The Heartbreak Cafe

by Melissa Hill

  Ruth popped up on to the examination table. ‘I have to admit; I’m kinda nervous about it.’ Her lip trembled a little as she spoke and she looked in Charlie’s direction, noticing that he was watching her intently.

  ‘Perfectly normal but there’s really no need,’ the woman smiled. ‘Alright, then, let’s get started.’ Charlie stood back as the sonographer started to get set up for the ultrasound. She pulled up Ruth’s top and spread the cold jelly all over her stomach. Charlie stared at her tiny baby bump and she met his eyes and smiled.

  ‘Okay, so there we go… see there you can just about make out the heart beating?’

  Ruth nodded, trying to make sense of the image that was on the screen. Gosh, could that little blob really be a baby, her baby? ‘I think so,’ she replied, tears in her eyes. Staring at the screen she was suddenly overcome with emotion. ‘Look, that’s my baby!’ she cried to Charlie, who reached across and took her hand.

  ‘It’s wonderful Ruth,’ he said softly. He scanned the length of her body, allowing them to rest on her belly for a moment. He didn’t say anything else, but he didn’t have to. Ruth knew that of course he was thinking about what this would have been like if things had been different and the baby they were now looking at was his.

  Ruth and Charlie said little as they left the hospital and drove back to Lakeview. As they approached her house, he slowed the car and pulled into the side of the road.

  She looked at him, wondering what was happening. He’d been quiet for most of the journey back and she knew that what had happened at the hospital was bothering him.

  ‘Charlie, I’m sorry that you got roped into all of that, it wasn’t fair and –’

  ‘No, don’t apologise. I thought it was amazing actually.’

  She nodded. ‘Wasn’t it? I must admit, I never thought I’d be that excited; after all, it’s just a couple of white blobs but …wow,’ she shook her head. ‘Talk about a hell of a screen debut.’

  He laughed. ‘Do you think he or she will follow in their mother’s footsteps?’

  ‘What – you mean be a complete disaster? I certainly hope not.’

  ‘That’s not what I meant – and really you shouldn’t say that in front of it,’ he admonished almost like an over-protective father.

  Ruth’s eyes widened in shock as at this she felt some movement in her stomach. It couldn’t be a kick, not that this early stage, but it was definitely something. . ‘Oh my goodness!’ she cried, grasping his hand. ‘Feel that.’

  ‘Feel what?’ Charlie replied and sure enough, the baby seemed to move again. ‘Oh.’

  They both looked at one another in amazement and Ruth laughed. ‘It’s kind of cool, isn’t it? I’m thinking Baby must like you.’

  She saw something in his eyes that she couldn’t read. ‘Yes, it is very cool. And I very much hope this baby likes me,’ he went on. ‘Because I think I’m already crazy about it, almost as much as I am about its mother.’

  Ruth stared at him, not sure if she’d heard right. ‘What …?’

  ‘You heard me.’

  ‘Oh Charlie.’ She turned to look at him, not sure what to think. ‘I … don’t know what to say.’

  ‘You don’t have to say anything really. Except of course whether or not you feel the same way,’ he said with a nervous laugh.

  ‘But what about …all of this?’ she asked, her gaze flickering again to her stomach.

  He shrugged. ‘It is what it is. The little blob already has me, so who knows what it’ll be like when it’s born.’

  Ruth stared at him, flabbergasted. Was he actually saying that he didn’t mind she was carrying another man’s child? That he could still love them regardless? ‘So where do we go from here? I must say …this is a little strange – great but strange …’

  ‘Me too, so why not just try and figure it out as we go? After all, neither one of us has ever experienced anything this before, so I suppose it’s perfectly fine to be scared.’

  ‘You really want to be involved in this?’

  He looked hesitant. ‘As long as you’re OK with it.’

  ‘Oh yeah, I’m fine with it.’

  Charlie reached across and kissed her on the lips, this time slow and gentle with none of the urgency of last time. Ruth kissed him back, amazed that after all these years and all that had happened; here they were sitting together in the car on the same laneway in Lakeview. Had they learned anything in between? Ruth certainly hoped so. Because this time it wasn’t all about her; this time it was all about the new life she had growing inside her; one that today Charlie had clearly fallen for just as fast, and just as hard as she had.

  Chapter 24

  ‘Hello there. I’m delighted you could come,’ Jess smiled as she escorted Nina into her house.

  ‘Thank you for inviting me.’ She looked around the uber-stylish South Dublin townhouse, thinking it suited Jess to a tee. ‘Do you need a hand with the food?’

  ‘Not at all, I think everything’s pretty much under control and anyway, you’re a guest!’

  She smiled self-consciously not entirely sure why she’d agreed to come to this party, but she liked Jess and sensed that she needed a friend. Anyway it was another excuse to get out of the house and all too easy to get a lift to Dublin with Ella’s son Dan, who’d dropped off the party nibbles. ‘Well, if you do need help with anything, don’t hesitate to ask.’

  ‘Honestly no.’ Jess insisted. ‘Come inside and meet my husband. Are you feeling OK? Can I get you a glass of water or anything?’ She seemed especially solicitous, probably because she knew about the pregnancy, and while Nina wasn’t used to such a to-do, she suspected Jess’s friends must have demanded it in the past, which was why she was fussing over her now.

  ‘Well, lemonade would be nice if you have it, thanks.’

  ‘Of course. And how is … everything?’ Jess asked gently, referring no doubt to their conversation of before.

  ‘Still a bit all over the place really, but I’m sure I’ll be fine.’ She gave a tight smile, hoping that Jess wouldn’t push it too much. It was strange talking to someone who actually knew the truth, and Nina knew it wouldn’t be much longer till she would have to go public with it all, exposing her real reason she was in Lakeview and not what she had been telling people.

  ‘Of course you will.’ Jess led the way to the kitchen where a man, presumably her husband was standing at the countertop cutting up vegetables. ‘Brian honey, come and meet Nina Hughes, a friend from Lakeview.’

  Brian looked up and smiled. He was tall, very handsome and had a kind face.

  ‘Ah, nice to meet you.’ He wiped his hands on a dishtowel, and extended one to shake hers.

  ‘You too,’ she replied. ‘Great to get the weather, isn’t it?’ She nodded towards the open patio doors and the beautiful summer’s day.

  ‘I know – it rarely happens when you plan something like this,’ he laughed, his brown eyes twinkling and Nina decided immediately that Jess was a very lucky girl. Brian was lovely.

  Then his eyes rested on her stomach and something in his face changed.

  ‘I’d better get these on to the barbecue,’ he said, turning to look at Jess, and was Nina imagining it or was there a slight edge to his tone now?

  ‘Yes, better not keep the hungry hordes waiting.’ Jess trilled, but her smile looked forced.

  Nina looked outside to the garden where the other guests were gathered. Wow, there were a lot of kids out there. She immediately recognised Deirdre’s two, and Emer’s Amy, but there were a few others she didn’t know.

  ‘Jess I’ll say it again; it’s really brave of you to open up your house to so many children,’ she joked.

  Brian brushed past them with an uncooked tray of chicken kebabs. ‘Yes well, when Jess gets an idea into her head, she tends to run and run with it,’ he said and again Nina detected some bitterness in his voice. She realised that Jess was making herself busy in another area of the kitchen and no longer talking part in the conversation.
r />   ‘I suppose there’s something to be said for spontaneity,’ Nina replied cheerfully.

  There was clearly some kind of atmosphere here, and despite their gracious welcome she was starting to feel awkward being in the company of her new friend and her husband.

  ‘Well, it a party, and there’s always a mess after a party, isn’t there?’ Jess piped up brightly.

  Soon more guests started to arrive and Jess welcomed each one (as well their children) with open arms. Nina noticed that Brian and Jess were having little contact with each other and there was obvious discomfort.

  For her part, she felt herself tense up every time a child spilled something or caused a mess in her host’s beautiful house, and continuously found herself helping Brian clean up carpet stains, or running to pull a valuable looking ornament out of reach of little hands. Jess seemed oblivious to it all – as did the mums of the little ones in question.

  ‘Nina, honestly, you really don’t have to help me clean this stuff up,’ Brian said scrubbing a Ribena stain from the oatmeal coloured carpet. ‘Frankly, I have no idea what’s got into my wife for encouraging these kids to run amok.’

  ‘Oh, it’s no bother honestly, and I know Jess is up to her eyes being the hostess.’

  In truth Nina didn’t mind keeping an eye on the mischievous children; it was better than having to spend time with the adults some of whom – namely Deirdre and Emer – were downright rude.

  ‘Can you take this into the kitchen for me?’ Emer had said earlier, handing Nina a plate of her leftovers. Because she was used to Nina being at her beck and call at Ella’s, she seemed to expect the same treatment here, and despite Jess’s kind invitation Nina was beginning to regret coming to this party.

  Not that Jess was behaving like anything other than the perfect hostess, and Nina knew would be horrified to learn that shortly after her arrival, Deirdre had come up and asked Nina if she could ‘use her’ for an upcoming get-together she was planning at her house.

  ‘I’m not actually here as a caterer,’ Nina pointed out, but knew her words had fallen on deaf ears when another of the mothers later asked if she could fetch some fruit juice for her daughter.

  ‘Something unsweetened preferably, Saffy can get a bit hyper on sugar,’ and Nina couldn’t help but wonder what the already manic little girl was on now – speed perhaps?

  She found it hard to believe that these fussy indulgent women had anything in common with Jess, but at the same time it was easy to see why she was feeling browbeaten by their child-centric obsessiveness.

  Which was why Nina almost welcomed the opportunity to stay in the background, keeping an eye on the kids and cleaning up after their exploits. Hell, it would be good practice for her, wouldn’t it?

  Once again she felt a knot in her chest at the notion of having a child of her own to look after. She just couldn’t see it; and the truth was it would never be like this, like these other mothers who all had partners and husbands to share the workload. She looked around at Jess and Brian’s wonderful house, considered their steady marriage, good jobs and great lifestyle. They were the kind of people who should be bringing children into the world; not penniless singletons who had nowhere to live, and little to offer. But as Jess herself had admitted before, sadly this often wasn’t the way life worked.

  Just then Brian walked into the kitchen to find her at the sink washing out some glasses. ‘Nina, what are you doing? Come outside and have a drink and enjoy the sunshine.’

  ‘Oh I don’t mind. It’s warm out there today so really, I’m enjoying being out of the sun.’

  ‘Well, come and sit under the parasol then. Can I get you a glass of wine, or some champagne maybe?’

  She smiled. ‘Thanks, you’re very kind but I’m sort of …not drinking at the moment.’

  ‘I see.’ Again, a quick glance towards her middle.

  ‘I’m not sure if Jess told you but –’

  ‘Ah I understand,’ he said uncomfortably. ‘Well, in any case, you really shouldn’t be doing our washing up. You’re a guest, and more to the point we have a dishwasher.’ He chuckled and Nina smiled.

  Just then, a noise sounded from outside, soon followed by almighty toddler screams. Brian grimaced. ‘Then again, maybe you have the right idea hiding away in here.’

  ‘They are a bit … feisty, aren’t they?’ she ventured delicately.

  ‘Feisty? Brazen is the word I’d use. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with Deirdre and Kevin but if any child of mine behaved like those two boys they’d get a swift kick up the backside for themselves. But of course, these days it’s all about letting them ‘express themselves’, isn’t it?’ He shook his head, and Nina was finally able to put her finger on why things seemed so strained between Jess and husband; clearly she and she alone was the one driving the children thing.

  And she wondered now if this party had also been solely Jess’s idea. It would certainly explain Brian’s reaction to the playfulness of the kids and his weariness about having to clean up after them.

  ‘I guess you guys weren’t quite sure what you were letting yourselves in for,’ she said trying to be diplomatic.

  ‘You can say that again. Anyway, please do come outside,’ he insisted, gesturing towards the garden. ‘I think the noise has stopped, so it looks like the coast is clear, for a while at least,’ he added with a wink.

  Nina duly followed Brian outside to where the other guests were either sitting at the patio table, or standing around in small groups on the lawn.

  Looking around to try and find Jess, she saw that she was sitting on the bench at the bottom of the garden in conversation with Emer and Deirdre. The girls looked to be in deep discussion, but while Emer and Deirdre looked animated, Jess’s face was pale.

  Then all of a sudden Deirdre stood up and threw her arms around Emer, hugging her fiercely.

  ‘Oh wow! Oh my goodness! Everyone … great news!’ she exclaimed and all conversation stopped as everyone else turned to see what was going on. She nudged her friend. ‘Emer … tell them.’

  Emer stood up too. ‘Well, I know my husband will kill me for saying this when he’s not here today but…’ She grinned proudly. ‘I’m kind of … expecting again.’

  There was a huge commotion as various people shouted good wishes and even some applause as other guests swarmed to congratulate the new mum-to-be.

  Brian approached Emer to wish her well and give her a hug, and Nina immediately noticed how Jess was sitting stock still, watching the celebrations play out around her. There was a peculiar expression on her face as she watched her friend receive hugs and good tidings from everyone at the party, and knowing how badly Jess wanted a child, she could only imagine the disappointment she was feeling just then.

  But then suddenly, out of the blue, Jess too stood up and cleared her throat.

  ‘Everyone…’ she said, calling people loudly to attention. ‘I …I actually have an announcement too.’

  The party guests paused and turned expectantly towards their hostess.

  With a brief glance towards her husband, Jess took a deep breath and smiled. ‘Well, I hope my darling hubby doesn’t mind either but …’ she grinned sheepishly, her face reddening, ‘we might as well make it a two for one today … because well, I’m pregnant too!’ A brief hush descended until suddenly, praise and congratulations echoed once more.

  ‘Oh wow Jess, that is amazing news!’ Emer hugged Jess fiercely and people once again flocked forward, this time to hug Jess.

  Nina heard Deirdre tell her that she ‘just knew there was something different about her lately!’ and Jess nodded, obviously thrilled with her friends’ joyful reaction. The men duly moved to shake Brian’s hand, and pat him on the back

  But for some reason, the whole thing seemed a little … forced to Nina and she couldn’t help but be surprised that Jess hadn’t said anything about it before. It didn’t seem all that long since that discussion in M&S but of course she clearly hadn’t known then. She’d prob
ably just found out she figured, and hadn’t intended on telling anyone yet, but of course then Emer’s news had pushed the issue.

  Or perhaps the announcement was the true purpose of this party? If so, then why had Brian seemed so put-out about it? Unless …

  She looked over at Jess’s husband, who contrary to the exuberance of his wife, was behaving almost like a robot. He was accepting handshakes and congratulations, but his face was ashen and the expression of his face was one of …bewilderment?

  Nina gasped involuntarily. If she didn’t know better, she could have sworn that Brian had just learned – at the same time as everyone else at this party – that his wife was pregnant.

  Jess’s nerves were on edge. She couldn’t wait for the party to clear.

  What on earth had possessed her to blurt out such a thing right in front of everyone like that?

  Granted she’d got a bit carried away and at the time just wasn’t able to resist – not when everyone had been so excited about Emer …

  But now in retrospect, and especially having seen the shocked and very hurt look on Brian’s face, she was having major second thoughts.

  Poor Brian, how would she have felt if he’d done something like that to her?

  But unfortunately the damage was done, and while she knew her actions would have huge ramifications, she had no choice but to face them.

  Hopefully he would understand why she’d felt the need to do it – although in truth Jess couldn’t quite understand it herself. It had been a moment of madness, a rush of blood to the head, and of course if Emer hadn’t made her announcement, the subject matter would probably have never even been raised.

  She just hoped Brian would be able to forgive her. It was bad enough that they’d hadn’t been getting on all that well up to now, and she thought back on the discussion that had ensued when she’d first proposed the idea of the get-together.

  Suffice to say, he was less than pleased.

  ‘Do you think that inviting a load of children around here will help the scales fall from my eyes or something?’ he’d laughed, as if the very idea was completely preposterous. ‘Jess, I’m not an idiot, so please don’t treat me as such.’