SailtotheMoon

by Lynne Connolly

  “Yeah, in a way. Come in.”

  They entered a spacious square hall. Lights came on as soon as they entered, brightly glaring, making Laura squint. “Yeah, we need the light,” Altoid said. “Come upstairs.”

  Laura glanced at Zazz. She was beginning to understand, but she’d leave Jimmy to do the explanations. Altoid led them upstairs and unlocked a paneled wooden door. Inside they found a large room, furnished as an apartment. Comfortable chairs dominated the space, and over the fireplace hung a large-screen TV. Altoid chuckled. “Still love my football, and I ain’t talking soccer. I get the Bears beamed over. Technology is wonderful, ain’t it? Anyone like a drink?”

  “Don’t want to keep you too long, Altoid,” Jimmy huffed.

  “You’re staying the night,” Altoid said. “Too late to go to your place, and if I’m not mistaken, these two want to get somewhere else.” He guessed right, but Laura had already put aside what she wanted to do. Although, with Zazz holding her close, she found it increasingly difficult. That tensile strength, the scent of him, all reminded her of where she wanted to go right now.

  Jimmy chuckled. “Just as well you’ve got more than one pair of pajamas. I never used to wear them.”

  Altoid nodded at the sofa placed opposite the TV. “That converts into a bed. I have a bedroom, this room and a private bathroom. It’s expensive, but worth it.”

  Laura glanced into the bathroom and saw the red pull that confirmed what she was thinking. “This is sheltered housing, isn’t it?”

  “Sure is. The best I’ve come across. If you’re nuts you can’t stay here, but they can cope with ordinary infirmity.” He walked to the sink in the corner and picked up the kettle on the draining board. “Tea?”

  “No thanks,” she said. “Not for me. Tell me more about this place. I thought I’d covered the housing in the area.”

  “It’s private, and it’s invitation only,” Altoid said. “It’s for people who used to be in the entertainment industry. An ex-clown lives downstairs.” He shuddered. “Never could stand them. But the guy is nice enough and he never puts on the war paint. All the apartments have this set of rooms, some are doubles, but there’s one vacant. Jimmy had his interview today.”

  “And?” Jimmy demanded.

  Altoid beamed. “They’d love to have you, if you want to come.”

  Laura nearly exploded but took a moment to calm herself a tad before she spoke. “I’ve found brochures, we’ve visited places and you never said you liked any of them. What is it about this place that’s so special? I mean, it’s nice, but—”

  She stopped, aware that the others were staring. Oh fuck, she’d shown herself up. But she didn’t know why this place was any better than the others she’d taken her time sourcing. And why hadn’t this come up on her radar?

  Jimmy shuffled across the room, showing the weariness Laura had spotted in him earlier. He laid his gnarled hand on hers. She hadn’t realized she’d balled it into a fist until then. “Last night, we had a party. Invited people from the club. I discovered I don’t want that anymore. They were great, sure, but Altoid and me, we left early and came here so we could get some sleep. This place has people I like in it, and they understand about musicians keeping late hours. I fought homes because I felt they were institutionalized. This place is by musicians, for musicians. A private charity.” He glanced at Zazz, his wry smile one she’d seen on his son’s face before. “I expect you to donate.”

  “Too right.” Zazz drew Laura closer. “So this is the place for you?”

  “It seems so. And it’s time.” Jimmy heaved a sigh. “Where I live, it’s not getting any easier. The lift is out of action more than not, and it stinks of piss. The gangs don’t run the area like they used to, which is one thing I’m glad about, but it’s time to go. A wise man decides for himself. At the back of my mind I knew this place existed. I was waiting for it to show up.”

  Laura sighed. “And it’s not in my area, so I wouldn’t come here to visit.” That was the only way she’d discover it. Manchester was a huge area with different jurisdictions and her area, Trafford, was miles away from this one. Oh the place had to have licenses, and she’d check them first thing in the morning, but she had no idea. She’d shown Jimmy the ones she knew about and he’d rejected them all. When Zazz had said he could afford anything the old man wanted, she extended her search. From what she saw, this place would be expensive.

  “I want to meet the people in charge,” said Zazz.

  Altoid grinned. “There’ll be one on duty, but the rest are in bed. Each resident has one person as their personal assistant. And I like that too. Assistant. Yeah, I can see what you’re thinking. This place costs. There’s a fund, and the people who founded the place left a trust. But they said it should stay private, and no publicity, because some of the residents are what you might call high profile.” He glanced at Jimmy. “Present company excluded.”

  Jimmy and Altoid went off into peals of hoarse laughter.

  “Sure,” Jimmy said when he could catch his breath. Then he turned to Zazz, a broad smile wreathing his features.

  Without Jimmy pulling them back to Manchester, she might have let her life go on as it was, never realizing what was missing, despite her brave resolutions. She’d have put it off until she worked her notice, or found a new flatmate for Kelsie, or some other shit, and never done it. She’d have kept in touch with Zazz, but long distance didn’t have as good a chance. And she was hungry for Zazz. If he wanted her. But he’d never told her. He said he loved her, but V and Matt loved each other and managed a long-distance relationship with aplomb. V had already left for Chicago, where they’d meet next month.

  Laura thought she could live like that, but she didn’t want to. Perhaps Zazz did.

  “You old goat,” she murmured and Jimmy chuckled.

  “Yeah, how about that?”

  She wasn’t ready to forgive him for the anxiety he’d caused though. Zazz had been frantic. Maybe it had done him good too, made him realize how much his father meant to him. But Jimmy had shown some of the carelessness he’d demonstrated when Zazz had been a kid, albeit in a less dangerous way. Probably because Jimmy was clean now. Never had any intention of going back, but had left the shit anyway.

  “I think we should be going,” she said. “Jimmy’s fine here tonight, and we can’t do anything until tomorrow.”

  “Yeah, you get on.” Jimmy made a shooing movement, waving his hands at them. “Get gone. We’ll see you tomorrow. Not too early. I like to sleep in.”

  They had no choice. They left.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Back at the hotel, Zazz took Laura in his arms and kissed her in that luscious way she’d come to crave. He took his time, and when they came up for air, he had his hands under her shirt and her bra undone. She sighed in sheer happiness. “I made a decision.”

  He groaned. “No more tonight.”

  “Just this.”

  “No.”

  “Then make it worth my while.” He lowered his voice to a lascivious tone that, had the kiss not done the job already, turned her on like crazy. “Take off your clothes and go on all fours on the bed. I want you bad, sweetheart.”

  The instructions turned her knees to jelly. She couldn’t deny that the occasional order did it for her. She’d do anything for him, but occasionally she liked the way he took decisions out of her hands in the bedroom. Especially since she knew she could answer back if she wanted. She chose not to.

  Stepping back, she unsnapped her jeans and slid them down her legs, kicking off her sneakers and socks with them. She wore little white lace knickers, the match to the bra he’d just undone. She turned her back on him when she took off the jeans, giving him a great view of her lace-covered backside. He gave a quiet, almost inaudible groan. “You are so fine. What did I do to deserve this?”

  “Nothing. That’s not how it works.”

  It wasn’t. People didn’t deserve things that happened to them. Not always. Now, still with he
r back to him, she took off her T-shirt and let that and her bra fall to the floor. She had no expertise in stripping, but she liked the soft noises he was making. Her technique seemed to work for him.

  Taking her time, she walked to the bed, exaggerating her hip sway, and then climbed up, giving him great views of her naked back and barely clad backside. Her mound would push into the knickers, and when she bent, her breasts dangling, he’d see the bulge and the shadow of her pubic hair. Lifting her arms, she went up on her knees and slid his thumbs into the waistband of her knickers. The last garment she had on, so she took her time getting rid of them. Turning her head, she gave him a half smile, let him see how much she was enjoying the tease.

  So was he. He’d already removed his jacket and T-shirt and stood, hips slightly forward, flagrantly displaying his torso and the bulge that crammed the front of his jeans. Impossibly low-slung, the denim clung to his hips and outlined his body, strong thighs and athletically muscular frame. Her mouth watered.

  She’d never displayed herself so flagrantly for anyone before, never wanted anyone this much. And he knew how much she wanted him. She couldn’t read his face, couldn’t tell what he was thinking. He’d donned the arrogant stage persona, so much a part of him, but not one he showed her when they were in private. But this was playtime, going for the mindless release both of them needed.

  They needed no words. He must have seen it in her eyes, the desire to play. He was the arrogant rock star, she was the groupie.

  “I’ve seen better,” he drawled. “Pinker, wetter, bigger.” As she watched, he shucked his jeans and underwear. Not as she’d done, with provocative intent, but carelessly, as if it meant nothing to him to get naked. “But there’s nobody else in the room but you, so I’ll take it. I’m going to fuck you, maybe in your cunt, maybe in your ass, maybe in your mouth. Maybe all three. I don’t care if you come or not. You’re here for my pleasure.” He paused, watching her, and fresh wetness moistened her legs as her pussy became unable to contain it all. She felt open, vulnerable and so sensitive, as if all her sex had swollen in anticipation of his possession.

  He stepped forward, kicking his clothes out of the way, not bothering to check where they fell. His cock was hard, the top reddish-purple, leaking fluid at the tip. She wanted it, but she couldn’t take it unless he gave it to her. An Elvis-style sneer appeared as he watched her. He knew.

  Grasping the base of his cock with one hand, he streaked the thumb of the other over the tip, taking the fluid. “Want this?” The sneer developed into a full-blown smile. “Too bad.” He licked his thumb, tasting himself. He raised a brow. Reaching into the bedside drawer, he found a condom and tore open the packet, dropping the wrapper without checking where it fell. He glanced at the thin latex ring. “You’ll have to practice putting this on with your mouth. I’d like that.”

  She made a mental note. It might take a few bananas to get it right. She’d show him once she was sure she could do it and drive him insane before she finished the job. Like tying a cherry stem with her tongue and teeth, something she’d never mastered. But she’d learn this technique and surprise him with it.

  Fuck, he’d be surprised.

  She stayed on her hands and knees by an effort of will, because she longed to turn around and take him, suck him, lick him. Do whatever as long as he let her. Shit, did he look hot, his hand wrapped around the lower part of his cock, pumping it before he slid on the protection.

  Without warning, he stepped forward, guided his cock to her pussy and drove right in, deep and hard. The vicious slap of their bodies punctuated her cry of alarm, but he’d slid in almost without resistance, plowing through her soaking wetness to reach the inner, throbbing heart of her. “Oh yes, fill me up,” she said.

  He grasped her hips and drove in again, his strokes increasing in power. He’d never fucked her like this, with one intent, and she believed him. If she wanted to come, she’d have to help herself. He released one of her hips to grab her shoulder, pressing between her shoulder blades. She let her elbows bend, lowered her upper body until her shoulders touched the bed. And still he fucked her. “Deeper now? You’ll come like this. You’ll come because I say so.”

  “Yes, I will.” He hit her G-spot, powered past it, his cock grazing her with every deep stroke in and out. He was drilling it now, slamming against her, their bodies colliding with a firm slap with every stroke. His breath deepened, came in sharper gasps and she knew that, despite his words, he was holding on, waiting for her.

  When it came it was the result of a deep, hard fucking and she gave herself to him, helpless in his hands, under his ministrations. She cried his name, cried for him not to stop, that she’d kill him if he stopped, and he growled low, daring to laugh.

  “You think I can stop any more than you can? Fuck!” The last word he ground out, sounding as if he’d gritted his teeth, the sound half muffled. Then he cried her name and fell forward onto his hands, which he planted on either side of her. His cock pulsed deep inside her. If not for the thin layer of latex between them, he’d have flooded her.

  She wanted that. Something else for the future she was now determined they were going to have.

  Once he’d recovered, Zazz cherished her. He withdrew, rolled her over and picked her up, carrying her into the bathroom as if she couldn’t walk, which was nearly the truth. She’d come with a completeness that had overwhelmed her. He kissed her tenderly, set her on the toilet while he poured a bath for them both. In this room they had a good-sized tub, but nothing as fancy as the suites upstairs. Enough for them to share, for her to lean back in his arms and let him wash her while she told him she loved him, her mood increasingly sleepy.

  “Let it go, sweetheart. If you fall asleep, I’ll dry you and take you to bed. Nothing left for you to worry about. I love you.”

  He rinsed them with the handheld shower, took them out of the bath. She managed to wrap a towel around her body and dry herself, mostly, while he scrubbed another towel roughly over his gorgeous body. Then she leaned forward and kissed the little cat tattoo over his nipple. He took the chance to draw her close and kiss her again, as gentle as he’d been demanding not long before. Then he tucked them both up in bed and switched out the light. Laura didn’t remember much more than that. Sleep overwhelmed her in a tidal wave.

  Zazz watched his lady sleep. Whatever happened now, he had her and he was keeping her. Sleep took him by degrees as he went over plans for their future.

  He woke to daylight seeping through the gaps in the thick blue curtains, and he stared at the bedside clock. Eight o’clock. Once he’d rarely seen mornings, and by rights he should be sleeping on, but he had to do something this morning, although fuck knew what it was.

  Laura wasn’t there, but he heard taps running in the bathroom and then she opened the door. He blinked. She was dressed for the office, neat black trousers, plain blouse tucked in, a good though unremarkable black belt. “What’s happening?”

  “I’m going in to work,” she said.

  “Right.” What else could he say? He knew how much she needed her independence, and she’d worked hard at her career.

  “I’ll make sure Jimmy gets all the assistance he needs. Kelsie owes me, so she’s going to let me in on his case.” She crossed the room to the wardrobe where the matching jacket to the trousers hung. “Then I’m going to resign.”

  He shot up in bed, his lassitude gone. “No!”

  She spun around, jacket in hand. “What?” Frowning, she came over to the bed, sat on the side. “I’m sorry, am I taking too much for granted? But I decided a few things. I want to take Chick up on his offer when I’m ready. I want to take that chance before it’s too late. I need to concentrate full time on my music.” She took a deep breath, her breasts moving enticingly beneath the crisp shirt. “I’ve done enough.”

  He reached for her hand. “You don’t have to give up your job. I love you, Laura, and that’s for always and in all conditions. We’ll make it work, even if it means we have a
fuck of a lot of Skype sex. You love your job. I can’t make you give that up.”

  She frowned and he lifted his hand, touched her forehead lightly as if he could brush it away. “What makes you think I love my job?”

  His turn to frown. “You do. Didn’t you say?” She shook her head. “Don’t you? The way you are with Jimmy…how could you do that and not love what you do?”

  “It’s not the job,” she said. “It’s Jimmy.”

  She sighed and her breasts moved again. He couldn’t help but notice, and neither could his cock.

  He gathered the duvet over him so she wouldn’t notice. He couldn’t sideline the conversation like this, not until he knew for sure what she meant.

  “I never have loved it, although I tried to. I went to uni and did the course I found easiest, social studies. It was interesting, and I enjoyed it, and it meant I could still do my music. I joined a few folk clubs, and doing a degree I didn’t have to work too hard at meant I could please my parents and keep up with the music. When I left, jobs were scarce, even then, and I worked for the local council. It paid, and it was better than sitting behind a desk for forty hours a week.” A flicker of a smile touched her lips. “But my heart was never in it. I tried, I did, and sometimes it worked, like with your father.

  “But meeting Jimmy showed me what I was missing. Although he’s done too much, seen too much, he showed me the freedom I never reached for. What I do, it’s a job. I’m not particularly skilled. There are people much better than I am. And the paperwork, and the way management dicked us around made me completely pissed. I don’t want to do it anymore, Zazz. You and your father showed me what taking a chance could do. All of it, good and bad, and I want it.”

  “I could still be performing on the street and sleeping in dives,” he pointed out.

  “You’d still have been happier than me.”

  He hooked a finger under her chin. “Hey, don’t underestimate poverty. It grinds you down.”