Stryker (Books 1 & 2) (Atrox Security)

by J. C. Cliff

  James smiles widely. “Yeah!”

  “What are we talking about?” Graham’s voice rains down over top of my head, sending cold shivers down my spine. I’m so startled my entire body jerks, but I don’t think he notices, since I’m down low on my knees. I’m so shaken I feel like I have to pick my heart up off the floor.

  I look up at Graham as he stands there as an overbearing threat, his hands casually resting in the pockets of his neatly pressed dress pants. He looks clueless, because he’s grinning down at us. I smile back at him in sweet relief. “We were just talking about James showing me his room later. He has an imaginary friend who lives in his closet that he’d like to introduce me to.”

  Graham starts to chuckle then shakes his head, amused. “He’s nonstop.”

  I lick my dry lips out of nervousness, knowing I have to put on a false front much sooner than planned. The only two men I've ever truly loved are right within my grasp, and everything I do, everything I say, is going to depend on a successful escape.

  I rise to my feet and step around James, and then with trembling hands, I wrap my arms around Graham’s trim waistline. I force down the hate and animosity and clench my teeth hard, forcing myself to lay my head against his steel chest. I know I've startled him, because he just stands still for a moment with his hands at his sides. Slowly, his body relaxes into mine then returns the embrace.

  He lets out a heavy sigh of relief then nuzzles his nose into the crook of my neck, whispering in a choked voice, “God, baby.” I’ve rendered him speechless. My chest constricts as I inhale the familiar scent and close my eyes, remembering the innocent time in my life when I truly loved this man, but that Graham was buried a year ago. I shed a tear, because his betrayal cuts deep.

  “All right, all right,” James says, almost disgusted. “I’m out of here before you guys kiss.” Then as he takes off for the door, he adds over his shoulder, “I’ll be in the kitchen.” Both of us burst out in laughter. My James is such a character. He always did make me laugh, just like his father.

  Graham looks down at me the same time I lift my chin. His lips almost meet mine, and our smiles fade. I faintly shake my head, silently telling him no. I know he wants to kiss me, but I can’t. I’ll never be able to give him what he wants. “Baby steps,” I whisper. “I’m just thankful my two men are alive.” And I’m not talking about Graham.

  I can feel his chest rise and fall against mine as he fights to hold back his passion. “You don't know how much I've missed you, or what this step forward means to me.” He swallows hard, his emotions on display, which is how the old Graham would’ve reacted. A softhearted romantic. “You just have no clue how much I love you,” he says fiercely.

  “I know I've caused you a lot of pain, and for that, I’m so terribly sorry. You have to know the avenue I was forced to take was a last option. I had no choice.” He frowns then strokes the side of my face, softly speaking, “I would've much rather lost you for a year than for me to be in jail for decades, never seeing you or our son again. I know you're still angry. I can feel it, and I can accept that. You just need to know I will make this right between us. I will mend the broken fences, and we will have what it was we had before, and more. I promise you that.”

  I close my eyes against his soft touch, hating myself a little bit for mourning him. “It just hurts so bad,” I tell him honestly. “I feel like my heart has been ripped wide open.” And it has been, because the man I used to love is keeping the love of my life, my son’s real father, captive. He’s right under my feet. My heart speeds with the knowledge. I don’t think Graham knows yet just who Stryker is, because if he did, all hell would break loose, and I would not be exempt from his anger. I have to think fast, act swiftly, all while relying on a five-year-old to lead the way out of Hell.

  CHAPTER 45

  ~ Valerie ~

  “What’s the matter, honey?” Graham eyes me with sincere worry. “You’ve barely touched your dinner, and you’ve hardly eaten a thing today.”

  What do I say? I’ve been nothing but a ball of nerves since I’ve been here, but now I’m a nervous wreck knowing Stryker is below this house somewhere, and I don’t know how badly beaten he is.

  “Mommy got sick today,” James helpfully tells Graham from across the dining room table.

  Graham whips his head to James then back to me, and arches a brow. “Oh?” He reaches for my hand and gives it a tender squeeze. “Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve had a lighter meal made for you. I can get you some soup,” he adds, trying to be helpful. I fight to keep my hand still and not pull away it from his grasp.

  “It’s no big deal. I feel better now,” I lie, while forcing a small smile. “Maybe I’ve had too much change too quickly. I’m truly fine,” I assure him.

  He looks at me warily then shocks me by lifting my hand to his lips. Never removing his gaze from mine, he kisses the back of my hand. I stifle a gasp. Is he trying to gage my reaction, testing me? Probably, I decide. I close my eyes and pretend it’s Stryker’s lips on my hand, envisioning we’re somewhere else, far away from here.

  “You’re trembling,” Graham remarks in a troubled voice. “I’m so sorry, Valerie. I didn’t know how this shock was going to affect you. I would’ve thought you’d be able to adjust a little faster than this.”

  I glance at James, who is off in his own little world, pushing mashed potatoes around on his plate, not paying attention to what Graham is saying. I know Graham is being illusive, because of little ears being present, but still, James is too perceptive. I know he can pick up on certain words and connect the dots. He’d always been able to do that.

  “It’s okay,” Graham says, glancing over at James as if he knows exactly what I’m thinking. “I keep a doctor on staff. He can get you something for your nerves,” he offers.

  “No,” I say, shaking my head profusely. No more drugs. “I’ll get through this without, but thank you.”

  “You sure?” He looks at me skeptically. “You’d tell me if you change your mind, right?”

  “I promise. Let me try to work through this my way first, okay?”

  His lips thin in a flat line as he considers my request. He then nods once. “Your way first then.”

  I breathe a sigh of relief when he gives in to me. He places our combined hands down on his lap, and I can feel his strong leg muscles flexing against the back of my hand as he shifts in his chair. He has no intention of letting me go. I reach out and grab my glass of red wine, hoping it’ll help calm my nerves.

  I’m glad James has spent the entire dinner filling in almost every silent void with his stories over the past year. Hearing his jovial voice over the past hour has calmed me immensely. At least I know he wasn’t lacking for love, and he’s been kept extremely busy, probably to help keep his mind off our separation, because he couldn’t have taken the split lightly. We had been inseparable.

  “Dad?” James looks up at Graham with excitement. “Can I show Mom my room now? Then I want to show her all my special forts outside.” I bite my lower lip, fearing Graham will say no, because he looks at me with eyes that say I’m not supposed to be alone with James for awhile. “Please,” James whines in a high-pitched, pleading voice.

  “I’m not sure your mother is feeling up to it,” he says, looking at me with concern.

  “I promise I will take good care of her,” James volunteers. I smile at his persistence.

  “I do have a lot of business to catch up on. I’ve ignored it since your mother got here.”

  “I think it will be good for me to keep my mind busy,” I offer. “Of course, I do respect your initial request,” I add, not elaborating on the ground rules for James’s sake. Graham hesitates, and my heart sinks. “If it would make you feel better, I don’t mind Caleb or someone else watching over us,” I quickly volunteer, hoping to thwart off any suspicions.

  “Dad,” James scolds as if he’s a grown up, and I crack a grin, “I’ve got this. You go to work, and I’ll take care of Mom. I
t’s as simple as that.” I start to chuckle at his grownup talk, and when Graham looks at me and sees the cheerful look on my face, he immediately caves.

  “Fine, James. You’ve talked me into it,” he says with a grin. He levels his gaze on mine, adding, “I don’t have to remind you what happens, do I?”

  “No,” I tell him, as I get up from my chair to wrap my arms around his neck in a thank-you hug. “You have nothing to worry about,” I whisper in his ear. “Do you think Caleb has the time?” I ask innocently.

  “Jesus, Valerie,” Graham murmurs in a heated whisper, not paying any attention to my last question. I take joy in knowing my touch and every display of affection is giving him a false sense of security. He wraps his arms around my back and pulls me into his lap as he scoots his chair out from the table, our combined weight causing the wooden chair to screech against the tiled floor.

  “I can’t seem to say no to you,” he murmurs, as I nuzzle my nose into the crook of his neck. His rich and manly scent reaches the inner most part of me, making my stomach flip. I fight against the rising blush to my cheeks, hating myself for the reaction.

  I look up at him and grin. “Then don’t say no.”

  He half laughs at me then suddenly his chuckle quickly dies. I’m confused for a moment, thinking I’ve screwed up, but it’s not that. His eyes have turned heated and his smile dissipates, because he realizes how physically close we are. He could easily kiss me right now. I can see him thinking about making a move. His hands tighten on my waist, his eyes turning hungry. I’m aware of the physical attraction stirring between us. I can feel the electricity. My throat constricts, and panic begins to settle in my gut, but I hold still in his arms.

  I’d be blind and lying to myself if I said Graham wasn’t a highly sexually attractive man, and part of me wishes I could go back in time when our relationship was new, innocent, and full of good intentions, but that’s impossible.

  The intimacy, trust, and passion will never be restored. I could never give myself over to him willingly. However, I would do anything in order for him to think he has all of me, but only for James’s sake. It would be to trick him into believing we’re a family again, so when he lets his guard down, I could then make my move.

  “I love you,” he voices with utmost sincerity. His eyes even convey their deep affection for me. I can’t say the words back to him, but he already knows that. He knows it’s too much to ask of me right now. I ease his mind the best I can by giving him a chaste kiss on his lips. The second our lips touch, he hisses on contact as if I’ve burned him. I pull away wearing a small grin. His cock twitches beneath me, and he grits his teeth, trying to stay in control. “You’re driving me insane,” he whispers low enough so James can’t hear.

  “C’mon, Dad, let her go,” James gripes from behind. Graham makes a face, and I know he’s trying to get himself back in check. I playfully shrug my shoulders.

  “Fine,” Graham says gruffly, relenting with a long-winded sigh. James jumps up from his chair with excitement, a huge smile plastered on his face.

  *~*~*

  The second James and I go upstairs and walk into his room, the door quickly closes behind me. Startled, I turn around with questioning eyes as I watch James lock the door.

  “Okay,” James whispers, as he holds up his hands and splays out all ten little fingers in front of me. Despite the desperate situation, I find I’m a tad amused over his animations, because he has always spoken with his hands, and oh how I’ve missed it. I want to break down and cry out of sheer happiness that he’s still alive, but I don’t get the chance to ponder those thoughts, because he’s is on a mission. “Here’s the rules. We have to be super quiet. We can't make a sound.”

  I just stand here dumbfounded, because even though James never lacked for confidence, he appears so self-assured and put together, whereas I’m a nervous wreck. Two full-grown adults are at this boy’s mercy and intellect. It’s rather unnerving to have to rely on such a little boy to work around a crime organization, and I’m worried whatever his plan is, it’ll never work.

  I think I’m better off trying to find a way to call for help, because I know what that jungle looks like, and it’s not easy to navigate through. Sadly, I don’t even know my north from my south.

  I shake my head. “James, this won’t work. This is bigger than you and me. I need to find a way to call for help.”

  “No,” he says with immediate finality. “Trust me.”

  I almost laugh, but his face couldn’t be more serious. “All right, James. What’s your plan?”

  “We're going to wait in my room for a little bit. I will make sure Dad is busy then I'm going to show you my secret passage.” Since when does a five-year-old use the word passage? Then again, I remember Graham said his testing revealed he was at least three years ahead.

  I look around his room for the first time, letting everything sink in. His walls are decorated with stars and planets that look real. I sit down on the edge of his bed, noticing his comforter is one big space ship. I glance to my left and see a telescope by the window. I cover my mouth with my fingers when I notice his nightstand has been basically turned into a shrine, housing multiple picture frames of me, along with little memorabilia he’d received from me over the years.

  “Do you like my room?” he asks hopefully.

  “I love it,” I tell him wholeheartedly.

  “I can show you some special planets I found with my telescope later.”

  I just smile at him. “I’d love that.” I have no intention of telling him we’re not coming back. “How did you find these passages?” I ask quietly, scared to say the word too loud, fearful that somehow I might jinx us. “Does your father know that you know?”

  He shakes his blond head back-and-forth, little wisps of hair falling into his eyes as he does so. “Caleb showed me, but I’m not supposed to know about them. He said he would get hurt very badly if I told, so he showed me how to be tip-toe quiet.” Why would Caleb of all people show James something he’s not supposed to know?

  “James, honey, what are we going to do?”

  He tilts his head to the side, confused by my question. “We’re going to help our friend get out of jail.”

  “Okay, but,” I swallow hard against the building anxiety, “how are we going to do that? There are guards outside. They have real guns. It’s too dangerous.”

  “Oh, Mommy,” he says, rolling his eyes as if I’m being dense, “I know all the secret places.”

  “How?” is all I can ask, because I have too many questions rolling around in my head to think of one cohesive thought. “Have you done this before? You know… escaped this place just to see if you could?” Because that would be the little adventurous James I remembered. Back home, he’d always push the limits, running off somewhere, over-exploring his surroundings, and for a boy his age, it was unheard of. It was exhausting to keep tabs on him.

  “Yep,” he says proudly, “I know two ways out.” He holds up two fingers for me, as if I couldn’t comprehend his words. A slight grin surfaces, reminding me of his daddy’s smile, and my heart constricts thinking of him being so close yet so far away.

  “How did you learn all this?”

  “Hey, when you’re good, you’re good,” he says with a cockiness that makes me want to laugh, but this situation we’re in is no laughing matter. I wonder what he will think once we get Stryker and ourselves out of harm’s way that I plan on basically kidnapping my own son?

  CHAPTER 46

  ~ Valerie ~

  James slips back into his room after being gone for over ten minutes. My nerves are spread so thin it feels more like an hour has gone by before he comes back.

  “What’s going on?” I eagerly ask him.

  He waggles his eyebrows like a real smart aleck, as if this is a game to him, but I don’t scold him for acting overconfident. “I asked Dad if he’d play Monopoly with us,” he says chuckling lightly. “He hates that game.”

  “Oh my gosh,�
� I say, trying to hide my mirth. The smart little thing. When did my boy start learning to be so cunning? He’s going to think we’re playing a game and will avoid us, because of an aversion to Monopoly.

  “C’mon,” James says, pulling me off the bed by the hand. “He’s talking to people in his office. He’s gonna be busy for a long time.”

  “How do you know that?” He almost rolls his eyes at me, but then he thinks better of it. “Never mind,” I say, deciding I don’t want to know. He’s lived here for the past year with Graham, so he ought to know firsthand his father’s routines.

  James peeks his head out the door, looking in either direction down the hallway, before he tugs at my hand, silently telling me we’re on the move. With the very first step we take, my pulse skyrockets, and all I can hear is my own heartbeat thundering in my ears. Part of me feels as if I'm a five-year-old myself right now, the way we’re sneaking around.

  In the middle of the hallway, James quietly turns a doorknob. I think we’re going to be entering another bedroom, but instead, it’s a huge linen closet. Once we’re both in, he reaches behind me to close the door without a sound then takes ahold of my hand again, leading the way.

  The closet is narrow, but it spans about twelve feet in width, fully lined with wooden shelving on one side of the wall. When we reach the very end, James grabs ahold of one of the shelves, and with what seems like little to no effort, he pulls open a hidden doorway. The entire section pulls forward without a sound, leaving just enough space between the shelving to slip through the space.

  He grips my hand tightly as I slip into the hidden passageway, trailing behind him. The second he closes the hidden door, we become surrounded in total darkness, and the silence is deafening. I was instructed earlier to stay quiet down these narrow hallways, and with me being such a ball of nerves, I find I can barely breathe anyway.