Cut Loose

by Julia Wolf

  “Fuck me, please,” I pleaded.

  He flipped up my skirt and palmed my ass, then nudged my feet apart with his toes. With my cheek pressed against the cool cinder block and James’ hot, heavy chest on my back, my mind couldn’t focus. Everything became a haze of sensations: hands gripping, hot breath, bodies sliding, hair chafing sensitive skin.

  And then my underwear was around my ankles and his dick at my entrance before I could blink. He paused, and I pushed against him.

  “Condom,” he groaned.

  “Shit!” I cried. Then I pushed against him again. “I’m on birth control, I’m clean. You good?”

  “I’m good. But are you sure?”

  “Yes, yes, yes! I need you, James.” I’d never heard myself sound so desperate, but when I said I needed James, I meant it literally. I felt like I might actually be swallowed up into the ether if he wasn’t inside me, grounding me.

  James took hold of my hips, his thick fingers digging into my flesh, and slowly sank inside me. I rocked my hips to work him deeper and when his pelvis was completely flush with my ass, we both groaned.

  Having him completely bare in my body was the most delicious feeling in the world. He slowly slid in and out and I moved with him as much as I could, pinned to the wall.

  “You feel too good,” he rumbled.

  “Mmmm…” I put one hand around the back of his neck and my other hand went between my legs. I touched where he was entering my body and feeling him move in and out almost made me come right then and there. Moving my fingers up, I found my clit and pressed against it, sending tremors through my body.

  James backed up a step, taking me with him, then pushed on my upper back so I was leaning over. I braced myself on the wall and he started to thrust faster. I felt the muscles in his legs on the backs of my own, flexing and releasing as he pounded into me.

  This wasn’t the gentle, sweet James I knew. This was the James who liked to fuck—and fuck hard. This was exactly what I needed. There would be bruises on my ass and hips from his hands and I couldn’t wait to see them. Just the thought flitting through my mind had me clenching around his impossibly hard cock.

  My vision went black and everything faded except my beautiful, powerful man inside me and on top of me and all around me. A roar whooshed in my ears and every drop of blood in my veins rushed between my legs. With one more circle of my fingers on my swollen clit, one more slam of James’ cock, I erupted, lava sliding down my skin, burning me, charring me, changing me irrevocably.

  James groaned and slammed into me as I came apart around him. He held my body in his hands like it was his to do with as he pleased. And in that moment, it was. He pushed my pussy onto his cock over and over.

  “You.” Thrust. “Are.” Thrust. “So.” Thrust. “Perfect.” Thrust. James’ arms wrapped around my torso and stood me up, pressing his chest into my back. He held me there as he plunged into me two more times, then grunted into my neck. I gripped his forearms and tipped my head back to kiss him. I sucked his bottom lip between mine as he continued to make short thrusts, completely emptying himself inside me.

  Our lips broke apart and I leaned against the wall, James’ body surrounding mine. I felt limp and satiated, but also cared for and safe. I felt his heartbeat through my back and wondered if it beat in the rhythm of my name the way mine had begun to beat with his.

  He rumbled, sending vibrations coursing through my body, then slowly pulled out.

  I stayed leaning against the wall while he found a tissue and when he came back I heard him stop right behind me. When I looked over my shoulder, his eyes were focused on my bare ass and the remnants of our sex dripping down my thighs.

  I swung my hips back and forth. “Like what you see?”

  He rubbed his face. “Don’t do that. I actually have to go back out there tonight.”

  I giggled and flipped my skirt down, feeling so much lighter than I had when I arrived. And I knew it was all due to James. He saw me, and somehow instinctually he knew what I needed, even when I wasn’t quite sure myself.

  After I cleaned up, I wrapped my arms around James and buried my face in his beard. “Mmmm…thank you. I feel so much better now.”

  He stroked my back, his broad hands comforting and warm. “Can you tell me what happened?”

  I sighed. “I went with Eliza to get a tattoo tonight. Hers was much bigger: from her wrist to her elbow. It was really out of character, but she kept saying she ‘needed’ to do it.”

  “Why?”

  I pulled back just enough that I could meet his eyes while he kept me firmly in his arms. “She found an engagement ring in her boyfriend’s drawer. He’s awful, James. She has to tiptoe around him to keep him happy, and I’m not even sure that works. She’s so miserable, but just can’t leave him for some reason. She said she hopes he’ll walk when he sees the tattoo. Can you imagine? I never want to be so wrapped up in someone else that I can’t see the way out.”

  “I’m sorry for your friend, Frannie. I hope she can get out sooner than later.”

  “Me too. I’m glad I got to see you tonight. Being with you always makes everything good.” I pulled his face down and pressed a lingering kiss to his lips.

  “You can visit me here anytime.” He grinned and kissed the side of my neck. Then he said softly, “I’ll always let you go, but I hope you won’t ever want to leave.”

  I shook my head and kissed him again. He was too much, too sweet. He scared the shit out of me because I didn’t want to leave. I basically wanted to climb inside him and live there. I had never had feelings like this before.

  I cleared my throat and smiled, trying to downplay how emotional I felt. “I sure don’t want to leave now. But you better get back out there before poor Val comes looking for you.”

  He kissed me one last time. “All right, Frannie. Let’s go.”

  We walked hand in hand back out to the bar.

  “I have to work until close tonight,” he said.

  I nodded. “I have to get to the salon early tomorrow and then I’m going out with Ryan.”

  “Ah, yes, the drag show. Can I see you Sunday then?”

  “You better. I took the day off so I can recover. Brunch?”

  James smiled and kissed my neck. “Have fun, Frannie. And tell my brother to be good.”

  I laughed. “What fun is that?” Then I blew him a kiss and headed home.

  My sweet, sweet James had somehow become my touchstone, the person I turned to for comfort. And he was damn good at it, enveloping me with both his body and his quiet calm. Before him, nights like tonight would have sent me into hiding in bed, but my first thought after seeing Eliza’s turmoil was I needed to be with him. After only being together for a few weeks, James was my safe space and I just hoped he was up for the job.

  Twenty

  It is a truth universally acknowledged that there’s no occasion where sequins are not appropriate. Well, it was my universal truth anyway. Sure, there’s a sliding scale of appropriateness, but going out to a drag show with a group of male dancers screamed for piles of sparkles.

  Laurel sat on the bathroom counter, watching me get ready to go out with the guys.

  “You sure you don’t want to go, honey?” I asked as I applied yet another layer of mascara to my lashes.

  “You know I do. But I had a big night last night, so I’m going to crash when you leave. There’s no way I’d be good company tonight.” She yawned to punctuate her statement.

  “Where’d you go last night?”

  She waved her hand around. “Oh, you know, a boring function full of boring lawyers. They ply us with drinks, though, so I always leave completely hammered.”

  As close as we’d become, Laurel was still very private. I thought part of the reason we got along so well was because I wasn’t one to push and I accepted her vague answers about what she got up to on nights she didn’t come home. But I still wondered.

  “Hey, do you have any of that double-sided tape? I can’t wear a
bra with this outfit and I don’t really want a tit to pop out.”

  Laurel laughed and hopped down. “I think so. I’ll go dig through the rubble in my room and find it for you.”

  I went into my bedroom to get dressed. I shimmied into my long-sleeved romper, which was covered in silver sequins. From far away the pattern resembled snakeskin. The front of the romper was low, low, low, dipping between my breasts to just above my belly button. I didn’t need a necklace, so I just wore dangly silver earrings.

  When I came out of my room, Laurel smiled. “You look like a sexy disco ball!”

  I laughed. “I love you! I think that’s my favorite compliment ever!”

  She gave me the tape and once my top was secured to my chest I slipped on my thigh-high black faux suede boots and I was ready to go.

  Laurel watched me from the door and waved. “Have fun and don’t run away with a drag queen!”

  I called over my shoulder, “I’ll try, but I make no promises!”

  When I got to the club, RGBV, Ryan was waiting out front with two other guys. I started to step out of the taxi, but Ryan saw me and ran over to help me out. I actually appreciated it since my heels were sky-high and getting out of cars could be tricky.

  “Francisca Rivera.” He pulled my hand up to his mouth, kissing it.

  “Ryan O’Malley.” I kissed his hand too, making him chuckle.

  “Don’t you look exceptional tonight,” he said, playfully leering at me. Then he twirled me around like a ballerina in a music box.

  Laughing, I fell against him. “Are you hitting on me?”

  He frowned. “Have you grown a dick?”

  I shook my head.

  “Then no. Sorry, Frannie, you’re stuck with my brother.”

  I pushed his chest playfully. “Darn, stuck with a giant hot guy with a gorgeous beard. Poor me.”

  Laughing, Ryan grabbed my hand and led me over to his two friends.

  “Frannie, this is Angelo and Marcus. Gentlemen, this is the lovely Frannie.”

  I air kissed Angelo first, a compact muscular man with shaggy dark hair and beautiful golden skin. With my heels I towered over him, but that was nothing new for me.

  I turned to Marcus, a slightly taller black man with short dreads and warm eyes. When I went in to air kiss him too, he pulled me in for a bear hug instead.

  “Oh, well, aren’t you friendly?” I asked when he let me go.

  He held his hands up and laughed. “Sorry I didn’t warn you. I’m a hugger!”

  “I forgive you. I haven’t seen my man for almost twenty-four hours, so I was due for a really good hug.”

  Ryan circled his arm around my waist as we walked into the club. “I don’t think I told you guys Frannie is James’ girlfriend.”

  Angelo held his hand up and I gave him a high five. “Nice, Frannie. I’ve met James, good job!”

  I giggled. I knew I’d landed a catch, and apparently I wasn’t the only one who thought so.

  RGBV had two levels and from the times I’d been there in the past, I was familiar with the layout. The top floor held a huge dance floor and multiple bars while the bottom floor was where shows went on. When we entered it was dark and packed with men milling around. I was pretty sure I was one of the only women in the place. But I liked being surrounded by attractive guys, even if they were more interested in each other than me.

  Actually, it was perfect; I could ogle without having to worry about fending off unwanted flirtation.

  Ryan had reserved us a table near the stage so once we were seated and downing our first round, I asked Angelo and Marcus what kind of dancing they did. They glanced at each other and grimaced slightly.

  I gasped. “You’re not…are you…strippers?”

  Angelo and Marcus exchanged another look, then burst out laughing.

  “No, honey, we work on a cruise ship,” Marcus said through tears of laughter.

  “Hey! I give an incredible lap dance. But I do it for free, in my bedroom,” said Angelo.

  I flashed him my sultriest pout. “I think I’d pay for a free lap dance from you, Angelo.”

  He came around the table and gyrated in my lap for a moment before I pushed him off and smacked his ass. I’d known him for fifteen minutes and already I kind of loved him.

  Once he sat back down, I glanced back and forth between the guys. “Why the look when I asked about what kind of dance you do?”

  Angelo sighed. “I don’t think either of us ever envisioned ourselves dancing for drunken tourists on a moving vessel.”

  Marcus shook his head. “Nope, I had my sights set on Broadway when I was killing myself in dance classes instead of hanging out with friends.”

  I waved my hands around. “Hey! You’re being paid to dance professionally! There’s no shame in your game!”

  “What about you, Frannie?” Marcus asked. “Ryan said you used to dance with him.”

  I rolled my eyes. “That was a million years ago. It didn’t work out. I moved on.”

  “You should have seen her. You’ve never seen legs like Frannie’s, I guarantee it,” Ryan said dreamily.

  I leaned toward Marcus and Angelo and stage-whispered, “Ryan’s a little in love with me. It’s sad really.”

  They all snickered, and I had successfully diverted attention away from my ill-fated dancing career. That time of my life didn’t have many happy memories and I hated thinking about it. The picture I had hanging in my bedroom was one of the only days I liked to remember from over those two years.

  Without warning, the lights went out and strobe lights started dancing across the stage. My hands and feet tingled with excitement. Drag shows always made me giddy.

  The most beautiful queen I’d ever seen took command of the stage. She was at least six-foot-five, had huge blonde hair, and I swear she was wearing almost the same sequined romper as I was.

  I laughed when I saw Ryan glancing back and forth between me and Ima Goodlay, who was pacing the stage and generally being fabulous.

  “I told you I was a drag queen in my previous life!”

  And then I became quietly mesmerized when my queen began to sing to Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way.” She had two young, deliciously muscled men in silver lycra leggings and mesh tank tops dancing on either side of her. Our table—okay, really just me—cheered so loudly we caught Ima Goodlay’s attention and she immediately spotted our matching outfits. She motioned for me to stand up and twirl, which earned me wolf-whistles and applause from the crowd.

  “I think you need a drag name, sugar!” announced Ima. She prowled the stage while she thought it over. “I’ve got it! One lady with three strapping lads, your name must be Polly Wannaorgy!”

  I blew kisses to my queen and curtsied for the crowd. I turned to my tablemates and said, “You hear that, boys? It’s Polly from now on, Ms. Wannaorgy if you’re nasty.”

  Once Ima finished her act, Ariel Dame hit the stage wearing an elaborate mermaid tail and long red wig. She treated us to several songs from The Little Mermaid, which had to be the most amazing thing I’d ever seen.

  “Thank you for inviting me, Ryan. I fucking love this,” I said with a huge grin on my face.

  Ryan nodded and smiled. “You should see your boyfriend at these shows. He just watches with no expression on his face.”

  I cackled. “He probably gets hypnotized by all the sequins and can’t speak.”

  The four of us laughed until we cried, dancing in our seats and singing along to the best damn drag show ever. We also slammed back quite a few drinks, so by the end we were obnoxiously drunk. Angelo decided to call it a night and head back to his hotel, so we kissed and hugged and promised to find each other on Facebook.

  I jumped up and down on the sidewalk with my hands over my head. “What are we gonna do now, fellas?” I was in the happy drunk stage where I just wanted to dance and hug everybody in sight.

  Marcus looked at Ryan. “I think this pretty lady needs to be shown a good time.”

  I nodd
ed vigorously, my head slightly floppy on my neck. “I do, I do!”

  The three of us linked arms and wreaked havoc on several gay bars. Well, I did. They just watched me be ridiculous. I danced with as many men as would have me, and when talking to a dude with a beard almost as gorgeous as James’, I learned he would be described as a bear cub in the gay universe. Ryan was freaked out when I told him his brother was a sexy baby bear.

  I thought I sensed chemistry between Marcus and Ryan and it was confirmed when they joined hands as we walked back to Ryan’s place.

  “Awww, you two are so cute!” I exclaimed.

  Ryan laughed. “And you’re really drunk.”

  I pushed out my bottom lip. “But am I cute too?”

  Ryan put his free arm around my waist. “Yes, my dearest Francisca, you are the cutest.”

  “You mean Polly!” I corrected.

  He bowed his head and smiled. “Yes, of course. What was I thinking, Ms. Wannaorgy?”

  That appeased me, so I walked happily with them and rode the elevator up to Ryan’s floor. When he opened the door, I gasped. I was just sober enough to realize his apartment was huge, with polished concrete floors, exposed brick walls and ductwork, and massive industrial windows with a view of the river. Ryan must have had a generous boyfriend somewhere along the way who gifted him this or a very rich patron who loved his dancing. Because I had an idea of how much money he made, and it wasn’t enough to afford a tenth of this apartment.

  “Fancy, fancy!” I said as I meandered into the living room.

  Ryan chuckled. “Yeah, my roommate’s loaded.”

  “I was just wondering how you afforded this.” I stared out the window into the dark sky, the water glittering with the reflection of the city lights. I could get used to a view like this.

  “I don’t think Frannie’s done dancing yet,” Marcus said.

  Looking over my shoulder, I swayed my hips back and forth. “I’m never done dancing!”

  Marcus fooled around with his phone for a minute then set it on the coffee table and music started playing.

  “I present to you my dance party playlist,” he announced.