A Blessing for Miriam

by Jerry S. Eicher

  Glen gave Shirley a sideways glance. “Did I say something to disturb you? I’m sorry if I did.”

  Shirley shook her head. “It’s not that. I was just thinking.”

  “I see,” Glen said. Silence fell again, and he broke it a few minutes later. “I’m sure your Uncle William found peace with your Aunt Fannie. Daett said William was so happy when he began dating his Amish girlfriend. Daett even introduced us at a wedding once. She’s a very nice woman. No man who married her would have regrets.”

  “That’s nice of you to say.” Shirley smiled. Her problem wasn’t Uncle William. She was worried about her own heart—and that was something she wasn’t ready to share with Glen.

  The man seemed to read her thoughts though. “Has Jonas Beachy—that boy in whose car you wrecked—been in touch with you?”

  “Jealous?” Shirley forced herself to tease.

  Glen smiled. “I hope not. I have no claim on you, though if I were him, I’d sure make contact.”

  Shirley looked away. “Jonas stopped by, but I told him not to come back anymore. We are worlds apart—have always been, really. Jonas understands that. He and his family aren’t part of the Amish community.” Shirley kept her voice steady. “I don’t want his attention because of pity for the way I look.”

  Glen looked like he wanted to say something but kept silent.

  The noises of a crowd of people and horses rose in the distance. “That’s the stockyards,” Glen said. “Where the auction is held.”

  “Okay.” Shirley forced herself to chatter cheerfully as they approached the site. “It’s exciting, these auctions. At least the few times I’ve been to one with Lee and Mark. Especially when horses are involved. They are such beautiful animals. I like to think they’ll find homes where they’re wanted and loved. Makes you want to buy all of them yourself and fill up the barn.”

  Glen didn’t appear scornful at her impracticality. He nodded as if he agreed and brought Duke to stop. Leaping down, he grabbed the tie rope. Shirley followed and stood by his side while he tied Duke securely to a hitching rack. All around them the roar of the auctioneer’s voice through loudspeakers could be heard. Glen grinned as he shouted above the din. “Want to get something to eat first?”

  “Yah,” she hollered back. Now that she thought about food, she was starved.

  “This way,” he gestured. “The best-made sandwiches are at the Troyer’s stand.”

  Shirley kept close to him as the crush of people increased. True to Glen’s statement, the Amish selection of meats and cheeses was extensive. A cheerful, young girl waited on her. Shirley selected pan-roasted turkey, German bologna, and corned beef. To this she added butter cheese and lacey Swiss.

  “That should be gut,” the young girl said with a bright smile.

  Glen ordered after her, and Shirley waited for him. Together they walked to the bleachers and found comfortable seats near the ringside.

  “These spots aren’t open often,” Glen hollered to Shirley.

  “Maybe someone just left,” she said.

  He nodded and settled in. In front of them horses were being led back and forth in a corral by young boys, while the auctioneer blared away from his stand high on the other side.

  Shirley didn’t know much about auctioneering, but the man sounded like an expert. And he was Amish, which didn’t surprise her. The Ordnung among all the districts left that career field open to Amish men with the talent.

  Glen sent a warm smile toward Shirley.

  They had so many things in common, Shirley thought. They both love horses, and auctions, and Troyer’s sandwiches. That wasn’t much, of course, but it was a start. Could she fall in love with Glen? Shirley glanced his way, and Glen smiled again. There was definitely a warm feeling that filled her when she was around him. That much she knew. But love was another matter. And if she were honest, her heart still pined for Jonas. She didn’t want to admit that fact, but it was true. How Uncle William had dealt with his love for an Englisha girl was something she wished she could ask him. Maybe Aunt Fannie could tell her sometime. As his frau, Aunt Fannie would surely know Uncle William’s secrets. Married couples lived that way—intimate in spirit and fact.

  Shirley could easily imagine a no-secrets life with Glen, but this wasn’t the time to think of such things. She was here to enjoy the evening, and her relationship with Glen was still at the friendship stage. That was gut enough for now. She would be thankful for what the Lord gave and not ask for more. Jonas had been a once-in-a-lifetime experience. And, truthfully, it was one she wasn’t sure the Lord had sent her way. She took another bite of her delicious sandwich and gave Glen a gentle nudge with her shoulder.

  He grinned but said nothing as the auction excitement continued around them.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Ivan pushed open the barn door and led Beauty outside. Laura’s mamm had stopped by right after they’d finished supper and was still in the house. Her horse neighed at the sight of Beauty, and Ivan kept a tight grip on her bridle. The two horses shook their heads at each other, but they soon settled down. Ivan stroked Beauty’s neck and led her toward their buggy. He’d finished his chores while he waited on Rachel to leave. What the two women spoke of, he didn’t have to think long to imagine.

  Esther’s situation in Oklahoma occupied a large portion of Laura’s waking hours. Rachel thought Esther should ease up on her advances toward Miriam’s boyfriend, Wayne. That surprised Ivan. Laura was of a contrary opinion, and Wayne had thought the two sisters had received their attitudes from their mamm. That thought hadn’t comforted him in a way. It also supported his own feelings against Laura’s viewpoint. He’d have to take up the issue with Laura once Rachel left. From what he’d heard, Esther had apologized to Miriam and might be persuaded to stick with her attempt at repentance—if Laura didn’t encourage Esther in the other direction.

  Laura hadn’t shown him the letters she’d written Esther this week, but he could guess what they’d contained. He’d bring that issue up too. Laura had a right to private letters to her sister, but not if they contained instructions he didn’t agree with. He was the head of their home. He would stand his ground. He assumed Rachel was attempting to do the same at the moment. From the length of the conversation in the house, he figured the matter wasn’t settled. Laura wouldn’t back down easily from her position. She had too much invested already.

  Ivan backed Beauty between the buggy shafts and fastened the tugs. Laura had wanted to accompany him into town for the grocery items they needed. But if they wished to reach town before dark, they’d have to leave soon. Perhaps he should interfere and take up the matter about Esther with Rachel present for support. Ivan glanced toward the house. He shook his head. Let Rachel speak her mind, and he would stand on his own two feet later. He would have done so a long time ago if his own standing hadn’t been so shaky. But that was in the past now. He was married to Laura, and he must let go of his need to justify his choices…and so must Laura.

  The front door opened. Rachel came out with her shawl wrapped tightly around her shoulders.

  Ivan untied Rachel’s horse from the hitching post and turned the buggy toward the lane. Rachel gave him a grateful smile. “Thanks, Ivan.”

  “Tough conversation with Laura?” he asked.

  “You could say that.” Rachel’s smile vanished. “What I did wrong raising my girls, I can’t imagine.”

  “Esther’s not the first girl who has kissed someone else’s boyfriend.” Ivan chuckled to lighten the mood.

  Rachel gave him a sharp glance. “Did you steal Laura from someone?”

  Ivan laughed. “Not that I know of.”

  “But Laura stole you from someone—that I do know.”

  The laughter died in Ivan’s throat.

  Rachel shook her head. “It’s such a disgrace, that’s all I can say. But, thank the Lord, Laura at least got a decent husband.”

  “Thank you,” Ivan responded. “You have a gut evening now.”

&n
bsp; “And you too.” Rachel climbed into her buggy and drove off down the lane.

  Ivan watched for a few moments before he walked toward the house. Laura had been in her work dress when he’d seen her last. She hadn’t changed yet, he was sure. They wouldn’t leave for town until she had. He might as well wait in the house. Maybe she’d take the hint and hurry.

  Ivan opened the front door. Faint noises came from the bedroom, so he settled on the couch. Laura stuck her head out moments later. “You can clean the kitchen while you wait.”

  A retort rose to his lips but he stifled it.

  Laura smiled and disappeared into the bedroom again.

  He should take up reading The Budget, Ivan told himself. He glanced into the kitchen. Laura had moved the dirty dishes to the counter, and the table was clean. He’d help Laura finish after they returned from town, he decided. He returned to the living room. “Laura, hurry up! We need to leave.”

  A loud protest came from the bedroom, but Ivan couldn’t make out the words. He squared his shoulders. It was time he was the man of the house. This would be a little practice for the conversation that lay ahead of them. He took a deep breath and said, “I’m leaving in five minutes. I’m waiting by the buggy.”

  Hurried sounds came from the bedroom as he walked out of the house. Now what would he do? Did he have enough nerve to leave without Laura? Yah, he would. He’d get into the buggy and drive out the lane. He usually shopped by himself anyway…at least ever since Laura became pregnant.

  Just as Ivan was untying Beauty, Laura rushed out of the house, sputtering. “In my condition, Ivan! How dare you!”

  “It’s time to go.” He calmly climbed into the buggy and waited for her.

  “You could have done the dishes.” She came to a stop by the buggy step. “And am I getting no help to climb in?”

  Ivan didn’t move. “You’re not that far along, and you need the exercise.”

  Her face puckered and tears threatened. “How cruel is that, Ivan? And after Mamm already gave me a lecture tonight.”

  “I’m sure you needed it,” he said. “Now climb in.”

  Laura did so—rather carefully. She cast a nasty look Ivan’s way. “What has gotten into you? And Mamm’s no better. You’re both on the warpath.”

  “Maybe someone needs to put their foot down,” Ivan said, as he drove Beauty out to the main street.

  “If this is about Esther, you have no room to talk. You certainly didn’t seem to mind my attentions when everyone knew you and Miriam were sweet on each other. What’s wrong with Esther doing the same thing?”

  “Is that what you told your mamm?”

  Laura sniffed. “No, of course not. But so what?”

  “You normally tell your mamm everything. You didn’t tell her because you knew it wasn’t right.”

  Her silence was answer enough, but it didn’t last long. “You liked my attentions, Ivan, and that’s that. I’m sure Wayne will feel the same way once he and Esther are wed and settled in.”

  “So you think you can persuade Esther to go back on her apology and try for Wayne’s affections?”

  “Yah, but she doesn’t need my encouragement. She’ll do it because it’s what she wants.”

  Ivan had no answer for that. Laura was probably right.

  Sensing her advantage, Laura turned to another subject. “Why didn’t you do the supper dishes while you were waiting?”

  Ivan pulled up to a stop sign. “We’ll take care of that when we get back.” In the silence that followed, Ivan gathered his courage. “You will write Esther and tell her that your opinion has changed.”

  “But it hasn’t.” Laura’s voice was sharp.

  “Then it will!”

  “Now you’re the one who’s making no sense.”

  “I’m making perfect sense. This has gone on long enough, and I’ll not have you be involved in Miriam losing a boyfriend she’s engaged to.”

  Icy silence filled the buggy.

  “I won’t,” he repeated. “And you will listen and obey.”

  She titled her head. “So you think our marriage was a mistake? Is that what you’re saying? That you wish you were wed to Miriam instead?”

  Ivan kept his gaze on the road. “That’s avoiding the subject, and you know it. We’re married now, and it’s time we act like it.”

  She glanced down at her midsection. “I think there’s plenty of signs already that we’re married. I also think Esther should get the man of her dreams. After all, I did.”

  His protest died in his throat, but he rallied quickly. “I wasn’t dating Miriam, so that was different. And you will write Esther and say what your mamm and I think…and that you’re withdrawing your support. That’s the least you can do.”

  Laura took a deep breath. “What’s happening to you, Ivan? What’s happening to us?”

  “Nothing. But this situation with Esther isn’t right.”

  He tightened the reins as they approached the busy State Route 39. He leaned out of the buggy to turn on the extra flasher. Dusk was the most dangerous time to travel, but the tourists were usually careful. The locals were used to buggy traffic. But not far from here he’d witnessed the wreck involving Jonas and his convertible. At least jumping deer didn’t harm buggies. Ivan grinned at the thought. No deer in history had ever attacked a buggy that he knew of.

  Laura glared at him. “It’s not funny, and I don’t like it when we quarrel.”

  “Sorry,” he said easily. “I was thinking of something else.”

  She didn’t ask what, and the sounds of busy traffic settled around them as they drove north toward Berlin. He’d be happy once they were off the main road. This quarrel had made him nervous. He ought to apologize to Laura, but how could he do that? Still, he should try. Ivan cleared his throat. “I’m sorry about tonight. I wasn’t trying to be harsh and all that, but something must be done about how you’re encouraging Esther. Your mamm is right on that subject.”

  Laura didn’t move for a moment, but she soon slipped her hand around his arm. She nestled her head against his shoulder. “Are you trying to be the man of the house now?”

  Warmth crept up his shoulder. “Maybe.”

  “I like it,” she whispered. “But I can’t write the letter you want. Mamm will write Esther. I’ll say nothing. That’s the best I can do.”

  He couldn’t force her, Ivan figured. So why push the fight further?

  “Thank you,” she whispered, “for being understanding.”

  Laura knew him too well, Ivan told himself. That was what he’d always liked about her. She touched his heart even when she did things he didn’t approve of. He was right to take this stand. Even Laura could see this was no reflection on their situation. He was a happily married man with a child on the way.

  Ivan slipped Laura’s hand off his arm and then pulled her closer.

  “Are you happy you married me?” Her face was turned up toward him.

  “Of course.” He smiled down at her. “You’re a wunderbah woman.”

  “Even when I’m headstrong?”

  He chuckled. “Yah, even then. I like spunk.”

  “Oh, Ivan!” She leaned against his shoulder. “I’m still not writing Esther…”

  Her words were interrupted by a sudden screech of brakes. Ivan sat up straight and grasped the reins. Beauty had drifted across the yellow center line! He yanked on the reins, but it was too late. With the buggy halfway turned on the road, the oncoming car hit his side of the buggy.

  Weightlessness hit Ivan, and he blacked out for a moment. His body smacking the pavement when he landed sent a surge of pain through him. He cried out as something huge catapulted by him. There was a loud crunch of steel. Ivan groped with both hands in the darkness, but he found only rough stones. He tried to focus. Where was Laura? He tried to stand, but he fell flat on his face. He lifted his head again to see the heavy mass of Beauty illuminated in front of him. Must be headlights on, he thought. Laura’s horse didn’t move. Ivan passed his
hand over his eyes to clear them. Blood stuck to his fingers, and he could feel it smear across his face. His head throbbed with severe intensity.

  “Laura!” he called out.

  A man’s voice answered. “Hold still, please. You’ve been injured. Help’s on the way.”

  “Laura,” he tried again. “Laura, where are you?”

  “He’s calling for a woman!” The man seemed to be speaking to someone else. “Look around, will you?”

  “She’s over here in the ditch,” a voice soon called. “She seems to be badly injured.”

  “Don’t touch her until help arrives,” the man ordered.

  “Laura!” Ivan shouted. He tried to move, but nothing seemed to work in his body. Laura will be okay, he told himself. The car had hit his side of the buggy. If he was alive, Laura should have fared even better. Blackness threatened and then overwhelmed him. He drifted into nothingness.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Miriam drove Sally home from the schoolhouse. She glanced toward the west. The sky was dark with clouds seemingly as low as the horizon. She wasn’t used to such displays in the sky. The weather this afternoon had been as stormy as the news had been in the community this week.

  Esther Swartz had rushed home to attend her sister’s funeral after the tragic car and buggy accident late Friday night. Miriam wouldn’t wish anything bad on Esther, let alone her sister’s death. But the Lord made His choices, and they often weren’t easily explained.

  Now Ivan was a widower. A tremble ran through Miriam at the thought. She could have been the one in Ivan’s buggy instead of Laura. Would she have been prepared to cross over to the other side on such short notice? Likely neither Ivan nor Laura had been aware of the soon-to-happen disaster. From what she’d heard, the two had been on the way to Berlin for some shopping. They may not have had any warning at all.