The Heartbreak Cafe

by Melissa Hill

  Nina nodded and now it was her turn to feel uncomfortable about the topic of conversation. ‘Pretty much.’

  ‘So did you have a doctor’s appointment or something?’

  ‘Um no …I was just … shopping actually.’

  ‘Really?’ Jess said and Nina realised the stupidity of this excuse in that of course Jess would have noticed that she wasn’t carrying any shopping bags.

  Both women were silent for a moment, until finally Nina sighed. ‘Actually I wasn’t shopping.’

  ‘I kind of figured that,’ Jess said with a grin. ‘But look, don’t mind me, I was only making conversation, not trying to pry into your business or anything.’

  ‘No, it’s fine, actually, it’s sort of the reason I phoned you. I wouldn’t mind talking to somebody about this. I did have an appointment but not with a doctor.’

  ‘OK.’

  Nina sighed again. ‘You’re going to think I’m a horrible person but honestly I don’t think I was thinking straight.’

  ‘I doubt that,’ Jess snorted. ‘Goodness knows we’ve all done regrettable things on the spur of the moment,’ she added cryptically.

  As she began outlining her experience at the agency, Nina relaxed a little, relieved to have someone to open up to about this. Maybe that was partly the problem; she had been shouldering so much lately, stress over the situation with Steve, guilt in keeping secrets from her mother, and then what to do about it all that some kind of mental distance might be exactly what she needed.

  She recalled how relieved she’d felt after confiding to Jess her doubts about the pregnancy a while back. She was such a good listener and completely non-judgemental and from the sounds of it, seemed to be having some personal problems of her own.

  Jess looked thoughtful. ‘So what’s bothering you the most is that if you give the baby up, you’re worried that you’ll never see it again – never be part of its life?’ she asked, when Nina had finished telling all.

  She nodded. ‘That’s it in a nutshell.’

  Jess took a deep breath. ‘Well, I think I might just be the person to talk to about that, but before we go any further…’ She looked at Nina, her expression solemn, ‘Ihave a little something of my own to confide ...’

  Chapter 29

  When Ruth touched down at LAX she was mentally spent. She had been juggling too many thoughts for too many hours and was eager to get off the flight so she could focus on something else.

  While she was of course eager to get back to LA and find out from Erik and the producers about all the wonderful things in store, there was also something eating at her, an internal voice nagging that perhaps she was making the wrong choice again.

  Determined to silence that voice, she focused on other things. Namely that she wouldn’t make the same mistake as last time when arriving at Dublin airport. This time she had brought all the essentials – plenty of makeup and a change of clothes, and most importantly she hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol in ages so there would be no hangover. No, this time she would look perfectly fabulous when she got off the flight.

  Feeling a stirring in her stomach, she put her hands on her bump. Imagine, she thought, no doubt her son or daughter would some day see the pictures of this very moment, Mom strolling triumphantly out of the airport on her way to meet her agent to talk about a career-changing movie role. She smiled and patted her belly, feeling more movement from inside.

  ‘Ouch,’ she said out loud, attracting looks from other passengers. ‘Oops, I don’t think Junior likes flying,’ she laughed.

  Her thoughts immediately went to Charlie. He would have loved to hear about what just happened; what she’d just felt and she wished again that she’d managed to persuade him to come with her.

  ‘Ruth I have the dealership to run. I can’t just hop on a plane and fly half-way across the world whenever it suits me,’ he’d insisted.

  But even if he had been able to, Ruth suspected he wouldn’t have come. While he’d (reluctantly) gone along with her decision to fly back and see what was on the table, he would have been just as happy if she’d ignored the offer and given up Hollywood altogether. But Charlie hadn’t fought as hard as Ruth had; in fact Charlie didn’t really understand having to fight for anything. He’d walked into a ready-made family business and had nothing to prove to himself or anyone else.

  Whereas Ruth felt she still did.

  She got off the plane and having collected her baggage, went through to the arrivals area. Almost as soon as she appeared through the doors, Chloe rushed forward to greet her.

  ‘Oh my goodness, you’re huge!’

  Ruth grimaced, that was the last thing she needed to hear. ‘Thanks, that’s awfully nice of you.’

  ‘No, no, I mean it’s adorable! It’s not like you have double chins or anything like some actresses when they’re knocked up. That’s not what I meant.’ Ruth thought she spotted her assistant give a brief eye roll before she looked away. It was strange because Chloe was always so enthusiastic and complimentary towards her. Or Ruth wondered, had she just wanted to see it like that?

  ‘Anyway, there are loads of press outside waiting for you and … well, there’s another surprise too.’

  ‘Oh. What kind of surprise?’ Ruth couldn’t help but picture Peter Jackson waiting for her with a glass of champagne, ready to whisk her away in his limo.

  ‘Well he mentioned it to Erik, and he thought it would be great for publicity, so we arranged to have Troy here for your reunion.’ She grinned as if this was the best idea ever.

  Ruth blanched. ‘What? Oh no!’

  ‘But I thought you would like that?’ Chloe pouted as they walked outside into the LA sunshine.

  ‘No, I want absolutely nothing to do with Troy, and I certainly don’t want to be photographed with him.’

  ‘Uh, I think it might kinda be too late for that …’

  Before Ruth could react, Troy stepped forward and caught her in his arms, completely blindsiding her. He must have been aiming for a dramatic passionate reunion, purely for the benefit of the swarms of photographers flashing away right behind him. Ruth went to push him away and he moved expertly out of their embrace and ran his hand over her stomach, before finally kneeling down to kiss it.

  What the heck…? Ruth was still too shocked to say or do anything, before Troy suddenly jumped up and grabbed her face, kissing her passionately. The photographers ate it up and then in a final flourish, he flung Ruth backwards holding her in his arms and halfway to the floor, like some scene he’d stolen from a movie. Come to think of it, the idiot probably had.

  Finally Ruth went from shocked to helpless to completely outraged. She pried her mouth away from his and brought her hands to his chest, pressing away from him. ‘What the hell do you think you’re doing?’ she hissed and he looked at her, surprised.

  ‘I’m welcoming home the mother of my child of course. Babe, what’s up? I thought you’d be happy to see me.’

  Managing finally to get some distance from him, Ruth straightened her clothes. ‘Chloe, get me the hell out of here now. NOW.’ Her assistant duly started pushing their way through the photographers and Ruth hoped Troy would be swallowed up in the throng. But no, apparently he was determined to play a role, and he took Ruth’s arm gallantly leading her through. He then put the other arm across her stomach, as if now protecting her from the greedy lenses of the paparazzi.

  No doubt it made a good picture and Ruth knew that was all he was after – press. Charlie’s words echoed in her brain. ‘Would they still want you if you didn’t have a story?’ And she knew that the man who’d rejected her so completely now only wanted her now because her star was on the rise, and by association his would go even higher.

  As Chloe and Troy rushed her into a waiting car, Ruth started to realise that Charlie was right and this whole thing could very well be a runaway train. When the doors closed and the limo pulled away from the kerb, she rounded on Troy.

  ‘What the hell are you doing here?’


  ‘What babe? Come on – that was great! You know you loved it. We’re gonna be on the cover of every magazine in the world! Our kid is already famous and it’s not even done cooking.’

  ‘How dare you! How dare you!’ Ruth raged. ‘My baby is not a marketing opportunity for you. You wanted nothing to do with me a few months ago and yet now because you’ve suddenly clicked it’ll help raise your profile even higher, you’re all over us!’ Ruth huffed and puffed, furious about what had just happened.

  ‘Like you aren’t loving this,’ Troy sneered. ‘You’re just like me, you want your name in lights too – fame, money, the whole lot – I know you do. Don’t act like the Virgin Mary now babe, cause I know better. If I remember correctly, the very night we made the kid I had you howling at the top of your lungs. “We’re celebrities! We can do whatever the hell we want!”’ he mimicked with a wolf-like grin, and Ruth cringed. ‘You may not remember that sweetheart, but I sure do.’

  Through new eyes, she studied the people she was travelling with – her co-star, minders and so-called ‘protectors’. Chloe was sitting directly across from her and possibly for the first time ever, Ruth took a closer look at her appearance.

  She was bleached blonde and her skin was tanned to the point of resembling shoe leather. Her breasts were surgically enhanced, larger than they should be on such a tiny frame, and her gaze kept flipping from her BlackBerry to the scene that was taking place between Troy and Ruth. Ruth thought morosely that she was probably recording all of it and would sell it to TMZ at the first opportunity.

  Troy was sitting next to her, looking unaccountably smug. She studied the face she used to think was so handsome, but could see now just how tired he looked, how worn and jaded. How many women had he been with, she wondered? And how many had he used, or indeed impregnated? Was she the first one that he’d decided to use as a merchandising opportunity?

  He kept rubbing his nose, which looked red and irritated. He’d probably been doing cocaine last night; or maybe even on the way to the airport, Ruth thought disgustedly.

  Looking away, she stared out the blackened windows of the limo as they made their way to the studio offices in Santa Monica. The city which had always looked so vibrant and glossy to Ruth, today looked smog-filled and grim. And instead of focusing on the thirty-foot-high movie posters hanging on the buildings, her gaze shifted to the wandering beggars on the streets beneath; some of them even younger than she was. Just like her, they had come to Hollywood searching for the dream but eventually found out that they were as disposable as the coffee cups they picked up off the ground.

  She looked away, wondering if returning to LA after all that time spent in Lakeview was forcing her into some kind of epiphany. But no, she wasn’t like those dreamers – never had been – she had a successful TV career and was here today to talk about an incredible movie offer. She would never have to pick empty cans and coffee cups off the street – she, Ruth Seymour, had made it.

  In Santa Monica, the limo eventually came to a stop outside the studio entrance and Ruth and her entourage stepped outside.

  ‘Where do you think you’re going?’ she asked Troy, who was making no move to leave.

  ‘Erik is my agent too, babe. In fact, if I remember correctly, didn’t I give you the recommendation?’

  ‘So? I’m here for a private meeting with the studio people and you’re not part of it.’

  ‘But Ruth, you and me – we’re a team!’

  ‘The hell we are,’ Ruth said, turning her back on him. As she headed into the building she thought she heard Chloe mutter something about waiting in the car. ‘What is it with him?’ she commented to her assistant on the elevator up. ‘Ugh, talk about a leech.’

  The other girl shrugged. ‘Well, you are shit-hot right now. Like I said, people haven’t stopped calling since the whole Soldier’s Daughter thing broke.’

  Ruth smiled, feeling undeniably smug that an A-lister like Troy Valentine was now trying to get kudos from her. My, how the tables had turned!

  She checked her appearance in the mirror, making sure that she looked every inch the leading lady. Her hair was held back by her D&G sunglasses and the silk Matthew Williamson maxi-dress she’d changed into upon arrival looked suitably glamorous, but more importantly she thought somewhat guiltily, was especially effective in hiding her bump.

  ‘Ruth … darling!’ Erik was all smiles and hugs when she entered the boardroom. The studio suits hadn’t yet arrived; typically they were taking the power-play to the max by making everyone wait. Ruth didn’t care; if anything she welcomed the opportunity to talk to her agent beforehand.

  ‘So what’s on the table?’ she asked, having banished Chloe outside to the waiting area.

  Erik’s eyes shone beadily. ‘I won’t kid you sweetheart – it’s big, real big.’

  ‘How big?’ Ruth’s heart pounded. ‘And do I have the part or what? You said something about a screen-test?’

  ‘Personally, I think it’s just a play by the studio guys. I know for sure Jackson wants you, and a guy like him always gets exactly what he wants.’

  She wanted to hug herself. ‘When’s filming? And what about Glamazons? Won’t this interfere with scheduling?’

  ‘I already spoke to them, and they can work around it. One of their stars in a movie this big is only going to help the show’s profile.’

  It was really all happening! Ruth couldn’t believe that the movers and shakers of Hollywood were rescheduling around her. She wished Charlie were here so he could see what she meant. This was a big deal, and by the numbers Erik was throwing out, in more ways than one.

  Erik was staring at her stomach. ‘So sweets, what’s the deal with this kid? Jackson wants you in December, so I guess it’ll need to come out soon, so you’ll have enough time to bounce back.’

  Ruth looked at him. ‘Sorry …what?’

  ‘You know, get it … born or whatever, I don’t know.’

  ‘Erik the baby isn’t due until January,’ she chuckled. ‘This isn’t like TV; you can’t do these things on cue.’

  Erik was dismissive. ‘Of course you can.’ He made a slicing motion across his own stomach. ‘The hospitals do it all the time.’

  Ruth stared at him. Was he seriously expecting her to intentionally deliver a premature baby by C-section? ‘Are you crazy? That’s way too early; there could be all sorts of problems…’

  ‘Nothing compared to the problems we have if the shoot’s delayed.’

  ‘Erik, please tell me you are not serious. Surely Peter Jackson wouldn’t expect me to – ’

  ‘The studio sets the terms sweetheart. As far as I know Jackson doesn’t know jack-shit about you being knocked up. And I don’t think he cares either. Hell – who does? The important thing is we get it born and then we get you down on set – to some outback Australian hell-hole, I heard.’

  ‘Hold on – and I’m supposed to bring my premature baby down there too?’

  Erik looked at her. ‘Are you crazy? They have people for that sort of thing. Nah, you just do the Vanity Fair shoot with Troy and then get your ass down –’

  ‘What? What Vanity Fair shoot?’

  Erik grinned. ‘The one I nailed just yesterday – one million dollars for first world pictures. Honey you have no idea how hot this kid is – the whole world wants to see Troy Valentine’s …’

  Ruth stood up, red-faced. ‘You arranged a photo shoot for pictures of my child, a child that you expect me to put in danger by delivering prematurely to meet a … goddamn scheduling commitment? And if that wasn’t bad enough, then you want me to leave it in the care of complete strangers?’

  Erik looked at her as if she was crazy. ‘Of course.’

  Ruth’s brain pounded. She just couldn’t believe this, and instead of wishing that Charlie could hear this, she was delighted he was thousands of miles away. This was disgusting, depraved, immoral…

  And suddenly Ruth realised that to get what she wanted – what she’d always dreamed of – this was
the deal she needed to do with the devil.

  Well to hell with that…

  These people… Erik, the studio, Troy, Chloe … the whole lot of them were corrupt and nasty – this life was corrupt and nasty. And while she’d always known that life at the top was supposed to be tough, there was always just enough gloss, just enough glamour to hide the truth and keep idiots like her striving to get there. These people weren’t her friends and they didn’t care about her.

  Ruth felt sick. And clearly they didn’t care about her baby.

  Despite her realisation of the sickening truth, suddenly Ruth felt a surge of relief.

  These last few months she’d been lucky enough to discover what was real, and who did care about her and her baby. Her parents, whom she’d shut out of her life for far too long, her friends like Nina and Trish and her trustworthy GP Jim Kelly back in Lakeview.

  And Charlie. Always Charlie. There really had never been anyone to take his place, and why it took her so long to realise that she didn’t know.

  But what she did know was that she couldn’t spend another minute away from him. She didn’t want to separate her child from the man that would love the two of them for the rest of their lives.

  Ruth smiled. If Peter Jackson wanted her that badly, then he and his crew would just have to talk to her from Lakeview.

  Without another word to Erik she stood up and headed for the door.

  ‘Hey, where are you going? Now’s not the time to go powdering your nose – the suits will be here soon and –’

  ‘I don’t care.’

  He looked at her, incredulous. ‘What do you mean you don’t care?’

  ‘I’m leaving,’ she said, going outside and coming face to face with Chloe.

  ‘Um, you just got here?’ her assistant said, smacking her gum. ‘You have a meeting, like … right now.’

  ‘No I don’t. Tell them I had to cancel.’

  Her assistant eyeballed her, as if she was some kind of crazy woman. ‘Like …why?’

  ‘Because I’m getting the hell out of here, getting a flight back to Dublin.’