Broken Hearts (Light in the Dark Book 5)

by Micalea Smeltzer

  We all pile the food onto our plates—some pasta dish I found the recipe for online. It smells delicious and my mouth waters.

  “So,” Thea begins around a mouthful of food, “Jace and Nova have some news.”

  Rae and Cade look at us, waiting for us to elaborate.

  “You tell them.” I nudge Jace’s shoulder.

  He smiles at me, and in his smile I see all the love he has for me. It’s overflowing and it hits me like a freight train. I’m lucky to have someone who loves me this much, so much so they’re willing to fight for me, for us, in the darkest moments of our life.

  “We’re having a baby,” he tells them.

  “Oh, my God!” Rae cries. “That’s amazing!” I can see tears in her eyes.

  “Congrats, guys,” Cade adds, clapping hands with Jace.

  “There’s more that you don’t know,” I add.

  “More?” Thea interjects.

  I grin at Jace as he adjusts his hold on Xael.

  “We’re having twins—identical twins.”

  “Holy shit,” Thea curses.

  “Shit!” Xael echoes and we all laugh—all except Xander who glares at Thea.

  “Twins?” Rae asks. “Seriously?”

  “Yep, seriously.” I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. “It’s a shock.”

  “Twins will be so cool, though,” Thea rambles. “Imagine all the tiny matching outfits—we’re going shopping, don’t even think about saying no.”

  I laugh and raise my hands innocently. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

  “Can you believe it, guys?” Xander asks.

  “What?” I ask.

  He shakes his dark hair out of his eyes and smiles down at Xoey before looking back up at all of us.

  “We did it—we’re grown up, and living our lives the way we all always dreamed off. I think we’re pretty lucky.”

  I absorb his words and look around at all my friends, who are happily living their lives, doing what they love.

  Finally, I look at Jace.

  My love.

  My life.

  My soulmate.

  We’ve been through hell and back, and I’m sure there will only be more hurdles, no one ever said life was easy or smooth sailing.

  But with him, and my friends, trusting myself and not getting scared again, I know we can handle anything.

  Nova

  Seven Months Later

  “You can do it,” Jace encourages. “You’ve got this. We’re going to meet our babies. You’re almost there.”

  I squeeze my eyes closed and push. My body is damp with sweat, and I’m sure I look a mess, but none of it matters.

  We’re minutes away from meeting our babies.

  The last seven months have been an adventure.

  Jace sold Broken Hearts and it’s now all over the radio being sung by one of the current hottest artists in the world.

  Thanks to its success he’s already contracted for more songs—and I know all those will be hits too.

  We bought our first house, a decent sized home close to the city since neither of us wanted to be too far away. We’ve put a ton of love and care into it, making it ours, and getting it ready for the babies. We know once they come, nothing will ever be the same again.

  Joel’s and my business has been doing really well. It’s still a work in progress, it’s still a young business, but I think within the next year we’ll be able to do it full time.

  “Give a big push, Nova,” Dr. Illias tells me. “You’re about to meet baby number one.”

  Jace presses his lips to the side of my head. “Come on, baby.”

  “Any last guesses on gender?” Dr. Illias asks. “I can tell you baby number one has a ton of blonde hair.”

  I shake my head. The whole pregnancy I’ve had no guess whether it was two boys or two girls. It doesn’t matter to me. All that matters is they’re healthy. Jace and I decided early on we didn’t want to know the genders. Some things aren’t important.

  “Push, push, push.”

  I squeeze Jace’s hand and push with everything I have and then …

  The most beautiful sound in the world fills the room.

  Our baby’s cry.

  “It’s a girl!”

  I burst into tears and Jace kisses me.

  “We have two daughters,” he breathes, awe in his voice and tears pooling in his eyes.

  They take the baby to clean her up and after a brief break it’s time to push again.

  I grip Jace’s hand and push as hard as I can, my heart beating rapidly.

  “She’s right here,” Dr. Illias says. “Two more pushes and she’ll be here.”

  I close my eyes and push, losing my breath.

  “One more.”

  I inhale and push again.

  More crying fills the air and I open my eyes to see my squirming baby. Dr. Illias cleans out her mouth and turns her so we can see her. She’s squishy and pink and covered in goo, but she’s perfect.

  They both are.

  In a matter of minutes we’ve gone from the two of us, to the four of us.

  They take the baby over to where her sister is to clean her up too.

  Jace pushes my sweaty hair off my forehead and looks at me with awe.

  “You’re the most amazing person I know.”

  I laugh, my head sagging with exhaustion. “You must not know many people then.”

  He smiles and kisses my forehead. “Only the important ones.” He gazes down at me, like he can’t believe this is real. “You’re the only person in the world I’d ever want a family with—thank you for giving me this.”

  I take his hand. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”

  “Never.” He bends and kisses me, stealing my breath.

  “Mom, Dad, are you ready to see your girls?”

  The nurse stands there holding both of our daughters.

  “Yes,” we say simultaneously.

  We’ve been waiting for this moment for far too long.

  “Baby number one” —she hands me one— “and baby number two.” She gives the other to Jace.

  As soon as the baby is in my arms I cry, again, I can’t help it.

  This, right here, is a miracle in the physical form.

  “Hi, sweetie, I’m your mommy.” I look down at the pink bundle in my arms and she yawns. Even her yawns are tiny and perfect like her. Like the doctor said, blonde hair peeks out beneath her hat. Her little fist breaks free and I give her my finger. She wraps her tiny fingers around mine and I’m lost.

  Every horrible thing I’ve been through in my life is worth it for this moment, knowing these two tiny humans are mine.

  I look up at Jace and I can see he’s falling in love like I am.

  “So, do we have names?” Dr. Illias asks, watching us with a smile.

  I look at Jace and he looks back at me with a smile.

  “This,” I start, smiling down at the beautiful baby in my arms, “is Astrid.”

  “And this,” Jace adds, “is Elise.”

  “Beautiful names for beautiful babies.”

  It feels like hours before the doctor and nurses are out of the room and Jace and I are finally alone with our girls.

  He climbs into bed beside me and we sit there, looking at our daughters, still in shock that they’re here and they’re ours.

  I’m pretty sure life doesn’t get more perfect than this.

  I look up at Jace watching as he smiles down at Elise.

  The fact we’ve made it here is crazy. We’re starting another chapter of our life, together, and I know it’s going to be a wild but exciting ride, and there’s no one else I’d rather go through this journey with.

  “Confession—” I whisper and he turns his attention to me. “I used to dream in black and white but now it’s in color, and it’s all because of you.”

  Everything I am, and will be, is because of him.

  Jace

  Five Years Later

  “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!”
r />   My two little dynamites barrel into my legs.

  “Whoa, slow down, ladies.”

  They giggle and smile up at me with matching grins. Their blond hair is a curly mess and their green eyes are alight with mischief. They look a lot like me, if I do say so myself, but they thankfully got Nova’s freckles.

  “Mommy said you’d play dress up with us when you got home. You’re home,” Astrid tells me, like I don’t realize I’m home.

  Astrid is the mouthier of the twins. Elise tends to sit back and let her sister talk for her.

  “Is that what Mommy said, huh?” I ask, setting my bag down.

  I’ve been gone for three days. I had to fly to L.A. to record some songs.

  When one of the producers I was selling my songs to got wind I sing too and he heard my voice, he begged me to sign.

  I didn’t want to, because I didn’t want to be away from Nova and the kids, but she told me if I didn’t take the offer I was an idiot.

  So what do you do when the woman you love says you’re an idiot?

  You prove to her you’re not.

  So I took the deal, and I’ve been working on my album for the last year. It’s due to release in two months, and this trip was to re-record some things that needed to be touched up.

  “Yeah—can we do your makeup too?” Astrid asks.

  I chuckle. “Why can’t you play with Mommy?”

  “Because we want to play with you.”

  Fuck it if my heart doesn’t melt at her words.

  “Fine, let me unpack and then we can play.”

  “Yay!” Astrid cries, clapping her hands. “I love you, Daddy.” She hugs my legs.

  I bend down and hug her tighter. She smells like her princess shampoo. I never realize how much I miss something as simple as that until I’m gone for a little while.

  “I love you too.”

  She lets me go and runs off.

  Elise looks after her sister, but turns back to me with a cute angel like smile.

  “Love you, Daddy.” She hugs me too and then kisses me before running off after her sister.

  “Love you, lady bug,” I call after her, but I doubt she hears me.

  I take my suitcase to the laundry room and dump out my dirty clothes, sticking them in the washer.

  I haven’t heard a peep out of Nova, so I have no idea where she might be.

  I zip my suitcase back up and carry it upstairs to our bedroom to put away.

  I stop in the doorway when I find her lying in the bed beside our one-month-old son, Parker.

  She opens her eyes and smiles at me.

  Like always, she takes my breath away, and I question how I got so fucking lucky to call this person mine.

  “You’re home,” she whispers so she doesn’t wake the sleeping baby.

  “I’m home,” I whisper back.

  I set the suitcase down and kick off my shoes, creeping across the floor to climb in the bed so the baby is between us.

  “I missed you.” I lean over to kiss her. She tastes sweet like my favorite cake.

  “We missed you too.”

  I place my hand on Parker’s belly and kiss his cheek. He stirs, but doesn’t wake. His hair is dark like Nova’s, and we have no way of knowing what his eye color will be yet but I’m hoping for brown.

  The girls come running into the room and we quickly motion for them to slow down.

  They do, tiptoeing over to the bed and climbing up so they sit by our feet.

  I look at them, Parker, and finally, Nova.

  Across the room on the dresser is a picture of Greyson in his little league uniform, and a framed ultrasound photo of Beckett is on the opposite side.

  All of us are here, all seven us.

  Greyson might be adopted, and Beckett might not be here with us, but none of that matters.

  A family is what you choose for it to be.

  And we choose this.

  We choose us.

  Cade

  “Once upon a time, a handsome prince knocked down a beautiful princess from a far away kingdom when he was playing football. The princess was angry with the prince for knocking her down and didn’t want anything to do with him. But the prince knew when he saw her she was the one. The princess tried to ignore him but the prince wasn’t easily thwarted by her efforts—”

  “Cade! Are you telling the kids our story again?” Rae asks, breezing into the playroom.

  I sit on the floor, surrounded by our three-year-old son, James, and our one-and-a-half-year-old daughter, Gabby.

  “It’s their favorite,” I defend.

  “Is it their favorite or yours?” Rae asks, sitting down beside me cross-legged.

  I grin. “Both.”

  She laughs, and she looks radiant.

  I’m not lying, though, I knew from the moment I saw her she was the one. There was no way I was letting her get away.

  Some people are worth fighting for, and I knew she was one of those people.

  Now, here we are married, with two kids, and another on the way.

  “This boy is giving me a time.” She places a hand on her round stomach. “He kicks all the time.”

  I place my hand on her stomach and feel a solid kick.

  “He’s going to be a football player like I was.”

  Rae laughs and Gabby climbs into her lap, sucking on her thumb. Gabby has Rae’s dark hair, cute nose, lips and my blue eyes. James has my sandy hair, blue eyes, but his face is all Rae. So is his sassy attitude. Rae doesn’t take any shit from anyone, and James is no different.

  Time outs? Nice try—the kid knows he can get up and leave the chair.

  Rae leans her head on my shoulder and James plays with his car in front of us, the story long forgotten.

  “So, what happens next?” Rae asks.

  “Well, the handsome prince gets the princess to fall in love with him.”

  “Of course he does.” She laughs.

  “And then they get married—”

  “And live happily ever after?” She lifts her head and looks at me with a smile.

  “And live happily ever after.”

  Xander

  “Mommy! Daddy! Get up! Get up!”

  I’m jolted awake by tiny feet jumping on our bed.

  I crack open my eyes and find Xael, Xoey, and Xara, jumping on the bed.

  “Careful,” I warn and grab Xara. She laughs as she falls to the bed in my arms. She’s just shy of three years old and sometimes I worry about all the trouble her older sisters seem to drag her into. They forget she’s not as big as them.

  “What are you three doing?” Thea asks, cracking an eye open.

  “It’s time to get up, the sun’s out,” Xoey declares.

  Thea glares at me. “I’m going to kill you for teaching them that.”

  “My teacher says kill is not a nice word,” Xael whisper-hisses to Thea.

  Thea sighs. “I’m going to … cuddle you,” she amends.

  I grin. “Sounds fun, sweetheart.”

  She swats me with a spare pillow and I laugh, Xara wiggling in my arms.

  The baby begins to cry and Thea groans. “You go get the baby,” she tells me.

  I let go of Xara and she scurries across the bed on her hands and knees to Thea.

  Thea’s face lights up and she tickles Xara. Xara’s laughter fills the room, and the other girls hurry to their mom’s side.

  For all of Thea’s griping and complaining, I know she loves those girls with all her heart. Watching her with them has been one of the greatest experiences of my life. I accept her complaining as a way to fuck with me—it’s her favorite past-time.

  I head across the hall to the baby’s room.

  I find him wiggling unhappily in his crib. His legs and fists flailing through the air.

  “Hey, bud.” I pick him up and toss him into the air slightly. Instantly, his cries stop and he starts laughing.

  Xane joined our family six months ago.

  Thea and I made a deal after Xoey�
�we’d stop having kids when we got a boy, or when we got to five, whichever came first.

  I may have wanted five kids, but I think my family is perfect the way it is.

  I head back across the hall and climb into bed with Thea and the girls.

  All the girls take turns kissing Xane on the top of his head. I was worried they’d be jealous of him, since he’s a boy, but they’ve all been perfect.

  I recline my back against the headboard and bounce Xane on my legs. His baby giggles make us all laugh—there’s something so amusing about how easily babies laugh.

  I glance over at Thea as she watches me, our daughters piled between us, and I know there’s no place I’d rather be than here with them.

  When I first got my diagnosis of chronic end stage kidney disease, I honestly thought I’d never finish this book. Between the procedures, surgeries, doctors, dialysis, etc, I felt like I had no life. I went from being a full-time writer to having my whole life upended. Most days the dialysis made me too tired to write. Dialysis is no joke, and it’s hard on your body. But I was desperate to write. My diagnosis had already taken so much from me, and I refused to let it take the thing I loved the most. So, I adjusted and made time to write. Some days I even wrote while I was at dialysis since while I used a catheter I could. To get to this point, to the end, not only of the book but of the series as a whole, feels like a huge accomplishment. Maybe even more so than finishing my first book, because I managed to do this all while going through all of this. Jace and Nova held my hand through one of the darkest times of my life, and for that they’ll always hold a special place in my heart. I don’t feel like this is the end; it’s only the beginning.

  Thank you to my mom who’s been there for me every step of the way with my diagnosis and dialysis. This has been hard on you too, but thank you for being there for me. Thank you for encouraging me to write and get on with my life. This one’s for you.

  I can’t leave my dad out, either. You’ve always been there for me and this is no different. Right now, this all feels like it’ll take forever, but I also know it’s temporary. I’m going to get a transplant and feel better than ever and hopefully be there to help others through this. I have you to thank for my optimism. Even though some days I want to give up, they’re few and far between, if they were more often this process would suck a lot more than it does.