‘You’re right,’ she said, after a long pause. ‘Starting with that fabulous palace hotel in India. I looked it up after you told me about it. I so want to see it for myself.’
‘I studied engineering at university, not psychology. But that seems to make sense. To go see a maharajah’s palace is as good an incentive as any for you to break out.’
‘I’m going to aim for it—something to focus on.’ She looked up at him, her face still and very serious. Then she reached up and touched his cheek with her cool, eucalyptus-scented fingers. ‘Sam, thank you for being the first person I’ve ever told anything about all this.’
Knowing he had helped her felt good. He caught her hand with his. ‘Don’t let me be the last. Talk to your mother. Perhaps even seek professional help,’ he said. ‘We really don’t want you trapped inside that dome.’
‘But only I can get over it. No one can do that for me.’ She kept hold of his hand as she spoke.
‘You’ve taken the first step by realising you need help,’ he said.
Her eyes widened. ‘Sam Lancaster, how did you get to be so wise?’
‘I’m not wise. I...I just like you.’ Maybe that was all it took—to care enough about another person to help her. It might transcend everything.
‘I’m glad to hear that. Because...because I like you too,’ she said.
Her eyes were in shadow but amazingly green, the pupils very large as she looked back at him. Again, there was that long moment of silent communication between them. She swayed towards him. Before he could think any further about it, he caught her and lowered his head to kiss her, first on each of those delightful dimples, then her pretty mouth. But this time, now he understood where she was coming from, he held back so the kiss stayed tender and non-threatening.
She gave a gasp of surprise followed by a murmur of pleasure as she relaxed into the kiss. Her arms slid up around his neck and she pulled his head closer. The kiss started as a light brushing of lips, returned tentatively at first as if she were wary, then more passionately, perhaps as she realised she was safe with him. Her warm lips, the cool taste of her tongue, ignited his hunger for her. A shudder of want ran through him as he deepened the kiss. But as it became more urgent she broke away, gasping, her face flushed.
‘Sam. Wow. That...that was wonderful. Yesterday was wonderful. And...and I wasn’t scared.’
‘You will never have cause to be frightened of me,’ he said.
He would do all he could to make sure she trusted him. But the confusion and doubt on her face made him realise it would not be plain sailing.
‘Thank you,’ she said and squeezed his hand. ‘But I...I don’t know that I’m ready for...for more yet. I...I haven’t got anything to give you when I’m such a mess.’
He had trouble keeping his voice even, still reeling from the impact of her kiss. From knowing he wanted so much more. ‘You’re not a mess. You’re a smart, special woman who just has the one problem to deal with.’ He dropped a light kiss on her cheek. ‘And I’ve got the takeover bid for the business looming.’
He should take his cue from her—the last thing he needed right now was the complication of a relationship. Not when he only had a few days to make a decision that would impact on so many other people.
Though wasn’t he doing what he always did—using work as an excuse for keeping his distance?
‘I guess we both have issues to deal with,’ she said. She looked up at him. ‘Sam, you’ve been such a help to me today, I’d love to be able to help you. If you want someone to talk over your business stuff with, well, I’m your girl. Not that I know anything about construction, but I could be a sounding board.’
‘Thanks,’ he said. He was touched by her offer, but the decision whether or not to sell the company his grandfather, his father and then he himself had invested their lives in rested firmly on his own shoulders.
She made a game of fanning herself with one graceful, elegant hand. ‘I’m going to dip my feet in the water to cool off. Want to come with me?’
She walked into the ankle-deep shallows at the river’s edge and he fell into step beside her.
Cooling off seemed like a very good idea.
* * *
Sam had kissed her again and Kate had loved every moment of it. There’d been no panic, no fear, just pleasure, comfort and excitement. But now wasn’t the time for further kissing—though there was nothing she’d rather be doing. She knew, deep down, that until she sorted out her agoraphobia—if that was what it was—kissing Sam would only complicate things.
When she’d first seen him, her instincts had told her he was dangerous. Now she was convinced he wasn’t dangerous in the way she had feared. The real danger was to her heart.
It would be only too easy to fall in love with Sam.
And she couldn’t handle that right now.
To talk about all that stuff she’d kept bottled up inside her for so long had been truly liberating. Sam was a wonderful listener and seemed to have an instinct for drawing out her most painful memories. What she’d liked most was that he had given her good advice without judging her.
‘When did you realise that Dolphin Bay had become a prison?’ he said now as they walked hand in hand in the ankle-deep water at the edge of the lagoon.
‘Only recently. The wedding has brought it all into focus. And...and it’s only today, here by myself in this place that I love, that I realised how restricted my life had become. That...that it isn’t enough any more.’
‘You might have to dig down deeper under the scars from the past to find out how to fix it,’ he said, obviously choosing his words carefully.
She turned away. ‘You must think I’m a neurotic wreck.’ She tried to make a joke of it, but her words came out as sounding anything but funny. With a tug to her hand, he pulled her back to face him.
‘Of course I don’t think you’re a neurotic wreck. In fact, I don’t know how you’ve held it together this long.’
‘Obviously I didn’t hold it together. I’m a recluse.’
‘Where do you get these labels from? You’re far from being a recluse. You have family and friends who all care for you.’
‘I haven’t dated for years, you know.’
‘That I find very difficult to believe.’ The admiration in his eyes took the sting out of her admission.
‘I didn’t trust my judgement. I couldn’t tell the bad guys from the good guys.’
‘Have you made a judgement of me?’
‘You’re...you’re definitely one of the good guys.’ Of her intuition, she was absolutely certain.
‘Good,’ he said. ‘So where did Jesse fit in?’
‘I’ve been thinking about that too. Trying to analyse how I got it so wrong.’
‘Seems to me you got attached to Jesse about the same time as your dad moved out.’
She thought back to that traumatic time. ‘Maybe. Everything else got turned upside down but my friend was still there. Stable. Secure. Maybe I got to believe all those family jokes about if we didn’t each meet someone else we’d end up together.’
‘Maybe that stopped you from getting serious about someone else.’
‘You mean, after I came back here I used a crush on Jesse to protect myself from taking risks with other guys?’
‘Could be.’
‘It...it makes a strange kind of sense,’ she said slowly.
Sam glanced down at his watch. ‘Talking of Jesse, Ben and Sandy—if we leave now we can meet our friends in Sydney in time for dinner. What do you think?’
She swallowed hard at the sudden constriction in her throat. ‘I want to go. I really do. I feel sick that I’ve let them down—feel even sicker that I’ve let myself down with this stupid fear.’ She forced bravado into her voice. ‘Maybe...maybe I’m ready to try again. W
ith you to hold my hand, that is.’
‘I can drive us. But are you sure you want to go?’
She wasn’t at all sure. But she was determined to give it a try. For Sandy. For Ben. For Sam, who’d been so patient with her.
She held on to his hand as they made their way back via the quicker route up through the bushland and along the pathways that led past the site for the new hotel. But, as they got closer to the town centre where she’d parked her car, Kate dropped his hand.
‘I know it’s ironic, as I’m the biggest gossip in town myself, but I’ve had enough of people talking about me,’ she explained. ‘I want to keep our...our friendship to ourselves.’
‘Fair enough. I don’t like people talking about my business either.’ He stopped. ‘But I do like holding your hand,’ he said with a grin that warmed her heart.
* * *
Kate was okay getting into her car and driving home with Sam seated next to her. She was okay packing an overnight bag while Sam checked on his carpentry work out in the shed. She only started to get shaky as she drove back to the hotel to transfer to Sam’s sports car.
‘You okay?’ he asked.
‘Yep,’ she said, pasting on that cheerful smile, hoping it would give her the courage and strength she so severely lacked.
But as soon as Sam opened the passenger door for her to get in she was again gripped by fear. As she went to slide into the seat, her knees went to jelly. Nausea rose in her throat and she started to shake.
She gasped for air. ‘I can’t do it, Sam. I thought I could, but I can’t.’
He pulled her out of the car and held her to him, patting her on the back, making soothing, wordless sounds until the shaking stopped. She relaxed against him, beyond caring who saw her or what they might say.
‘Too much, too soon,’ he said.
She pulled away. ‘Maybe,’ she said. ‘But I’m so angry with myself, so disappointed...’
‘So we don’t go to Sydney. What’s the fuss?’
‘You could still go. You’ve got plenty of time to get up there.’
‘What’s the point of a groomsman going out on the town without his bridesmaid?’
‘You can still have fun in Sydney. Lizzie booked a really nice venue.’
‘No arguments. I can go out in Sydney any time. I’m staying here with you.’
‘But—’
He placed his index finger over her lips. ‘No buts. We’re going to look at this afternoon like it’s a bonus. It gives us more time to spend working on the arch.’
She took a few more deep breaths, felt her heart rate returning to normal.
‘I haven’t shown you yet how good I am as a handywoman.’
‘Now’s your chance,’ he said. ‘Then we’re going to go on that date.’
‘Wh-what about your no dating rule?’
‘I own the company; I make the rules. I say to hell with that rule—as least, as it applies to you. I’m taking you out to dinner. We’ll have our own party.’
She laughed with relief and a bubbling excitement. ‘As Ben so obviously tried to set me up with you, I don’t think there’s a “no dating Sam” rule in place. It was more my own...my own fears giving me an excuse.’
‘Let’s book the best restaurant in Dolphin Bay.’
‘The Harbourside is the best restaurant,’ she said loyally.
‘Okay—the second-best restaurant in Dolphin Bay,’ he said. ‘Or Thai take-out on the pier. Or fish and chips at the pub. Your choice.’
She smiled, relieved she could feel normal again, excited at the thought of dinner with Sam. ‘I’m overwhelmed by the responsibility of the decision. But Thai does sound kind of tempting.’
‘Thai it is—and lots of it. I’m starving.’
‘Are you always hungry?’
‘Always,’ he said.
She laughed. ‘I’m really getting to know you, aren’t I?’
While she kept a happy smile pasted to her face, inside Kate wasn’t so happy. The more she got to know Sam, the more she liked him.
But what future could there be for a man who travelled the world and a girl who was too scared to go further than the outskirts of her home town?
CHAPTER TEN
SANDY HAD BEEN RIGHT, Kate realised on the day of the wedding. A wedding was more fun for a bridesmaid when she had a handsome groomsman in tow. It was also more fun for a wedding planner when that groomsman had volunteered to be her helper—not only with the construction of the bridal arch, but also with other last-minute jobs along the way.
Not that Sam and she had spent much time together since their Thai take-out dinner. She’d still had her shifts at the hotel. And Sam had seemed to be in one conference call or video call after another. So much for that break from his business.
But, despite his grumbling about waste-of-time wedding fripperies, Sam had not only finished the arch but had also helped Sandy and her with writing the place cards and Emily with counting out the sugared almonds to put in the tulle-wrapped wedding favours. He had, however, point-blank refused to tie pretty pastel ribbons on them.
Now Ben and Sandy’s big day was here. Dolphin Bay had, thank heaven, put on its finest weather for the last weekend of daylight saving time—although Kate didn’t take the good weather for granted. With a ceremony being held outdoors on the beach, she’d planned alternative arrangements to cover all contingencies, from heatwave to hailstorm.
At noon she was still in the function room at the Hotel Harbourside, where the reception was to be held, making final checks on the arrangements for the buffet-style meal.
Sliding doors opened out onto an ocean-facing balcony that gave a good view of the ceremony site on the beach below. Every few minutes she dashed out to see if the sky was indeed still perfectly blue and free of clouds, the wind still the gentle zephyr that would not make an organza-adorned arch suddenly become airborne as the bride and groom exchanged their vows. Not unnecessary anxiety, she told herself, for a wedding scheduled to start in just four hours.
Everything that could be checked off on her multiple pages of lists had been checked off. Everyone who had needed to be briefed on their wedding duties had been briefed. Now it was time for the hotel staff to take over. And for her to start having fun.
But, as she headed for the door that led into the hotel corridor, she couldn’t resist turning back and picking up a silver serving platter to see if it had been polished as directed. She peered closely at it, fearing she saw a scratch.
‘Ready to stop being an obsessive wedding planner and start being a bridesmaid? I’ve been dispatched to find you.’ Sam’s deep, resonant voice coming from behind her made her jump so she nearly dropped the platter. She hadn’t heard him come in.
She turned to face him and halted halfway. Her heart seemed to stop as it always did at the first sight of this man who took up so much space in her thoughts. He’d shaved and had had his hair cut. She smiled. ‘You look different,’ she said, after a long moment when her heartbeat had returned somewhat to normal. ‘Just as handsome, but different.’
And even hotter than when she’d last seen him.
‘I’m taking my groomsman duties seriously,’ Sam said. ‘Ben wanted me clean shaven, so I got clean shaven.’
She was unable to resist reaching up and tracing the smooth line of his jaw with her fingers. She would have liked to kiss him, but two of the waiting staff were polishing champagne flutes at the other end of the room. ‘You look more corporate than carpenter and that takes a little getting used to. But I like it. And the haircut. Though, I have to say, I really liked the stubble.’
‘I guarantee that’ll be back by morning,’ he said with a grin.
“Good,” she said.
She put her hand on his arm. ‘Are you okay with all this wedding stuff
? I mean, it isn’t weird for you when your own wedding was cancelled? I hate to think it might bring back sad memories.’
‘I’m good with it. I wasn’t actually there for all my own wedding preparations. I was working in Queensland or Western Australia, or Singapore or somewhere else far away.’
‘Your fiancée mustn’t have been too happy about that.’
‘She wasn’t. To the point she accused me of being so uninvolved with the preparations, she didn’t think I was interested in the wedding or, ultimately, truly interested in her.’
Kate didn’t know what she could say to that other than a polite murmur. ‘I see.’
‘Her tipping point was when I couldn’t make the rehearsal because it clashed with an important business engagement.’
Suddenly Kate felt more than a touch of sympathy for Sam’s unknown fiancée. ‘I would have been furious if I were her.’
‘She was. That’s when she threw her engagement ring at me and told me the wedding was off.’
‘And you were surprised?’
‘Well, yes.’
‘Now that you’ve had time to reflect about it, are you still surprised?’
He grinned. ‘No.’
‘Good. I would have had to revise my opinion of you if you had said yes.’
‘I’ve had plenty of time to reflect that I was a selfish workaholic, too obsessed with proving myself to my father to be a good boyfriend or a good fiancé. Certainly, I wouldn’t have been a good husband.’
‘So you weren’t really ready to get married?’
‘Probably not. But I’ve also had time to think about whether Frances was right. Maybe...maybe I just didn’t love her enough to make that level of commitment and subconsciously used work as an excuse.’ He paused and she could see remembered pain in his eyes. ‘I was gutted at the time, though. We’d been together for years.’
‘Would you say you’re still a selfish workaholic?’ Kate asked, unable to stop a twinge of jealousy at the thought of the woman who’d shared Sam’s life for so long.
‘Probably. That’s one reason I’m considering selling the company. I suspect I’ve given too much of my life to it—given it too much importance at the cost of other more important things.’
The Tycoon and the Wedding Planner Page 12
