Subservience

by Chandra Ryan

  She opened the door and turned to him. “Be sure you do. You have today to learn your way around the ship, but you’re to report for duty at 0700 hours tomorrow. Don’t be late.”

  “I won’t.”

  She was still standing in the doorway as he left, forcing him to face her in order to squeeze through the space. Her eyes caught his as he brushed up against her body and he breathed in the faint aroma of jasmine and cinnamon that surrounded her. “These belong to you now.” She placed something cold and metal in his hand. Opening it, he saw the brass bars that would designate him as a lieutenant commander.

  “I hope you won’t regret giving them to me, Captain.”

  “Life’s too short for regrets.” Her sincere smile chased away some of the doubts he had. But it was a brief interlude. As soon as the smile vanished and she’d stepped back into her quarters he began wondering how this assignment would turn to shit. They always did.

  Chapter Two

  Harlow waited for the door to close behind him to take a deep breath. Some of his thoughts that’d brushed her consciousness implied he didn’t think he belonged here. And it didn’t seem as if he felt this way because she was a Sub or because he expected her to screw him over in some way but because he simply never had a home. In time, though, he’d change his mind. She just had to make sure he had the time he needed. Granted it was a rough start to a captain-XO relationship. But it was better than the other option—no XO at all.

  It’d been two months since her last XO had been promoted to a different ship and her crew was sick of coming to her with her with every issue onboard. She couldn’t really blame them. She wasn’t always the easiest person to deal with. If they found out she’d had the opportunity for an XO and ignored it after tossing the one Fleet sent, they just might become mutinous. Despite common opinion, she knew her limits. She could survive a lot of things but a mutinous crew wasn’t one of them.

  After walking down the hallway to her bedroom she grabbed a set of workout clothes and a towel and threw them into her duffel before making her way through the maze of corridors to the gym. Dealing with that ass Fleet sent had left her needing a good sweat. And since she wasn’t due on the bridge for another hour there was no reason to deny herself the pleasure of one. Opening the hatch to the co-ed locker room, she grabbed a locker and stripped down to her underwear.

  It’d bothered her to be so naked in front of everyone when she first came onboard the Tempest. But she’d somehow managed to get used to it over the years. Besides, nobody saw her as anything other than the captain now. That hadn’t been the case ten years ago when she’d only been a tactician with the rank of ensign. Everybody had stared at her back then. She’d felt like a fish in an aquarium. It’d been the worst sensation ever. But that was no longer the case. She’d earned her crew members’ respect and no one stared at her anymore.

  She smiled at the truth as she slipped on her workout clothes. In the gym she stretched and then started jogging at a relaxed pace around the track to warm her muscles. It wasn’t a full-sized track. Her ship wasn’t large enough to house a complete one. But it was big enough to work up a sweat.

  She’d run today and work out on the weights tomorrow. That was her routine and she did it without fail. It was important to stay strong. Only the strong survived military service. And she planned on doing better than surviving. She would excel.

  She used that thought as motivation as she began to run seriously. Taking steady breaths, she forced herself to focus on the track in front of her. Nothing else existed and nothing else mattered. At least, nothing did until her lungs burned and her heart raced. And when she was unable to make herself run another lap at the grueling pace, she slowed down to let her body cool. Only after another two laps did she finally allow herself to stop.

  Gasping for air, she bent over to ease the stitch in her side. Every inch of her body hurt but the pain was dull and she knew it would disappear under the warm spray of the shower. She’d lived through worse. Probably would do so again. So she refused to waste any energy whining about it. Forcing herself to stand, she made her way toward the promise of relief.

  The locker room was almost deserted when she walked back through the door. Not a great surprise. It was almost time for lunch and meals were one of the few social activities on the ship. Only a handful of crew members would choose to work out over catching up with the day’s gossip. But since she had little use for gossip, this was the perfect time for her.

  Taking off the sweaty clothes, she shoved them into her locker and grabbed the towel before stepping under the warm jets of water. It was such a small luxury yet the water pelting her sore muscles and then trailing down her skin felt decadent. It was as if fingers were massaging and caressing every inch of her body all at once. And she wanted nothing more than to stay under the warm water all day. But she was the captain and there was a long list of things that needed done. Ignoring it would only make it grow faster.

  She reluctantly turned off the water and then wrapped a towel around her body before stepping back into the locker room. She’d expected to find the room completely deserted this time. But she was wrong. Standing in front of one of the lockers with his back to her was Parker. And he was shirtless.

  She cleared her throat softly to let him know she was there but she instantly recognized her mistake as he turned to face her. Her gaze was drawn to his strong arms then pulled to his chest. There was a long scar that stretched over his left side and ended just over his sternum—his heart. Whatever had caused it had been inches from taking his life. But somehow he’d survived. He’d won.

  Realizing she was staring, she forced herself to look away from him. “Sorry, I didn’t want to startle you.”

  Beautiful…

  It was a stray thought. One she hadn’t meant to pick up. But one that left her acutely aware of her near-nakedness and made her feel vulnerable. Which was an emotion she just didn’t do. She was his captain. His leader. And she was going to have to make sure he understood their relationship.

  She forced her spine to straighten as she walked briskly to her locker and took the towel off without reservation. It was what she needed to do. She had to stay in control of the situation. Show him that he was nothing more than a uniform in her mind.

  As she grabbed her clothes from the locker she refused to think about him. Instead she focused on the list of things that needed her attention as she dressed. Or at least that’d been the plan. But it wasn’t long before Parker’s image intruded on her thoughts. It was maddening and completely inappropriate. They had a major run coming up. Soon her ship would be transporting some of the worst criminals in this quadrant from one side of the galaxy to the other. She didn’t have time for inappropriate right now. But damn it all, it was kind of exciting.

  The wayward thought made her freeze. That she might actually be enjoying the attention of a man was bad enough. But a crew member? That had never happened before. No matter how strong his arms were or how much she loved scars. And she shouldn’t allow it to happen now. But she couldn’t stop herself from looking over her shoulder to find him. Bitter disappointment filled her as she discovered the spot he’d just occupied was now empty.

  What the hell was wrong with her? Now dressed, she slammed the locker shut and grimaced as the accompanying noise echoed eerily through the room and brought her back to her senses. She knew what was wrong. And it didn’t matter how many doors she slammed, her new XO wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Was she comfortable with having a man under her who constantly stared at her ass or came rushing to her defense? Hell no. She was even less comfortable with how her heart raced whenever she caught him thinking about her. But she’d read his file. He was good.

  Yeah, she’d bet he was better than good—at everything.

  A shiver worked through her body at the thought but she quickly pushed the sensation away. He was good at his job, she corrected. And she needed a good XO. Nothing more. She ran a brush through her tangled hair and pull
ed it back into a bun before setting off for the bridge. Her attraction to Max Parker would die down once she got to know him a bit better. As soon as she saw him picking his teeth or heard him whine about the long hours he’d just be another crew member. She was sure of it. And if not, she was a practical woman. There were ways to work the attraction out of their systems before it became a distraction to either of them.

  She smiled at the thought as she pressed her badge against the security plate to open the bridge door. It slid back with a soft whoosh. Smooth as silk. Just how she expected her ship to run.

  The bridge seemed warmer than usual as she moved through the entrance. She guessed it was because she’d just been exercising. Taking off her jacket, she threw it over the back of her chair and then sat down at her monitor and pulled up the list of prisoners they were going to be transporting. There were some high-profile names. But none was more powerful than the father of Prime Minister Lee. Whoever had managed to finally arrest Ahnal Lee must have had balls of steel. The man was notorious even before his son became the Prime Minister. The government feared him for his ability to organize the people and agitate them into a state of civil disobedience. The people loved him because he succeeded in enacting political change where so many failed. The man was a force to be reckoned with. And soon it’d be the Justice Department’s turn to determine his fate. Better them than her. She was glad she was just transporting him.

  “Security to Captain.”

  The voice over her communications badge made her jump. Taking the badge off her jacket, she clipped it to her cami. “Captain here.”

  “We’re experiencing a malfunction in our long-range scanners.”

  “What kind of malfunction?”

  “We’re picking up a lot of subspace static.”

  Shit! “I’m on it.”

  “Yes sir.”

  “Captain out.”

  Closing the file, she stood and grabbed her jacket off the chair. She thought about putting it back on but the suffocating heat of the room was already making her stomach turn. Deciding to just carry it, she threw it over her arm. She’d put it back on later—when she’d cooled down a bit. “I’m going to engineering. Lieutenant Barkswell has the bridge.”

  The tactical officer took a step away from his station and saluted at the order. “Captain?”

  “Yes, Lieutenant Barkswell?”

  “If you’d rather, I could go to engineering for you, sir.”

  The odd request made her pause. Barkswell usually loved any opportunity to be in charge. It was no secret that he wanted to be captain of his own ship one day. And with the way he’d climbed the ranks she had no doubt he’d easily make it to the top. Still, he needed to log more hours on the bridge if he wanted the promotion. “You’re needed here, Officer.”

  “Understood, sir.” He went back to his station but not before she saw the telltale grimace of frustration. Shaking her head, she left the bridge and started down one of the corridors. She could read his thoughts easily enough and find out what was bothering him but her crew members trusted her to respect their privacy and their trust was more important than whatever was bothering Barkswell. Sure, she heard the occasional thoughts that they screamed at her. But she never went digging for information. And she didn’t plan to start snooping on her crew today. She’d just have to let it go and accept that it was going to be one of those days, filled to the brim with weirdness.

  The corridors were busy as people returned to their stations from lunch and the extra traffic made it hard to navigate at times. Maybe if it hadn’t been so busy and if she hadn’t been slightly preoccupied she might have seen him sooner. As it was she was lucky she saw him in time to avoid colliding with him.

  “Parker.”

  “Captain.”

  Parker stopped in front of her. His black hair was still damp from a recent shower and he’d changed from his workout clothes into a pair black fatigues and a white tank.

  “All settled in?”

  “Getting there, sir.”

  “Good.” She went to take a step away from him but he put his hand on her arm to stop her. His touch sent a spark through her and his thoughts tumbled into her mind wildly. It was euphoric to lose herself to him and his memories yet terrifying at the same time. Hissing, she backed away from him quickly. “Don’t touch me!”

  “I’m sorry, sir.” His face was pale and his voice soft.

  She shook her head in an attempt to clear it but his touch had formed a channel between them. Placing her palm on the cool metal of the wall, she focused on the empty smoothness. Most people thought of her telepathy as a gift. They never saw it as the weakness it could become. She could easily lose herself in another’s thoughts if she allowed it. Thankfully the metal’s absence of life gave her the strength to break the connection with Parker and untangle his thoughts from hers. It was the other reason she insisted on the entire ship being made of metal. Though she kept that one a firm secret.

  Finally. She was alone again. Taking a deep, cleansing breath, she recomposed herself. “It’s nothing. I am needed in engineering, though.”

  “But—” This time he didn’t move to touch her.

  “Later, Parker. We can talk about whatever it is later.”

  She didn’t wait for a reply as she walked around him. The connection had been broken but his mind was trying to reestablish itself with hers. He wasn’t doing it intentionally of course but she could feel him pressing in on her and she needed distance—now.

  Engineering wasn’t far from her but it was far enough to give her a few minutes of solitude, which she spent trying not to process the remnants of Parker’s thoughts. He was entitled to his privacy just as much as any other member of her crew. But it was harder to ignore memories and emotions once they’d been funneled into her head. Of course, having a mechanical issue on her ship did help. Opening the hatch to engineering, she forced herself to focus on the crisis at hand. She needed the long-range scanners in tiptop shape. They were her eyes.

  “Commander Vance.”

  “Yes, Captain?” The balding, middle-aged man stepped out from behind a large computer station. He was one of the few people who’d been assigned to the Tempest even before she had. His continued presence was a comfort to her—a reminder that some things didn’t change.

  “Security says there’s static on the long-range scanners.” She went over to the imaging machines to see for herself. Sure enough, the screens were practically unreadable.

  “We’ve been picking up some unusual frequencies lately. I’m sure it’s just solar flares or some other natural phenomenon though. Nothing suspicious.”

  “Have you checked the cables?”

  “No.” His voice was dry with sarcasm. “I’m only an engineering specialist. Loose cables are way above my level of expertise.”

  “Okay. Okay. I get it. Sorry. I didn’t mean to question your competence.” She took a deep breath and stared at the screen again. “Still, for my peace of mind, run a level-seven diagnostic and send me the results. We’re doing the Salaan run in two weeks. This ship has to be in perfect working order.”

  “Understood, Captain.”

  “Good. Let’s get this resolved and pray for a smooth couple of weeks.”

  “Will do.”

  She nodded encouragingly to Vance. He was damn good at his job. If he said there was nothing worth worrying about, she believed him.

  Chapter Three

  Parker stood and watched her walk away until he could no longer see her in the rush of people walking through the corridors. He could only imagine how ridiculous he looked as he stared off into space like a zombie but he couldn’t seem to make himself care. She had been inside his head. He’d felt her there the moment his hand touched her. And he’d liked her there.

  He shook his head and took a deep breath to steady himself. He needed to go back to his quarters. That way no one would see him walking around with an impressive hard-on his first day on the ship. He really didn’t want to
be known as “the woody guy”.

  His foot felt heavy with his first step. But the second was easier. And by the third he was almost back to normal. Thankfully his head had started to clear as well. Sure, he still remembered what it felt like to have her in his mind but it was in an objective way.

  The metal walls blurred in his peripheral vision as he continued down the passages. He couldn’t find his way to his quarters blindfolded yet but the ship’s layout was fairly intuitive. Which was nice. It allowed him to think about other things as he walked. And the only thing he wanted to think about was Harlow.

  She’d seemed self-confident and distant when he’d spoken with her in her quarters. She handled herself with poise and dignity when she’d tossed Speck off her ship. So he hadn’t expected the gentle comfort that’d accompanied her consciousness. Nor had he expected the soul-sucking loneliness. He’d wanted to wrap her in his arms and tell her everything would be okay. It was a position he’d never found himself in before. And after her lecture about knights in shining armor he was pretty certain she wouldn’t be any more comfortable with her role in that scenario than he was.

  When he came to his quarters he placed his badge on the security panel and the door swooshed open. “Lights.” At his order the room was illuminated in soft light. His quarters had been his first priority after meeting with Harlow and now his stuff was all put away and his bed was neatly made. Everything was in its place and exactly as he liked it.

  The door shut as he stepped over the threshold and cocooned him in the comforting space. He needed to rest. Once he’d caught up on his sleep he’d forget about the contact. Though it’d probably be hard to ever forget about the tug of desire that accompanied Harlow’s loneliness.

  He sucked in a ragged breath at the memory of it. Her hunger had been so sharp and hot that it’d swept through his blood like a roaring inferno. He cursed softly as he crossed the room. No. There was no way he’d ever forget that.