He looked out at the drizzling rain. The sky was overcast and made the greens outside brilliant and a little surreal.
“I suppose it was the shock of seeing you there. You looked so . . . human. It surprised me. I had always thought of you as indestructable. No matter what knocked you down, you just kept getting back up. But there, in that place, you weren’t ever going to get up again. I just couldn’t stand to see the waste of it all.”
The light from the fluorescents gave his skin a corpse-like pallor. It seemed almost incomprehensible to me that I had once held him in my arms. I felt like that had happened to a different person. A different Aina.
“Did I ever thank you?” I asked.
He turned toward me and smiled. The smile was crooked and made his face look lopsided. And I found it utterly endearing.
“Yes.” he said. “You did.”
“Good.” I said.
And we sat there wrapped in our memories until the announcement came for our flight.
You have been hiding from me, Aina.
You must know there is nowhere you can run where I cannot find you.
No place that will afford you sanctuary.
I am coming.
Coming soon.
16
The international flight was cramped and exhausting. I jerked awake from another dream about Ysrthgrathe. He was in my mind again. Invading my thoughts and dreams just like he had all those years ago. It made me feel unclean. Like something slimy had crawled across my skin.
Caimbeul was asleep next to me. He snored a little and I gave him a bit of a push to make him stop. I wanted to wake him and tell him about my dream, but I didn’t. I had learned long ago that it was better not to involve anyone else in matters concerning Ysrthgrathe.
Outside it was dark. I found flying to be strange, as though I were suspended in time and space. Another manifestation of my distrust of technology. Perhaps all this metal and cold, analytical thought reminded me too much of the Therans. The result of their devotion to purity had ruined so many. Like the Huns, they thought nothing of conquering and laying waste to any and all who opposed them. And like the Romans, they swallowed whole civilizations and digested them into unrecognizable pieces. They so believed in their own purity that they sacrificed the world.
But all of that time was gone. I had to stop letting it pull me into the past. What was important now was the future. I had to save it.
* * *
We landed in the Atlanta airport and made our connecting flight to Austin without any real delays. Oh, there’s always some sort of drek that pops up when you enter the Confederated American States, but I still had a few connections of my own. A few hours later, we were catching a cab from Robert Mueller Airport to my sometime-residence in the western hills of Austin.
* * *
“I don’t remember this place.” said Caimbeul. He walked about the room pulling dust covers off the furniture and sneezing as dust flew up his nose.
The house smelled stale and I was opening windows. The clean, sweet scent of fall floated into the room. It was warm here, even in late October. I like that about Austin.
“I didn’t come by it until nineteen thirty-four.” I said. “As I recall, you were out of the picture by, oh, about fifty years.”
“We did fall out of touch.” he said. “I’m sorry about that.”
“I’m not.” I said. “We had said so many things by then. Things neither of us could take back. No, it was better that we got away from one another.”
He opened the French doors leading to the balcony that wrapped around the front of the house overlooking the beginning of the Hill Country. Cedar and mesquite trees grew low and crippled by the fierce summers. It was as close to an alien landscape as I could imagine. Even now, when technology tried to cover every centimeter of earth, I believed that this land would reclaim itself if given half a chance.
“I like it here.” he said. “It reminds me of another place—before . . .”
“Before the Enemy came.” I finished. “Yes, it doesn’t look the same, but it feels the same. Wild and untamed. There used to be more development here, but since the Awakening, it has gone back somewhat.
“After the Great Ghost Dance, the water spirits inhabiting the Barton Creek Watershed rose up and drowned a number of developers. They were having some kind of big ground-breaking on yet another big project. Apparently, the water spirits didn’t like the idea, because they carried off the great-great-grandson of Jim Bob Moffett and several of his banker friends.
“There hasn’t been much development since then, and the people who were living in property that was polluting the creek found themselves being tormented by water spirits. Most of them have left.”
“Why are you still here?” Caimbeul asked.
“Professional courtesy.”
* * *
We’d stopped for groceries on the way in, and after a quick meal of eggs and soylinks, we retired back to the balcony. Luckily, my freezer was still working and I had a supply of unground coffee beans laid in. We watched the brilliant red sun go down while sipping Kona blue and cognac.
“Why are we here?” Caimbeul asked. I had been waiting for him to get around to it, but I was surprised it took him so long. Perhaps he had gained some patience over the years.
“I wanted to get in touch with Thais.” I said. “When last we spoke, he was in this area.”
“Thais?”
“My child.”
* * *
After I left Europe and Caimbeul’s warm embrace, I came to America. I was achingly lonely for him, a fact that, in retrospect, seems rather foolish and trivial. But there it was. The rumors of the Great Ghost Dance had brought me here, or so I told myself. What I was really about was trying to forget Caimbeul and make something new out of my life.
I took a westbound train from New York to Saint Louis. Then I caught a stage to Sioux Falls. I knew Wovoka (he also used the Anglo name Jack Wilson, I recall) had convinced the Sioux that they had to use the great ritual magics to rid themselves of the whites and bring down retribution on their heads. He was right, of course, but wrong about the time.
The world wouldn’t have enough magical energy in it for another hundred and thirty years.
But what concerned me was the news of his “visions.” He claimed that God was sending him messages. I suspected there was another explanation, one I hated to consider: Thais.
I thought I’d stopped this passion of Thais’s for popping up and causing mystical visions in magical-thinking cultures, but he was at it again. As I rode on the stage, my spine feeling as though it were being pounded through the ill-sprung seat and dust and dirt settling into everything I owned, I hoped I was early enough to put a stop to things before they blew out of hand.
By the time I reached Batesland, news was already making its way east about the massacre at Wounded Knee. I was too late.
It didn’t stop me from looking for Thais. I knew I needed to rein him in again. How I hated the thought of another confrontation with him.
“I was wondering when you would come.”
Thais.
He was hidden in the shadows of a low-hanging outcropping of rock. I wanted to see him, but, as if he knew that was my wish, he remained back in the darkness.
The wasted scenery of the Badlands spread out around me. It reminded me too much of how the world was after the Scourge. And to see Thais here, in this ruined place made me sad and angry at the same time. I’d told Thais that the world was not the one he had grown accustomed to. That he must learn to change—but he refused.
My child.
Even after all these many centuries, I still worried about him. Wanted to know that he was safe. Would he ever forgive me for bringing him into a world that would never understand him?
“Hello, Thais.” I said. “I see you’ve been busy.”
Thais shrugged and looked a bit bewildered. “I don’t understand.” he said. “The magic should have worked.” A frown cro
ssed his face and I wanted to hold him and comfort him, but I knew that would not be allowed. It frightened me sometimes, how much he grew like his father.
“Magic isn’t as powerful now.” I said. “You know that. Why did you lead them to this destruction?”
“They loved me.” Thais said. “It was just like in the old days. They looked at me and they didn’t see a monster—they saw me. I was trying to help them. All they wanted was to have their land back. I could give that to them.” He looked mournful. It made my heart ache. “I should have been able to give them that.”
“Once,” I said, “you might have. But no more. Those days are gone. Thais, you must stop this. I know what you’ve been doing. Those stone heads they dug up in the bed of the Trinity River. From the Pleistocene. I heard them described as obviously not human. My god, Thais, it was you. How could you have let them see you revealed?
“And what about Indochina? At least you tried to disguise your shape, but a seven-headed snake god?
I’ve told you that we aren’t to interfere. There’s too much at risk. What if they’d discovered what you really are? They might have killed you.”
“I’m as hard to kill as my parents.” he said, bitterly. “I am what you’ve made me. There is no place in this or any other world where I may live peacefully. Why did you make me?”
I looked away. Thais was right, of course. He never should have been bom. But I was mad at the time. Out of my mind with remorse and grief. Selfish Aina.
“You must not do this again.” I said. “It will only end in ruin. If not for you, then for your followers. Even now, when the magic is at a low ebb, you still, by your nature, have some power. Why don’t you use it responsibly?”
“Oh, that’s rich.” he said, laughing harshly. Even so, it made me want to hold him and gaze into his eyes. Such power in my child. “You—talking about responsibility. You don’t have the right.”
“Mark my words, Thais. These tragedies will continue if you don’t do something about it.”
“What would you have me do, Mother? Exile myself to some mountaintop the way you did? Hide myself and live in isolation until the world is something else again? I need them and they need me. You cannot imagine how I feel when they look at me and love me. When they fall to their knees and beg for my blessing and I give it to them. I was born to be a god. To be adored and worshipped. You can’t take that away from me.”
“I’m not trying to take anything away from you ...”
“You took my father away.”
“Don’t be a fool, Thais.” I said. “That was an accident of birth.”
He shrugged and looked away. I knew there was no use discussing this further. Thais had shut off from me, and nothing I could do or say would make any difference. How I wished that things could be different between us, but I knew I could as much wish for the moon for all the good it would do me.
And so we stood there, in that bare and barren place, divided by worlds and walls and the past that could never be undone.
She floats in a warm embrace. Hands touch her. Stroke her. Caress her until she trembles. Opening her eyes, she sees a faceless man. This doesn’t frighten her—it’s what she wants. To fall into the comfort of anonymity.
Safe and nameless.
17
“How are you going to contact Thais?” Caimbeul asked,
“A summoning.” I said. “His nature is such that he won’t be able to resist. I wish it hadn’t come to this, but we haven’t spoken in so many years. Since that terrible time after Wounded Knee.”
“Why didn’t you just call him up while we were in Tír na nÓg?”
“Too many enemies there.” I said. “And Alachia doesn’t know about Thais. At least not as far as I know. I would keep it that way. There are some things she should never know. And I want him to be on my ground. Not his; not someone else’s.”
A wave of exhaustion swept over me. Suddenly, I wanted nothing more than to go and sleep for the rest of my natural life. But I didn’t have that choice. There was too much at stake.
I got up and walked back into the house.
Caimbeul drew the drapes as I turned off all but one light. Though it made little difference to my casting, I preferred less light. That way I could concentrate on what was happening with the spell rather than my surroundings.
“This would be a lot simpler if you let me help.” said Caimbeul.
The edges of the room faded back into shadows. The few pieces of furniture still covered in sheets looked ghostly against the far walls. The night noises were muffled by the drapes. Occasionally, I could still hear the drone of a low-flying Lone Star Security chopper.
“Are you ready?” I asked. I wasn’t sure which of us I was asking.
Caimbeul nodded and stepped back into the shadows. I knew if anything untoward happened, he would take care of me.
Taking a deep breath and closing my eyes, I let myself relax and block everything out but the spell I was about to perform.
I saw Thais in my mind. As he was when he was born, then later when I finally met him again. Grown up and changed into something so like me, and so like his father, that I wept until he made me stop with his voice and eyes.
That was Thais’s gift, after all.
As I pictured him in my mind, I let myself slip into astral space. There was the usual nauseating tug as I slipped between the veils. The ribbons flowed around me and into me until I couldn’t tell the difference between them and myself. I was filled with the power. Exhilarating and fierce. This was what I was born to. I never doubted myself here. Here I knew who and what I was.
The veils parted as I remembered my task. I reached out my will, calling Thais to me. Commanding him to come to my summons.
Time passed interminably slow. Then sped to light.
* * *
I float then fall.
The universe is around me. Inside me. I am the universe: waiting and watching.
Across worlds I come. Through the blazing heat of a thousand suns. From the Void. Into the darkness.
From the darkness, I pull light.
My child.
Some things you cannot resist. The bond between a mother and child.
The brilliance of Thais blinds me as I pull him closer and closer.
Come to me, child.
And he cannot refuse.
Then we are falling. Falling through space and time. Back to earth.
* * *
“What do you want?”
Thais was standing in the center of the room. A circle of blue energy surrounded him. I waved it away and he relaxed visibly.
“Was that really necessary?” he asked.
“Would you have come if I asked?”
He shook his head. “You abandoned me long ago. Why should I do you any favors now?”
I had hoped that old hurt had passed. But no, I was not to be forgiven any of my sins. Thais was still a child in so many ways. I had protected him too well.
“Very well, Thais, consider it a demand then.” I said wearily. “I haven’t the energy to fight with you about this now. There are other, more important, matters at hand.”
Thais slid along the floor and pulled himself up onto the couch with his powerful arms. His thick, snake-like tail wrapped around his torso once, then hung down off the edge of his seat onto the floor.
“What does the Great and Powerful Aina want of me today? Perhaps I should go to the Wicked Witch of the West and retrieve her broom. Maybe I’ll throw water on her and watch as she melts into brown sugar. Or there is always popping down a rabbit hole . . . Which will it be?”
“Mind your manners, junior.” said Caimbeul. “That’s your mother you’re addressing.”
Both Thais and I turned toward him, open-mouthed. He shrugged.
“I think you’ve coddled him, Aina.” said Caimbeul. “You’ve always protected him from . . . the world.”
“Coddled?” Thais said. “You call being born a monster coddled? Look at me. Why did
she make me? It was her selfishness . .
“Oh, grow up.” snapped Caimbeul. “This isn’t about you. . . .”
“Thank you.” I interjected. “But why don’t you let me get on with it?”
“Very well, but—”
I held my hand up and Caimbeul fell silent. A tight expression set on his face and I knew he was angry. It made me feel very warm inside.
I turned to Thais.
“Ysrthgrathe is back.” I said.
Thais didn’t say anything.
“Has he contacted you?” I asked.
“Why would I tell you if he had?” he asked.
“Thais, he’s a liar. He spreads his misery that way. I know you want to believe .. . only the best.”
“You don’t know what I want.” Thais said. “Why should I trust you more than him?”
“You know what he is.” I said. “I’ve never kept that from you. There is more at stake here than your grudge against me. If he is back, then the world is at risk.”
Thais rolled his eyes.
“It’s always so dramatic with you, Mother.” he said. His voice was that of a smirky, sarcastic fifteen-year-old. “How is it that you’re always on hand to save the country, the planet, the universe? Don’t you ever get tired?”
“Yes, Thais, I get very tired. I am intensely weary right now.”
His tail twitched and tapped against the floor. The scales that covered his skin were iridescent and gleamed in the low light. I wondered what happened when he had to shed his skin. So many little details about his life I didn’t know.
“Very well.” Thais said. “I’ll tell you. He is here, on this plane. He contacted me a few days ago. But he didn’t come to me in person—I had a dream. It was so vivid, unlike any other dream I’ve ever had.
“He explained . . . everything. He told me why you hated him. Told me the truth.”
Caimbeul made an ugly noise and I looked over at him. A frown pulled at his mouth and he gave me a Why-the-frag-don’t-you-just-shut-the-little-wackweed-up? look. I doubted he’d ever had children. I couldn’t expect him to understand.
Thais had uncoiled himself from the couch and was slithering along the floor to the doors leading outside.
Worlds Without End Page 9
