The Holiday Kiss

by Maggie Dallen

  Right?

  I shoved more popcorn in my mouth and heaved a sigh. Like I said, things had taken a turn from confusing to extremely confusing. What I’d thought would solve the riddle had only made it more complicated, it seemed.

  Unless I was overthinking it.

  Just then there was a knock on the door. When I threw it open my heart went into overdrive. My body had the same reaction it would have to going on a roller coaster…or running into an ax murderer. Or both at the same time. It was excitement and terror rolled into one with a heaping dose of anxiety.

  And desire.

  It seemed kissing Luke had intensified my chemical response to him rather than dilute it. That thought had me frowning up at him as I tried to make sense of it. Wasn’t exposure to these hormones supposed to negate their effect?

  Maybe it just took time. A steady stream of inundation into the system to flood the receptors and make me immune.

  He gave me a lopsided grin and my heart responded by kicking it up another notch. Partly because his smile was hot, but also because I’d just realized that inundating the system meant more kissing.

  Lots and lots more kissing.

  I felt my own lips twitching up in response to his smile and soon we were standing there smiling at one another like mute idiots.

  Finally, I came to my senses because I realized my mom was behind me, presumably watching the movie but likely listening to everything we were—and were not—saying. I nodded past him toward the courtyard. “Want to walk?”

  He nodded then shouted a “Merry Christmas” to my mom. She called out in response and I clearly heard the laughter in her voice. She must have been loving this. She always did find my awkwardness entertaining.

  We headed toward the beach without talking about it. When we were out of view of the hotel he pulled me toward him and I forgot about the nervousness and the unsettled feeling and all the other crap going on in my jumbled brain.

  All I was aware of was the feel of him, the smell of him, the way he was looking at me like I was the only person on the planet. On this beach, at the very least. When he dipped his head I couldn’t even hold that thought in my mind. I went blank. My brain checked out as my body and that damned lizard brain reigned supreme.

  When his lips finally met mine I sighed with relief. This was the bliss, the release, the sweet burst of dopamine that I’d been craving ever since we’d reluctantly parted ways last night. Both of our families were expecting us and it wasn’t like we could spend all night on the beach together, as pleasant as that might sound.

  He kissed me with a fierceness and a tenderness—I don’t even know how to explain it. His large hands cradled my head and held me to him but while his grip was firm, his lips commanding, I could feel him holding himself back. Restraining himself as though I were someone to be cherished.

  He pulled back with a groan. “I’ve been waiting to do that again all morning.”

  I let out a shaky breath. “It’s only ten am.”

  He smiled. “Yeah, but my brothers made sure to get me up at the crack of dawn so we could unwrap presents.”

  I found myself smiling in return like we were in on some private joke. It was stupid the way these hormones affected me.

  “They wanted to wake you too, but I told them they should let you sleep.”

  My smile grew. I’d never had siblings or done the babysitting thing and I was honestly touched that they’d taken a liking to me, given the fact that not many did. “I appreciate that.” I looked around at the near deserted beach. Of course no one was out and about around Christmas. “Shouldn’t you be with them now?” I asked.

  He nodded, letting go of me long enough to run a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I just needed a breather.”

  I nodded, unsure of what I was supposed to say to that. See, this was exactly what I was talking about. How was I supposed to act around this guy who made me forget who I was when he kissed me?

  He let out a long breath as he wrapped his arms around me loosely. “I needed to see you.”

  Oh. My mouth opened like I was going to say something but no words came out. Because really, what could I say? That confused me even more.

  He grimaced. “Sorry, was that too much?”

  I frowned up at him. “What does that mean?”

  “What does what mean?” He looked equally confused and amused by me.

  I took a deep breath, trying not to notice his scent or the feel of his muscular arms wrapped around my waist. I’d never had a problem with focus before, I could sure as heck manage for one minute now. I licked my lips and focused my gaze on that point on his neck where I could see his pulse.

  Somehow that steadied my own racing heart. Maybe it was the reminder that I needed that he was human too. Just another guy, made of flesh and blood. This thing between us was just physical. It wasn’t some ethereal magical nonsense, it was chemistry. It was biology.

  That I could handle.

  With that thought I lifted my eyes to meet his. “I seem to be struggling with the basics of our situation.”

  There was that amusement in his eyes, but he didn’t laugh at me. He did that thing I loved where he clearly thought over what I said. “Could you elaborate?”

  I frowned in frustration that I had to spell it out. “I don’t know how we’re supposed to act. Are we friends or…” I swallowed, unable to continue. I honestly didn’t know what the alternative was. I knew we weren’t in a romantic relationship, which was fine. No, it was good. This was what I’d wanted. We would be a disaster in a relationship. I didn’t fit into his world and he would never understand mine. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to finish the question.

  He paused just a moment too long before he said, “Of course we’re friends.”

  His pause gave me pause. Had he hesitated because he’d been waiting for me to finish speaking or had he not immediately known the answer?

  I peered up at him, trying to understand the intensity in his eyes. It wasn’t like before. Not like when we’d first started to get to know one another and he’d looked at me as though I was a competitor or something. Like every time I spoke it was a challenge or a dare.

  There was still an intensity there, but I couldn’t understand it.

  I hated that. Frustration had me pulling away from him. “Okay, so we’re friends. But then what did you mean when you said that you needed to see me?” I shook my head. “I don’t understand.”

  Now even his smile was hard to read. I was admittedly not the top in my class when it came to reading others’ emotions or gauging their feelings, but looking into his eyes and seeing that smile, I felt like I was failing some test.

  “Don’t worry about it,” he said.

  I let out a huff of air. “That is an unsatisfactory answer.”

  Now I recognized his smile. I was making him laugh, and not in an intentional way. Though his laughter wasn’t mean so much as it was…affectionate. Kind of like how my mom or Taylor laughed at me when I didn’t pick up on a pop culture reference that the rest of the world knew as common knowledge.

  “Well, it’s the only answer I’ve got for you,” he said, glancing back toward the hotel before giving me an apologetic look. “I’ve got to get back.”

  I nodded. I had some quality time with my mom ahead of me as well. “Okay. But I have questions. Like what is the end date for this? And how affectionate are we supposed to be…when we’re not kissing, I mean.” I stopped myself before the full torrent of questions could come tumbling out.

  He narrowed his eyes as if studying me, and he let out an exasperated sigh. “Try not to overthink this.”

  I gave a snort that was part amusement and all disbelief. “Have you met me?”

  He grinned. “I said try. We’ll figure this out as we go, okay? We’ll come up with a definition and rules and timeframes and anything else you need to satisfy that type-A personality of yours.”

  He was teasing, I knew that, but I still scowled. Though I had to admit
to myself that I liked the way he’d said “we.” We’ll figure this out. We’ll come up with a definition…

  It made some of my discomfort ease.

  He backed away slowly. “Tomorrow,” he said. “I’ll pick you up in the morning for a jog.”

  “Okay.” I assumed he meant we’d talk more then. But then he added, “And then I’m taking you out on the town.”

  “Like a date?”

  He stopped and gave me a grin that made my breath catch in my throat. “Exactly like a date.”

  “But…” I licked my lips, that uncertainty back in full force. “Do you take all your friends out on dates?”

  His laugh was low and sexy. “No, Maya.”

  “But I thought—” I stopped myself because I couldn’t make myself say the words. I thought this wasn’t romantic. I thought this was just physical. Instead, I nodded like an idiot. “Good.”

  “Good?” He took one step forward and I had the unnerving suspicion that he was a panther ready to pounce. “Are you glad I’m not dating anyone else, Maya?”

  I couldn’t seem to process his words. Something was going on here below the surface. This wasn’t what I’d expected. It wasn’t what I thought it would be. But then, maybe I hadn’t understood what it meant to be in one of Luke’s non-relationship relationships. He seemed to be waiting for an answer and his gaze was so intense I couldn’t look away.

  Was I glad he wasn’t dating anyone else?

  Yes! Hell yes!

  I blinked rapidly to dispel the insanely possessive voice that I didn’t even recognize. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to lie. “Yes,” I said, my voice faltering under his avid scrutiny. I had a feeling he was weighing my words, reading into them. My brain felt scrambled as I tried to explain. “I mean, it would be awfully confusing for your friends if you were.”

  Some of his intensity diminished as he laughed. His gaze turned impossibly tender. “Are you confused, Maya?”

  I nodded. “Yes.”

  He nodded too as if we’d come to some agreement. He almost turned away before I thought to ask, “Are you confused?”

  “Yes.” He didn’t hesitate and his answer shocked me into silence.

  He gave me another small smile then. “I promise, we’ll figure it out together, all right?”

  I nodded, but then words tumbled out of my mouth. “Does that mean more kissing?”

  He laughed. “It definitely means more kissing.”

  I nodded again. “Okay.”

  He grinned before turning to walk away. “Okay.”

  So, that was how we ended up kissing…multiple times and in a myriad of places. Later that night he found me on the beach when I went for a walk alone and he kissed me until I forgot what day it was. Difficult to do since it was Christmas day. The next morning he kissed me during our jog, and then after when we were all hot and sweaty.

  Kissing didn’t help the matter. After that kiss, I was not only hot and sweaty, I was also hot and bothered. Then he stopped to kiss me on our walk into town for lunch, almost like he couldn’t help himself.

  It took forever to get to the restaurant he’d picked out. My favorite. I looked up at him as we arrived. “Did you talk to my mom?”

  “Yes.”

  He waited for me to say something else, but I didn’t know what to say. I mean, that was thoughtful. He’d taken me to my favorite restaurant for a date. I blinked up at him. “Okay.”

  “Okay,” he repeated as he took my hand and led me inside.

  After we’d ordered I got that nervous feeling again. Not so much confused as anxious. He’d outright said this was a date. And I didn’t date. Well, I hadn’t been on a date with anyone but Brandon—a fact I shared with him when he asked why I was twisting my straw wrapper into oblivion.

  He shrugged as if it was no big deal. And it probably wasn’t for him. I mean, the guy probably went on loads of dates with lots of different girls. I was probably the odd one—when wasn’t I?—for having only ever dated one guy.

  He leaned forward after the waiter left. I’d ordered for us both since his Spanish was garbage. “What did you and Brandon talk about on dates?”

  I pursed my lips as I thought back to our dates. “Typical topics, I guess. College plans, future ambitions, our academic studies, that sort of thing.”

  I realized how lame that must sound to him after I spoke. He probably didn’t talk to his dates about their SAT scores. But he didn’t laugh at me. He just nodded. “So then, let’s start there.”

  I realized at the end of lunch that he’d said “start there” for a reason. While I started off answering his questions about my college acceptance and the classes I planned to take at Harvard, the conversation veered wildly off course after that.

  Without me realizing it, the discussion took on a life of its own until we’d covered a broad range of topics, from our music tastes to his little brothers’ penchant for pranks, to my mother’s story of coming to America as a girl, to his funny tale about losing his first swim meet thanks to a cramp in his calf, and having to be scooped out of the water by his coach.

  By the time we left I wasn’t nervous. I’d had too much fun talking with Luke, who was really quite interesting. And quick. He never said what most people would say. His responses were unique—sometimes frustrating or needlessly challenging—but they were never dull.

  Like when I told him I wasn’t nervous any longer as we walked hand in hand back to the hotel.

  “Good,” he said. “And are you still confused?”

  I hadn’t been expecting that so I had to stop and think. Was I confused? No, not really. “We’re dating,” I said slowly. Looking up to see his reaction.

  “Yes.” He gave nothing away, just stated the fact.

  I liked that.

  “For the remainder of this trip?” I asked.

  He gave me a lopsided grin. “Not having a timeframe is killing you, isn’t it?”

  I arched my brows. “It’s not killing me. I just like to know parameters.”

  His smile grew as if that answer was funny. “Fine. Yes, we’re dating for the remainder of this trip. In fact, I think we could go so far as to say we’ll be exclusive until then, don’t you think?”

  I found myself smiling back at him. A ridiculous surge of giddy joy made me want to do something totally out of character…like squeal or something. Instead, I smiled and stated the obvious. “That’s because there’s no other girls here.”

  He shrugged. “It doesn’t change the validity of my statement.”

  “Fair enough. We are exclusive for the next…” I glanced down at the clock on my phone. “Five days and two hours.”

  We were all flying back home on New Year’s Day since Luke, his brothers, and I all had school the following day.

  “There,” Luke said. “That’s settled. Now, are you still confused?”

  I shook my head. “Not at the moment, no.” And I wasn’t confused. For right now at least, life was good. Perfect, even. We were kissing.

  We were dating.

  And I liked it.

  “Good,” he said. “Neither am I.”

  Chapter Ten

  Luke

  Those five days went by too quickly. For the first time in my life I got that whole “time flies when you’re having fun” phrase.

  I’d never had so much fun. Ever. Despite the family drama, which eased considerably after the Christmas hype ended, I was having the time of my life.

  Maya and I were a couple. We were dating.

  And we were kissing…a lot. We were kissing on the couch after we put the boys to bed while babysitting. We were kissing after our jogs in the morning and before our late-night walks on the beach.

  When we weren’t kissing, it was usually because we were surrounded by our families—shopping in town or playing Frisbee on the beach. While I would have killed for even more one-on-one time, I could honestly say I enjoyed the family time too. It was almost too easy to be together around others.

 
Like we’d always been dating, or like we were the best of friends. Yes, we still argued and we still had our odd conversations, which I thoroughly enjoyed, but there was no contentiousness between us now.

  Maya theorized that our physical intimacy neutralized the tension between us.

  Whether that thoroughly unromantic view of the situation was true or not, the end result was the same. The sparks were there—but now when they were about to erupt into flames we made out under the stars and held one another like we would never let go.

  I guess the point I’m trying to make is—we were having so much fun, life was so easy, that I never wanted to bring up reality. Whenever thoughts of leaving Mexico and returning to our ordinary lives popped up, I shoved them to the side and focused on the sexy, sweet young woman at my side instead.

  On that last night, I’d told myself that I’d address the looming, large elephant in the room. It was New Year’s Eve and we’d be flying out the next day. We should talk about that and what that meant.

  But there never seemed to be a good time. We were either helping my brothers bake cookies for our family celebration on the beach or we were helping set up the late-night picnic under the stars as we waited to watch the fireworks.

  Then we were watching the fireworks, hand in hand, lying beside one another on a blanket of our own as my brothers snoozed on the oversized blanket, wrapped under blankets with our mothers.

  And then we were on a bus, and then a plane, and then…there was just never a good time for the “where is this headed?” conversation.

  I knew without a doubt that Maya was pondering the same question but she never brought it up either, probably for the same reason. Either the timing wasn’t right or we were having so much fun that neither of us wanted to spoil the moment.

  So that was how, seemingly out of nowhere, I was back in Pennsylvania. Back at Briarwood. Back to real life.

  Coming back to reality was jarring…and not in a good way. I hadn’t been confused in Mexico. Much as Maya had needed some coaxing to come to grips with our dating situation, I hadn’t been confused at all.