“Please come inside,” Cassie said. After hugging Karen, she ushered them into the apartment.
“Mom wanted to bake a cake from a recipe your mother used to make, but we don’t have an oven so we bought a cake. I thought about making salads but Mom said a cake was better because this is a celebration. I bet the cake isn’t nearly as good as the one your mom made, but it is what it is. My mom says that all the time. Did your mom say that, too, because my mom says a lot of things that your mom did.”
“I’m sure a store-bought cake will be fine,” Karen assured Amiee.
“You can put Owen down on my bed to sleep. I’ll put pillows around him so he won’t fall off. If you want I can sit and watch him until he wakes up,” Amiee offered, eager to please.
“Okay, but let’s leave the bedroom door open so we’ll be able to hear him.”
“You won’t have a problem. The walls in this place carry sound real well,” Amiee assured her. “But I’ll keep the door open, too.”
While Cassie cut the cake and poured the coffee, Amiee gave her two aunts the grand tour, which took all of ten seconds.
“That’s your bedroom?” Nichole asked Amiee, looking shocked at the closet-size space.
“Small, isn’t it?” Amiee said, “but Mom is building us a real house with Habitat for Humanity. She works every spare minute she can on putting in her hours. We’re hoping to have the house completely done before Christmas. It seems like years from now, because we’re both so, so ready. The fastest anyone has managed to get in their hours was six months. Mom checked. Mom thinks she can do it in eight months. Pretty cool, huh? I’ll have a much bigger bedroom then.”
Amiee went with Nichole to put Owen down on her bed.
“Come sit down,” Cassie invited, offering her sister the sofa and taking one of the mismatched kitchen chairs for herself.
Karen joined her first and hugged Cassie. Her sister clung to her for an extra-long moment. She hugged her back just as tightly. “Before anything else—I want to tell you how sorry I am, Cassie. We didn’t talk about this when you came to get the furniture, but we should have. More than anything I regret our last fight and the awful things I said to you. I called you some dreadful names and then you ran off with Duke. When we discovered you were gone I was sure it was because of the things I said. Mom and Dad were beside themselves with worry and I blamed you. I shouldn’t have, but I did. Afterward I held on to that anger because it was easier to hold you responsible than to accept that I played a part in you leaving with Duke.”
Cassie had never thought she’d hear these words from Karen. Leaning forward, Cassie placed her hand on her sister’s forearm. “There’s enough blame to go around. I was foolish and rebellious. I’m sorry, too, Karen, so, so sorry. We were both in the wrong. I’ve regretted my own words and wanted so badly to tell you I wanted to take back every ugly thing I hurled at you.”
Karen’s hands trembled slightly. “When we didn’t hear from you, no one knew what to think. And later, when you did reach out needing help, I was so awful to you … so righteous and angry.”
“It’s okay,” Cassie whispered. “Really. It hurt at first—I won’t lie about that—but Amiee and I found what we needed. None of that matters now.”
The two sisters clung to each other and openly wept. After a few moments, they broke apart and, embarrassed at all the emotion, they laughed. All that mattered was the fact that they were together and were able to talk heart-to-heart.
Nichole stepped out of the bedroom and announced, “Owen’s sleeping and Amiee is watching him so he doesn’t roll off the bed.”
Cassie wiped the moisture off her face. Karen reached for her purse and dug out the tissues, took one, and handed another to Cassie.
“I apologized to Cassie for our big fight … and everything else,” Karen explained to Nichole, rubbing the tissue across the top of her cheekbones.
Nichole sat down next to Karen and looked at Cassie, and in short order tears formed in her eyes. “Karen isn’t the only one who’s sorry.” She sucked in a deep breath. “I owe you an apology, too. Right before you ran away, I … I read your journal.”
Cassie had figured that out almost right away. Clearly someone had, and it made sense that it would be Nichole. “I know.”
“I found it in your half of the closet and then realized that you knew that I’d read it.”
“You knew I was pregnant with Amiee.”
Keeping her eyes lowered, Nichole nodded. “But I wouldn’t have told Mom and Dad. I wouldn’t, and then you ran away and I was sure it was because you didn’t trust me not to tell. I wouldn’t have—I swear it, Cassie. Before I could reassure you … you were gone. And you left your journal behind as if to say it didn’t matter if I knew your secrets or not, because I never would have access to you again.”
“You blamed yourself for me going with Duke? Both of you?” Cassie had a hard time assimilating this. All these years her sisters had assumed part of the responsibility for her decision to marry Duke. Each one had been convinced that their action had led to the rift between them. “No,” she whispered.
“No?” Nichole repeated.
“No, before any of this happened Duke convinced me that leaving was the only option available to us. I had two hundred dollars in my savings account and that was all we would need to get to Florida, where we could both get jobs.”
Karen and Nichole looked at each other and then at Cassie, and smiled through their tears.
“I have missed you both so much.”
“And we’ve missed you,” Karen said, speaking for them both. “It was never the same after you left.”
“For me, either, and all the while I wondered how I was ever going to make it back home. Remember our hide-and-seek games every summer in the park?”
“Last one home, but you’re home now, Cassie.”
Amiee stood in the doorway to her bedroom. “Is everyone done crying yet?”
Cassie beamed a smile at her two sisters and it felt as if the doors of her heart had been tossed open. “I believe so.”
“Tell me a story from when you were kids my age,” Amiee pleaded.
“Let me see,” Karen lounged back in the sofa. She glanced toward Nichole and Cassie. “Remember Grandma Coulson and the fun things she used to cook for us?” Karen asked.
“Yum—those pizzas she used to make us with English muffins,” Nichole said.
“She made us green eggs and ham once, too, remember?” Karen said.
“And she served us sauerkraut for dessert and it was good,” Nichole added.
“Are you nuts?” Cassie said. “That was gross!” All three laughed at the memory.
“Oh, Karen, Nichole,” Cassie said, tearing up again. “I have so missed you.”
Owen stirred and Amiee immediately went back inside her bedroom.
“You never called,” Nichole said, but her voice wasn’t accusing or critical.
“I couldn’t,” Cassie admitted, lowering her gaze and clenching her fingers together. “Duke wouldn’t allow it.”
“What do you mean he wouldn’t allow it? How could he stop you? You had your own cell, didn’t you?”
“No. He made sure there was no way I could communicate with any of my family. Once he caught me; I’d borrowed a neighbor’s phone and … and let’s just say I paid the price for defying him.” She told them how he’d dislocated her shoulder and given her two black eyes. He refused to take her to the hospital and had a friend reset her shoulder. The pain was so severe Cassie had briefly passed out. She never tried to use a friend’s phone again.
Both were silent, aghast.
“I don’t understand,” Nichole continued. “If Duke was so cruel, why didn’t you leave him?”
This was a question Cassie had asked herself a million times. She gave Nichole the same answer she gave everyone. Getting away from Duke wasn’t as simple as it sounded. “The thing is, walking away from an abusive situation is hard. Harder than anyone realizes.”
/>
“I don’t mean to criticize you,” Nichole said. “I’m just trying to understand.”
“Dad missed you something terrible,” Karen said, taking hold of Cassie’s hand.
“And I missed him and Mom and both of you so much. I don’t think you’ll ever know how I longed for my family.” Tears filled Cassie’s eyes again and she valiantly tried to blink them away. It was the memory of her parents and sisters that helped her through those lonely years; the belief that one day they would all be reunited.
Amiee returned to the doorway. “Mom talked about you all the time. I know just about everything there is to know about both of you. Aunt Karen, when can I meet my cousins? I’m the oldest, you know, and I want to meet Lily. Does she wear makeup yet? Mom won’t let me until I’m thirteen. She said that was because that was how long her mother made her wait.”
“Lily will love meeting you.”
“Can I see her sometime this summer?”
“You bet.”
“We’ll arrange a time later,” Cassie promised.
“Did you know Mom is no longer dating Steve?” Amiee said.
Karen’s eyes connected with Cassie’s. “I thought I heard something about that earlier. Are you okay?” The question was directed at Cassie.
“We miss him,” Amiee answered for her. “Mom doesn’t talk about it much, but I know she does.”
Owen stirred awake and right away Nichole was on her feet. “He’s going to need a diaper change.”
“Can I help?” Amiee asked, hurrying back into her bedroom.
Karen took hold of Cassie’s hand. “I’m sorry about Steve.”
Cassie nodded. “Me, too, but I’m not ready for a serious relationship.”
“I can understand your hesitation. Relationships are hard. Marriage, too.” Karen lowered her head.
Cassie hesitated before gently squeezing her sister’s hand. “Is everything all right between you and Garth?”
Karen nodded. “For the most part. Garth lost his job about three months ago … he was afraid to tell me and so he took money from our retirement account. It’s like we have to start all over again. My husband has hit bottom and frankly so have I. We’re in a tight place financially, but … but that doesn’t concern me nearly as much as seeing Garth in this kind of emotional anguish. I’ve never seen him like this.”
Cassie wrapped her arms around her sister. “I know what it is to hit bottom and to have to start over with nothing. The thing is that there’s only one direction left to go and that’s up.”
“He’s out every day job-hunting and comes home discouraged and deeply depressed. There’s nothing available in his field, and I mean nothing.”
“Is there anything else he’d like to do?” Cassie asked.
“I … I don’t know. I’ve never thought to ask him.”
“I had no job skills when I left Duke, but I’d always enjoyed working with hair. I decided to learn to be a stylist.”
“Garth enjoys golf, or at least he used to, but now it’s too expensive.” She hesitated. “He does a lot of crossword puzzles and works sudoku. From what I can figure that’s how he spends most of his days. To be fair, he does almost all of the household chores now and the cooking, but I can’t see him opening up a housecleaning service.”
“Talk to him. You might be surprised.”
“I will. We both need to look at options. At this point he’s butting his head against a wall. I feel like such an idiot. I should have known something was wrong, but like a fool I ignored what my instincts were telling me.”
“It will get better, Karen, trust me. I’ve been at this same point myself. God will make a way where there is no way. He did in my life, and He will with you, too.”
Her sister smiled and her eyes revealed the light of hope.
Nichole returned with baby Owen on her hip. The baby leaned his head against his mother’s shoulder.
“He wouldn’t come to me,” Amiee said in a dejected tone. “I held out my arms and he turned his head away and refused to look at me.”
“He will once he gets to know you better,” Nichole promised her.
Amiee, however, wasn’t about to let it go at that. “I’m your cousin, Owen, and one day maybe your mother will let me babysit you.”
Nichole laughed. “I think that could be arranged.”
They sat down and ate their cake and talked nonstop for nearly two hours. By the time her sisters left, Cassie was exhilarated and overwhelmed, giddy with happiness. Their visit had gone even better than she’d hoped.
“I like my aunts,” Amiee said, as they stood on the sidewalk and watched Karen and Nichole drive away. “They’re exactly as I pictured them.”
“They really haven’t changed that much.”
“You have,” Amiee insisted.
Karen had brought along the family photo albums their mother had kept, and they’d laughed their way through most of the pictures.
“Do you have pictures of me as a baby?” Amiee asked.
“Very few.” It did no good to remind her daughter there hadn’t been money for frivolities such as cameras and film when Duke needed beer and drugs. She didn’t mention that whatever photos she’d managed to get had been left behind.
“It’s good to have family, isn’t it?” Amiee asked, wrapping her arm around Cassie’s waist.
“Yes, it is,” she agreed, and kissed the top of her daughter’s head. Steve came to mind then, and she wondered where his family was and if he was close to his parents. They hadn’t talked about so many things. The thing was, even so, he was never far from her thoughts.
Chapter 32
After waiting impatiently for two months to hear from Cassie, Steve had given up hope of hearing from her. The next move had to be from her. He’d never meant to pressure her and now it seemed there was no going back and correcting his mistake. For the first couple weeks, he’d been calm and cool about it, but when she didn’t reach out the way he’d hoped he grew irritable. For the last six weeks he’d been angry at the world. It’d gotten to the point that even his best friend had taken to avoiding him.
“I don’t know what your problem is,” Stan snapped at him late one Friday afternoon, “but whatever it is, fix it.” And with that Stan stalked away.
It didn’t help matters that Britt had become a constant thorn in his side. He couldn’t make her understand that no matter how fond he was of her son, he wasn’t interested in dating her.
Steve had lost count of the number of times he had to stop himself from contacting Cassie. He would have in less time it took to breathe if she hadn’t made it abundantly clear that she had to be the one to seek him out. The next move had to come from her and thus far it didn’t look like she was inclined to make one.
He made a point of checking on her through Stan and Megan at the Habitat office. Her house was coming along ahead of schedule. From what Stan said, Cassie was working every spare minute on the project. Her furniture was stored in his warehouse and would remain there until she was ready to collect it. He’d sent word via Stan that he’d hold on to it until needed. He hoped for a personal reply. None came.
As the weeks progressed, his mood darkened. He was back to visiting Alicia more often now, talking out his troubles while standing over her grave site. Now sitting in his pickup at the cemetery, Steve mulled over his conversation with Stan. If he had a clue on how to fix this thing with Cassie, he would have done it two months ago. As it was, they were at a complete standstill.
Climbing out of his truck, Steve walked over to his wife’s grave site. It eased his mind to talk to Alicia, which was sort of absurd, seeing that she couldn’t respond. Still, it’d become a habit.
In the months following her death, he’d been to the cemetery nearly every day. He’d stop by three or four times a week on his way to or from work and then on weekends. As time progressed he’d come less frequently. Alicia would have understood, and he was fairly certain she’d approve of the way he spent his time these days,
working with Habitat.
He felt responsible for looking after the grave site, bringing her flowers. Alicia’s family all lived on the East Coast and he was the only one to keep her grave tended.
When he arrived at the grave site, to his surprise, he saw that someone had left a bouquet of flowers. They looked like they were a couple of days old. Steve couldn’t imagine who would have brought them. He would probably never know. He removed the older bouquet and replaced it with the fresh one.
“It’s been awhile,” he whispered, straightening, and then felt he should make an effort to explain. “I meant to come sooner.”
He bent over and brushed away grass clippings. He’d had Alicia’s picture placed on her gravestone as a reminder that she’d been beautiful and far too young to have lost her life. Seeing her photo smiling back at him made talking to her feel less strange.
“Stan said I needed to fix what was wrong. I wish I could, but I can’t do anything about Cassie,” he said. “It was her choice. I was in the wrong and apologized, but that wasn’t enough.” What frustrated him most was that at one point she’d actually compared him to her ex-husband, as if Steve was some kind of lowlife. It tightened his jaw every time he thought about what she’d said. “If she can’t tell the difference between a man like me and a man like Duke, I’m better off without her,” he said, talking out loud again.
His shoulders sagged. He’d been telling himself that repeatedly, not that he was anywhere close to believing it.
Steve knew he’d been walking around like an injured bear for nearly two months. He had to fix this. Looking down at his wife’s grave marker, he released a sigh.
He waited for a moment while he mulled over his dilemma.
“Do I love her?” he asked himself.
“I think so,” he said, answering his own question. “My gut’s been in a perpetual knot ever since we split.”
He walked a complete circle around the grave site.
He stopped and abruptly rammed his fingers through his hair.
Finally, he headed back to his truck. He’d brought the old wilting floral bouquet and tossed it into the flatbed to discard at home. As he did, a card fell out. Steve reached down and took hold of it—it was printed with the name of the grocery store where the flowers had been bought.
Last One Home Page 26
