by Andi Bremner
“Um, yeah,” said Gwen, “we could probably do some Kate Bush.”
Trinity turned around and spoke to Gwen who then spoke to the other girls. They all nodded and then the drummer girl picked up the beat.
I knew this song. It was Don’t Give Up.
I leaned forward, resting my forearms on my knees as I listened to Trinity sing. She didn’t look at me, kept her eyes shut for most of the song, but I couldn’t drag my eyes from her. With her eyes closed it was like she was giving me permission to examine every inch of her, take in her fine bone structure, her slender waist and slight frame, the way her lips moved. I imagined them moving against mine, imagined her lips wrapped around…
I sucked in a breath and tilted my head up, staring at the night sky. Stars. Blackness. I started counting the stars in an attempt to get my hard on under control.
When she finished there was the same awed kind of applause and then the girls put down their instruments, declaring they were taking a break.
Gwen spoke to Trinity and then came straight over to us. I kept my eyes trained on Trinity who was speaking to the other girls and didn’t once look in my direction.
“Hey,” Gwen said, “you came.”
“You invited me,” Toby told her as she sat down next to him.
She shrugged. “I guess I did.”
I watched the two of them, struck yet again by how strange it was that Toby was seeing this girl more than once. More than twice even. There didn’t seem to be any strange vibe between them though, they looked, he looked, relaxed.
“So what is this?” Dylan asked looking around the strange party that wasn’t like any party we were used to.
“A friend of ours, Mark, lives here and we sometimes come over and hang out. He rang this afternoon and asked if we’d come a play a few songs for his friends. We are always up for a gig.”
“Different,” I observed, “from what you normally play.”
Gwen looked at me. “You mean at The Silver Den? Yeah, very different. Tony likes us to play rock stuff, and it’s pretty much how we play, but I like this. It’s different and I think these small gatherings, the more folksy songs suit Trinity’s voice beautifully.”
“She’s got a fabulous voice,” Dylan commented. “What did you say her name was?”
Gwen looked at me for the briefest moment. “Trinity.”
Dylan nodded, recognizing the name from our brief conversation. He glanced at me but I wasn’t up for talking to him. I couldn’t take my eyes of Trinity. She chatted to the girls for a few minutes longer and then disappeared inside the house. Without thinking I was on my feet and making my way across the lawn, stepping over people on blankets and makeshift picnics as I followed her.
The house was a single story and it wasn’t hard to find Trinity. She was in the kitchen, getting herself a glass of orange juice. She didn’t look up when I entered, so I leaned against the kitchen door, waiting for her to finish her drink. I didn’t think there was anything more than juice in it.
Finally she looked at me. “Hi.” She spoke quietly, her voice only a little above a whisper.
“Hi.” I crossed my arms over my chest, only to stop myself from reaching out and touching her. And not only touching her but pulling her into my arms and kissing her senseless. I’d thought of nothing else for days.
“Can I get you a drink or anything?” she asked politely, gesturing around the kitchen.
“I’m good thanks,” I replied. I’d already had a few beers.
She nodded then turned and put the carton of orange juice back in the fridge. “Well, if you’ll excuse me I’m really tired and we are done here so I em-”
“Don’t go yet,” I told her hating how demanding and desperate my voice sounded.
She paused. “I’m really tired, Luke.”
I shook my head. “Just stay and chat a little. Talk to me.”
Her eyes flickered and my throat clenched with the idea that she might say no. That she might tell me to go away like she had the other day. God, I was a glutton for punishment when it came to this girl but I just couldn’t stay away.
To my surprise though, she nodded. “Okay. Sure.”
She went to sit down but I reached out and grabbed her elbow, stopping her. She looked at where my hand touched her skin and then turned her face up toward mine. With her eyes wide and round like that, her red lips open in surprise, I deserved a medal for not kissing her right then and there.
“Not here,” I told her, “somewhere else.”
“Okay.”
This time she led me, walking through the house and out the front door. There was a porch and in the dark along one side sat an old porch swing. We sat in it tentatively and it made me smile when I realized Trinity’s feet couldn’t even reach the ground. She tucked them underneath her and turned to face me a little, resting her arm along the back of the chair and her head in her hand. It dawned on me then that she really was tired. Looking closely I could see faint purple shadows beneath her makeup. The bruise was still there slightly and her forehead was taped up, but it was more than that. The girl was exhausted.
“You are tired,” I commented.
She nodded. “I could sleep for ten years.”
“Late nights?” my throat clenched over the words. Was she having late nights because she was seeing someone else?
Again she nodded. “And early mornings. Work has been really busy and with rehearsals and everything else…”
“You want me to take you home?” I asked, glancing around the yard. Her car wasn’t here so she must be relying on one of the girls to drop her home. I didn’t have my car and I probably shouldn’t drive after the few drinks I’d had but I could get Dylan…
“No, that’s okay.” She paused, unsure for a second before she continued, “I am home.”
I glanced at her with surprise. Here? She lived here? But wait, didn’t Gwen say some guy Mark lived here?
“You live here?”
“Yeah. I just moved in.”
“With some guy called Mark?” I knew it wasn’t what it sounded like but the very idea made me feel sick and I needed Trinity to clarify what it was.
“I’ve known Mark for years, he’s a good guy. His wife just left and he was after a housemate,” she explained, “so it’s a good deal all round.”
I glanced around the house and although she’d explained the situation well enough I didn’t like it. I didn’t like her living here, with a guy I didn’t know, who, if he was married must be a few years older than her. She was too small, too fragile.
“Where’s your car?” I asked instead of all the other things I wanted to ask.
“Oh,” she looked around the yard as if surprised that it wasn’t there. “It’s in the shop. Needed some work done.”
“Needs more than a little work,” I said lightly, “you’ll probably be up for a fortune.”
She nodded and looked away and I had the feeling that I had said something wrong. Again. And I didn’t know what.
“How’s your head?”
Color crept up her neck. “Better. Thanks.”
Fuck it. I was saying all the wrong things. I was getting this all wrong and ruining everything good that had happened between us the other night. I knew I shouldn’t do it, that she probably didn’t want me to do it but I couldn’t help myself. Let her push me away, let her tell me to get my hands off her, but I had to try.
I had to kiss her. I was fucking things up by talking anyhow.
Chapter Ten
Trinity
As soon as Luke’s lips touched mine I knew I was a goner. I’d thought of little else but his lips and his kisses and the way he made my insides turn to liquid fire. I didn’t think I’d ever get a chance to feel like that again and now here he was, kissing me again.
I arched against him and moved closer, sliding my hands up his shoulders and into the short strands of hair at the base of his nape. His tongue reached into my mouth and I welcomed it, kissing him deeper. Suddenly I
was lifted off the seat by his strong hands at my waist, and found myself straddling his hips. Pain shot through me at his touch, my ribs still sore and tender and I winced pulling away from him.
“What?” He blinked up at me. “Did I hurt you?”
I shook my head and sucked in some quick breathes to get through the pain. “It’s okay. It’s nothing.”
He didn’t believe me, I could see the flicker in his eyes but I distracted him by leaning in to kiss him again. It worked. I felt his hands on my back, roaming from my shoulder blades down over my buttocks where he cupped me and pushed me closer on him. I could feel his arousal through our denims and it only served to inflame me more. My whole body was trembling and I wanted him, wanted to feel him as close as I possibly could.
His lips left mine and traced hot wet kisses down my throat as I arched against him, holding onto his hair, tugging it. His hands slipped beneath my shirt, tracing over my skin and leaving me burning as if his fingertips were on fire. As if I was on fire everywhere he touched me. A sound filled the air and I realized it was me. I was panting and breathless.
“God, Trinity,” he murmured against my throat, “what you do to me.”
His words sent tiny shivers of delight through me. He pulled me down and kissed me again, hungrily and urgently. His hands reached high and moved over my bra, cupping my breast and rubbing a thumb over my nipple. Something unfurled in the pit of my belly that made me ache. This wasn’t enough. I wanted more.
“Is there somewhere private,” he muttered against my mouth, “where we can go?”
I paused. Somewhere private? I had my own room, right inside, just a few steps away. It had a mattress on the floor and my stuff dumped in a corner. That was it. Could I take him in there? Could I let him see where I was living? And even more importantly, could I do what he was asking me to do?
He must have sensed my hesitation because he was talking again, trying to reassure me. “We’ll take it slow, Trinity. I’ll stop whenever you ask. You just say. But I want to kiss you, I want to keep kissing you and I don’t want to worry that someone is going to walk out that front door and see us.”
I nodded, my mouth dry and stood up, pulling him with me. I didn’t speak, I could barely even look at him as I linked my fingers through his and gestured for him to follow me.
The house wasn’t very big. Just two bedrooms and one bathroom, plus a small kitchen and living area. Mark had the master bedroom and I had the smaller one at the back. I led Luke through the house and to my room, not bothering to turn the light on when we stepped inside. There was enough light coming in through the curtains from the party outside and I didn’t want him to see my room. It was fine, it was better than sleeping in my car, but I knew that it was nowhere near as nice as where he lived and that filled me with shame, reminding me that we came from two different worlds.
I shook myself, pushing those thoughts from my head. We had right now and right now all I wanted was Luke.
Closing the door he pulled me into his arms and kissed me deeply, chasing the rest of my darker thoughts from my mind. I wound my arms around him as his hands roamed over me as if he couldn’t get enough of me, as if he wanted to feel all of me at once. I had never felt so desired, so sexy before in my life.
“God you are so tiny,” he muttered against my mouth. “I’m scared I’ll hurt you.”
I giggled softly. “I’m tougher than I look.”
“I love it when you giggle too,” he said and then kissed me more.
His fingers worked on the buttons of my shirt, slowly slipping them open until he could push my blouse off my shoulders. Then his mouth was on me, working down my throat and over my chest. When he came to my breasts he stopped and looked up at me. “Okay?” he asked.
My chest hurt and my insides felt as if they were on fire. I could barely breathe and he was asking permission for something I was aching for. All I could do was nod and hope he could see me enough in the pale light.
He pushed my bra down, exposing a breast and then flicked it lightly with his tongue. I groaned as delicious sensations coursed through my body. Then to further torment me he pulled my breast into his mouth and sucked causing me to cry out.
“Fuck, Trinity,” he muttered and led me backwards, “where is your bed?”
“Oh.” I brought him over to the mattress. “It’s on the floor.”
He lay me down and then crawled up alongside me, his dark eyes boring into mine, his brows drawn together. “You sleep on a mattress on the floor?”
I nodded, my throat closing over. Don’t ruin this now, I thought, just forget about it.
He seemed to be thinking and I noted a muscle move in his jaw. He was probably wondering what he was doing here in place like this, with a girl like me. My mind flickered back to the girl at the restaurant, his old girlfriend, and jealousy flared within me. A tiny thought bloomed that despite her, despite her perfection and their perfection together he was here with me, that he chose me. I needed to believe that, to cling to that one thought. At least for now.
Reaching up I touched the taught muscle in his cheek, running my palm over his smooth skin before I cupped his face and drew his head down to mine.
It worked, his attention was distracted and once more his hands were on my body where I so desperately wanted them to be. I tugged on his t-shirt and he got the hint, pulling away from me a little to pull it off and over his head. Then he pressed his warmth against mine and I shivered from the delightful tremors he elicited in me. His hands were all over me and my bra was soon gone.
“Tell me when to stop, Trinity,” he mumbled. “You gotta tell me.”
I nodded. I didn’t want him to stop. Not yet, not now. There was a burning in the pit of my stomach and I wanted him to make that go away first. I wiggled against him, wrapping a leg around his hip.
I heard a snap and realized that his fingers had undone the button on my jean shorts. That made me pause and for a moment I thought now was the time to stop. To say enough. But had I had enough? Luke now saw where I lived. He knew I slept on a shitty mattress in some shitty house. He knew I worked in a coffee shop, that I played in a band hoping one day to make it big, and he knew I was damaged. He knew I wasn’t part of his world now, nor would I ever be.
After tonight would he ever want me again? This might be the only time I ever got to have someone like Luke this close to me again.
“Trinity?”
“Don’t stop, please,” I begged him, moving his hand back down my stomach, “I need … something.”
He smiled, his lips stretching in the shadows baring a flash of white teeth. “Something?”
“I don’t know,” I paused, wriggling beneath him. “I ache.”
He groaned. “Fuck, Trinity, you can’t say that stuff to me.”
“Oh. I’m sorry,” I muttered, horrified.
He groaned again. “No. Don’t be sorry, because hearing you say that has gotta be one of the hottest things I have ever heard in my life.”
His hand slipped beneath my shorts and he pushed them down. I lifted my hips up so I could wiggle out of them before kicking them all the way off.
Luke pulled back and looked down at me. I mean really looked at me in nothing but my panties. I shivered under his gaze and reached for him, needing him to cover me.
“You’re beautiful,” he muttered before he kissed me.
I shook my head and kissed him. My hands trailed down his back and over the taught muscles. No, I thought to myself, you are beautiful.
His fingers were over my panties and sliding inside them. “How’s that ache?” he asked me. It sounded like he was choking on the words.
“Still there,” I whispered.
“Want me to make it better?”
Heat flooded through me at his words and I nodded.
“Just say the word, Trinity, and I’ll stop.”
Again I nodded and then lifted my hips as he slid my panties down. Now I was naked and he loomed over me, looking at me. I�
�d never felt so sexy in my whole life, not when I danced on stage, when I sang suggestive lyrics, and winked at the guys in the audience. This was a whole new feeling entirely.
His fingers were sliding over me, teasing me and I yearned for him to do something to stop this torment. Groaning I tilted my head back and opened my legs a little, inviting him in. The burn was worse and I thought I’d explode if he didn’t do something.
Then a finger slid between my legs and pushed in. I groaned and bit my lip. Oh my god. He pulled back a little before pushing further in making me groan even more.
“Fucking hell, Trinity,” he muttered, “you are so hot and wet.”
His words sent a delicious thrill through my center and I opened my legs more. Now his fingers flicked out and touched my bud, moving over it in a rhythm that sent out sparks of delight to every single nerve in my body. Luke wasn’t kissing me anymore but he was watching me and I could feel his eyes on my body, which only made me hotter.
“You are so tight,” he said, “has anyone ever done this for you before?”
I shook my head. No. No one had ever touched me like this.
He slipped another finger inside me and moved it as he continued to stroke my clit. Reaching up I grabbed hold of my pillow and clenched it tight as I arched against his hand.
“That’s it, baby,” he muttered, “come for me. I wanna feel you come on my hand.”
His words sent me over the edge and I screamed as what I recognized as my first orgasm rippled through me. By the time it had subsided he was kissing me, his mouth moving urgently over mine, his fingers still inside me.
“Trinity?”
I was breathless, I could barely inhale and yet I could feel that burn inside of me growing again. I would come again. I knew it, but this time I wanted something more.
“You are so hot, and wet and tight,” he swallowed over his words, “fuck I want in baby, but if you say no, I’ll stop right now, I promise.”
I shook my head. No. Don’t stop. I’m ready and I want this. I was eighteen and still a virgin. It was time to give it up and do it now, with someone who was making this more than just okay. Who was making this wonderful.
