birdsong in the air. “To fulfill your destiny. You became a mother, something you never knew you wanted to be, especially not with the caliber of men in your time period.”

  “Ah, very funny.” Even her wolf snorted in amusement.

  “I did mention you were in the wrong time.” Thelonious nodded. “You felt sadness when Samuel died, but once your son came, that sadness turned into love a thousand times stronger. In this affection, you will remember Samuel. His legacy will live on in his son.”

  “That makes sense.” Ava clutched Sam Jr.’s bag. She thought about Sam every day. On some nights her body still cried out for his, yet she’d never gotten involved with anyone else, not even the enigmatic Finn, owner of the gift shop-slash-restaurant that shared retail space with the Visitor Center. She’d caught his soft glances whenever they happened to be in the same room together. No matter how intriguing, she couldn’t quite let down her guard and agree to put her heart on the line again. “When my son is older, I’ll teach him about his heritage.” And eventually, she’d need to let him go, too. Such was life. A constant ebb and flow of meetings and goodbyes.